I went back and quit my job.

The electronics factory didn’t pay much, but the work was simple and included room and board. Six of us girls squeezed into the dormitory gossiping and cooking hotpot. The days passed happily.

My sisters were very reluctant to see me go. They said, aren’t you silly? Isn’t it nice here? Why quit before finding your next job?

“I need to go earn money!” I said.

Having money is such a wonderful thing. I used to think that as long as I could support my grandmother and myself, that was enough.

As for the luxury cars and villas on TV, those were other people’s lives. I had no feelings about them.

It was Cheng Xia and his family—driving out for excursions, eight-hundred-yuan-a-night mountain view rooms, bouncing children and puppies—that awakened my endless ambition and desire.

I wanted to have money, wanted this kind of clean, bright life.

But at the electronics factory, with a monthly salary of less than two thousand yuan, it was just barely enough to support my grandmother and me.

There was no room for promotion. At forty years old, I’d still be making the same salary.

Unless I could truly burn my bridges and improve my education level. However, work consumed eighty percent of my time, and I couldn’t save enough money to study full-time.

This was a dead cycle.

I had to find a job with higher pay to break free from this cycle.

Even if it was harder and more exhausting, I wanted to fight for a future for myself, a possibility.

When I left, Zhong Ping saw me off. She said, “Little sister, you’re going to suffer a lot in the future… but I truly envy you.”

I only had an adult self-study diploma. Finding a high-paying job with promotion opportunities was very difficult. Cheng Xia spent an entire afternoon screening through job recruitment apps and selected several positions.

“You can look at sales positions, like cosmetics counter staff—low base salary but with commission. You could also try being a receptionist at a big company… Oh right, you could actually try being a Taobao model. It’s an emerging industry, just not sure how reliable it is…”

I looked down at the several positions he had circled and said, “I still want to enter a construction company.”

“That’s very difficult. Big companies generally have education requirements, and you’d definitely have to go to construction sites. You’re a girl…”

“I want to try.” I said.

That was an era when real estate had not yet declined. Construction units were bustling everywhere. Although I studied civil engineering because I stupidly couldn’t distinguish between architecture and civil engineering, at that time, it was an extremely popular major.

But submitting my resume wasn’t smooth.

Either they would flip through the resume and mutter, “Oh, self-study diploma? I thought it was an undergraduate degree. What a waste of time.”

Or they’d look both amused and exasperated. “Such a pretty girl working on construction sites? What were you thinking?”

I smiled cheerfully. “It’s fine. I heard that after two months on a construction site, even the prettiest girl becomes a man.”

They would laugh heartily.

But there was never any follow-up.

Meanwhile, Cheng Xia had already been guaranteed admission to graduate school and was preparing his thesis.

I shuttled alone through those cold office buildings, smiling until my cheeks were stiff.

This was the first time I directly felt my own insignificance in this society. I didn’t have this certificate, didn’t have that certificate. Interviewers smiled at me as if looking at a mischievous child.

A child with nothing, yet wanting to climb a big tree to pluck the moon.

On what basis?

The interviews weren’t going well, that little bit of money was running out, next month’s living expenses for Grandma weren’t settled yet, and my dad kept calling me asking how much money I could contribute for my little brother’s schooling.

The last interview was in a very run-down office building, but it was genuinely a subsidiary of a state-owned enterprise.

It was a Friday. Heavy rain had been falling since midnight. I lost my footing and took a tumble, covered in mud spots.

There was still some time before the interview. I went to the restroom, took off my clothes and washed them clean, then went to a nearby hotel to borrow a hairdryer. I put the clothes in a plastic bag and blew air into the bag’s opening.

This could make clothes dry faster. When I was in school, I didn’t have many changes of clothes, so I did it this way.

Although it wasn’t completely dry, damp was better than dirty.

The interviewer was a middle-aged leader. After asking some interview questions, he suddenly made small talk. “I saw you when I came in earlier. Do you have OCD?”

I was stunned for a moment before realizing he was probably talking about me washing my clothes.

“Not really.” I said. “I just wanted to look a bit cleaner.”

He said, “If you love cleanliness, you can’t do this work.”

I froze. I hadn’t prepared for this question at all. The atmosphere became awkward.

He lowered his head to drink water and waved his hand to indicate I could leave.

I stood up, desperate inside, but still wanting to make one last struggle.

“Leader, about this matter, it might be different from what you think. Because my grandmother makes a living collecting scraps. You see, if a girl from a well-off family gets her clothes dirty, people won’t think it matters. But for me, people immediately associate it with, ‘Ah, her family collects scraps.’ So maintaining a decent image outside has become a habit for me.”

