Early the next morning, I went to Cheng Xia’s house carrying large and small bags.

I’d been to his house before. Not just me—he’d basically brought all his friends home at some point. His mother was especially enthusiastic with everyone. No matter who came, she’d give them a beautifully wrapped red envelope with their name written on it. Mine was especially large.

But this time was different. As for how it was different, I actually didn’t know.

After that conversation, our interactions were actually pretty much the same as usual—still eating together, watching movies, sharing interesting things. If you called us friends, there was a bit more ambiguity. If you called us boyfriend and girlfriend, something was still missing.

But this time, he insisted I come to his house as a guest.

“Xue’er is here! Are you cold? Come in quickly!” Dad Cheng was quite enthusiastic. Wearing an apron, he got us slippers. “I remember you love spicy food. I made boiled fish—it’ll be ready soon! Go wash your hands and wait!”

This surprised me quite a bit. Six years ago, his father was a rather serious person, either busy in his study or pacing over to ask us, “What have you been reading lately? At your age…”

He’d always be laughingly shooed away by Mom Cheng.

Their home hadn’t changed much from before, except the décor and furniture that seemed impossibly high-class to me back then now looked rather dull and gray.

Some candy and sunflower seeds were scattered on the coffee table. Cheng Xia wanted to pour me water, but looked at the cup and frowned, then called out, “Dad, where are the cups in the house?”

“Aren’t they on the table!”

“I don’t want to use these cups.”

Dad Cheng ran out holding a spatula and rummaged through cabinets for a long time but still couldn’t find any. He could only say, “Go buy a bottle of drink and share it with Dongxue!”

I felt like both of them were quite unfamiliar with this home.

Cheng Xia said, “I come back once a year. My dad is busy every day. Finally comes back for a few days during New Year, but people come to pay New Year’s visits every day, making the house all chaotic.”

I thought to myself, this is what they call “the poor in the marketplace go unnoticed, while the rich in remote mountains have distant relatives.”

Dad Cheng hurriedly brought out the dishes, steaming hot food filling the entire table. Four sets of bowls and chopsticks were laid out.

“Come! Let’s celebrate New Year today too! Let’s drink first!”

Cheng Xia didn’t drink, so I drank a glass with his father.

“Quick, try the fish I made!”

Dad Cheng took the lead in taking a bite with his chopsticks, closed his eyes slightly, and sighed contentedly. I also took a bite.

That taste was exactly the same as the dishes Mom Cheng used to make.

At that moment I finally understood why things felt strange. Dad Cheng was trying hard to imitate Mom Cheng, enthusiastically hosting guests, pretending this home was the same as before.

“Welcome, Dongxue.” Dad Cheng said, “When it comes to friendship, childhood feelings are the most sincere. Xiaxia usually sleeps in as soon as he gets home, but today he got up at six o’clock, cleaning the room and buying groceries…”

Cheng Xia’s face flushed slightly. “Dad!”

His father urgently switched topics. “So Dongxue, what are your thoughts on Africa’s development and construction?”

“Do you think there are drawbacks to the safety supervision system for earthwork projects?”

“What do you think of our country’s building industry-related regulations?”

…The previous topic was better, actually…

My brain went completely blank. Relying purely on my instinct for improvisation, I stammered through some answers. I could see Dad Cheng’s eyebrows furrowing into a frown.

Cheng Xia interrupted me. “Dad, this isn’t a report!”

“This is just chatting!” Dad Cheng said, “Young people can’t just look at what’s in front of them. You need to look at problems from a macro, developmental perspective.”

Cheng Xia said, “I don’t want to hear it!”

Dad Cheng didn’t lose his temper, just said, “Even if you don’t want to hear it, I have to say it. Your industry is too heavily influenced by policy. If you have your own plans, that’s fine, but from the perspective of future family stability, I suggest one of you prepare for the civil service exam, or get promoted to management positions as soon as possible…”

Family stability…

My heart skipped a beat. For a moment, Cheng Xia didn’t speak either. Only Dad Cheng’s voice remained at the dinner table, chattering on as he made future plans for us.

After eating, Dad Cheng told Cheng Xia to wash dishes, with the reason being, “In doing things, there must be a clear division of labor. I already cooked.”

Cheng Xia went to wash dishes, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

Dad Cheng asked me to go to his study.

This was my first time entering here. When he sat in that office chair, that kindly father seemed to disappear.

He scrutinized me with an inexplicable sense of oppression.

“Cheng Xia told me about you two. I want to hear your thoughts.”

My thoughts?

I hesitated, then said, “Actually I don’t have any particular thoughts. Being together now is quite happy. Of course I also know the gap between us is very large…”

He shook his head and said disappointedly, “You didn’t understand what I’m saying.”

I stopped somewhat awkwardly.

“Do you understand Cheng Xia? And does Cheng Xia understand you?” He took a sip of hot water. “Frankly speaking, I had people investigate you.”

Anger began accumulating in my heart.

What right did you have to investigate me?

Right now it’s Cheng Xia pursuing me, not me pursuing him… Even during those years when I was pursuing him, I just wanted to date him! It wasn’t marriage—what right did you have to investigate me?

But I couldn’t possibly lose my temper. I could only lower my head slightly and listen to him speak.

“A vocational high school student who spent six years in Africa and reached your current position… enduring what ordinary people cannot endure is for achieving what ordinary people cannot achieve. Your future will definitely not stop at being a project manager at S Construction. You will definitely rise rapidly.”

