“Because she’s already fallen in love with this prince consort, deeply smitten and unable to extricate herself.”

Song Langsheng’s words made my face twitch involuntarily. For a moment, various thoughts surged to my heart. Nie Ran released my hand in shock, while Song Langsheng took the hand he had released, raising an eyebrow, “If Director Nie has no other business…”

Before he could finish, Nie Ran interrupted, “Then what about you toward her? Is it genuine or are you using her?”

This question stunned me first.

Song Langsheng cast a deep, affectionate gaze at me, then returned it to Nie Ran. Just when I thought he was going to say something sickeningly sweet, he said, “Naturally I’m using her.”

…I looked at him sideways. He very calmly looked at Nie Ran and said, “What’s wrong with that?”

Nie Ran gave me a thin smile tinged with mockery, “You know he’s using you, yet you’re still willing?”

I didn’t know what tune Song the Prince Consort was singing, nor had I decided whether to cooperate with his act. But seeing the mockery in Nie Ran’s smile, I simply remained silent. Song Langsheng curved his lips, took my hand, walked around Nie Ran to the carriage, lowered the curtain, and had the driver head back to the mansion.

Since the carriage was hired temporarily, it wasn’t as spacious as the ones at the mansion. Song Langsheng and I sat side by side, pressed quite close together with nowhere to hide. Not knowing what to say, the carriage fell silent for a while.

My mind was in chaos – sometimes wondering why Song Langsheng had appeared there, sometimes wondering if his fever had broken and if he’d taken his medicine, sometimes wondering if he’d spoken to Nie Ran that way just to deliberately provoke him. After thinking for a long time, I just didn’t dare ask. It was strange – my attitude toward Song Langsheng had always been straightforward. Whatever confused me, I’d ask for clarification; whatever I suspected, I’d question directly, seeking only honesty without deception. Why was I being so hesitant now?

After a while, Song Langsheng suddenly asked, “Are you thinking about him?”

I was startled and turned to look at him. Song Langsheng paused, “Are you thinking about the meaning behind Nie Ran’s words?”

Nie Ran? Yes, what did Nie Ran’s words mean? Logically, he knew I had lived with him for over a year – how could I possibly be the princess’s body double during that time? He repeatedly mentioned mortal danger – why this argument?

Seeing I didn’t answer, Song Langsheng asked again, “When I said I was using you, his anger was hard to conceal, and he only asked your opinion. Are you thinking that he still cares about you after all?”

Where did this come from? I instinctively shook my head, “He feels guilty toward me after all. It’s understandable that he’d show some concern… But you, acting like a child saying such nonsense, as if deliberately showing off to make people laugh.”

Song Langsheng looked up at me, “I was just testing him. If he truly cared for you, he wouldn’t let this go.”

I said helplessly, “If he doesn’t let this go, what will you do?”

Song Langsheng was quiet for a moment, then said, “That would depend on what the princess thinks.”

I leaned back and continued my silence. Song Langsheng asked, “If he still has feelings for the princess, what would you do?”

I glanced at him, feeling Song Langsheng’s words carried a tone of distrust. So he wasn’t testing Nie Ran but this princess. I said, “What else could I do? Weep with joy and have our broken mirror mended.”

Song Langsheng tightened his grip on my hand, “What did you say?”

I said, “Broken mirror mended.”

The next moment, Song Langsheng’s other hand forcefully gripped my chin, pinching painfully. He asked in a low voice, “Say that again.”

Knowing I wasn’t as strong as him, I was too lazy to struggle free. I looked directly at him, “You could try applying more force and just dislocate my jaw directly. Then this princess couldn’t say anything, which would suit you perfectly.”

Song Langsheng was stunned, only then realizing he had overreacted. He quickly released his hand and helplessly caressed my chin, frowning without saying a word. Seeing him like this, I couldn’t help but laugh, “Alright, I won’t tease you anymore.”

Song Langsheng gave me a puzzled look.

I smiled with pursed lips, “You made me look like a lovesick fool in front of Nie Ran. How could I not get back at you?”

