“You were about to enter government service—why did you suddenly turn to join the military?”

When Ni Su asked this question, her heart was suddenly enveloped by a strange feeling. Between her and this person lay a distance of sixteen years. When he had achieved fame at a young age and was full of vigor, she had just been born. In another year or two, he was already notorious and mired in disgrace. Yet today, she was conversing with him beyond life and death, beyond rumors.

“I lost my father in childhood, and my elder brother was busy with Court of Judicial Review affairs, so it was mostly my mother and sister-in-law who guided me. Mother was learned and skilled in painting. When Father was alive, she had also accompanied the army at his side. My impression of Father is not deep—most of what I know, Mother told me. The year I turned thirteen, Mother fell gravely ill and passed away. Before dying, she gripped my hand tightly. Apart from calling Father’s name, she kept repeating the two words ‘what a pity.'”

After Ni Su’s teacher Zhang Jing had died under torture, on her journey to Yongzhou she had continuously tried to find traces of him on paper.

She knew his mother’s surname was Zhou, given name Jin, born into a great clan. She had grown up among paper and ink from childhood, studied under Xu Xian’s uncle, and possessed extraordinarily divine skill in painting. She and Xu Xian had treated each other with mutual respect, from peaceful years through times of war, understanding and supporting each other. During her time accompanying the army, she had exhausted her mind and energy, relying on her own legs and eyes to survey the mountains and rivers of the border regions, drawing more precise military maps for wartime use.

For this, she had nearly died under the golden blades of the barbarians.

“After Mother passed, I resolved to return her ashes to Qingya Province to be buried with Father,” Xu Hexue searched through his sparse memories as much as possible, lifting his eyes to look at her. “That was the first time I returned to Qingya Province since I was seven. The farther north I went, the more bones were exposed in the wilderness, with no cock’s crow for a thousand miles. At that time, I kept thinking about Mother’s dying words of ‘what a pity.'”

“My elder brother was frail and sickly, yet fond of legal studies. After he became Junior Minister of the Court of Judicial Review, he exhausted his energy revising the ‘Qi Code.’ The year I turned fourteen, Qingya Province fell. He fell ill from worry and grief and never recovered. On the eve of my entering government service, he departed this world. I remember that night, I stayed before my brother’s spirit for a long time. I asked myself whether these hands should hold a brush or hold a sword.”

Xu Hexue spread his palm. The candle flame leaped, warm light and shadow spreading across his hand. “I still couldn’t let go of Mother’s ‘what a pity.’ I wanted to personally reclaim the northern territory from the Danqiu barbarians, reclaim Qingya Province, inherit Father’s will—hold a brush in peaceful years, grasp a sword amid wind and rain.”

Hold a brush in peaceful years, grasp a sword amid wind and rain.

Ni Su was suddenly stunned, her heart unable not to be moved by this.

Since the founding of Great Qi, civil matters had been valued over military, and all the scholars under heaven aspired to enter government service as civil officials. They were like a surging flood, while Xu Hexue was a heretic swimming against the current.

Abandoning the brilliant prospects of Yunjing, throwing himself into the border’s Huning Army to start as an ordinary soldier—he went completely against the expectations of his teacher Zhang Jing. Fourteen years old, one person, through wind and rain.

“Fortunately my sister-in-law did not stop me, and Minister Meng also persuaded my teacher to let me go. I have never regretted that choice, only toward my teacher do I feel guilt in my heart.”

When Xu Hexue spoke of past events, his expression seemed to become somewhat more animated. “So Ni Su, you shouldn’t feel sad about not being able to collect my belongings. Even my remains are actually unimportant. In the countryside too there are bones of those frozen to death; on battlefields corpses support each other in resistance. No one ever collected their remains. Among them, I am not pitiable either.”

His words were calm, but recalling how she had held his broken spear tightly on horseback last night even in sleep, he found it difficult to describe the feeling in his heart. He couldn’t help but add: “But you made me feel very happy.”

Because she wanted to collect his remains for him.

And also because he had gained her trust.

This was more important than anything.

“I’ve always wanted very much to make you happy.”

Her voice fell upon him.

Xu Hexue lifted his eyes slightly. She was wrapped in a thick cotton quilt, only half her face showing. Those eyes were clear, bright, and moving. He said nothing, his calm brows and eyes rippling faintly.

“Still not sleepy?”

