By the time I returned to the construction site, it was brightly lit, and everyone was waiting for me in the office.

I wiped my face, trying my best to put on a composed and calm expression.

The supervisor came up to me, elated: “Manager Ren! Experts from the Provincial Architecture Institute are here. They say they’ll discuss the blueprint modifications with us!”

“Aren’t they supposed to come tomorrow morning?”

At that moment, I saw him. He was standing under a patch of warm yellow light, turning his head to speak with Li Gong.

Hearing the sound, he turned around, extended his hand toward me, and smiled: “Hello, Manager Ren. I’m Cheng Xia, an architect from the Provincial Architecture Institute.”

The orange light behind him made him glow all over, even his smile was as warm as a bonfire.

Our blueprint was produced by Yu Gong. He was old and had begged everyone he could just to hold a meeting tomorrow. Cheng Xia was in his group, and under normal circumstances, he would only come tomorrow as well.

But he had come early.

That night, Cheng Xia stayed with us in meetings until the early morning, discussing several versions of modification plans.

He said: “Although we still need tomorrow’s official meeting for discussion, currently it seems there should be ways to modify the blueprint based on what we have now. When the time comes, our side will issue a design change and that will be it. Everyone doesn’t need to panic too much.”

In other words, if things went smoothly, we would only need to extend the construction period, not overturn and start over.

Although he didn’t promise too much, I felt that the taut string in the air had loosened considerably.

I said: “Alright then, that’s it for today. Everyone go back and rest. Prepare for tomorrow’s official meeting with the Provincial Architecture Institute.”

Everyone left one by one. Cheng Xia also said goodbye to me: “Well then, Manager Ren, I’ll head back first.”

“Today was really hard on you. I don’t even know what to say. Take care.”

“It’s part of the job.” He said, then drove off.

After I saw everyone off, I walked outside to wait. I saw that white Volvo circle back around. Cheng Xia rolled down the window, raised his eyebrows at me, and said: “Ren Dongxue, how are you going to thank me this time?”

“I’m really a bit tired today. Another day I’ll treat you to something good.” I said.

“No way. You always say ‘another day.’ Today it is.”

He was rarely forceful. It was like that high-spirited Cheng Xia from university had returned.

I hadn’t eaten or slept for a whole day, yet I had a kind of neurotic excitement. I wasn’t sleepy or tired.

Cheng Xia kept yawning, forcing himself to stay alert while researching late-night food options nearby.

In the end, we really couldn’t find anything suitable. I asked: “How about… we go to your place and order takeout?”

“Huh?”

Cheng Xia hesitated for a moment, then said: “Okay.”

After our reunion, he often came to my home in the distant suburbs. This was my first time going to his place.

He rented a high-rise apartment in the city center. It wasn’t large, but it overlooked the city’s night scenery and the azure sea.

It looked exactly like what a white moonlight’s home should be—clean, simple, with only the most basic furniture, as if just renovated.

“You go take a shower first. I’ll order takeout.” He said.

“Okay.”

In the warm yellow glow of the bathroom heater, hot water gushed down like heavy rain.

I stood in this rain, feeling my nerves still jumping frantically. Countless chaotic data, broken rebar from the construction site, the documents Old Feng threw in my face, those contemptuous cold laughs, filthy insults—all flashed through my mind one by one, finally devolving into disordered light and shadow.

“Do you eat crawfish? Oh! This place has spicy hot pot.” Cheng Xia leaned against the doorway talking to me. The light cast his slender shadow on the door.

I suddenly pushed the door open.

I was dripping wet all over, completely naked. Cheng Xia was still wearing that white shirt, looking at me in bewilderment.

I kissed his lips almost ferociously.

This was Cheng Xia’s taste—very cool, like mint. His tongue was very soft.

Cheng Xia was pressed against the wall by me, powerless to resist: “Ren Dongxue, what are you doing?”

I didn’t know what I was doing either. I only knew I wanted to vent like crazy. “I want to do it.”

I panted, forcefully tearing at his shirt. In the struggle, we both fell to the floor. I immediately turned over and sat on top of him.

He panted, his face taking on a thin layer of red: “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“You don’t need to take responsibility.” I said, then fiercely kissed his lips.

Because I was too forceful, I tasted blood between lips and teeth.

The next second, I felt the world spinning. He picked me up in one motion.

I was thrown onto the bed.

The bedroom was very dark. I could only feel the bed was very soft, with a scent of dried lavender.

He leaned over me, gazing at me. Those clean eyes flickered with something ambiguous.

