Shang Zhitao’s hand was still gripping his wrist, her palm damp. After hearing what Luan Nian said, she remained silent for a few seconds, then released her grip.

She felt humiliated.

Shang Zhitao couldn’t understand why it seemed they could never get close. The atmosphere just now had been so good; her heart was warm, and she wanted to embrace him, to tell him many, many things. But with just one sentence, he destroyed everything.

Luan Nian pulled out a tissue to wipe his hands, then got out of the car, walked quite far to the grass, unscrewed a bottle cap, and poured water to wash his hands. Watching him, Shang Zhitao suddenly felt that this adventure journey wasn’t that great.

Luan Nian had never doubted that Shang Zhitao loved him, but he minded her wavering. He was never a perfect man; in this relationship, he possessed extremely strong possessiveness.

He sat back in the car. There was an eerie silence inside, so quiet that both could hear each other’s heartbeats.

Shang Zhitao didn’t want to argue. She just sat there for a few minutes, letting herself dispel that feeling of sadness, then cleared her throat and said to him, “Shall we go?”

Luan Nian responded with a hum, his eyes fixed outside the window.

Shang Zhitao increased the speed; the car raced along the highway. She didn’t say another word. They arrived only fifteen minutes later than the other car. When parking, Luan Nian said, “The Northwest is good for practicing driving skills.”

“It’s fine,” Shang Zhitao replied briefly, quickly getting out of the car, escaping that suffocating feeling when they were together.

The place they had chosen was a local specialty restaurant. The local colleagues had all arrived, eight or nine people inside and out. As the project manager, Shang Zhitao was their temporary leader.

Everyone sat around the table. Luan Nian looked at everyone, barely able to recall their names.

Shang Zhitao felt this opportunity was rare, so she suggested, “It’s not easy for Luke and Yilia to come here. Could everyone introduce themselves? Talk about your basic information and the projects you’ve worked on?” She was giving everyone an opportunity.

Shang Zhitao was approachable and had already gotten along well with everyone during her time there: “Shall we start with Shelly?”

The Northwest branch colleagues were mostly locals. Northwest people are bold and uninhibited. During their introductions, they were very interesting—the female colleagues spunky, the male colleagues generous. Luan Nian could see they all respected Shang Zhitao.

Luan Nian listened attentively to everyone speaking, occasionally asking about business difficulties they’d encountered, and even inquiring whether company benefits were properly implemented locally. These were all issues everyone cared about, so they all found Luke credible.

After everyone’s introductions, Shang Zhitao said to Luan Nian, “The government leaders here don’t really like calling everyone by English names.”

“Alright, I remember the Chinese names. My memory is good, Zhitao.” He called her Zhitao, seeming very natural, then asked, “Is this way of addressing you okay, Flora?”

“Fine, Luke.”

Both were very calm, as if they’d forgotten what happened in the car. Luan Nian hadn’t said much in the car; one sentence from him could destroy the entire atmosphere. But Shang Zhitao was used to it.

It seemed she would never have such an opportunity—dressed beautifully, sitting with Luan Nian in a Western restaurant, smiling as she spoke while he focused on her. Regardless of the scenario, she never had such moments. With him, everything was always chaotic.

After the gathering, Shang Zhitao took Luan Nian and Song Ying to the local office. Shang Zhitao had an independent office—not large, but with good sunlight. She had bought several potted flowers to avoid monotony, a wooden desk and chairs, all very clean and tidy.

Song Ying looked around and praised, “Flora’s office truly exemplifies minimalism.”

“Thank you. The budget is limited, so it can only be simple.”

After settling both of them in their seats, Shang Zhitao took out her computer to go over tomorrow’s meeting schedule with them. Government leaders are very attentive to rhythm and process during meetings, basically never disrupting the flow, and each meeting is very formal. Yilia had never dealt with the government before, so this was specifically meant for her.

Shang Zhitao didn’t want to avoid teaching her just because Yilia was more talented. She hoped she could quickly grasp the situation, not hinder the project, and also hoped she could grow rapidly.