He said.

Ni Su shook her head. “Let’s talk a while longer.”

Xu Hexue placed both hands on his knees, pressing and massaging imperceptibly to ease the severe pain. His face still showed cold, desolate expression as he asked: “What else do you want to hear?”

The sound of the candle flame crackling rang out several times. Ni Su simply pulled the quilt open a bit, revealing her whole face, and moved closer to the edge of the bed. “Your princess sister-in-law must also be a very good person, right?”

“Yes. My brother was twelve years my senior, and sister-in-law likewise. When brother was busy with affairs, she helped Mother discipline me, and she personally sent me to study under my teacher.”

Tonight the moonlight was too intense. Yongzhou’s window paper was very thick, but even so, pale moonlight fell through the lattice window. Xu Hexue recalled that night in Yunjing when he and the young woman before him had fallen from the eaves into someone’s courtyard. Though he couldn’t see, he could smell the fragrance of roses everywhere.

Sister-in-law loved roses, so brother had personally tended many roses in the Princess’s mansion. Xu Hexue had grown accustomed to that scent from childhood and had not forgotten it even now.

“No wonder.”

Ni Su finally understood how a person like him—who had suffered torture and injustice while alive, and had no one to make offerings after death—could still maintain a bright heart and tell her that among the floating corpses and starving dead of this world, he was not pitiable.

He had grown up under the care of his mother Zhou Jin and his sister-in-law Princess Wenduan, so he had never looked down on women’s aspirations, never looked down on women’s lives. Even if it meant offending the Yongzhou clans, he dared to use forceful methods to break this place’s vile customs targeting women.

The human world was like a flood, yet he never feared swimming against the current. Abandoning the brush, taking up the sword, from the splendid Yunjing to the blood-soaked battlefield—he was a gentleman among scholars, a brave warrior among gentlemen.

Unity of knowledge and action, brightness to the utmost.

Ni Su’s hand secretly emerged from under the quilt and pinched the edge of his sleeve. “Then when you were alive at the border, what did you do when you weren’t fighting?”

She didn’t know why, but she always wanted to hold onto him like this.

Xu Hexue’s expression was bland, but he seemed to be thinking seriously. After a while, he said, “Drinking with others, or perhaps, competing in skills, riding horses and drawing bows, sometimes also bathing my horse…”

His expression clearly warmed somewhat, yet he told her, “It seems there was nothing particularly special.”

“But I think it sounds very good,” Ni Su said. “At that time, you must have loved to laugh.”

Xu Hexue looked at her. “That I don’t remember.”

“Then when you won victories, how did you celebrate?”

“Just those things I mentioned earlier, but my deputy general was very good at teasing people. He often had the men under him work together to lift me up when I was drunk and toss me in the air.”

Ni Su couldn’t help but laugh. “Was that the lord called Xue Huai?”

“Mm.”

His expression relaxed even more.

“We can also go horseback riding.”

Ni Su said while yawning.

Xu Hexue saw a moist mist appear in her eyes. “After you wake up.”

He very much liked hearing her say “we.”

“After I fall asleep, what will you do?” Her voice became very small.

He was long ago no longer flesh and blood, would not want to sleep like people do. The long nights and days were all torment.

“Nothing, just stay here.”

He would wait for her to wake.

Letting her hold his sleeve like this, thus satisfying that hidden little desire in his heart—just waiting for her like this, he also felt it was very good.

His calm voice made Ni Su’s heart feel at peace. On this entire journey from Yunjing to Yongzhou, only after he returned could she truly sleep soundly.

Her eyes closed, her breathing gradually becoming even.

Xu Hexue looked at her face. The pain in both knees almost made it difficult for him to walk. This was the price of forcibly crossing the River of Hatred and returning to the mortal world. Earth Elder would not help him too much, nor would he greedily seek more.

Supporting himself on the edge of the bed with one hand, he rose with difficulty, took the medicine for injuries from the table, applied it to his fingertips, and with extremely light movements spread it on the injury on Ni Su’s forehead.

She had become thinner again, yet Qingqiong under her care had grown much fatter, no longer skin and bones as before.

Xu Hexue also applied medicine to the scrapes on her palms, then set the medicine bottle aside. In the room full of candle flames bright for his sake, he kept vigil sitting withered at the bedside, until his form could no longer be maintained and once again scattered into luminous white light, falling into the medicine basket in the crook of her arm.

