Shang Zhitao was packing her luggage in the Northwest.

She had stayed in the Northwest for fourteen months. These fourteen months, through wind and rain, had been incredibly difficult.

Suddenly, she felt a bit reluctant to leave this small home.

After packing and shipping her luggage back to Beijing, and giving the good mattress that Luan Nian bought to a colleague who didn’t mind taking it, all this bustle went on until evening.

Dragging a small suitcase to the airport, Shelly went to see her off. The two had spent fourteen months together day and night, overcoming countless project difficulties. At this moment, they suddenly felt a sense of mutual appreciation.

“Why not apply to be the general manager of the branch company in the Northwest?” Shelly said.

Shang Zhitao smiled: “That could work.”

“I’m serious. Beijing is hard to navigate, especially for our company. People with money, with connections, you never know when you might offend someone. It’s better here, far from the emperor’s reach. One project every few years, each project sustains you for years.”

“Speaking of projects, the company approved over 400,000 in project bonuses, which should be distributed together at the end of the year.”

“That’s great. Thank you. Consider my suggestion, come here to be the branch company boss.”

Shang Zhitao laughed heartily.

Back in Beijing, she returned to the vortex of public opinion. But one thing was particularly good—she, Sun Yu, and Sun Yuanzhu found a day to watch a midnight movie. In the empty theater, the three people each guarded a row of empty seats, letting their emotions float away in the darkness.

When they came out, they walked side by side. Sun Yu mentioned that Christmas years ago. It had snowed, and the three of them had walked out of the cinema, treading on snow for six kilometers.

That night they took many, many photos in the complex, but their favorite was still that group photo of the three. The three of them standing in the snow, at the prime of their lives. At that time, none of them had suffered much; they all had innocent looks.

“Those days can’t come back, can they?” Sun Yu said.

“Let’s take another group photo,” Shang Zhitao suggested.

That night, they took another group photo. Sun Yu took the photo and secretly compared it, her eyes turning red. She said to Shang Zhitao: “Look at him, he’s like a different person.”

“But the warmth in him is still there.” Shang Zhitao comforted her, though she also felt a bit sad.

After being away for 14 months, when she sat back in her office, it felt like a lifetime ago. She opened the drawer and saw the wish list for before she turned 30 under the folder. Almost everything had been accomplished, except for that one line still clean and clear: “I want a small house in Beijing.”

She looked at the paper for a long time. Years had passed, and the paper had become worn. She gently placed it back in the drawer.

“Flora, can you come to my office?” Josh asked her to talk. She replied: “Sure.”

She got up and went to Josh’s office.

Seeing Shang Zhitao enter, he pointed to the chair opposite his desk: “Sit.”

Shang Zhitao sat down, and Josh looked up from his computer: “Have you prepared the performance review document?”

“Not yet. The first phase of the project has just been completed, and I haven’t had time to write it.” Shang Zhitao sat upright as she always did. Josh, seeing her posture, said to her: “You don’t need to be so formal.”

“No, I’m always like this.”

“Mm.” Josh pushed the computer toward Shang Zhitao: “I’ve been looking at your work evaluations from the past few years and think you’re great. But you also have weaknesses.” Josh opened the grade ability model: “Have you compared yourself against it?”

“I have.”

“Have you analyzed yourself? What’s the conclusion?”

“I have. Creative ability is my weakness.”

Josh nodded: “So during the performance review, you need to know how to emphasize strengths and avoid weaknesses. Let me see your review report when you finish it; I’ll help you go through it several times.” Shang Zhitao wanted to ask if he would also help Yilia look at hers, but in the end, she didn’t. There was nothing to ask; an outstanding leader would appear to be impartial at this time.

“Thank you. I’ll send it to you as soon as I finish.”

“Don’t call me ‘you,’ call me Josh.”

“Alright, Josh.”

Shang Zhitao’s serious demeanor made Josh laugh: “No need to look like you’re facing a formidable enemy. I hope you succeed. I didn’t want to mention it at the dinner table that day, but everyone brought it up, so I had no choice. I hope you understand.”

“It’s alright, Josh.”

When Shang Zhitao left Josh’s office, she ran into Tracy, who smiled and asked her: “How’s it going?”

“What?”

“The performance review materials.”

“I haven’t started preparing yet.”

“Prepare well, Flora,” Tracy said to her: “I believe you can do it.”

“Thank you, Tracy.” Shang Zhitao believed Tracy’s wishes were sincere; she trusted her completely.