Yilia listened attentively and asked, “What about the timing to speak up? What about proactive expression?”

“The timing depends on the situation, but tomorrow I want to hear more from the client first. At the project initiation stage, I hope to ensure the direction is correct. If the direction is wrong, everything fails.” Shang Zhitao revealed her approach and strategy.

Yilia nodded, “Okay, my main purpose tomorrow is to learn. I also want to understand the client’s true demands.”

“Good, thank you for your hard work, Yilia.” Shang Zhitao then began introducing the backgrounds, preferences, and habits of the government leaders participating tomorrow, mainly for Luan Nian’s benefit. Luan Nian hardly spoke, just quietly listening to Shang Zhitao.

Also on this day, Luan Nian discovered Shang Zhitao’s management talents. Her thinking was open; she was willing to share and wouldn’t deliberately guard against people; she actively listened to opinions and suggestions, proactively sought cooperation, and had a strong sense of purpose; she was approachable, easily bonding with the team, and because of her perpetual humility, she could more easily understand her subordinates’ inner thoughts. How long had she been in the Northwest? Yet the project team already trusted her so much—that wasn’t easy. Some team members had been dealing with the local government for a long time, were ten or more years older than her, but were still willing to listen to her.

Shang Zhitao might become an excellent manager.

On the way to the hotel, Song Ying said to Luan Nian, “We didn’t interact much at the company, but after nearly a full day today, I find Flora quite impressive.”

“In what way?”

“Understanding people, employing them effectively, management, interpersonal skills—she’s thorough in everything. She makes me feel comfortable.” Song Ying’s praise for Shang Zhitao was 80% genuine, 20% due to her caution in a new environment. You never know what kind of background people have with each other, so Song Ying was very careful.

Song Ying wasn’t as confident as everyone perceived. She liked competition but feared failure, craved recognition from authority figures, and also liked being liked by everyone. Everyone has weaknesses.

When getting out of the car, Luan Nian asked Shelly, “Would it be convenient to leave the car? I’d like to go out for a walk tonight.”

“Sure.”

The county town was small. Luan Nian didn’t want to cause trouble for Shang Zhitao. He set off around ten at night, going to her home in this county. This time there should be no Sun Yuanzhu.

When Shang Zhitao opened the door, she was a bit surprised, standing in the doorway, just looking at him.

“What? Someone there? Not convenient for me to come in?” Luan Nian had his hands in his pockets. He wasn’t doing anything, but he just looked arrogant.

Shang Zhitao stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. Luan Nian stood at the entrance, watching Shang Zhitao take out a brand new pair of slippers and place them in front of him: “I bought the texture you like.”

“Hmm, thank you.”

Shang Zhitao’s home in the Northwest didn’t seem small in video calls, but being there made one realize how small it was. Luan Nian was tall; sitting on the sofa, he seemed to take up a lot of space.

Shang Zhitao was in the kitchen boiling water for him. She poked her head out and asked, “I only have goji berries here. Can I make you goji berry tea?”

“Just water.”

Shang Zhitao wrinkled her nose: “Goji berry tea tastes so good.”

“I don’t like the taste of goji berries.”

“Oh.” Shang Zhitao took a sip of her goji berry water, then used another cup to pour hot water for Luan Nian. He took a sip and put the cup aside. Seeing him look down at his phone without speaking, she asked, “Are you unhappy?”

“Can you tell?”

“…Yes.” Shang Zhitao sought reconciliation. In the car, he’d said he didn’t miss her, which she thought was false. Luan Nian was stubborn. Shang Zhitao’s innate ability to dissolve negative emotions worked once again as she smiled and asked him, “Why is that?”

“Probably because my girlfriend’s place is too small. How about I transfer you back? Send someone else.” Luan Nian didn’t like Shang Zhitao being here.

“Why?”

“What’s so good about the Northwest? You’re in unfamiliar territory here.”