Ni Su slept until dawn. The room’s candles had burned out. The moment she opened her eyes, she saw the luminous white light ball floating in the medicine basket she held in her arms, sometimes like a cat, sometimes like a fox.

Ni Su touched its tail with her finger. It immediately pressed against her and circled around her finger.

She couldn’t help but curve her lips.

Today Ni Su felt much better, so she got out of bed to dress her hair and put on clothes. Yongzhou’s weather was dry. After washing her face, she needed to use some balm, otherwise her face would sting painfully.

Normally, Qingqiong would have come over early, but today was somewhat strange. When Ni Su didn’t see the father and son arrive for a long time, she immediately felt uneasy. She took her medicine basket, wrapped her face veil, and went out.

Wind-blown sand made the entire street gray and dusty. Ni Su saw that almost everyone was running toward the city gate. Not understanding why, she first went to the dried well, saw that the wooden boards above were locked, and knew the father and son were not at home.

“A barbarian died at Agate Lake! I heard he was a high official! The barbarian prince is leading troops demanding an explanation in the poplar forest a hundred li outside the city…”

“What explanation! I heard that Supervisor Song wants to send money, silk, and women out to pacify this matter!”

“Why should we give them anything!”

Fragments of words from passersby hurrying past Ni Su occasionally fell upon her ears.

Agate Lake was just outside Yongzhou’s city gate, not far from Sangqiu. The Yongzhou army was stationed a hundred li outside the city. How could a barbarian have bypassed the military camp and died outside Yongzhou’s city gate?

Ni Su immediately sensed something strange about this matter. She quickly followed the crowd toward the city gate.

At this time the city gate was tightly closed. Armored soldiers stood in two lines on either side. In the middle of the road was a group of women with bound hands and feet. Each had a deathly pale face, crying out the names of their relatives.

Black chests were piled beside them, making them seem like goods equivalent to the money and silk in these chests.

“Supervisor Song, setting aside the question of how that barbarian bypassed our military camp to drown in Agate Lake, if you send these women and money out today, I’m afraid it still won’t calm Prince Su Qile’s fury.”

Commander Wei Dechang of the Wei family army, dressed in full military attire, glanced slightly at those women and chests. His brow furrowed.

Supervisor Song’s face was dark as water. “I haven’t yet questioned you, Commander Wei, about your crime. You were stationed at the poplar forest these past two days. This barbarian is Aduorong, leader of the Danqiu troops stationed at Juhan Pass. He died in our territory. You can’t possibly be unaware of the consequences. If war breaks out, can you bear the responsibility?!”

“If war breaks out, then we fight!” Wei Dechang’s brow grew even more agitated. “Now sending them money, silk, and women—what does that make us?”

At these words, Supervisor Song glared furiously. “Just fight? Martial brute! You want to fight—you must also think about how hard-won the current peace is!”

“I’m already married and with child! Please, lords, spare me! I cannot go!” One woman sobbed.

“With child?”

Supervisor Song turned his face and glanced lightly at the woman’s flat abdomen. He immediately raised his chin toward his personal guard.

The guard immediately stepped forward several paces. Before anyone could react, the scabbard in his hand struck the woman’s abdomen heavily. Only the woman’s shrill, miserable scream was heard as Supervisor Song spoke mildly: “Now there isn’t one, is there? Men throw away their heads and spill their hot blood—you too can sacrifice for the nation.”

Ni Su was almost shocked by this scene until her entire body’s blood ran cold. She wanted to go forward but was blocked by soldiers, unable to get even slightly close. She could only see through the gaps in the soldiers’ arms the bloodstains seeping through the woman’s dress.

“Commander Wei, it’s hard to say whether this matter is a Danqiu trick or some problem within your troops. I’m telling you, whoever dares to provoke war at this time is a criminal of Great Qi.”

Supervisor Song looked at Wei Dechang again.

Wei Dechang’s hand on his sword hilt tightened. His complexion became extremely ugly. “If it truly was someone in my army playing tricks, you need not say anything, Supervisor—I will certainly deal with them. But to have our Yongzhou army bow to barbarians… I, Wei Dechang, am unwilling.”

“Wei Dechang! Do you know what the big picture is? Right now we don’t have a foolproof strategy. Rashly starting a war is not a wise move!” Supervisor Song shouted at him in anger.

