Three years ago, their breakup wasn’t peaceful. The joke about nearly costing two lives over a breakup—strictly speaking, wasn’t particularly exaggerated.

Initially, Yu Jiuqi had planned to separate peacefully. She’d found many reasons and excuses trying to prove there was no future between them. She said she wanted a normal marriage and family, didn’t want to forever sneak around behind her parents’ backs like this. She also said she didn’t like big cities and big companies with their so-called freedom and prospects that much—perhaps that cold, depressed northeastern small city suited her better.

Sun Xi didn’t believe any of it, refuting each one. These reasons couldn’t convince him to willingly accept this sudden cliff-style breakup. Yu Jiuqi then gave him the cold shoulder—not answering calls, responding perfunctorily to messages. She secretly resigned from her now-permanent position job, bought a ticket home, but lied to him that she was going on a graduation trip with classmates that day.

But the night before, Sun Xi asked her to come to his home, only saying he wanted to make her the promised assorted fried rice. But as soon as Xiao Jiu stepped into that two-bedroom apartment he’d just bought to propose to her, he locked her inside—for about five or six days total, he didn’t let her take half a step outside.

Explanations, arguments, rescheduling plane tickets. More arguments, smashing things, rescheduling tickets again. When she couldn’t reschedule, canceling them, buying new ones, having her phone snatched away. From arguing in the bedroom to the living room, then chasing back from the living room to the bedroom. Finally, he trapped her on the bed, controlled her in his arms, begging her without any dignity like a cornered beast with no way out, coaxing her—one moment saying he loved her, the next hating her.

One moment recounting in detail how he’d fled his hometown for her back then, the next blaming her for coming to Beijing and proactively provoking him.

Taking advantage of her brief quietness, he kissed her again, using all his techniques to please her, gratify her. He even objectified himself into a tool for her amusement, but what he got in return was cold, icy disdain. So the cornered beast showed its vicious side. He took off that ring, revealing the ugly scar left from years past, saying viciously, Yu Jiuqi look, this is what you owe me.

Yu Jiuqi immediately rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a fruit knife, and said then can I also cut off a finger? Would that make us even? Sun Xi went to snatch that knife. He felt a piercing pain, but couldn’t tell if the source of that pain was his certainty that Xiao Jiu would really hurt herself, or that she’d rather hurt herself than leave him.

The knife was snatched down, but it cut his arm. The wound wasn’t deep, but she looked very worried, wanting him to go to the hospital. He refused. She went to find the phone he’d hidden, saying she wanted to order some wound-treatment medicine online. But as soon as she got the phone, she hid in the second bedroom, locked the door, and called 110, saying her psycho ex-boyfriend had locked her up. She gave her name, then the address, saying come quickly or I’ll die at the hands of this scumbag.

Sun Xi stood in the living room at that time. Turning around, he saw himself in the simple standing mirror—wearing wrinkled, empty loungewear, messy hair, several days of unshaved stubble, and swollen eyes. Like a man-eating demon, yet also like a pitiful beggar.

For a moment, he couldn’t understand why he’d made his life like this. He smiled self-mockingly and bitterly.

Not long after the police came, he let her go.

It was a hazy day in early autumn, Tuesday, three-thirty in the afternoon. That was their last meeting in Beijing.

Counting carefully, until today, exactly three years and three months.

At this moment, Sun Xi sat in Stone City nearly a thousand kilometers from Beijing, in an American-style craft beer bar in the city center. His elbow loosely propped on the black glass bar, listening to somewhat incongruous TikTok divine song background music, occasionally catching a few sentences of hometown accent banter and revelry. In a deep blue-toned dim light, one hand lightly gripping a beer glass, the other resting on his leg, head slightly tilted, casually glancing diagonally across.

Looking at the ex-girlfriend who had more than once broken up with him in the cruelest ways—by slandering his character and dignity, even in ways that made him bleed and scar.

Watching her hold that almost-empty glass of soda water, head buried in the glass, face eerily pale, evenly proportioned fingers tightly gripping the glass—from excessive force, the tender knuckles had added a layer of blue.

Is it very hard, Yu Jiuqi?

I’m even more miserable than you.

You might feel the torment of this moment is hard to endure.

But for these three years, I’ve been chewing on pain of similar degree almost every day—only more not less, only increasing not decreasing.

Have you ever been even slightly curious?

“I’m taking a call!”

Speaking was Zhu Duomei sitting between the two. Her phone had been vibrating forever. She picked up while attached to the portable charger Xiao Jiu had specially brought over. Seeming to find the music too noisy, she stood up and walked to a quiet place to talk.

