I looked at him in disbelief. Under the starry sky, Yinze was beautiful like a watercolor painting. But such a good-looking person could truly do such things and say such words. This person—I had once liked him so recklessly, without regard for anything. That servant said Divine Lord Yinze was blind. I thought the one who was blind was me. Not wanting to show weakness before this man, nor wanting him to look down on me again. But my vision was blurred by tears, just barely about to spill over. I said with a trembling voice: “Is it interesting to toy with me like this?”

Yinze frowned without speaking. I said: “How can you be so selfish? Indeed, I confessed first, but I’ve never done anything to wrong you. You know I like you, yet you hurt me again and again. Are you trying to drive me to death?”

He inadvertently glanced up at me, and the air froze for a moment. In that brief instant, he showed an unprecedented expression, giving me the illusion that he, too, was deeply wounded. But illusions are just illusions after all. Suddenly, two streams of light flashed across the sky. He quickly looked up, then soon returned to his previous coldness: “I most dislike women threatening me with death.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t die, and I can’t bear to die. I like you so much…” In extreme anger, I almost blurted out, “There’s still your child in my belly, how could I bear to die?” but after thinking for a long time, I held it back. Yinze was so tired of me now that I couldn’t guarantee what he might do to this child. I sneered: “I like you so much, how could I bear to die?”

Unfortunately, though I deliberately concealed it, I couldn’t hide it from others. Just then, two men in golden robes landed beside us, and one of them said: “Divine Lord Yinze, this young lady is pregnant. May I ask what her relationship is to the Divine Lord?”

Yinze was stunned: “What…”

That golden-robed man’s eyes lit up as he looked me over: “She’s already three or four months along. Dare I ask the Divine Lord, is this your child?”

I immediately protected my abdomen and retreated several steps, ready to flee at any moment. Yinze closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them, his gaze cold as ice: “It’s not mine.”

That golden-robed man said, “Miss, the child’s father isn’t Divine Lord Yinze?”

“No.” I smiled and answered with unprecedented calm. “Divine Lord Yinze and I have no relationship whatsoever. The child’s father is someone else.”

“What a pity.” The golden-robed man smiled. “We were planning to congratulate the Divine Lord on his precious child.”

Finally, I understood—falling in love with someone takes only an instant. Seeing through someone, however, consumes all one’s beautiful years.

Looking back on the past, no matter how many tender words and old dreams, gentle spring breezes and soft affection, it was all just a one-person show. In my heart, I had fantasized countless times about spending this life with him, growing old together while gazing at each other, but it was nothing more than unrequited love on a long road at dusk. Whether it was that stunning first glance at our meeting or his cold retreating figure at parting, no matter how wonderful he was in my heart, how much he haunted my dreams, this person had absolutely nothing to do with me from the very beginning.

I think I was completely disheartened.

Due to overexertion, after returning to Suozhao, I was bedridden for several more days, spending the entire winter recovering. Interestingly, whenever no one was around, Su Shu would transform into human form to come care for me in my chambers, playing musical pieces for me. His skills were no inferior to Kongshu’s, but his music was more melodious, the ending notes always carrying a hint of flirtation, much like that smile between his brows and eyes. Once a maidservant heard the music and thought I was playing the qin, even teasing me that “the Little Princess has a child now, even her melodies carry romantic sentiment.”

After this, early spring quickly arrived. As time passed, my abdomen gradually grew heavy, and my pregnancy could no longer be hidden. An unmarried princess bearing a child—gossip flew wildly through the palace, sounding quite unpleasant. Under pressure from public opinion, my second sister also subtly hinted that I should quickly find someone to marry and give the child a father. But looking at my protruding belly, which good family’s son would be willing to marry in as a kept man? Moreover, in this situation, I only had one person left in my heart and had no mind for marriage.

This morning, the sun rose high over the mountains, and snow swelled the Luoshui. As the cold snow cleared, palace servants collected snow water to brew warm tea. Plum blossoms fell to earth and became mud, leaving only their fragrance behind. Treading through melting snow all over the mountains, passing fallen red petals covering the ground, I walked much more carefully than usual. It took nearly an hour to reach my brother’s grave. I bent down, used snow water to wash the dust from it, then placed the cherry blossoms I had picked from Azure Dragon Heaven before the tombstone.

“The cherry blossoms from Fahua Cherry Plain bloom in all four seasons. This branch can be kept until next year.” Looking at the large characters “Tomb of Brother Fu Chenzhi,” I smiled and caressed the tombstone. “Brother, don’t worry. I won’t wait until next year to visit you.”

