One of the two large bulges on Wang Daxia’s chest instantly deflated. It truly was “viewed horizontally as ridges, from the side as peaks – the distant view varies high and low.”
Wang Daxia simply reached into his chest and pulled out the other packet of hot chestnuts. His chest immediately became flat as a plain. Looking at Wei Caiwei and Lu Ying’s astonished gazes, he said, “Don’t think I’m a pervert – let me explain everything…”
Wei Caiwei and Lu Ying weren’t like the women in traditional story books who would cover their ears and shake their heads screaming “I won’t listen, I won’t listen!” when a man wanted to explain.
The two of them sat down, drinking tea and eating hot chestnuts (yes, exactly the packet Wang Daxia had just pulled out – they taste best when eaten hot) while listening to Wang Daxia explain how he had gone with the flow and flirted with the stinking Taoist.
When he got to the part where the stinking Taoist claimed “I’m very fast, won’t delay you from going home to cook,” Wei Caiwei, the experienced woman of the world, was eating chestnuts and nearly choked, needing half a cup of water to swallow.
Lu Ying, however, looked completely puzzled, not understanding what this meant.
Wei Caiwei had already taken Wang Daxia’s first kiss, agreed to let him and Lu Ying act as lovers, and generously promised that aside from maintaining his virginity, he could do anything else and she wouldn’t mind.
But she never expected Wang Daxia to be taken advantage of by the person who had kidnapped her. The man had touched his hand and even his waist.
If it had been Lu Ying touching him, that would be fine.
The seriously double-standard Wei Caiwei surged with killing intent: Just watch me chop off that stinking Taoist’s hands! I haven’t even touched his waist!
After hearing Wang Daxia’s explanation, Lu Ying said, “So it’s people from Prince Jing’s mansion who mean Doctor Wei harm?”
Wei Caiwei said, “It’s probably that dead eunuch Wei. I embarrassed him that day at Qionghua Island, so he’s taking revenge when the opportunity arose. He also saw with his own eyes that you two are together and getting along well, thinking I had fallen from favor and lost my protective umbrella, so he sent people to kidnap me.”
Thinking of the danger when Wei Caiwei had bled to save her life that day, Wang Daxia wanted to chop up both the stinking Taoist and Eunuch Wei. “Tomorrow at Santong Inn, I’ll go into the room with him, capture him on the spot, and force him to confess that Eunuch Wei was the mastermind. Since Prince Jing has already fallen from favor and Eunuch Wei has also lost power, our Embroidered Uniform Guard isn’t afraid of some steward eunuch from a prince’s mansion.”
Lu Ying thought more deeply than Wang Daxia, “The stinking Taoist said all his fellow priests went out – to do what? Are they planning another operation against Doctor Wei? Just catching the stinking Taoist alone won’t be useful. All the Taoists at Bailu Temple are suspicious.”
Wang Daxia immediately said, “Then arrest them all, throw them in the torture chamber, and prying open one person’s mouth will be enough.”
Lu Ying reminded him, “Prince Jing is still a prince after all, and Bailu Temple is Prince Jing’s private property. Do you think the Embroidered Uniform Guard can act however it wants and trespass on a prince’s territory?”
Wang Daxia paced around anxiously, “Then what do we do? Can’t we do anything about that dead eunuch?”
Lu Ying said, “Doctor Wei’s revenge must be taken, and the suspicious points that should be investigated must be clarified. Also, are you certain that stinking Taoist is the person from the wanted poster? To be cautious, someone who met him face to face needs to personally verify.”
Wei Caiwei said, “I’ll go. I bargained with him when getting in the carriage. I remember his appearance and can recognize his voice.”
Wang Daxia didn’t want Wei Caiwei to take risks again, “Besides you, Constable Wu from Shuntian Prefecture also saw his appearance and spoke with him. I’ll still ask Constable Wu for help. In this dusty weather, everyone wears eye gauze and people standing face to face don’t recognize each other. Let Constable Wu go to Santong Inn to identify the stinking Taoist.”
Wei Caiwei’s body had just recovered and her face had regained some color – she couldn’t be troubled again. Lu Ying also agreed with Wang Daxia, “Then quickly call Constable Wu over so we can discuss tomorrow’s plan at Santong Inn together. We need to confirm his identity without alerting our quarry.”
Seeing there was nothing for her to do, Wei Caiwei went back to ponder that nearly impossible task: getting Ministry of Revenue Vice Minister Yan Shifan to cough up two years of Prince Yu’s mansion’s withheld stipend.
