Li Rong fell silent. After a moment, she said in a low voice, “I know.”

Then she continued slowly, “I’m very clear about my situation.”

Li Ming doted on Consort Rou’s son and was wary of Li Chuan, whose political views differed from his own. He had long harbored thoughts of deposing the crown prince. She was caught in the middle. Deposing the crown prince wouldn’t be easy, but dealing with a princess was extremely simple.

The Su family was currently a prestigious clan at court. Su Rongqing was not someone she could aspire to. Moreover, she was merely teasing Pei Wenxuan—she had never truly harbored such aspirations anyway.

She was rarely this quiet. Pei Wenxuan couldn’t help but glance at her. Seeing her downcast expression, he knew she was thinking about her own situation. He hesitated for a moment, wondering whether he should speak, but after thinking it over, he ultimately remained silent.

Things had already reached this point. Li Rong was a smart person. She would think through her own path herself.

The two ate their fish quietly, then each went to sleep, tacitly avoiding any mention of marriage matters.

Pei Wenxuan leaned against the small hill. After closing his eyes and dozing for a while, he found it difficult to fall asleep. He opened his eyes again and looked toward Li Rong’s back in the distance.

The night wind brought him rare clarity, finally giving him time to process what had happened that day.

He had never expected that Li Rong had also been reborn.

Originally he had thought that in this life, like the last one, he would marry Li Rong, stop caring about Qin Zhenzhen, and live a good life with Li Rong. But now it seemed this idea probably wouldn’t work.

The fifty-year-old Li Rong was completely different from the twenty-year-old one. She was cunning and fierce, like a thorn-covered bramble branch that would whip anyone she caught.

Most importantly, the fifty-year-old Li Rong had Su Rongqing in her heart.

That man had spent twenty-five years with her, even killed her. Perhaps betrayal would make Li Rong hate him, but love and hate often coexisted. The deep feelings and thick bond between them—he couldn’t insert himself into it, nor could he tolerate it.

He didn’t want his wife’s heart to hold another man, as it did with the twenty-year-old Li Rong.

But if he couldn’t tolerate it, what could he do? Li Rong had no choice, but did he have one either?

Pei Wenxuan couldn’t help but smile bitterly. When he looked up, he saw Li Rong’s back facing him. She looked extremely thin and frail, curled up with her body facing away from him, hugging herself. When the cold wind blew past, she shivered slightly. Seeing this, Pei Wenxuan hesitated. After a long time, he still stood up, went to the side to pick up his outer coat that he had taken off, covered Li Rong with it, then returned to the fire and closed his eyes.

Li Rong felt the coat being placed over her. She kept her eyes closed and didn’t speak. After pulling the coat over herself for a moment, she thought about how basically all of Pei Wenxuan’s clothes were now here.

She hesitated for a moment, then finally spoke, calling to him, “Pei Wenxuan.”

“Shut up and sleep.”

Pei Wenxuan spoke very decisively.

Li Rong fell silent.

After a while, Li Rong still felt somewhat guilty in her conscience and said directly, “Come over here. Let’s sleep together.”

This time it was Pei Wenxuan’s turn to be silent.

Seeing him ignore her, Li Rong felt she had done her utmost duty. She simply pulled the coat over herself and closed her eyes.

After a short while, she heard rustling sounds from behind her. Then Pei Wenxuan squeezed over. Li Rong shared half the coat with him. She was small, and lying on her side, half a coat was enough for her. Pei Wenxuan was behind her, draping the remaining half over himself.

Pei Wenxuan had his back to her, separated by about a hand’s width. The cold wind kept blowing in. Pei Wenxuan didn’t move. After enduring it for a while, Li Rong simply leaned back, pressing her back against his.

Pei Wenxuan’s body stiffened.

When counted up, though he was also in his fifties, his experience with matters between men and women could be described as pitifully scarce.

He and Li Rong were husband and wife. After Li Rong separated from him later, throughout all those long years, there had never been another person.

He still had some principles about this matter in his heart. With Li Rong, it was responsibility. Of course, thinking back later, perhaps the moment Li Rong lifted her wedding veil, his youthful self had felt some stirring of the heart—he just hadn’t come around to it yet. As for anyone besides Li Rong, he always thought there should be some feelings involved. But in those thirty years of life, perhaps too focused on court affairs, he truly hadn’t encountered anyone who really moved his heart.

People had occasionally sent him beauties. Even Li Chuan, seeing he had no sons, felt rather apologetic and hinted that even though he married the princess, he could consider taking concubines. It wasn’t that he hadn’t considered it. Each time those delicate beauties stood before him, he always felt something was missing.

After so many years had passed, when the young and pretty Li Rong leaned against his back, he couldn’t help but feel as nervous as a youth first encountering a woman.

Li Rong noticed his tension and couldn’t help finding it somewhat amusing, yet also a bit pitiful.

Unable to bear Pei Wenxuan’s embarrassment, she started a conversation, “Is there anything you regret from the last life?”

“Why ask this?”

“Just asking casually,” Li Rong laughed. “We two can be considered to have had a strange encounter, being able to redo past events from the beginning. Shouldn’t we think about what regrets we had in the past and see if we can change them in this life?”

Pei Wenxuan fell silent. Seeing him not speak, Li Rong changed the topic, “Speaking of which, do you want to go find Qin Zhenzhen?”

“I don’t know.”

Pei Wenxuan knew Li Rong was making conversation and didn’t resist, saying plainly, “We’ll talk about it later.”

Right now he didn’t know what the future held.

Originally he had thought of marrying Li Rong like before, then living a new life. However, now that Li Rong had been reborn, it disrupted his plans.

