I stood up with a sudden noise and said, “Cheng Xia, don’t you have something to do tomorrow?”

“Huh?” He glanced at me, then realized. “Oh, yes.”

I escorted him and his mother out the door.

Cheng Xia’s mother kept telling me to come over to their house to visit. I was so shaken that I no longer knew how to respond.

What could I say?

I had never concealed my family circumstances, and I didn’t think having a grandmother who liked collecting scraps was something shameful. But I didn’t want him to see it.

Only him—I just didn’t want him to see it.

“How did you know my home address?” I asked in a low voice.

“Didn’t I walk you home before? I called you but you didn’t answer, so I called your name from downstairs and Grandma opened the door.”

Seeing that I didn’t speak, Cheng Xia added, “So it’s settled then!”

Cheng Xia’s mother also said from the side, “Thank you so much, Dongxue.”

“Huh?” I suddenly came back to myself. “What did you say?”

Cheng Xia clicked his tongue. “What have you been listening to this whole time? Don’t you have a driver’s license? I said, tomorrow we’re going to worship at the temple. Can you help drive?”

We have a custom here of worshipping deities on New Year’s Day. It’s just that the temple is too far away. Families like ours without cars just light incense at home, but Cheng Xia’s family had to get up early to burn incense at the temple.

“Oh… okay.”

Actually, how could I refuse? When had I ever refused any request you made?

Why did you have to come to my house? Why?

So please leave, you and your mother. Stop exchanging pleasantries.

My face was already flushed red.

At three in the morning, I went to Cheng Xia’s house to pick him up.

The best residential complex in the entire city—even in this season, it was lush and green. Their family really had a lot of people. They came down noisily. Cheng Xia’s mother pulled my hand and introduced me. “This is Xia Xia’s classmate. She’s helping our family drive today.”

“Xia Xia should hurry up and get his driver’s license. How can we have a girl drive?” A woman wearing a qipao with a sable fur coat smiled and held my hand. “This girl is so pretty.”

“Yes, the car’s already bought, but he can’t get his license.” Cheng Xia’s mother said reproachfully, then introduced to me, “This is Third Aunt.”

I smiled. “Hello, Third Aunt. Your temperament is so elegant. Most people couldn’t pull off these clothes like you do.”

“Little girl has good taste. I picked out this fabric myself and personally supervised the tailor making it.”

In my car sat Third Aunt’s whole family. Cheng Xia sat in the passenger seat, drowsy.

“Xia Xia, you can’t sleep in the passenger seat. It affects the driver.”

“It’s fine. I slept during the day, I’m wide awake. Third Aunt, Third Uncle, you should take a nap too.” I smiled.

“Alright, if you get tired, say so and switch with your Third Uncle.”

She took the opportunity to fall asleep in the back seat. Her husband wasn’t as socially adept as her. He nodded at me and closed his eyes.

Everyone in the car fell into slumber. Only Third Aunt’s tiger-headed son was energetic, leaning forward to ask, “Sister, are you my brother’s girlfriend?”

I smiled. “Guess!”

He thought about it and shook his head.

“Why?”

“The sister on my brother’s phone screen is prettier than you.”

The car was very quiet. You could only hear the rising and falling of breathing sounds. Cheng Xia was leaning to one side, sleeping soundly.

I gripped the steering wheel. Once the car smoothly got on the highway, I said softly, “Ah, is that so.”

We wound our way up the mountain road. When we arrived at the temple, it was bustling with voices.

Cheng Xia’s family scattered into the crowd, each going to worship. A bundle of incense cost five hundred yuan. I didn’t squeeze forward and went to the side to wait for them to finish.

Looking down from the mountain, the dark green pine branches were weighed down heavily by snowflakes. The first ray of golden light in the morning shone on them—there was a breathtaking beauty.

“What are you doing?” Cheng Xia appeared beside me at some point.

“Watching the sunrise.”

“Sister, did we come to watch the sunrise? Go burn incense!” he said irritably, pulling my wrist and walking.

Inside the great hall, the bodhisattva’s countenance was solemn and dignified. All sentient beings knelt on the ground.

Cheng Xia handed me incense. “Remember to tell the bodhisattva your wish.”

I bowed down. My mind was completely blank.

The bodhisattva shouldn’t despise poor people, right?

Then let me fly, bodhisattva. I want to see higher places.

Cheng Xia asked from the side, “What did you wish for?”

I smiled teasingly at him. “I hope we’ll never be apart.”

His face flushed. He said irritably, “There you go again.”

I smiled faintly without saying more. Separated by a fist’s distance, I watched the distant clouds gradually dyed in layers with him.

Then I heard his casual voice say, “Of course we won’t be apart. You wasted a wish.”

After worshipping, we ate. After eating, we went to the resort to play, stayed one night, and went home the next day.

They were like a happy family from a magazine. The elderly fished by the river, sunbathed by the river. The younger ones were busy barbecuing. There were also some small children shrieking as they chased each other with little dogs.