During these days, I thought about many things. In the long journey of life, what constitutes true love, perhaps I have never fully understood. Two people spending a lifetime together ultimately seek nothing more than mutual respect and harmonious partnership. Passion is fleeting and fundamentally contradicts the enduring true love of flowing water—not many people can see through this point. Having thrown myself headlong at Yinze, I had long been blind and never gave my brother a chance, so naturally, I would never know whether he could have become a good husband.

The spring cold was sharp, and the clear wind scattered the grass on the grave. I picked a blade of grass from the tombstone and suddenly realized my brother had been gone for half a year. But the memories he left were so clear, as if he had never departed. That fair-skinned boy who pretended to be mature before his teacher, that youth who smiled gently beneath flowers in snow-white robes, that departing soul who confessed with wounds all over in the moonlight, that elder brother who protected me with his sword from demons and monsters… All his silhouettes were fragments pieced together across my sixty years of life.

I still remember that year in Fahua Cherry Plain, when we were both naive children. In that moment when you kissed me with such feeling, if all of that could happen again… I think I would trade half my lifespan for it.

You said that no matter how much pain and exhaustion I endured, as long as I turned around, I could immediately see you. Now I’ve turned around—where are you?

Alas, when you were passionate, I was indifferent; when I became passionate, you were already gone.

That summer, the lotus flowers in Suozhao bloomed exceptionally well. A sea of red burning across ten li of Luoshui, infinite flower shadows flying in crimson disorder, gazing distantly at the vermilion towers amid misty waters. In the dawn’s first light, I gave birth to a daughter and named her Xihe. Probably because her father was the Cangying God, when she was born crying, all the waters in Suozhao flowed freely, flowers bloomed in the air—truly a magnificent sight. Whether by Suozhao clan or divine realm customs, newborn children should not have surnames, but due to my longing for my brother, I still gave her the surname Fu.

Having a surname for the child was fine, but when it came to conferring her title, problems arose. The full-moon banquet was the latest time to determine a title, but not even knowing who the father was, my second sister felt very awkward before all the officials and could only hold Xihe while feigning ignorance. Among the old ministers, there were always one or two stubborn fellows who insisted on getting to the bottom of things. For example, the Prime Minister fearlessly stepped forward, bowing: “The Little Princess considers her maiden reputation and won’t speak—this minister deeply understands. But concerning royal bloodline and reputation, Your Majesty must explain regardless. Who exactly is Miss Xihe’s biological father?”

“This…” My second sister touched Xihe’s head, looking at me with difficulty. “The Prime Minister asks me this, but how would I know?”

The Prime Minister immediately turned his attention to me, demanding: “Little Princess, for the sake of the Suozhao royal family, please answer truthfully.”

“This is my child alone. She has no father.” Unlike my second sister, I had never shown mercy to these old ministers. No matter what they thought, they would only get this one answer.

“This minister has heard that Miss Xihe has a private surname.”

“Correct.”

“Whether in Suozhao or the outside world, there has never been a custom of children taking their uncle’s surname. Yet the Little Princess has Miss Xihe share a surname with His Highness Chenzhi. Could it be that…”

My second sister scolded: “Nonsense! My younger siblings are pure and innocent. How can the Prime Minister speak so immoderately?”

Just as the Prime Minister was about to kowtow in apology, I said: “Correct. This child is indeed Chenzhi’s.”

At these words, everyone was shocked. My second sister looked at me in disbelief, and all the princes and ministers began discussing among themselves. I said unhurriedly, “Fu Chenzhi and I have no blood relation. What crime is there in a man and woman loving each other and being together? We had long privately pledged ourselves to each other and made marriage vows. It’s only because he unfortunately died that you don’t have the chance to question me here.”

“Outrageous, truly outrageous.” At this moment, another voice rang out from the doorway. “The child is mine. Weiwei, do you find me so unseemly?”

Hearing this voice call me “Weiwei,” I got goosebumps all over my face. I saw Su Shu lifting his robes to enter, poking in a face as beautiful as a feast for the eyes. Su Shu had never shown his face publicly before. His appearance stirred up the scene like stir-fried bean sprouts with chicken feathers—complete chaos.

Fortunately, my second sister reacted quickly and dragged Kongshu over, finally preventing rumors of two women serving one man from spreading. After that, Su Shu insisted the child was his while I insisted the child was Fu Chenzhi’s. Many of the older ministers couldn’t accept this and, having their hearts stimulated, retired early.

Su Shu didn’t feel bad about it at all. He graciously introduced himself, saying he was the spirit of Su Lian, and since Su Lian was an immortal flower and Luoshui was divine water, the marriage between the Lotus King and the Little Princess of the Suozhao clan was like phoenixes mating—a perfect match under heaven. Most importantly, when he smiled, he looked harmless, elegant with a few traces of romantic charm, and some people thought what he said made considerable sense.