If he didn’t marry Li Rong, then his life would be lived another way entirely. As for Qin Zhenzhen…

For a moment he actually didn’t know how to continue thinking about it.

Qin Zhenzhen had died too early, too long ago. He didn’t even have time to sort out his feelings for her before this person gracefully departed. He had never possessed this person, so she became like moonlight, forever shining in the high sky, making people gaze up at her from afar.

When gazing at the bright moon for too long, it became difficult to develop a desire to pursue it. Suddenly being told he could try reaching out to pluck back the moon made it feel somewhat unbelievable.

Li Rong knew his heart was uncertain and sighed, “But I advise you, if you’re going to manage it, do it early. The palace isn’t suitable for her. Don’t let her enter the palace.”

“I know.”

Pei Wenxuan understood Li Rong was saying these words sincerely. After pausing for a moment, he said slowly, “You rarely say such kind words.”

“You’re funny,” Li Rong leaned against Pei Wenxuan’s back and smiled bitterly. “I say kind words, yet you don’t seem to like hearing them.”

“That’s not it.” Pei Wenxuan said indifferently, “I’m just not used to it.”

“I didn’t really want to say these words either,” Li Rong spoke slowly. “However, I’m someone with clear gratitude and grievances. You came to save me. Though you ended up causing trouble, I still accept this sentiment.”

“Pei Wenxuan,” Li Rong continued slowly, “regardless of whether we end up getting married, I hope that in this life, we won’t become enemies.”

“Mm.”

Pei Wenxuan responded in a low voice.

Li Rong felt Pei Wenxuan’s body relax, knowing this conversation had resolved his embarrassment. She waited a while longer.

This was their most amicable, closest moment. She thought that if she wanted to discuss marriage, now would be most appropriate.

However, Pei Wenxuan remained silent for a long time. Li Rong knew that right now, Pei Wenxuan must be hesitant about this matter. She didn’t press him and instead began thinking about how to handle things tomorrow.

The two people in the darkness each harbored their own thoughts. Li Rong thought about the future, while Pei Wenxuan thought about the past.

Li Rong’s words still echoed in his ears. She had asked him what he regretted.

This was a question he didn’t dare answer.

Because most of his life had been spent in regret. If he had to name his greatest regrets in this life, the first was letting Qin Zhenzhen enter the palace, and the second was arguing with Li Rong over Qin Zhenzhen.

He first regretted this matter not long after they had their quarrel. During that period they slept in separate beds. Every night, separated by a screen, he would look at Li Rong, who seemed both close at hand yet far away, and feel uncomfortable just looking at her.

He wanted to go speak kind words to her but couldn’t bring himself to do it, nor did he know what to say. On one hand, he felt that Li Rong was actually right—he had Qin Zhenzhen in his heart, so he shouldn’t provoke her. On the other hand, he vaguely felt uncomfortable about something, though he didn’t know what exactly made him uncomfortable.

That day, news suddenly came from the palace saying Li Rong had angered His Majesty and was being punished to kneel at the palace gate.

He was still at home at the time. Upon receiving the news, he rushed over. He remembered it was pouring rain that day, the rain so heavy you couldn’t see the road clearly. When he arrived holding an umbrella, he saw Li Rong kneeling at the palace gate while Su Rongqing stood beside her, holding an umbrella to shield her from wind and rain.

The two of them, one kneeling and one standing under that single umbrella, seemed to form an independent world.

In that moment, he suddenly understood Li Rong’s feelings. He suddenly realized that between a married couple, whether they loved each other or not, whether they had feelings or not, they would never allow anyone to intrude into their lives.

But he didn’t dare think deeply about that feeling. He just covered up and concealed this discomfort, pretending nothing existed.

Only when he looked back in old age did he vaguely understand that at that time, he must have cared about Li Rong to some degree. But Qin Zhenzhen was a barrier in his heart. He found it too difficult to accept that he had liked one person, then transferred his affections to like another.

Most importantly, in matters of emotion, he was too cowardly. He needed stable feelings—either clearly making him give up hope, like with Qin Zhenzhen, where he clearly knew this person wouldn’t like him, so he could be one-sidedly devoted with peace of mind; or clearly giving him reassurance, letting him know that he liked someone who liked him back.

What he feared most was someone like Li Rong—sometimes making him feel she perhaps also cared about him, but in an instant making him feel he meant nothing in her eyes.

This made him afraid to like her. And Li Rong was also decisive. Knowing he cared about Qin Zhenzhen, she immediately withdrew—from separate beds to separate rooms to separate residences.

She gave him no room at all.

She not only distanced herself from him, but seemed to hate him. Any gesture of goodwill he made, she disapproved of and trampled on. When he got angry, they would quarrel, over and over again.

So he could only keep walking down the path he insisted on.

He could only keep telling himself that Qin Zhenzhen was very important, and since he had already made an agreement with Li Rong, he should persist.

Just like a gambler who had staked too large a bet—he could only keep gambling, unable to turn back.

Until the Su family was destroyed and Su Rongqing imprisoned. He heard that Li Rong had gone to plead with Li Chuan, even contradicting him in court, and was flogged by Li Chuan.

He rushed into the palace urgently and saw Li Rong lying on the ground covered in blood. When she saw him arrive, she still used her hands with their red-lacquered nails to clutch at him desperately, saying in a hoarse voice, “Pei Wenxuan, I must save Su Rongqing.”

He couldn’t describe the feeling at that moment. In an instant, his heart felt like a piece had been gouged out. This intense pain finally made him wake up and realize with utmost clarity—

He finally regretted it.