“I’m not going back.” Shang Zhitao directly refused him, showing rare firmness and persistence in front of Luan Nian.

Shang Zhitao thought, everyone should have their place and value. She didn’t have remarkable talent, but she had project management abilities developed through practice. She wanted to do this project because it could prove her capability.

Shang Zhitao knew that in this cruel society, some gaps between people might never be bridged, but she was willing to be her scenery, shine her light. She didn’t want to compare Luan Nian with anyone else’s boyfriend, nor compare herself with others. Where in this world is there a perfect lover? It’s just that everyone must go through long-term cultivation.

Despite the adventurous journey, she still approached it with enthusiasm. Even knowing the journey’s end might not be perfect happiness, she wouldn’t regret it when looking back someday.

She sat across from Luan Nian, showing unprecedented persistence. Or perhaps she had always been this persistent, just without realizing it herself.

“I don’t know why you always want me to go back. I want to know if you’re asking me to return as my boyfriend or as my boss?”

“If your boyfriend, I want to tell you I won’t go back. I hope you respect my choice. I like this project, I like it here.”

“If as my boss, I would go back. But I don’t know when I’ll encounter such an opportunity again. Maybe I’ll just remain mediocre forever. You’ve seen it too—I no longer have the advantage of youth, and the newcomers…” Shang Zhitao paused: “The newcomers are increasingly outstanding.”

“My golden age is almost over, Luan Nian. After thirty or forty, I might live better, but we must admit that when I’m young, I pay a smaller price. This is my best chance to change the status quo. I don’t want to give it up.”

Shang Zhitao had rarely been so candid with Luan Nian before. She used to be unwilling to reveal her thoughts because she knew Luan Nian could hardly empathize with her. He might better understand a genius’s disappointment, but couldn’t understand her worries.

Luan Nian hadn’t spoken for a long time. That cup of hot water had gone from scalding to room temperature, consuming time. He asked Shang Zhitao, “What are you afraid of?”

“You said so much. Tell me what you’re afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything.”

Luan Nian suddenly smiled: “Shang Zhitao, although you won’t admit it, you’re feeling inferior. You seek a track with fewer people and hope to succeed through it. If this isn’t inferiority, what is? Confident people go to crowded tracks to race, firmly believing they won’t lose.”

“Every path needs people to walk it, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose? But some paths, people just don’t care to walk.” Luan Nian looked at Shang Zhitao; he knew her stubbornness all too well: “You have your definition of success and life practice. I won’t interfere with your choices. You like it here, so stay here. I won’t force you to go back. After all, I’m not idle every day either. We are two independent individuals, both with the right to choose the life we want.” Luan Nian stood up: “Maybe I’ve talked too much today. What I want to say can be summed up in three words: ‘up to you.’ Up to you, Shang Zhitao.”

Luan Nian thought, Shang Zhitao’s insistence on staying in the Northwest was indeed, as she said, because this project could let her see her value. But what made her feel secure about the Northwest was that the person who could give her security was also here.

Luan Nian saw through people and situations with remarkable clarity. He had previously recognized Shang Zhitao’s wavering. But he disdained arguing with her; it was meaningless.

He stood up to leave. Shang Zhitao grabbed his hand and said, “Luan Nian, don’t be like this. Can you listen to me finish?” Shang Zhitao wanted to tell Luan Nian about her issues, about her anxiety. She was so anxious her eyes turned slightly red.

“Say what? Talk about how you were in the arms of another man downstairs at night, crying?” Luan Nian looked at Shang Zhitao: “You’re something. I open my home to you, yet you spend time alone with another man late at night. You’re quite amusing, you know? On one hand, you say you want to love me; on the other, you keep seeking the next one. Do you think your charm has reached the point where you can juggle multiple men?”

“What do you mean?” Shang Zhitao asked him, “What do you mean by crying in someone’s arms?”

Luan Nian pressed his lips tightly, no longer speaking, just looking faintly at Shang Zhitao, with disgust in his eyes that even he hadn’t noticed.