In short, Xihe’s full-moon banquet became a farce, and no one pursued whose child she was anymore.

When we returned to my chambers, I didn’t know whether to scold Su Shu severely or sincerely thank him. Finally, I placed Xihe on the bed, turned around expressionlessly to observe him, wondering what medicine he was selling in his gourd.

However, what I never expected was that he looked at me with smiling eyes for a while, feeling no shame or guilt whatsoever, then lifted my chin and kissed me. I avoided his lips, quickly retreated a step, and patted my chest: “What kind of tricks are you playing!”

Su Shu’s reaction was so normal it was abnormal: “The Little Princess looked at Su Shu with such burning eyes—wasn’t it because you were expecting something?”

“Of course not!” I pointed at him with trembling fingers. “Su Shu, open your eyes wide and see clearly who’s in front of you. I’m the Little Princess of Suozhao, the mother of a full-moon daughter. Your courage is truly too great…”

“When you put it that way, it makes me even more interested.” He actually pushed me down on the bed, smiled gently, planted a tender kiss on my forehead, his fingers sliding down my hair to my waist, proceeding to untie my sash. “Young mother, you’re even more enticing than an eighteen-year-old girl. Little Princess, let me be Xihe’s father from now on.”

Regardless of whether this fellow’s taste was somewhat overwhelming, daring to treat this Little Princess so rudely naturally resulted in death without a burial place. In the end, he was beaten by me with ice rods until he fled back to the pond to continue being a quiet little lotus flower. I threw him a warning glare and went back to coax the crying Xihe to sleep.

I remember as a child, I often fantasized about becoming a flower demon. Because flower demons were beautiful and clean, unlike fox spirits with their seductive aura. Su Shu was a flower spirit, which could be considered in the same lineage as flower demons, and his face truly lived up to this race. Just standing anywhere casually, he was breathtakingly beautiful, thousands of times more charming than the Kongshu he had modeled himself after. Even when my second sister passed by occasionally, she would be attracted by his grace, causing my brother-in-law’s jealousy to overflow.

However, many beautiful things are as pure and simple as fools, and Su Shu, being in human form for the first time, was naturally no exception. From that first time letting loose, he launched a fierce offensive against me, without any subtlety or strategy. Whenever there was an opportunity, he would push me against walls, pounce on me on beds, or hold me sitting on his lap—pervasive and quite annoying.

But thinking from another angle, he truly had a heart as beautiful as a flower. When Xihe cried incessantly in the middle of the night, he would be the first to rush over to care for her, waving his hand to make all the flowers in the room bloom at once, making Xihe laugh heartily. He never got angry and rarely even frowned. When encountering conflicts, he could always cleverly change the subject, and even Xuanyue liked him very much.

One day a year later, Su Shu and I were holding Xihe playing by the Luoshui. Xihe was riding on Xuanyue’s back, running everywhere, and in a flash, both child and beast disappeared. Su Shu took this opportunity to push me down on the grass again. Out of instinctive reaction, I pushed him away as usual, but finally couldn’t help asking: “Young Master Su, I’ve never understood—you’re truly as beautiful as a flower. Why don’t you go find other girls? Even if you like mothers of children, in this vast world, they’re not hard to find. Why must you persist with me?”

“Because Su Shu only has the Little Princess in his heart.” He answered quickly. Another answer without going through his brain.

“Do you like me?”

“Mm, very much.” I looked at him helplessly for a long while and sighed: “This isn’t called liking. Liking isn’t such a simple matter.”

“Is that so? Su Shu hasn’t thought too much about it. I just feel happy being with the Little Princess, so I want to do intimate things with the Little Princess. If the Little Princess doesn’t like it…” He smiled as sweetly as flower honey. “Su Shu won’t give up either. As the saying goes, when a woman has spring feelings, a gentleman should entice her. The Little Princess also has spring feelings.” Misusing classical references again. Usually, Young Master Su had nothing to do but read books in his room, specifically picking out drama scripts to read, telling Xihe and Xuanyue many moving little stories. He just wanted a woman, but mistook this for love. I didn’t know whether to call him too pure or too lewd.

I sighed long toward the sky, just thinking of enlightening him, but nearly got kissed by him, then engaged in another round of struggle with him. Only later, when Xuanyue and Xihe started fighting over a beautiful stone, did he finally let me go to tend to the child.

