Year 30 of the Yuanfeng Era, Twenty-third Day of the Twelfth Month.

It was Little New Year, and the Crown Prince’s residence held a family banquet.

In the evening, Suzhi, a maid attending the Crown Princess, came to invite me to the feast.

Normally, I would have flatly refused.

But for Little New Year, it wouldn’t be appropriate to reject the Crown Princess’s gesture.

At this banquet, all the masters of the Crown Prince’s residence attended. The warm hall was completely full.

I sat alone, farthest away.

When the palace servants brought wine and dishes, the Crown Prince said something, the Crown Princess said something—I didn’t hear a word clearly. In my mind I was only calculating how many months remained of the two-year term.

During the feast, the Crown Princess personally came to toast me.

I didn’t drink alcohol and substituted tea for wine.

The Crown Princess smiled and said, “The female physician has worked hard all year and should relax a bit. I’m not asking you to get drunk—just one cup. It’s a rare occasion.”

I had the capacity for one cup.

After drinking one cup, others came to toast, saying that Female Physician Shen couldn’t favor one over another. Helplessly, I drank three cups in succession.

After three cups of wine, my belly felt slightly warm. I turned the cup upside down and refused to drink no matter who came.

After sitting a while longer, I felt something wasn’t quite right.

This wine had quite a kick—it made my head dizzy and heavy.

Suzhi came to support me.

I was very familiar with her. In these past years entering and leaving the Crown Princess’s courtyard, she had always greeted and seen me off.

I felt assured letting her support me.

Suzhi said, “Female physician, sober up before leaving.”

I would be alone when I returned anyway, so I nodded.

After Dong Chengfeng left, I had moved into his courtyard. If I was on duty at night, I stayed there.

After walking some distance, the effects of the alcohol grew stronger.

I was so befuddled I couldn’t even open my eyes. Forcing them open once, I saw the path was correct and then closed them again with relief.

Upon entering the courtyard, Suzhi fed me some warm tea, and I fell into a drowsy sleep.

As I slept, I entered a dream.

In the dream, there was someone beside me—that person’s skin slightly cool, their scent light and clean.

My body was too hot, burning up entirely. That touch of coolness felt extremely comfortable.

I pressed my face against it, then wrapped my hands and feet around it…

This was a spring dream that made one’s face flush with embarrassment. In the dream were a pair of reddened eyes looking at me intensely, and a pair of slender hands caressing my burning skin…

I don’t know how much time passed.

I awoke, groggily searching for water to drink.

Usually water was right at hand.

I reached out but couldn’t reach it. Only then did I discover I was trapped in a warm embrace.

This spring dream was far too realistic.

I slowly opened my eyes. My pupils focused and I saw a face.

This face looked very much like the Crown Prince’s—even the density of the beard was identical. I reached out to touch it—it was a bit prickly.

I withdrew my hand as if electrocuted and looked down at my own body, then around me…

I was completely stupefied, unable to say a word.

So this wasn’t a spring dream after all!

……

Year 30 of the Yuanfeng Era, Twenty-fourth Day of the Twelfth Month.

I had been schemed against.

The person who schemed against me was Crown Princess Liang.

What I drank was heated deer blood wine.

Suzhi had supported me to Lady Liang’s sleeping chamber.

Aphrodisiac incense had been lit in the chamber.

The Crown Prince was eight-tenths drunk. He should have returned to his own sleeping chamber, but Lady Liang, in front of everyone, invited the Crown Prince to sit in her chamber for a while. The Crown Prince didn’t refuse.

Upon arriving at the chamber, he and I slept in the same bed.

During the night, I wrapped myself around him.

He hadn’t touched a woman in a long time.

Dry kindling and raging fire—it ignited at a touch.

That bed was the marriage bed from Lady Liang and the Crown Prince’s wedding.

Lady Liang knelt on the ground and said very calmly to the furious Crown Prince, “When a man has feelings and a woman has intent, why can it not be?”

She also said, “Your Highness, we’ve been husband and wife for over twenty years. I think your thoughts and care for your concerns. When have I ever harmed you in the slightest?”

Finally she said, “Your Highness, what I cannot bear most is seeing you deny yourself. In the future, the entire realm will be yours. What does one small female physician amount to?”