As soon as Zhu Duomei left, Xiao Jiu suddenly raised her head.

Yu Jiuqi met Sun Xi’s languid gaze. Sitting straight and thin on the high bar chair, she saw that face sunken in deep blue shadow facing her, angles folded into fine lines. Only a trace of light happened to outline his sharp eyebrows and eyes—rarely, watery and gleaming with fluorescence.

Why such an expression? Shouldn’t you be smug?

Or are you just appreciating and pitying my defeated appearance?

Does it look good, Sun Xi?

Does it look good—me falling into your hands with my life and death entirely depending on your word?

“Ge Fan says he’s also coming over in a bit!”

Zhu Duomei sat back down, taking big gulps of beer. Not noticing the two people’s flustered, scattered, and distraught gazes that had separated, she said that on the phone just now Ge Fan said Wang Heyuan went to the hospital to document injuries and was going to sue the siblings. Zhu Duomei cursed saying let him do whatever the hell he wants, told Ge Fan to do what he needed to do and ignore him. She also mentioned in passing that she was busy drinking with Sun Xi and Xiao Jiu. Hearing this, Ge Fan said he wanted to come too—he’d come right away.

Yu Jiuqi stayed in place for a while before digesting Zhu Duomei’s words. Suddenly realizing she absolutely couldn’t let Ge Fan get involved too, she hurriedly stood up, saying she had to go. She hastily grabbed Yu Kaixuan’s large down jacket, lowering her head to put it on. While putting it on, she softly said you all continue gathering, I have to go.

Zhu Duomei found her flustered state a bit strange, asking what’s wrong, is there something urgent? Did something happen? What’s wrong, Xiao Jiu?

Xiao Jiu just kept her head down, hands fumbling to pull the zipper. But Second Brother Kai’s limited-edition down jacket specially bought from Shanghai somehow wouldn’t zip up no matter what. She shook her head, answering her sister’s question, saying nothing’s wrong. She continued pulling hard, still failing.

Forget it, never mind, just wrap it up and leave like this. But looking up, having taken just one step, she crashed full into someone wrapped in cold air all over. Looking up—it was Ge Fan who’d just run in.

Ge Fan was panting. He looked down at Yu Jiuqi, frowning: “What’s wrong with you?” Then instinctively looked at Sun Xi sitting in the shadows, his gaze heavy with hostility.

Sun Xi didn’t care at all about the hostility in Ge Fan’s eyes. Following that hostility, his gaze slid toward Yu Jiuqi, seeing one of her eyes moist and bright red, as if about to cry. His heart suddenly tightened.

She really did raise her hand lightly, gently touching her eyes, then said: “I can’t zip up my zipper.”

Ge Fan bent down and easily zipped it for her.

She just stood there, both hands hanging suspended in the air like a mannequin. Her brain was thinking about how to end this dangerous situation. She had to leave, and Ge Fan couldn’t stay either. She had sufficient reason to suspect Sun Xi came back this trip to collect debts from everyone with interest—he wouldn’t let any of them have it easy.

So she asked: “Brother, is your car nearby?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you take me home? My mom is waiting for me at home.”

“Okay.”

Ge Fan loosely placed his hand on Xiao Jiu’s shoulder. First looking at Zhu Duomei impatiently, then fiercely glaring at Sun Xi, he simply hooked Xiao Jiu and pulled her close, holding her as they left.

Zhu Duomei found it strange at the moment. Originally it was just meeting a new friend and chatting. Calling Xiao Jiu and Ge Fan over was also to have more people for liveliness and drink more. Moreover, these two were usually generous, open, and loved making friends. To put it bluntly, their whole family, each and every one of them was a top-notch social expert. Why did these two act so awkward inside and out when meeting Sun Xi today?

She turned to look at Sun Xi, seeing him turn his head sideways, gaze tightly following those two who’d just walked out the door, a shallow sharp arc at the corner of his mouth.

Zhu Duomei also looked over, seeing Ge Fan still holding Xiao Jiu, walking toward the opposite side. Suspecting the siblings’ cold attitude made Sun Xi lose face, she casually made up for it with a sentence: “Our family is very interesting. Whenever Xiao Jiu encounters matters with her crazy mom, she acts like facing a great enemy. Whenever Ge Fan encounters matters with Xiao Jiu, he panics. Before he was still considerate, but now it’s like he’s awakened.”

Sun Xi turned back, looking at Zhu Duomei, frowning.

Zhu Duomei shrugged, thinking he didn’t understand, smiling indifferently: “They’re not biological siblings.”

Sun Xi lowered his eyes, saying nothing.