I looked at him somewhat incredulously.

“And my son? He has no ambition, no ruthlessness. If the projects he wants to design aren’t recognized, he’ll just keep them to appreciate himself. If he’s not appreciated by leaders, he stays far away from them.” Dad Cheng smiled bitterly. “He’s had everything his whole life, so he doesn’t care about anything.”

Then he scrutinized me. “I know the most important thing maintaining your relationship is that you like him. If one day you reach a position higher than his, will you still like him?”

I answered without hesitation, “Of course.”

Liking Cheng Xia had become more natural to me than breathing.

Unless it was the end of the world, I couldn’t imagine a day when I wouldn’t like Cheng Xia.

“As long as he likes me, I will definitely be with him.” I added, with an inexplicable anger.

Dad Cheng sighed softly. “That’s another question then. Are you sure he likes you?”

When I came out of the study, Cheng Xia had just finished washing dishes.

“What did my dad talk to you about?”

“He gave me five million to leave you!”

He laughed at my joke, eyes crinkling. “Then I’ll report him to the Discipline Inspection Commission!”

Dad Cheng had another meeting and left early. I had to go see my mom in the afternoon—my biological mother.

“I’ll go with you.” Cheng Xia pulled out several gift boxes. “I’ve already prepared everything.”

The market on the first day of New Year was still quite lively. Everyone was making a bit more business before closing.

My mom had long since stopped selling clothes. She rented a stall and sold prepared food with my stepfather.

Before I could squeeze to the stall, I heard pig-slaughtering-like howls. “Murder! Murder!”

“Today I’ll let everyone see what this bitch who’s been ridden by thousands looks like! Everyone get a good look! Nobody needs to have any fucking shame anymore!”

Hearing that voice, I immediately dropped Cheng Xia and ran forward.

My mom was lying on the ground, blood all over her nose. Her hair was clutched in my stepfather’s hand as he dragged her. There were people all around, but no one dared to intervene.

I rushed up. “What are you doing!”

He was red-eyed with rage and didn’t recognize me. “This is none of your fucking business! If you don’t want to die, get lost!”

“Watch your mouth! I’m standing right here! I dare you to touch me and see what happens!”

He had always bullied the weak and feared the strong. For a moment he froze there. I shoved him aside and helped my mom up.

My mom’s face was covered in nosebleed. She kicked her legs while yelling, “Zhao Laoshan, you’re a worthless piece of trash! If you have the guts, go fight with men! What kind of skill is beating your wife!”

Security finally came up and pulled them apart.

Zhao Laoshan finally recognized me. “Ah, you all don’t know her! This is her daughter—sold to Africa to lick black men’s asses! Their whole family isn’t human! Dogs! Bitches!”

My mom was like an enraged lioness, pouncing to scratch his face. “You’re the worthless one—you think everyone else is improper! What are you! Everyone listen clearly, Zhao Laoshan is impotent! You’ll die without descendants!”

I used every ounce of strength to finally restrain her.

But no one expected that Zhao Laoshan, after being pathetic his whole life, would suddenly grab the cleaver from the cutting board and swing it down at us!

I only had time to step back once.

In that moment, Cheng Xia rushed over and held me.

“Does he always hit you?” I asked my mom on the hospital bed, arms crossed.

“What’s it to you?” She said coldly, “Go back!”

“You’re my mother. How can I not care about you?”

She sneered. “You don’t need to care about me. We agreed early on—I didn’t care for you when you were young, so you don’t need to care for me when I’m old!”

That’s just how she was.

When I was little, she ran away from home. My dad made me go find her and bring her back, saying if I didn’t bring her back, he’d beat me to death. I went with tears streaming down my face.

She was laughing and chatting with a man beside her stall, feeding him sorghum candy. As soon as she saw me, her expression turned cold.

I said, “Mom, will you come home with me?”

“Go back to that hellhole for what?”

“But if you don’t go back, Dad will beat me to death.”

“That’s your fate!”

She sneered, her brown pupils like an angry cat’s. “Go back and tell your dad—if he wants to rot in the gutter, wants to use a child to drag me down to rot with him, he’s fucking dreaming!”

She was extremely beautiful then, wearing a leather jacket with purple eyeshadow, cold like a female assassin.

But now, the female assassin had grown old too.

The hospital lights illuminated the deep lines on her face, including the bruises. Her hair had been dyed many times and was frizzy, but still couldn’t cover the white hair.

I bowed my head and transferred ten thousand yuan, then grabbed her phone and clicked transfer confirmation.

She was too weak to snatch it from me and could only rage, “I don’t want your money! Take it back! Take it back!”

I said, “I can’t control you, but if he hits you again, use this money to run!”

I left after saying that, shutting all her yelling inside the hospital room.

Cheng Xia was waiting for me at the hospital entrance.

His wound had already been treated. Zhao Laoshan didn’t have much strength in his hand—he couldn’t even tear through the clothing, only leaving a bruised mark on his back.

The immense shame made me not know how to face him anymore. I could only ask, “Does it hurt?”

He didn’t answer, only said, “Don’t cry.”

Only then did I realize my face was already covered in tears.

“This is my life.” I heard my own voice. “Always humiliating. No matter how hard I try, something will pop up from time to time to remind me—I don’t deserve dignity.”