“Supervisor.”

Accompanied by urgent galloping hooves, dust rose on the road. Supervisor Song and Wei Dechang both turned their faces and saw the towering figure arriving on horseback.

Behind him followed a team of personal troops.

The military formation was solemn, the sound of colliding armor sharp and cold.

Before the horse had even stopped, the man nimbly flipped and leaped down from the horse, one hand on the precious sword at his waist, walking in two or three steps toward Supervisor Song and Wei Dechang.

He was about thirty or forty years old, keeping a long blue-black beard, yet his eyes were clear and bright, his features proper, and he possessed a cold, hard bearing washed by fresh blood.

“Sworn brother!”

The moment Wei Dechang saw him, his tightly furrowed brow relaxed somewhat.

“Supervisor Song, please step aside to speak.”

Qin Jixun glanced at him, then nodded toward Supervisor Song.

Supervisor Song said nothing but walked several steps toward a quiet place. Qin Jixun removed the precious sword from his waist and handed it to Wei Dechang. “Hold this for me first. Don’t follow.”

He then lifted his steps toward Supervisor Song.

Wei Dechang held the precious sword standing in place, watching Qin Jixun and Supervisor Song face each other not far away. He didn’t know what Qin Jixun said, but Supervisor Song’s brow furrowed tightly, then after a while his expression relaxed considerably.

The two spoke a few more words. Wei Dechang waited with growing irritation in his heart, about to lose his temper, when he saw Qin Jixun bow to Supervisor Song. Immediately after, Supervisor Song waved his sleeve at his personal guards and withdrew with his men.

“Sworn brother, what did you say to him?” Wei Dechang asked impatiently when he saw Qin Jixun walking back.

“Su Qile is a prince of the Danqiu royal court. I’m afraid he won’t even look at these women and money.” Qin Jixun took back his precious sword and ordered his personal troops: “Release them.”

“So sworn brother, you were just now asking Supervisor Song for money?” Wei Dechang had a flash of inspiration and immediately laughed. “You’ve always kept track of how much military pay that Supervisor Song has embezzled over these years, yet you never made an issue of it. Today when you ask him for money, naturally he has nothing to say!”

Even though the court had never reduced military funding, after layer upon layer of exploitation from Yunjing to the border, when military funds reached the army, they could barely maintain operations.

“That Aduorong had political disagreements with Su Qile back at the royal court. Now that Su Qile has received the king’s command to guard Juhan Pass, he certainly cannot tolerate Aduorong. This black pot has fallen on your head.”

Qin Jixun narrowed his eyes slightly.

Wei Dechang still had no answer for how Aduorong’s corpse ended up in Agate Lake. He immediately clasped his fists: “Sworn brother, I’ll go investigate right away!”

“No need.”

“Why? Does sworn brother not trust me?” Wei Dechang spoke in a rough, loud voice, somewhat annoyed. “If it really was someone in my army, I’ll kill his whole family!”

“How could I not trust you? It’s the supervisor who doesn’t trust you.”

Qin Jixun glanced at him mildly. “Though I command the three armies of Yongzhou, above you and me there is still Supervisor Song. If I let you investigate, he will certainly write a memorial to send to Yunjing to impeach you.”

Wei Dechang gritted his teeth in anger: “This pedantic civil official! All he knows is writing memorials to make false accusations!”

Qin Jixun had no desire to say more to him. Turning to order his personal troops to bring his horse, he saw among the crowd a veiled woman helping up the woman whose dress was stained with blood.

“Don’t cry. I’ll help you walk. You can’t be exposed to wind here—you must use medicine.” Ni Su had just helped the woman up when the woman’s husband walked over on trembling legs.

The woman’s face was covered in tears as she embraced her husband and they cried together.

“You can treat her?”

Qin Jixun strode over with large steps, a pair of sharp eyes looking at Ni Su.

“I can.”

Beneath her face veil, Ni Su looked at this man and spoke only one word in a bland voice. She had no desire to speak much with this person, but unexpectedly he suddenly removed the money pouch from his waist and tossed it into her hands.

“Then please cure her.”

Qin Jixun lifted his chin slightly. A personal soldier at his side immediately stepped forward and handed a bag of money to the woman’s husband. The man accepted the money, knelt down, and spoke through tears: “Thank you, General Qin!”