Song Langsheng raised his eyebrows slightly, “So you’re angry that I tested Nie Ran?”

I said, “Actually, you probably can’t make Nie Ran angry. The situation between him and me isn’t what you think. I never liked him at all, and he has no feelings for me either. What I was thinking about before was Xu Fang. Understand?”

“Aren’t they the same person?”

I spread my hands, “I originally didn’t want to mention it, but your paranoid suspicions are troubling. Alright, my situation with Xu Fang was like this…”

Outside the window, thick clouds covered the sky with no moonlight or stars visible. Inside the carriage it was pitch black – you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. So even when I spoke of sad parts, Song Langsheng couldn’t see my tears. Perhaps… I could choose to speak simply or not at all, but sometimes once you start, it’s like opening a floodgate – you get more and more excited, more and more unable to stop.

That story, those beautiful, happy, bittersweet, and painful memories – from the moment Xu Fang disappeared, they existed only in my mind alone.

That night in the mountain forest, Nie Ran said he would never be able to remember those memories for the rest of his life, indicating I needn’t continue. Actually, even if he never recovered his memories, it didn’t matter. I just hoped he could listen to Xu Fang’s story and remember Xu Fang, not let Xu Fang just disappear from this world in an instant.

But he wouldn’t even give me that chance.

I had once confided in Wei Qingheng, but his response was, “All your current emotions stem from that one year of memories. But Princess, you also had nineteen years before that. Have you ever considered which weighs more?”

I didn’t like him saying that. If feelings had to be measured by time, if my nineteen years of life told me Xu Fang was just a passerby, if even I began to gradually forget those memories, who would be left to prove Xu Fang had existed in this world?

In a moment of impulse, I told Song Langsheng all this. Though he was also an unsolvable mystery, at least when he was there, I could always feel an inexplicable sense of peace.

Admittedly, Song Langsheng wasn’t a very good listener.

He would always interrupt when I was speaking excitedly, with comments like “This is playing hard to get,” “He didn’t do anything improper to you? Really?” “How could he leave you alone at the inn? He should have taken you away directly! Why go back!”

…

Later, Song Langsheng completely looked like he wanted to immediately grab a knife and go kill Nie Ran. All the sadness and remembrance were completely disrupted by his fussing. I had to remind him, “If he had taken me to the ends of the earth, I wouldn’t be sitting in front of you now.”

Song Langsheng’s hand lifting the curtain paused in midair, then he obediently sat back down, gripping my hand tightly and refusing to let go. After a long time, he said, “I’m sorry.”

I looked at him in confusion, “It’s not your fault. Why are you apologizing?”

Song Langsheng lowered his head and said sullenly, “If not for me, the princess wouldn’t have lost her memory, wouldn’t have gone missing, and none of this would have happened.”

Though I had long suspected it, hearing him admit it personally made me sigh involuntarily. But listening to his apologetic voice and the faintly visible glimmer in his eyes, my heart felt like a warm flame had been lit, slowly soothing my sadness.

I said, “Hey, so you’re saying my current state is all due to your deliberate scheming?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then it was an unintentional mistake?”

“…”

I held up five fingers, though he might not see them clearly in this light, “In five more months, I’ll be able to recover all my memories.”

Song Langsheng was silent.

I said, “My previous assumption was… you wanted to do something during this time. But then I thought that wasn’t right. Strictly speaking, I could recover those memories you don’t want to reveal to me at any moment. So even if you told me, what harm would there be?”

Song Langsheng remained silent, silent to the point where I almost wanted to say something else to provoke him, when he suddenly said, “Perhaps it’s because I don’t know where to begin either.”

His voice was somewhat low in the darkness, “I can’t fathom what the princess was thinking then, can’t believe the princess would make such a choice in that situation. But I did hurt the princess after all. I’m afraid that from the moment I tell the princess the truth, she’ll resent me and leave me. If this day must come eventually, it’s better to delay it as long as possible…”

“I won’t.”

I placed my other hand over the back of his, looking seriously in his direction, “I won’t resent you. Even when Nie Ran treated me that way, I never resented him. Song Langsheng, don’t think me so petty.”