The feelings I had concealed for so long had been seen through by her.

She had never harmed the Crown Prince in the slightest, yet she chose to harm me.

I rushed forward and slapped Lady Liang hard across the face.

This slap was swift and vicious. No one had anticipated it—even the Crown Prince was shocked.

Lady Liang covered her face, staring dumbfounded at me, this small female physician who had eaten the heart of a bear and the gall of a leopard.

She didn’t know that if I had held a knife in my hand at that moment, I would have stabbed her several times without hesitation.

Dong Chengfeng once said that in Lady Liang’s heart and eyes, only the Crown Prince existed—no one else.

I didn’t understand—could caring about one person make someone virtuous to this degree?

Also.

What did she take me for?

If I truly wanted to be Zhao Lin’s woman, would I need her to use such base methods?

Did she really think all women in the world wanted to sharpen their heads to squeeze into favor beneath the Crown Prince?

……

Year 30 of the Yuanfeng Era, New Year’s Eve.

I hadn’t left my house for several days, lying in bed daily with my eyes open, doing nothing.

In the imperial palace there were palace attendants whose job was to have the Emperor select consorts daily, then record the time of the Emperor’s intimacies with his consorts.

The Crown Prince’s palace had them too.

Any woman who had slept with them had only one ultimate fate: to die of old age deep in the palace.

I was unwilling.

Because I was unwilling, I hated Lady Liang to the bone.

I hated her not because she schemed for me and Zhao Lin to sleep together.

But because she completely shattered my plans and hopes for future life.

At nightfall, Lady Liang came.

She said that as long as I was willing, she would make me a secondary consort to manage the inner residence together with her.

I asked her to leave.

Lady Liang sneered coldly. “You, a woman who has lost her chastity—what more can you hope to do? Look around—how many women wish I would scheme against them, yet I’ve never given them the opportunity.”

I told her to get out!

Lady Liang became angry from humiliation, pointing at my nose and cursing.

“Did you think I didn’t know about your sneaky little thoughts, playing hard to get? Don’t you just want the Crown Princess’s position? Female Physician Shen, it’s fine to be proud and lofty, but you must also weigh your own capabilities.”

One cannot discuss ice with summer insects.

I grabbed a vase and hurled it at her.

……

Year 31 of the Yuanfeng Era, Fifteenth Day of the First Month.

Zhao Lin, dressed in private clothes, entered my residence amid a cacophony of noise.

Our eyes met, and my eye sockets suddenly felt somewhat hot.

It was grievance.

His Adam’s apple rolled, and he asked gently, “Do you want to stay by my side?”

I shook my head.

He asked, “Why?”

I said, “If I stay by your side, I’ll become another Lady Liang—my heart and eyes will only hold you.”

He was puzzled. “What’s wrong with that?”

I answered, “That isn’t me.”

His brows furrowed slightly. “I know your aspirations, but the problem now is that you’re already my woman.”

I took a deep breath and knelt on both knees. “Please, Your Highness, grant me this.”

His brows furrowed even more tightly.

“Shen Duruo, I’m in your heart. Why can’t you compromise a bit for my sake? By my side, you can still practice medicine. I won’t stop you.”

I looked up at him. “Your Highness, I’m in your heart. Can you compromise for my sake and not compete for that position?”

The expression on Zhao Lin’s face couldn’t be described as merely shocked.

“You can’t do it, and neither can I.”

After a moment of silence, I continued, “Having you in my heart is enough. Our spring encounter is enough. You being well is enough. Whether or not I’m by your side truly isn’t that important.”

He looked down at me.

He looked for a very, very long time, then turned around with his hands behind his back.

His figure looked somewhat thin, and his shoulders were somehow drooping.

My eye sockets grew hot again.

“I never force people to stay. Since your mind is made up, I’ll erase all traces of that incident. In two months, I’ll arrange for you to leave the capital.”

“Why two months later?”

“Because…”

He slowly turned around. “If you’re carrying my child, then even with a hundred reasons, it would be difficult for me to let you go.”

I watched his retreating figure and repeatedly calculated the timing of my monthly cycle more than ten times.

After confirming I absolutely couldn’t be pregnant, I slowly breathed out a sigh of relief.