According to Lu Ying’s reminder, this matter required Prince Yu to bribe Yan Shifan. Since Prince Yu was now negative and reclusive, would it work for Princess Consort of Prince Yu to send money to Yan Shifan?
Although Princess Consort of Prince Yu was currently very poor, even a rotten ship still has three pounds of nails. She could pawn jewelry to gather a sum of money, bribe Yan Shifan, use small money to get big money, and once the two years of withheld stipend was in hand, redeem the jewelry – life could go on…
Lu Ying, Wang Daxia and others deployed a honey trap plan overnight, rehearsing repeatedly with Constable Wu until midnight.
The next day, Wang Daxia got up to find Lu Ying had already ordered everything he needed to wear prepared. There was a chest wrap worn by women called a zhuyao, except this one had two pockets sewn in front, and stuffed into the pockets were two large Shandong hard-flour steamed buns. These buns were made with solid ingredients – each weighed at least half a catty.
Wang Daxia, bare-chested, put on the zhuyao close to his body. His chest supported a total of one catty of large steamed buns, like two pieces of armor.
Strange, this thing clearly wasn’t heavy, so why did wearing it feel somewhat tiring?
The zhuyao had two rows of binding straps at the back to secure the two lumps of flesh that would otherwise bounce around in front. Wang Daxia put his hands behind his back, hooking his fingers through the straps, but couldn’t tie them tight no matter how he tried. Soon his hands felt as if they’d been soaked in old vinegar – completely sore.
Knock knock knock!
Someone knocked on the door, and a voice said, “It’s me.”
It was Wei Caiwei’s voice. Wang Daxia quickly threw on a robe and opened the door.
Wei Caiwei carried her makeup case, “I’ll help you arrange a married woman’s hairstyle.”
With no one around, Wang Daxia became bold, opening his outer robe to reveal the bright red zhuyao, “You want to help me put on this undergarment, right? I can’t tie it up in the back.”
The young man’s body appeared somewhat lean, but he had meat when undressed. Wei Caiwei’s fingers brushed over Wang Daxia’s butterfly wing-like shoulder blades, gently smoothing out the two rows of straps on the zhuyao, then grabbed two straps and pulled hard.
“Ah!”
Wang Daxia let out a sound that could easily be misinterpreted – a moan. “So stifling, it’s tied too tight. I’m having trouble breathing. Loosen it a bit.”
Wei Caiwei said, “No, if it’s any looser it will sway when you walk, and people will point and whisper that you’re a loose woman seducing men.”
“No, no, I can’t stand it. I can’t breathe.” Wang Daxia said, “I’m supposed to be a wanton woman who sells eye gauze and her body anyway. A little swaying would suit this person – suit the person I’m pretending to be.”
Hearing this, Wei Caiwei thought it made sense, so she loosened the straps slightly, tied them at the back, and placed Wang Daxia’s hand on the slightly longer strap. “When you want to take it off, just pull this strap and it will come undone. Don’t pull the wrong strap or it will get tighter and tighter.”
In her previous life, whenever Eunuch Wang was home, he would help her tie the zhuyao straps every morning.
In this new life, it had become her helping him instead. Wei Caiwei was quite moved by this.
After putting on the zhuyao, Wei Caiwei dressed him in a white silk jacket with a standing collar. The upright collar wrapped around his neck, concealing his Adam’s apple, with two rows of copper buttons on the neck.
Wang Daxia clutched his neck, “Standing collar clothing is so uncomfortable to wear. Even turning my head is tiring, my neck feels stiff. Lu Ying wears this kind of clothing through spring, summer, autumn and winter – how does she endure it?”
Wei Caiwei said, “Once you’re used to wearing a zhuyao, the discomfort of standing collar clothing is nothing.”
Wang Daxia sighed, “Being a woman is truly difficult.”
After putting on the white silk jacket, they added a blue vest over it, put on fashionable horse-tail skirt supports, and tied a dark blue mamian skirt over the supports. The skirt hem was spread out by the supports, and with Wang Daxia’s slender waist, the bee waist and puffy skirt made him look like a blue and white porcelain vase.
He actually looked quite good! Wei Caiwei admired her dead ghost husband.
Wang Daxia spun in front of the mirror, “Not bad, just a bit plain. Let’s try a silver-red vest.”