“I’ve dreamed of this scene.” He said while loosening his tie: “When I was sixteen.”

That white shirt finally fell to the floor.

He leaned down, like the moon sinking into the water’s surface, a pool of broken silver stirred into chaos.

All the blood in my body was boiling. The sound of African drums rang in my ears—the music played during tribal hunts. I seemed to see the African sky, lonely flowing clouds gliding from east to west.

Lions hunting, leopards leaping, startled buffalo herds running toward the muddy water plains.

I forcefully suppressed the irrepressible feeling of pleasure in my body, murmuring: “Cheng Xia, after this we’ll be even…”

Cheng Xia stopped. He asked: “What do you mean by that?”

The room was pitch dark, with only moonlight left, shining in through the window without obstruction.

I lay on the bed and said: “Literal meaning. You helped me today. I thank you. From now on, don’t come looking for me anymore.”

“You’re blaming me?” Cheng Xia stared at me blankly, as if looking at a monster: “Ren Dongxue, I had a fever all day. When I heard something happened at your construction site, I rushed over immediately. I wanted to help you. Was I wrong?”

“Of course,” I propped up my head, looking at him: “Your mistake is that I don’t need any of you people to help me!”

That violent emotion had passed. I had no strength at all. My voice was calm: “Old Feng helps me because he’s waiting for the day he can sleep with me. You help me because you want to use these small favors to keep me devoted to you. Don’t say you never thought this way. You did it.”

The room fell into deathly silence.

Everything in the world has a price. Things I can’t afford to pay for, I don’t want.

This was the only bit of pride I had left from living until now.

I would rather die holding onto this bit of pride than live humbly.

The heat in my body faded. I went to the bathroom to wash my face, then put my clothes on. Before I was about to leave, Cheng Xia asked: “Ren Dongxue, do you still like me?”

I didn’t answer, but said: “Engineer Cheng, for future work, come when you should come. Don’t send WeChat messages, don’t ask me to eat, don’t come to my home. Act as if we never knew each other.”

After saying this, I opened the door and walked into the darkness of the early morning.

I went back to the office and slept for a very long time.

I finally recovered from that drug-like high and sorrowful emotion.

I wasn’t even thirty yet. Even if this project collapsed, there would be another one. What was the point of being so dramatic?

As for Cheng Xia…

Yesterday’s forced attempt at indecency that failed, doing half and then backing out, acting crazy at his house like a lunatic… This must all be a dream. It must be a dream!

Just as I was brushing my teeth while desperately trying to convince myself, the supervisor banged on the door: “Manager Ren, how are you still sleeping! The teachers from the Provincial Architecture Institute are here.”

Everyone at the construction site welcomed them like heavenly deities descending, lining up to greet them.

I quickly rushed to the front, competing to be the number one bootlicker: “Teacher Yu! Why did you come by yourself? We were going to send a car to pick you up!”

Yu Gong snorted coldly: “Manager Ren is really not an ordinary person! Such a big incident happened and you can still sleep! Oh, is it because you feel someone will clean up your mess?”

I quickly cozied up: “I just love hearing Teacher Yu speak. Hearing that northeastern accent is like seeing my dad. I feel so close!”

Cheng Xia followed behind Teacher Yu, looking at me with a normal expression.

…Yesterday still noble and pure saying I didn’t owe anyone anything, today competing to be the construction site’s number one bootlicker.

…No, everything yesterday was a dream. It must be a dream.

Yu Gong’s group had three people in total: Cheng Xia, Yan Lei, and the jelly girl Yu Shixuan.

“I’m getting old. In the future it’ll probably be these young people coordinating with you.” Yu Gong instructed.

“That’s wonderful. A famous teacher produces outstanding students. These young teachers clearly are talented youths. Our project is definitely saved.” I enthusiastically shook hands with each of them. Cheng Xia also smiled in response. His fingertips were ice cold.

Just after entering the construction site, Yan Lei spoke up: “Teacher, I came to the construction site yesterday in advance to understand the situation. Their situation here is like this…”

Huh?

Wasn’t Cheng Xia the only one who came yesterday?

Yu Gong smiled approvingly: “Young people must be diligent. If everyone just waits for me to do the work, then you’ll be finished for life.”

Cheng Xia followed behind, his expression not changing one bit.

The meeting lasted all day. I didn’t understand anything about technical matters, but I forced myself to listen through it all.

This incident absolutely could not happen a second time in my professional career.

The final conclusion was about the same as Cheng Xia’s result from yesterday.

They would spend a week producing a design modification that would maximize preservation of the currently constructed project and the original blueprint design.