Zhu Duomei took another drink, suddenly feeling that with Xiao Jiu gone, the surrounding atmosphere had become considerably colder and more disappointing.

Yu Jiuqi received Sun Xi’s information bombardment in the car on the way home. They’d only been separated less than ten minutes. She’d just departed from the city center when three brief, not particularly logically tight questions came buzzing through.

[Didn’t you say we’d meet today?]

[Were you crying just now?]

[Really going home?]

Xiao Jiu sat in the passenger seat of Ge Fan’s second-hand Buick, only lowering her head to glance briefly. She understood the meaning of each, but strung together couldn’t guess his true intention behind them. Too lazy to guess, she just felt annoyed and glaring, yet inexplicably helpless and wronged.

Ge Fan’s peripheral vision glanced at Xiao Jiu, seeing that after looking at her phone, her complexion became more stiffly pale. Although she quickly locked the screen, her lowered gaze still didn’t lift for a long time. His belly full of irritable questions—he turned to stare at the rapidly retreating street scene, forcibly pressing them down. Taking a breath, he opened his mouth as naturally as possible:

“I also only found out last night that he took over Old Wang’s shop. Seems he used some methods—part swindle, part deception. Quite bold, and sinister enough.”

Xiao Jiu didn’t speak, nor did she know what to say.

Ge Fan didn’t want to press her, so he only emphasized his own attitude: “Anyway, I won’t work for him. In a couple days I’ll resign. You watch—he can’t last long here. Dad won’t let him have good days.”

Xiao Jiu suddenly remembered something. When Ge Fan skillfully turned toward her home neighborhood, checking the time—already past nine o’clock. It had been over three hours since Yu Kaixuan went to eat that steamed seafood with Wen Wen. She called her father, wanting to ask if he’d successfully laid groundwork with Wen Wen about these terrible matters.

But Yu Kaixuan didn’t answer. Xiao Jiu was anxious and frantic. Just as she was about to dial back, two WeChat messages popped up.

Like a death-claiming ghost, he persistently haunted with two more suffocating messages.

[Can you come out tonight?]

[Forget it, I’ll come find you in a bit.]

Ge Fan stopped the car at the community entrance. Wen Wen’s family’s building was right next to the entrance, so he didn’t drive in. After parking, he also unfastened his seatbelt: “I’ll walk you up.”

Yu Jiuqi flatly refused: “No need, you go back.” Feeling her tone was harsh, she explained, “I might need to chat with my mom. It’s inconvenient if you’re there. Go back quickly, Brother. Drive slowly.”

After getting out, she didn’t stop for a single step, walking back quickly. Entering the building corridor, she stomped hard. Borrowing the motion-sensor light, she ran upward while messaging him back. She knew Sun Xi was someone who did what he said.

If he said he’d come find her, he definitely would come.

But her fingers suddenly became clumsy and uncooperative. Unable to form sentences for a long time, Xiao Jiu simply pressed to send a voice message: “Get lost. I have nothing to say to you.”

Running to the sixth floor, a fine sweat broke out on her scalp. Unlocking, pushing the door open—inside was pitch black. Wen Wen hadn’t come back, wasn’t home. She stood at the doorway, breathing heavily, also relaxing slightly for a moment.

But only for a moment. Immediately, a WeChat call came through.

She thought it was Yu Kaixuan. How she hoped it was Yu Kaixuan. But the phone interface showed that pitch-black avatar with only a section of cat tail. Xiao Jiu felt she’d been pushed to her limit, fallen to the bottom, yet also had fearlessness long hidden in her body summoned out of nowhere.

She pressed the call button and asked sternly: “Didn’t I tell you to get lost?”

He didn’t care at all. Judging by the sound, he was in the car: “I’m on the way to your home.”

Xiao Jiu clenched her fist: “My mom is here. Aren’t you afraid she’ll come down and tear you apart? Chop you up?”

“Let her come.” His volume wasn’t loud, but biting each word, he said, “I’ve hidden enough long ago. Let her come kill me, let her come.”

Xiao Jiu trembled, then thought of something: “Are you driving?”

Sun Xi was startled, seemingly anticipating her intention.

“Believe it or not, I’ll call the police and report you for drunk driving?”

Sun Xi chuckled, saying in a rogue manner: “You can only use the police against me.”

Then after a moment of silence, said again, “I’ve arrived.”

“Arrived where?”

“Downstairs at your home.” He added wickedly, lightly asking, “Are you coming down or should I come up?”