I kept rushing to do work, helping them barbecue, fetch drinks, and play with the children.

When someone asked who I was, Cheng Xia’s mother would put her arm around my shoulder and say intimately, “Xia Xia’s childhood friend. I treat her like my own daughter.” I would put on a smiling face and say, “I treat A’Yi like my own mother too.”

So that’s why I helped drive.

So that’s why I took care of Cheng Xia.

Other than that, there was no relationship whatsoever.

The work wasn’t heavy, but maintaining a smile the whole time and chatting warmly with every stranger was truly exhausting.

Cheng Xia stayed by my side the whole time, but with people coming and going, we barely spoke a few words.

Finally, when evening came, I threw myself on the bed and stared out the window in a daze.

This was a room with a mountain view. During the day, it looked fresh and open. At night, you could only see the undulating contours of the mountains, a solitary moon, exceptionally desolate.

Just then, the door was knocked on again.

It was Cheng Xia. He wore that white down jacket, smiling brilliantly. “Let’s go! Let’s set off fireworks!”

He bought a whole box of fireworks and took me to the flat ground in front of the mountain to set them off one by one. They were brilliant like an illusion, then returned to darkness.

“You try one too!”

Wrapped in my down jacket, I shook my head. “I’m scared.”

“What’s there to be scared of?” He took my hand without asking. “Ancient people used these to scare away wild beasts. If we wave these around, all bad luck will be scared away.”

This was a position similar to an embrace. My back pressed against his chest, my wrist held in his hand.

He always had a nice smell of laundry detergent on him, warm enough to make one drowsy.

I forcefully broke free from him and said, “I’m going back to sleep.”

Then I turned and walked away.

He called my name from behind. The more he called, the faster I walked.

Finally, he blocked my path, asking breathlessly, “Ren Dongxue, what’s wrong with you?”

I stood there. The temper I had been holding in all day finally exploded. I said, “Cheng Xia, with so many people in your family, you couldn’t find one person to drive? Why did you have to bring me here? Do you just use your lapdog because it’s free? Or are you deliberately trying to disgust me?”

Cheng Xia froze for a moment, then said angrily, “What are you saying? Are you sick?”

“Yes, I’m sick. I’m from a family that collects scraps, yet I actually like you. I know I’m not worthy, but you could have just told me. Did you have to drag me here to see your happy big family and humiliate me?”

What do you take me for?

You clearly know that with the slightest bit of sweetness from you, I’ll shamelessly harbor so many shameless hopes. Why do you still provoke me?

I was incoherent. I wanted to say more, but a huge choking sensation stopped me. I just looked at him like that, desperately restraining my tears from falling.

Cheng Xia looked at me for a long time, then turned and walked away.

After a few steps, he turned back, pulled out a tissue from his pocket, and roughly wiped my tears.

“I really give up. I asked you to drive because you told me you’d never worshipped on New Year’s Day, so I thought, then come with my family!” He was very forceful. My face hurt from his wiping.

“You’ve been in a bad mood. I asked you but you wouldn’t say. I did all this just to make you happy.”

I said, “I don’t need your pity.”

“I don’t pity you. Okay, with your home like that, who wouldn’t pity you?” He spoke without thinking, almost roaring. “But my home is your home, my mom is your mom. Do you understand? Whatever you don’t have, I want to give you. What’s wrong with that? Where is the mistake?”

When he got anxious, he started stuttering, just like the high school boy in my memory.

Clearly very angry, very aggrieved, I still couldn’t help but laugh.

Seeing me laugh, he got even angrier. “You always think the worst of people. I never noticed this about you before.”

I said, “Then what about that girl on your phone?”

“What?”

“Your little brother said I’m not as pretty as the girl on your phone.”

He laughed in exasperation, pulled out his phone to show me. “That’s Liu Yifei. Could you possibly be as pretty as Liu Yifei?”

On the phone screen, it was indeed Liu Yifei.

Taking me off guard, he threw a handful of snow at me. “Ren Dongxue, I’ve discovered you really are sick.”

I quickly retaliated, grabbing a handful of snow and stuffing it down his collar. He howled from the cold.

Fireworks bloomed above our heads.

We stopped. He put his arm around my shoulder. We stood like that side by side, watching the illusion in the sky. This time, there was no fist’s distance between us.

Borrowing the huge roar, he said beside me.

“I will never look down on you, never. If anyone dares to look down on you, I’ll help you look down on them ten times over.”

“Ren Dongxue, I really like you, but not in a romantic way. Do you understand?” he said. “You grew up in such a harsh environment, yet you’re more optimistic and cheerful than anyone. Like a little leopard—fierce, beautiful, and ambitious.”

Fireworks bloomed on his shoulder. He looked at me and said very seriously, “You’re especially important to me. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

My tears finally fell. I nodded and said to him with a smile, “Okay.”

“But Cheng Xia, you have to promise me one thing. If you have someone you like, you must tell me.”

“Will you leave me?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t have anyone I like.” He raised his hand. “I swear.”

Cheng Xia, you really know how to torture people.