“That’s different… Princess, at least Xu Fang never wronged you.”

Complete silence.

The crescent moon somehow emerged again, shining through the carriage window. Song Langsheng probably sensed I was looking at him, turned his bright dark eyes toward me, then lowered his lashes and turned his head back.

I knew no matter what, I couldn’t get anything out of him, so I gave up, “You’re being honest now at least. Fine, I won’t force you. Anyway, you just don’t want to say.”

Song Langsheng said, “The princess finally understands.”

I was left speechless, but after thinking it over, I felt unwilling to give up, “But I told you about Xu Fang and me. Now I have no secrets left in front of you, while you’re nothing but mysteries to me from head to toe. It’s not fair.”

“So?”

“So you also have to share one of your stories with me.”

Song Langsheng looked at me sideways again, this time actually amused, “Ask whatever the princess likes. I’ll know and choose my words, speaking within limits.”

“…”

This was a good opportunity to extract information. Since I was asking, I should ask about things I wouldn’t know even after recovering my memories…

I thought for a moment and asked, “I want to know… the story of that fan.”

“Fan?”

“Yes, that fan whose surface I tore and you mended, painted with flowers and grass. It seems like your sweetheart gave it to you, and you treasure it very much.”

Song Langsheng made an “oh” sound. I casually stole glances at him – his expression didn’t change much, “That fan wasn’t given to me by her, but something I promised to paint for her. Unfortunately, I never got to give it to her.”

I nodded.

Song Langsheng also nodded.

I: “…That’s it?”

Song Langsheng said, “What else?”

“No, does anyone tell stories like that with no beginning or end… The cause? The result? What happened? Who was she? When and where did you paint the fan? Why didn’t you give it to her?”

Song Langsheng lifted his sleeve to his mouth and coughed lightly, “Those… it’s a long story…”

I glared at him, “Even if it’s long, you have to tell it, and no condensing a long story into a short one.”

Song Langsheng smiled slightly, “Fine, but the princess must promise not to get jealous after hearing it.”

I perked up, “This princess is very broad-minded.”

Song Langsheng found a comfortable position to lean against, looked up and blinked as if reminiscing, “About six or seven years ago, I was still a candidate for the imperial examinations. Because my family was poor, in my spare time I’d go into the city to paint fan surfaces and set up a small stall. We lived in the outskirts of the capital. After the sun set and I packed up, I’d take a detour to the nearby mountains to gather firewood and fetch water. It was during that time I rescued a little girl who was trapped in the mountains.”

I made a long “oh” sound and grinned wickedly, “Hero saves beauty…”

“I was no hero and she wasn’t beautiful. Not only was she not beautiful, she was quite troublesome. After I rescued her, she just cried about being orphaned, encountering bandits, fleeing to this place, not knowing where home was, and so on. All nonsense anyway. But thinking she was just a little girl, I couldn’t bear to abandon her, so I had to take her home temporarily for a few days before making other plans.”

I made another long “ah” sound, “That little girl must have taken a fancy to you and did it on purpose, with deliberate intent.”

Hearing this, Song Langsheng smiled noncommittally and continued, “That little girl was indeed very strange. She claimed to be a country girl, yet her hands were delicate, not like someone accustomed to rough work. But if she were a lady from a noble family, such a big disappearance wouldn’t go unnoticed. She always wore a face veil, saying her appearance was extremely ugly and unbearable to look at. When I studied, she wouldn’t disturb me but would sit quietly nearby reading books too. I was surprised that this little girl of only about ten could read the entire ‘Spring and Autumn Annals’ and could discuss it reasonably. Later, when I got tired of reading, I’d try talking with her. Her viewpoints were often topsy-turvy but quite interesting and amusing.”

I pointed up with my finger, “A little girl with hidden depths. What happened next?”

“Later…” Song Langsheng smiled, “Later one day, she disappeared.”

I asked, “Where did she go?”

Song Langsheng shook his head, “She just left a note with four words: ‘I will return.'”