Yu Jiuqi only felt blood boiling throughout her body. She rushed up to the attic, came to the frozen-solid outdoor balcony. Without needing to search and identify carefully, at a glance she saw his pitch-black car stopped like a lurking panther on the opposite street, blocking right in front of that birch tree where he used to hide in his youth.

Except there was a person wearing a designated driver company’s cotton uniform riding an electric bike, just leaving from behind his car. Xiao Jiu suddenly felt more desperate—not because she couldn’t lock him up on drunk driving charges, but because she realized he wasn’t acting impulsively or crazily stimulated by alcohol, but after careful deliberation.

He had come prepared.

So she lost her confidence, what came out sounding like begging: “Don’t you think you’re bullying people too much?”

No movement from the phone for a long time. After a moment of silence, he said in a muffled voice: “Come down first.”

Xiao Jiu didn’t speak, lightly inhaled, then exhaled in fits and starts.

“Come down first.” He repeated, softening somewhat. “Okay? Come down first.”

Xiao Jiu’s nose suddenly stung. She also repeated: “Sun Xi, don’t you think you’re bullying people too much?”

“Is that so?” He hardened his heart and said, “Now you also know this feeling.”

Not knowing if it was too cold, her eyes were frozen painfully sore. Xiao Jiu sniffled softly, understanding that dragging it out with him like this had no meaning. Steeling her heart, just about to say something, a call came in.

It was Yu Kaixuan.

Second Brother Kai sounded like he’d been drinking, saying he’d just finished gathering with Wen Wen and Young Master Xiaofu. He’d told them about the matter, but only after drinking half a case of beer. By then Wen Wen was drunk—just barely understanding what was going on when she collapsed. That Young Master Xiaofu also couldn’t hold his liquor—after accompanying for two bottles he was confused. Both of them fell asleep, so he had Xu Ming take them to Wendu Water Resort. They’d stay in the guest room department tonight, not going back.

Before hanging up, Yu Kaixuan drunkenly told Xiao Jiu that when your mom finally heard Sun Xi had returned, she immediately wanted to find you, saying can’t let him target Xiao Jiu again, can’t let him trap Xiao Jiu once more. She said since we became her parents and she’s called us Mom and Dad for over twenty years, we must plan for the child’s future. Even if not for those past grievances, just for Jiu, that murderer’s son absolutely cannot approach my daughter by half a step!

On the phone, Yu Kaixuan sighed, saying it might be turmoil again for a while, but don’t be afraid. Tell Dad if anything happens. Dad is here. Don’t bear it alone.

Yu Jiuqi’s two fingers, frozen red, forcefully pinched the corners of her eyes, frowning tightly. She first squeezed out a smile, then said to her father as lightly as possible, I know, don’t worry about me Dad, go to sleep early.

“Are you okay, Jiu?” Yu Kaixuan seemed to hear something and suddenly asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you home?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you come stay at Dad’s place?”

“No, your place is too far from our bank. I still have work tomorrow.”

Xiao Jiu hurriedly hung up the phone at the end, afraid that sob she couldn’t suppress would be heard by Dad.

After sitting in the living room for over ten minutes, Yu Jiuqi collected her emotions and sent Sun Xi a message saying she was coming down now.

She changed clothes again—black long down jacket, black oversized wool scarf, knit gloves, snow boots. She stopped at the doorway, looked at the house, turned off the lights, and walked out.

Sun Xi sat in the back seat of the car with only a small overhead light on, pinching his phone. The screen dialogue box stayed at the position where she finally agreed to come down. He turned to look at that building where her family lived, watching her turn off the lights, walk down floor by floor, turn out—all black darker than the winter night, footsteps heavy walking toward him.

Was he bullying her? To some extent he admitted—yes.

A bastard? He didn’t deny it.

Regret? Didn’t seem like it.

If he had to say regret, he actually regretted not doing this earlier. At least when he came back after receiving that phone call from her last time, he should have done this.

He should have accepted that fact long ago—in his life, besides fleeing in disgrace and giving up, obtaining anything wasn’t easy.

Yu Jiuqi opened the back car door, seeing Sun Xi sitting there, paused.

Sun Xi handed her the car keys. Xiao Jiu understood and took them, walked to the driver’s seat, sat in. This wasn’t her first time driving Sun Xi’s car, nor her first time being designated driver for Sun Xi who’d been drinking.

After starting the car, Xiao Jiu looked straight ahead, asking flatly: “Where are we going?”

“Anywhere.” The back said.

“Anywhere?”

“Up to you.”

Yu Jiuqi blankly looked at the winter night haze under the horizon line ahead—heavy and dense, pressing right before her eyes.

She suddenly felt that at this moment, they were like two ants under a giant cage.