Back at her workstation, she saw Lumi had arrived. Seeing Shang Zhitao was back, Lumi pulled her to buy coffee together. Once the elevator doors closed, Lumi said to her: “Don’t be afraid of anything. Will is also on the review panel.”

“What?”

“This year’s channel reviewers are the department heads plus two experts. Tracy is also a reviewer. I’ve analyzed it for you: Will is the guy I’m sleeping with; if he dares to give you a low score, I’ll kill him; Tracy has been good to you from the beginning; Luke the stubborn mule should be fair; you have a good relationship with Grace. The variable is your new boss.”

Lumi seriously analyzed it for Shang Zhitao. She would rather be nothing herself for life than see Shang Zhitao lose. She just wanted Shang Zhitao to win against those people and reach a high position.

Shang Zhitao couldn’t express how much she loved Lumi, and could only say: “Coffee, my treat.”

Her mood that day was especially good, really, really good.

She called Sun Yuanzhu and Sun Yu, asking if they wanted to have dinner together. They both happily agreed.

Sun Yuanzhu even sent several restaurants in the group chat, saying: “How about these?”

They discussed restaurants and flavors in the group, and finally, Sun Yuanzhu said: “Forget it, let’s eat at home. Sun Yu’s cooking is delicious.”

“Then it’s settled. I won’t attend the management meeting this afternoon. I’ll pick up Taotao in a bit, then pick you up, and the three of us will go grocery shopping together.”

“Okay.” Sun Yuanzhu said, his mood seeming especially good.

Shang Zhitao secretly said to Sun Yu: “I think the treatment is working. Look at him now, he’s eating more, and he likes to talk more. The other night when the three of us came back from the movie, he even smiled several times!”

“Taotao, I’m so happy.”

“Me too.”

That day was just an ordinary day. They worked at their respective posts but were looking forward to going to the market together after work to buy groceries and cook at home. They had planned it all: Sun Yu would pick up Shang Zhitao, then the two of them would pick up Sun Yuanzhu, then they would go to the market to buy groceries, and finally go home to make a lavish meal.

Everything was perfectly planned. The weather was also perfect, clear autumn air, with a gentle breeze.

The evening clouds were particularly beautiful that day. Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu both took out their phones to take pictures. They even posted the clouds to the group chat, saying: “Look, a poetic dusk.”

They drove to Sun Yuanzhu’s company building, and Sun Yu called him, but he didn’t answer.

The area below the company building was surrounded by people, packed tightly. The two of them squeezed in and asked a young girl: “What’s happening? Is there an event?”

The girl, with tears in her eyes, said: “One of our colleagues jumped off the building.” The girl seemed terrified, not believing that such a thing could happen around her.

“How could someone living so well jump off a building?”

Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu pushed through the crowd. Sun Yu kept calling Sun Yuanzhu, but no one answered. They pushed to the innermost part of the crowd, stopped by the police line. They saw someone lying on the ground, covered with a white sheet.

Sun Yu still held the phone in her hand. She saw someone holding a phone approaching the police. The police took the phone and answered: “Hello.”

Sun Yu couldn’t hear clearly what the police said. Countless sounds exploded in her ears, creating an earth-shattering noise, cracking her ear bones. She looked at Shang Zhitao, not shedding a single tear, gripping Shang Zhitao’s hand tightly. Sun Yu saw Shang Zhitao’s gaze dim, finally turning to confusion.

She hung up the phone, her hand shaking badly, her teeth chattering, pleading with Shang Zhitao in a trembling voice: “Taotao, can you help me check if it’s him? Can you?”

“What? Who?”

“That person, can you help me check?”

Shang Zhitao closed her eyes and, after a long time, opened them again. She said: “Okay.”

The fifty-meter path felt like a lifetime. Shang Zhitao stumbled once and was steadied by a security guard who said: “Maybe it’s not him.”

Shang Zhitao was led to the body. The white cloth was lifted, revealing a bloodied face. Shang Zhitao closed her eyes, her mind filled with Sun Yuanzhu’s words: “I want to jump into the sea of clouds.”

I want to jump into the sea of clouds.

That evening’s sunset was especially beautiful, truly beautiful. Sun Yuanzhu died in a sunset with the sky full of red clouds, taking his gentleness with him. Even in death, he carried poetry.

People were discussing: “Such a promising young man, I wonder why he couldn’t think it through?”

“He was a young scientist from the autonomous driving department, a pillar of the nation, what a pity.”