“Then what?”

“Then I continued preparing for the examination.”

“Did you miss her?”

Song Langsheng curved his lips, “At first I was indeed relieved, feeling I’d lost a burden. But after a few days, I really did miss her and worried she might get into trouble alone. Those days when I gathered firewood, I’d take extra detours around the mountain, afraid she might accidentally fall into some trap again, calling out to heaven and earth with no response.”

I asked with a smile, “So when did you meet again and where?”

Song Langsheng said, “Half a month later, someone appeared at my stall, smiling and asking how much I charged for a fan.”

“Was it her?”

“Mm.”

“Then what, then what?”

“Then I said it depended on what was painted. She said she wanted the most unique one. I laughed and said that would be priceless. She beamed with joy and helped me sell fans, then afterward went home with me.”

Priceless? I thought about it and suddenly understood, “So you promised to give her a specially painted, unique fan just for her – that one later?”

Song Langsheng nodded.

“Then what? Did she say who she was?”

Song Langsheng said, “She wore palace maid clothing, so naturally she was a palace maid. At that time, the former Crown Prince was recuperating at Yulong Villa. She was a maid who had accompanied the Crown Prince out of the palace. Yulong Villa was also in the outskirts of the capital, so we happened to meet.”

I said in surprise, “So she was my brother’s maid… What happened later?”

“Later… later she told me she might have to return to the palace soon.”

“Mm.”

“So… I suddenly felt very reluctant to let her go…”

“Mm.”

Song Langsheng smiled, “So I promised her I’d try my best to do well in the imperial examination, and after she was released from the palace, I’d marry her properly.”

I pondered for a moment, then suddenly had a thought and became nervous, “Hey… it couldn’t be that she’s still waiting for you in the palace, and you’re still waiting to marry her… then halfway through, Cheng Yaojin appears – that’s me – I forced you to be my prince consort… so that’s why you hate me so much? You wholeheartedly wanted to poison me with Forget-Soul Powder, hoping to leave me and marry her? But later you discovered I treated you well, so you fell into deep self-blame and internal conflict? Then I… wouldn’t I be utterly wicked?”

—I am the dividing line—

Song Langsheng looked at me sideways, “Don’t let your imagination run too wild.”

I sheepishly made an “oh” sound, “So… she was at Yulong Villa, you were in your country cottage, and you’d secretly meet when you had spare time?”

Song Langsheng wasn’t annoyed by my phrasing and just smiled, “She cleverly found a big tree and had me wait under it every day at the wei hour. During that period, I even began worrying whether I could pass the imperial examination – my heart had scattered to the ninth heaven.”

I smiled, “Then why didn’t you end up together?”

Song Langsheng’s expression froze, and he lowered his eyes, “Just on the day I finished painting the fan and wanted to give it to her, my family encountered misfortune. Before I could tell her, my father suddenly took my mother and me away from the capital.”

I asked doubtfully, “What do you mean? Had your father made enemies outside?”

Song Langsheng smiled in an enigmatic way, “Something like that.”

His smile was extremely unnatural, his lips curved stiffly. Knowing he didn’t want to elaborate, I just said, “So you abandoned that little palace maid and left alone?”

Song Langsheng said self-mockingly, “If I had simply abandoned her and left alone, that would have been better. But I was young and shallow then. Not long after leaving the city gate, I regretted it. I was afraid she’d wait foolishly for a long time at our meeting place, and also feared that this departure would mean we’d never meet again in this lifetime.”

“So you went back to find her?”

Song Langsheng said, “I wasn’t sure if she’d be willing to leave with me. Even if she wasn’t willing, I wanted to see her face under the veil. If I could return to the capital in the future, at least we wouldn’t pass each other without recognition.”

I asked curiously, “Why wouldn’t she show her true appearance?”

“She always said she was extremely ugly and didn’t want me to see.” Song Langsheng smiled as he remembered, a nostalgic smile, “But from what I could see, the exposed parts of her skin were somewhat red and swollen, as if she had some condition. Women always love beauty – not wanting others to see is human nature.”