I took a deep breath. “So, if you feel my education and other aspects aren’t very good, that’s normal. But I truly grew up at the very bottom. I’ve seen the dirtiest and most exhausting work. I don’t want you to have a misunderstanding about me.”

He looked up at me and said, “I understand. Go back and wait for notification.”

The rainstorm continued for several days. On the day after the rain cleared, I went to find Cheng Xia.

He hurriedly ran over from the dormitory, his hair blown messy by the sea breeze, revealing his smooth forehead.

“How did it go?” He looked at my expression carefully. “Just take your time looking. Even our classmates who graduated from 985 universities are still wandering around!”

I didn’t say anything. He continued, “Don’t worry about money, I’m here. If worst comes to worst, just go directly for graduate school. You’ve quit your job anyway.”

I said, “I got into S Construction.”

He froze for a moment, then his eyes brightened. “Ren Dongxue, I knew it. Whatever you want to do, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish!”

“Let’s go! I’ll treat you to a good meal.”

“Then I’ll really make you pay.”

We ran and laughed all the way. Sunlight scattered on the puddles, iridescent.

That was my happiest period.

I worked as a documentation clerk at S Construction. My internship salary was three thousand, five thousand after becoming permanent. Most of those who entered with me were undergraduates, and there were even some from S University.

I had finally gotten close to Cheng Xia’s world. This was something I hadn’t dared to even imagine before.

Compared to this, the dust flying on the construction site, the hardship of working around the clock, the humiliation of being scolded bloody by the veteran masters—none of it mattered at all.

The person who interviewed me was the company’s deputy general manager. Behind his back, we called him Old Feng. He was in his early forties. Rumor had it that he lost an internal power struggle at headquarters and was transferred here. His temperament was very gloomy, with a sense of being out of place with his surroundings.

Our batch of people were personally recruited by him, but as soon as they went to the construction site, several quit. The remaining few were all full of resentment. I was one he could use relatively smoothly, and he treated me quite well, finding veteran masters to mentor me and teach me hands-on.

Documentation clerks seemed to just do odd jobs, but there were actually many tricky things to handle. You had to know how to read blueprints, remember construction material requirements, steel reinforcement and concrete strength, and calculate basic data… and my mind was completely blank.

But people are forced to grow. While busy to the point of exhaustion, I learned these things. Strangely, I didn’t find it bitter. This feeling of voraciously absorbing new knowledge made me feel especially at peace.

S Construction had another advantage—it was very close to Cheng Xia’s school. When I wasn’t at the construction site, I would still go find him. He would teach me architectural knowledge, I would tell him about practical experiences from the construction site. Finally, we could chatter endlessly for dozens of hours.

We went through the difficult adjustment period between me and this job together, then it was his turn to do internships and graduate. When I stood with him in his academic gown, making peace signs at the camera together, I even felt a ridiculous sense of pride and satisfaction.

We had gone through the transition from youth to adulthood together. So what if I wasn’t his girlfriend?

I was already very, very close to him.

When winter came, we welcomed the end of the project and the group’s first team-building event.

Old Feng had drunk two rounds with the big leaders and was already drunk, but people toasting him kept coming in waves. He glanced toward us a couple of times. Our department was directly under him. Most were still very much students—the boys putting on airs, the girls anxious and uneasy. Only I met his gaze for a few seconds, then stood up carrying my drink and walked to his side.

“Mr. Feng, I haven’t been with the company long. Today I also want to take advantage of your presence to drink a few more rounds with everyone. Do you approve?”

Old Feng smiled and introduced me to the person making the toast. “This is Ren Dongxue from our department. Come, let’s do this together.”

I hurriedly shook hands with the other person. “Hello, Zhang Gong. Just call me Little Ren. It’s such an honor to meet you. Like this, I’ll drink three cups, you and the leader do as you please.”

I tilted my head back and downed three cups. A leader nearby who was also quite drunk sighed. “How come I don’t have such a sensible kid in my department? Mr. Feng, she’s like you when you were young.”

Old Feng smiled without speaking. After I drank a round, he asked, “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. I’ve been building my alcohol tolerance since I was little.”

“You should still rest a bit. Go eat some food.”

“Okay, call me if you need anything.”

I returned to my own table. The girl at the same table looked at me with a subtle expression—both disdainful and jealous.

I didn’t think it was anything. Socializing was the simplest thing—just needed to swallow your pride. They didn’t do it because they felt it wasn’t necessary to deal with old men for such a job. I did it because I felt it was necessary.

I went to the restroom to throw up once, and while there, scrolled through my social media feed. I happened to see a photo Cheng Xia posted.

It was probably a gathering of people from his program. He posted several photos from the restaurant. In one of them, he was holding a camera, and closest to him was a girl, her face bright with smiles.