“I wonder what troubled him so much.”

Everyone, everyone discussed this dead person with a normal attitude. Everyone treated life and death as an ordinary thing in the world. They didn’t know that the person who left was someone’s desperately loved one, someone’s best friend, someone extraordinary in this world.

Shang Zhitao finally broke down in tears.

She asked Sun Yu, “Do you want to take one more look? Do you want to say goodbye to him?”

Sun Yu shook her head: “No, I want to remember his clean face forever.” She had no expression from beginning to end.

Shang Zhitao couldn’t remember what happened later that day. She didn’t remember how she cried in front of everyone, didn’t remember how Sun Yu pulled her away, didn’t remember how they got back home.

Everything was hollow.

This warm home still had the bookshelf that Sun Yuanzhu personally built, the fence he made for Luke, the walls he painted, and the flowers he planted by hand.

I don’t know if you’ve ever lost your best friend, but I have. Shang Zhitao thought, that feeling was really too unreal. She and Sun Yu sat in the living room. The room was completely dark, with moonlight like water. Both stared at the door, always feeling that after a while, Sun Yuanzhu would open the door and walk in. He was so thin, yet so gentle, smiling at them saying: “I’m back.”

She suddenly couldn’t remember Sun Yuanzhu’s face, only a blank face with glasses on it.

“Do you still remember what he looked like?” she asked Sun Yu through tears.

Sun Yu didn’t speak. She got up and went to the kitchen to make noodles. She was too hungry; her stomach was empty and desperately needed to be filled with food.

She ate three bowls of noodles, filling her stomach to the brim. Shang Zhitao grabbed her chopsticks, crying and begging her: “Don’t be like this, Sun Yu.” Sun Yu picked up the bowl to drink the soup. Her stomach began to cramp. She seemed to suddenly understand why Sun Yuanzhu didn’t like to eat. She put down the bowl and walked into the bedroom, closing the door.

Shang Zhitao sat in the room all night unable to close her eyes. At dawn, she suddenly remembered what Sun Yuanzhu looked like. It was on a rainy morning when they walked together to the bus stop. He said to her: “My name is Sun Yuanzhu.”

She said: “Is it the ‘Yuan Zhu’ from ‘Bold ambitions roam the four seas, spread wings thinking of distant flight’?”

The last line of “Bold ambitions roam the four seas, spread wings thinking of distant flight” is “The ancients treasured every moment, thinking of this makes one fearful.”

This should have been a good day, but it became the worst day of their lives.

The next evening, Sun Yuanzhu’s father and sister came to collect his belongings. His sister looked so beautiful, her expression very much like his. There were four people in the room, yet no one spoke. Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu stood at the door watching Sun Yuanzhu’s relatives sort through his belongings. They lifted his bed, underneath which was also filled with books and a small box. The old man opened it and saw the box filled with various items. The box was labeled: For Yu and Tao.

They took the box, and Sun Yu saw those small items she had given Sun Yuanzhu over the years: a comb, a piece of jade, a fountain pen, and a letter. Sun Yu had hidden all her tenderness since adulthood in these gifts. Opening the letter, she saw Sun Yuanzhu had added a line at the end:

I will watch you from beyond this world as you love, marry, have children, live a joyful life, and never suffer.

There was also a small figure carved from a peach pit, the one Shang Zhitao had tied to the branch.

In this dusty world, there are travelers and there are returning ones.

These gifts were all from Sun Yuanzhu’s gentleness over the long years. From now on, they could only repay him with the wind.

It was on a night, Shang Zhitao’s seventh consecutive sleepless night, Sun Yu’s seventh day of only sleeping and eating. She lay in bed and heard a sound in the living room. Following the sound, she saw Sun Yu standing in the living room crying. She turned to look at Shang Zhitao, tears pouring: “It’s been seven days, he’s not coming back.”

Shang Zhitao hugged Sun Yu, tightly holding her last bit of soul.

“I won’t fall in love, get married, or have children. If I do that, he won’t be watching me anymore.”

“I wish in the next life I could meet him when I’m seventeen. I would give him all my love from youth to old age.”

“I wish all those ‘I love you’s I said to him would become lights on his path, illuminating the road beneath his feet.”

“I hope he will never suffer again.”

In life’s darkest moment, I want to light an eternal lamp for my loved one, accompanying you all the way to the end of the road, sending you to the clouds where you want to go. From now on, I am in the mortal world, and you are in the clouds, and also in my heart.

May you live a long life.