I nodded, “What happened next? Did you meet?”

“Since she was the former Crown Prince’s maid, when the Crown Prince returned to the palace, she would naturally accompany him. When I rushed back, the time had passed, but she was still waiting under the tree. The moment she turned around, I also saw her face.”

I instinctively asked, “Was she beautiful?”

Song Langsheng said, “Beautiful. Actually, no matter what she looked like, to me, she was beautiful. I don’t know what came over me then – perhaps from worrying and fearing all the way – the moment I saw her, I embraced her and asked if she was willing to wander the world with me.”

Hearing him describe it this way, somehow a trace of sourness rose in my heart. I said, “Then… was she willing?”

Song Langsheng said, “She said yes, but needed to go back and pack her belongings. We agreed to meet at the you hour. Hah, every moment of waiting was torturous, but fortunately she came, and afterward, she left the capital with me.”

I said unexpectedly, “Then, then, then shouldn’t you two have been together? Where is she now?”

Song Langsheng’s voice trembled slightly, “There was no ‘afterward.’ Later she died.”

“What do you mean she died? She was perfectly fine.” I grabbed his sleeve, “Explain clearly.”

Song Langsheng was silent for a very long time, so long that only the sound of horse hooves on the night road could be heard outside the carriage window. After a long while, he finally spoke.

“We encountered skilled ambushers on the road. Two fists can’t fight four hands – I couldn’t protect her.”

“Who was it? Who wanted to harm you?”

Song Langsheng suddenly turned his head and glanced at me with a strange expression that made me inexplicably feel cold, yet I clearly couldn’t understand it. I stammered, “Were those people the enemies pursuing your parents?”

Song Langsheng’s expression paused for a moment before he said, “Mm.”

I said, “Your martial arts are so good – how could you not protect her? Why did she die while you survived? Song Langsheng… how could you bear to watch your beloved die before your eyes?”

With an indescribable expression, Song Langsheng struggled to utter a few words, “The ambush was too numerous to resist. To keep her safe, I had her ride ahead first while I jumped down to fight those people as rear guard. Who would have thought…”

I waited for him to continue.

“She hadn’t gone far when she fell from the horse, hit her head, and lost too much blood…” Song Langsheng pressed his lips together and said bleakly, “I was thoughtless. Because I had taught her to ride before, I felt safe letting her go alone. I didn’t expect the situation to be so critical that she’d panic and lose control… it was my fault—”

I gently patted the back of his hand, not knowing how to comfort him. He slowly exhaled, seeming to try to steady his emotions, “I killed all the assassins but was severely wounded. After burying her, I went to find my parents, only to discover… they had waited for me and were trapped in a village struck by plague. The local corrupt official, fearing the epidemic would spread to neighboring counties, sealed off the entire village. By the time I arrived, they had already contracted the plague and were beyond help.”

I suddenly regretted very much having Song Langsheng recall this story.

I couldn’t imagine the feelings of a spirited young man who had to watch his family and lover fall before his eyes, forever separated by life and death. Was his heart full of wounds after that night?

A drop of water splashed onto the back of my hand, and my heart suddenly ached, like a silver needle piercing my heart.

I choked and murmured, “Don’t cry anymore…”

“Fool.” A hand gently brushed past my eyes, “Figure out who’s crying.”

I looked up at him, my vision finally blurred. I closed my eyes, but the soreness wouldn’t go away, as if something was pressing against my eyelids, forcing them open and overflowing.

Song Langsheng tapped my head, “You’re crying so enthusiastically – what does that make me, the person involved, feel?”

I wiped my tears and said, “This shows this princess has a pure heart and is especially sensitive, okay?”

Song Langsheng rubbed his forehead helplessly and smiled, “Being sensitive never solves problems. If I had only known how to grieve sadly, I couldn’t have become the top scholar or entered the court to gain power. Admittedly, I did think about revenge then, but I knew I could assassinate that corrupt official, yet couldn’t prevent another corrupt official from coming after him to harm more people. I could personally kill those black-clothed men, yet couldn’t bring the mastermind who ordered the black-clothed assassins to justice.”