Turning to look, Xuanyue had been knocked rolling away by Xihe’s head butt. I thought to myself that this child would be fiercer than I was as a child. Su Shu walked over, picked up one child in each arm, and walked toward me with a beaming smile.

When I reached out to take my daughter, I touched the azure jade ring on my finger. Thus, I remembered the ring’s original owner and the pain he had brought me. I suddenly realized it had been a year since I last saw him. Previously, I had always thought living with a fatherless child would be more torturous than being thrown into boiling oil. But things weren’t like that. Seeing Xihe’s happy smile in the sunlight, her eyes full of water-like brightness, her upturned little nose extremely cute—at this moment, I felt truly happy and satisfied. As for Yinze, I only hoped that time could eventually erase the scars he had left in my memories.

This afternoon, with warm summer sun and fragrant roses, seeing Su Shu walking over holding Xuanyue and Xihe, I never would have imagined that this simple yet frivolous man, seemingly a temporary guest who wouldn’t stay long, would never leave after this. Life is like this—the people we initially set our hearts on, the people we refuse to give up on even unto death, often fade away and disappear when we least notice, becoming like smoke over water. But sometimes, a person who stops by for temporary shelter will quietly remain for decades without us realizing it.

I must admit, Su Shu was quite a persistent person. No matter what kind of rejection he faced, he persisted in pestering me through wind and rain. It wasn’t until an autumn night twenty-four years later that there was some change.

As Yinze and Divine Lord Lingyin had predicted, the natural disaster and drought continued for decades, and Suozhao was also significantly affected. Over twenty-four years, water sources gradually dried up, and the climate deteriorated—this was chronic poisoning for any race, especially for the Suozhao clan and plant spirits. My spiritual power was stronger, so I didn’t feel overly uncomfortable, but Su Shu fell ill for the first time, unconscious for four days and nights. I kept watch by his bedside, and whenever Xihe wasn’t studying, she would run over to see him too. On the fourth day, he finally woke up, looking at me with red eyes: “Little Princess… why are you here?”

“You’re so sick, of course I have to be here.” I lifted his head and brought the brewed medicine to his lips. “Come, drink this. You’ll recover after drinking it.”

He glanced at the medicine in the bowl and shook his head: “I’m not sick simply from drought. Don’t waste such good medicine.”

“Then what is it?”

“All things transform into spirits, spirits return to all things—my time to return to spirit is approaching.” The so-called time to return to spirit was no different from dying. My heart tightened, then I thought it was impossible and looked at him disdainfully: “Do you take me for Xihe, so easily fooled? Returning to spirit after just over twenty years—are you too low-level, or is Su Lian too low-level? If you’re sick, you’re sick. Don’t make excuses to avoid taking medicine.”

“You’re still clever—I can’t fool you.” He laughed and obediently sat up to drink the medicine. Then a red leaf fell from a branch, floating onto the bedside. His lips and complexion were completely bloodless, forming a stark contrast with that deep red fallen leaf. He looked up at me, hair like seaweed, face whiter than snow, shoulders much thinner than before, yet smiling with elegant grace: “Thank you for the medicine, Little Princess.”

“No need to thank me. I only hope you recover quickly.”

Su Shu lowered his gaze, lay back against the headboard, and sighed gently, his voice so soft it was almost inaudible. After that, I stayed in the room with him a while longer. He looked somewhat tired, his gaze inadvertently passing over me but never lingering. I originally thought he was acting this way because he was sick, but after that night, though he still spoke flirtatiously, he never again made intimate gestures toward me. I thought he resented me, so I went to tease him instead, touching his hair and face, but he only avoided me with heavy thoughts. I never could understand his mind, yet I vaguely felt this scene was somewhat familiar.

After that, we continued as before—whenever we had free time, we would drink wine and play music in the garden, admiring flowers and watching the moon. Then we passed another mundane sixteen years.

This year, Xihe was forty, and I had just turned one hundred. On what should have been a day for celebration, from top to bottom in Suozhao, there were complaints everywhere and many deaths. Because the drought had continued until now, even the vast sea had dried up by one-third, the nine heavens and six realms were in turmoil, and corpses of the starved filled the wilds. Worse still, at this critical juncture, the divine and demon realms had once again opened the curtain on war, with the gods having no time to deal with the drought, accelerating the speed of water source depletion. Now, no matter where one went, one could see living beings eating grass roots and tree bark for sustenance, and some even resorting to cannibalism. Throughout the six realms, demons ran rampant, all in chaos, and demons that had never been seen before could now be encountered from time to time. I gradually realized that if we continued waiting passively like this, Suozhao would sooner or later face great disaster, so I decided to temporarily leave my homeland and go out to find methods of governance.