Shang Zhitao didn’t want to expose Sun Yuanzhu’s wounds to Luan Nian. Grace had sent her photos of Luan Nian and Song Ying, and Lumi had told her things about Song Ying, but she never asked about any of it. Because she felt that even though they were dating, they should still maintain personal independence.

She took out her phone, found that photo of him having dinner with Song Ying, and softly asked, “Luan Nian, have I ever asked you why you’re dining with another woman? No. Have I ever asked you about the rumors about you two in the company? No. Do you know why I don’t ask? Because I trust you. Because I feel that even though we’re dating, we should maintain independent social circles and comfort zones. Isn’t that what you taught me before? How is it that today, when I comfort a friend of mine, you put such a big label on it! Do we have to avoid interacting with any member of the opposite sex just because we’re together?”

Luan Nian looked at the photo, then at Shang Zhitao: “You’re right not to ask. Do you know what the answer would be if you asked?”

“You can tell me the answer now.”

“The truth might be hurtful, but the answer is that I admire her, I’m willing to work with her, and even if we have dinner after work, I don’t feel it’s a waste of time.”

Shang Zhitao was quiet for a long time. This answer was something she had known before. She knew Luan Nian too well. For the past five years, she had been watching him, observing him, trying to understand his heart and emotions at all times.

“I know. Your admiration for her is obvious. You’re just that kind of person. I’ve never been jealous. I also ask you to rationally view my relationship with Sun Yuanzhu. After all, during many difficult moments in life, the people who were by my side helping me, most of the time, were him, Sun Yu, and Lumi. I hope you understand that no matter how much I love you, I won’t give up my friends for you. I also won’t ask you not to work with Song Ying.”

“Well put, this equivalent exchange condition. I hope you remember to abide by it.” Luan Nian turned and left.

Shang Zhitao didn’t try to stop him. They were both just telling the truth, but often the truth is the hardest to accept. This made her feel utterly foolish.

But she still walked Luan Nian downstairs, earnestly reminding him, “The meeting starts tomorrow morning at 8:30. Government leaders start work early.”

“Okay.”

Shang Zhitao grabbed his wrist and said softly, “Luan Nian, I know you’re angry. So am I. I also know we both need to calm down, after all, neither of us has done anything wrong. Drive carefully, and let me know when you reach the hotel, okay?”

Luan Nian went straight downstairs without looking back. Driving back to the hotel, he saw Song Ying standing in the lobby: “What’s wrong, Yilia?”

“I’m looking at the map hanging here in the hotel.” Song Ying studied the map: “Look, what does this winding ravine resemble?”

“Like a dragon’s spine.” Before Luan Nian could answer, she said this herself: “I’m on this dragon’s spine. What kind of article can we write about this? What cultural and tourism foundation does the client want? I think I have the answer.”

Looking forward to your answer tomorrow. Good luck.”

Luan Nian returned to his room and saw Shang Zhitao’s profile picture sitting quietly. She hadn’t said anything. This wasn’t the reunion he had expected. In three days, he had come to this place twice, traveling nearly ten thousand kilometers in total. They should have talked about other things, like what tastes good here, what scenery is beautiful, or just cuddling together in her small place for a while. Instead, what did they talk about? They talked about how they can openly interact with the opposite sex, and that they should trust each other.

This was so damn absurd!

“Luan Nian, how did you know Sun Yuanzhu was crying? You came, didn’t you?” It was nearly two in the morning when Shang Zhitao messaged him.

Luan Nian didn’t reply. He saw Shang Zhitao typing for a long time before sending just a few words: “I want to know why you came?”

“I want to know why you cried that day?”

“Sun Yuanzhu seems to be sick. His relative passed away. He’s emotionally unstable and can’t eat. I felt very sad. He’s a very, very good friend, Luan Nian. I don’t want you to misunderstand him, misunderstand us.”

“Hmm. I understand.”

“So you did come that day, right? Why did you come?”

“Because suddenly I missed you very much.”