Qin Jixun paid no attention and rode off with his personal troops. Wei Dechang also quickly led away the soldiers blocking the city gate. Ni Su and the young man helped the woman back to their home. She first took her pulse, then examined her bleeding condition.

A child of less than three months, having received such a heavy blow, ultimately could not be saved.

Ni Su wrote a prescription. The husband went out to buy medicine and came back to decoct it. She waited for the woman to drink it, stayed a while longer, instructed about matters needing attention after miscarriage, then walked back alone.

The wooden boards over the dried well were still locked. Ni Su circled back to the father and son’s original dwelling. Her back was covered in cold sweat. Pushing open the door, she saw the father and son each holding an earthen jar, sitting in the corner.

“Miss Ni.” Qingqiong was drowsy. Hearing the door creak, he immediately raised his head and saw Ni Su entering.

“Where did you go?”

Ni Su discovered that the new clothes she had bought for them were actually covered in mud.

“Last night my father heard Mother speaking, saying that by the River of Hatred in the Nether Capital there is a very large field of reed flowers, and the dew on reed flowers in the human world is transformed from the River of Hatred in the Nether Capital. Taking it can calm souls. My father and I waited before dawn for the city gate to open and went out to collect dew.”

“You went to Agate Lake?”

Ni Su immediately understood.

“Yes. Who knew we’d see a corpse in the lake…” Fan Jiang wasn’t particularly frightened either. He was a man who had married a ghost. “I could tell at a glance it was a barbarian, so I brought Qingqiong back to find the military officers at the city gate. Then they went to retrieve the corpse and took us father and son to General Qin’s mansion for questioning. They only just released us.”

“At least we still have this dew.”

Qingqiong raised his jar.

Ni Su walked closer and discovered that the jars in the father and son’s hands were both filled to the brim with dew. How long had they spent collecting dew at Agate Lake…

Ni Su bowed to them: “Thank you both.”

“Miss Ni, we couldn’t possibly!” Fan Jiang waved his hands.

Ni Su thought for a moment, then stuffed the money pouch that General Qin had thrown to her into Qingqiong’s hands. “Take this. Don’t refuse me. Tonight, let’s eat hot pot together.”

Hot pot?

Qingqiong and Fan Jiang looked at each other. Both father and son saw the word “greedy” in each other’s eyes.

The father and son lived in poverty and had never bought so much beef and mutton. As they prepared the hot pot together, they saw Ni Su kneading a dough.

“Miss Ni, what are you making?” Qingqiong had cut the meat and wiped his hands to come look at her.

Ni Su was a bit itchy from her short hair. She scratched once and immediately got flour on her face, completely unaware as she answered Qingqiong: “I want to make sugar cakes.”

Yongzhou had no such thing as sugar cakes. Qingqiong said “oh” and watched her make them from the side, but discovered she actually seemed a bit flustered and confused. He couldn’t help but ask: “Miss Ni, do you actually know how?”

“Don’t make noise.”

Ni Su was also a bit anxious.

Night fell. Candles were lit in the room. The hot pot bubbled away, but neither Qingqiong nor Fan Jiang moved, not until Qingqiong saw the luminous white light ball in the medicine basket on Ni Su’s body disperse outward.

“General Xu!”

Qingqiong saw him condensing his form in the mist.

Ni Su immediately turned back and realized someone was already standing behind her.

She met his eyes, lifted a plate of sugar cakes from the stove, and brought it before him. “Xu Ziling, I learned how to make them.”

The sugar cakes were fried golden, each one full and round.

No different from those at the food stalls in Yunjing.

But Xu Hexue’s gaze fell on the back of her hand—several places were red. He said nothing, but his fingers suddenly touched the back of her hand lightly.

The burning pain of the scalds was almost immediately relieved by his touch. He was always this cold, like piled ice and snow. Ni Su picked up a sugar cake and handed it to him. “Try it quickly.”

Xu Hexue didn’t take it. Those glass-like eyes spread a cold, bland background, but when he saw the flour she hadn’t wiped clean from her face, the arc of his eyes changed minutely.

“It’s dirty.”

He said.

Ni Su looked confused.

Xu Hexue smelled the fragrance of the sugar cakes, mixed within it the scent of brown sugar. He had long ago forgotten what the taste of sweet was. He gathered his sleeve with two fingers and gently wiped away the mark at the edge of her cheek.