Wei Caiwei refused, “Your family is poor, otherwise you wouldn’t need to sell your body to supplement household income. Silver-red fabric is too expensive – be careful not to blow your cover.”
Only then did Wang Daxia give up. Wei Caiwei arranged his hair in a round chignon and put on a somewhat worn gray rabbit fur lying-rabbit hairpiece.
Taking out an eyebrow razor, she trimmed his thick eyebrows into curved willow-leaf brows, patted a layer of lead powder on his face, used a hairpin tip to take a bit of rouge on her palm, applied it to his lips, rubbed the remaining rouge between her palms, then gently patted it on his cheeks.
Wang Daxia closed his eyes, enjoying Wei Caiwei’s hands moving all over his face.
“Done, take a look yourself.”
Wang Daxia opened his eyes. The person in the mirror had a powdered face and peach-colored cheeks, with eyes full of tender feelings.
“Satisfied?” Wei Caiwei asked.
Wang Daxia flipped the mirror over, “I won’t look anymore. If I keep looking, I might fall in love with myself.”
Wei Caiwei: “…”
Finally came the eye gauze. Wang Daxia unsurprisingly chose a peach-pink piece, “This one looks good. I’m a man and usually too embarrassed to wear such bright eye gauze. Today I’m dressed as a woman, and it’s rare to have a legitimate chance to wear red eye gauze. Please fulfill my wish.”
Having said this much, both Wei Caiwei and Lu Ying acquiesced.
Wang Daxia excitedly put on the red eye gauze, “Does it look good?”
Wei Caiwei and Lu Ying: It looks good, but clearly not like any respectable woman. But it accidentally hit the mark – exactly the type the stinking Taoist liked.
At Santong Inn, Lu Ying and others had all come in disguise. Wang Daxia ordered a pot of tea and the cheapest tea snacks and sat down. The stinking Taoist seemed to be delayed by something and didn’t hurry to the inn until nearly noon.
He entered wearing black eye gauze and immediately spotted the big-chested woman sitting alone in the main hall, having scattered sunflower seed shells all over the floor.
Though he hadn’t seen the woman’s face yesterday, and she was now wearing silver-red eye gauze, the stinking Taoist was certain it was her! There weren’t many single women in the entire hall, and hers was the biggest, most prominent chest, like two rising dough buns. There was also a stack of eye gauze on the table – their agreed-upon recognition signal.
The stinking Taoist walked over and, using his sleeve as cover, gave Wang Daxia three taels of silver. Then he went to the counter and got a room.
The stinking Taoist took the key and went upstairs. Wang Daxia twisted his slender waist and followed from a distance.
The two entered the room one after another. The stinking Taoist pressed Wang Daxia against the door and tried to kiss him, but Wang Daxia turned his face away, “You rascal, making this servant wait so long. This servant drank two pots of tea and is now hungry. Order a table of food and a pot of good wine – this servant will work better after eating her fill.”
The stinking Taoist had to call for the inn servant to bring good food and wine immediately.
The stinking Taoist tried to get handsy again, saying, “Take off your eye gauze. There are no outsiders in the room – let me get a good look at your pretty face.”
Wang Daxia said, “If we’re wearing them, we both wear them. If we’re taking them off, we both take them off. It’s not like this servant hasn’t seen your face yesterday – what’s with all the hiding?”
The stinking Taoist thought this made sense, so he removed his black eye gauze and threw it on the floor, “Your turn.”
Wang Daxia giggled, “Come chase this servant! If you catch this servant, never mind just removing the eye gauze – Master Taoist can do whatever he wants!”
The stinking Taoist chased Wang Daxia around the room. The two played and frolicked, circling around the table, when someone knocked on the door, “Sir, your food and wine are ready.”
“So fast?” The stinking Taoist was somewhat suspicious.
Wang Daxia urged, “Quickly open the door and have them bring it in. This servant is hungry and needs to eat before doing business.”
The stinking Taoist opened the door, only to be caught off guard by a kick to the chest from the visitor, falling to the ground.
Constable Wu wore eye gauze, reeked of alcohol, wore a greasy dirty cotton robe, and held a butcher’s knife. Disguised as a market butcher coming to catch adulterers, he shouted loudly, “You adulterous couple! Today I’ve caught you red-handed in bed!”
Author’s Note: Now everyone should understand why I call this NPC Constable Wu. Because he’s a combination of Wu Dalang and Wu Song, appearing just for this honey trap scene. Wang Daxia is the male version of Pan Jinlian.