Though Song Langsheng’s tone remained calm, I heard a steely resolve in these plain words.

Unlike Wei Qingheng’s calm composure and contentment with poverty; different from Han Fei’s tenacious unyielding spirit unafraid of cold frost; unlike Nie Ran’s aloof coldness and steady brilliance.

In his eyes, there was no deep resentment, no empty nobility, no leaning against railings in vain sighs, but the will of his heart.

I said, “Later, didn’t your enemies come to eliminate you completely?”

Song Langsheng laughed, “Everything sounds different when the princess says it…”

I smiled with pursed lips, “Now the sapling has grown into a big tree with deep roots. Who could easily move the Chief of the Court of Judicial Review?”

Song Langsheng’s eyes flashed with an emotion I couldn’t understand, “Perhaps it’s still far from enough…”

“What?”

He said, “Nothing, just that later… I randomly found some charges and had that corrupt official executed.”

“…So it was using public office for private revenge?”

Song Langsheng said matter-of-factly, “Yes.”

I suppressed a laugh and patted his shoulder, “What an upright Master Song.” After thinking, “Did you find out who was behind the pursuit and killing?”

The hand holding mine trembled imperceptibly. I thought perhaps I had again stirred up memories of that tragic night.

Song Langsheng hummed softly.

I asked, “What about revenge? Did you get revenge?”

Song Langsheng’s hand grew moist, “Perhaps… it’s been avenged.”

“What do you mean perhaps? If it’s avenged, it’s avenged; if not, it’s not.”

Song Langsheng said, “What exactly counts as getting revenge – taking the other party’s life or causing them pain? But if I got revenge, would I then become someone else’s enemy? Right and wrong, black and white have always been difficult to sum up in one word.” He touched my head, “The princess asked so many questions tonight, and I answered so many. Can I choose not to answer now?”

I nodded slightly, feeling that the more I understood about Song Langsheng, the less I could see through him.

The carriage needed only one more turn to reach the princess mansion directly. Song Langsheng had the driver stop. Seeing my surprise, he said, “Stop thinking about who was behind my assassination. Since the princess is feigning death to investigate who’s behind your assassination, if you’re acting, you must act thoroughly. How can you brazenly return through the front gate?”

I smiled bitterly at him. So after all my private scheming, he could guess the details without much thought.

He helped me down from the carriage and led me forward. The night was deep with heavy dew. He seemed somewhat worried and simply pulled me close, strolling through the night.

My heart warmed. Looking at my men’s clothing, I smiled, “Afraid people will see and suspect we’re cut-sleeves?”

Song Langsheng gave a perfunctory smile without answering me. I looked up, using the moonlight to see that face still radiant in profile, his expression unruly, just… somewhat desolate.

What was he thinking about? Was he missing that little palace maid?

I sighed.

Actually… my pressing questions about whether he had gotten revenge weren’t because I truly hoped he was still living in hatred… but rather, if revenge was taken and blood debts settled, he could probably find peace, right?

“Hey, Song.”

Song Langsheng turned his head, “What?”

“About that fan… why did you paint the blazing sun, bees, and flowers?”

Song Langsheng thought briefly, “Because of her name – quite fitting.”

“Her name? What was she called?”

Song Langsheng said clearly, “Cai Mi, the ‘cai’ of gathering, the ‘mi’ of honey.”

Cai Mi.

When this name unexpectedly drilled into my ears, my originally clear thoughts again fell into a whirlpool of confusion.

I felt somewhat unsteady on my feet.

Blurry figures and sweet voices flashed through my mind like a passing parade.

“This servant is Cai Mi. After learning palace rules and etiquette, I serve under Teacher Zhong Cui. My qualifications are still shallow…”

“This servant Cai Mi will never forget the princess’s great kindness and is willing to serve the princess for life…”

“Why does the princess always make this servant worry? You promised to return before the hai hour, but just now you nearly got discovered…”

“From now on, whatever the princess’s affairs, Cai Mi will go through fire and water without hesitation.”