“What could Zheng Family’s Fifth Madam do?”

Xie Zhifei quietly raised his eyes, looking at the rolling dark clouds overhead.

“She could dress up bright and beautiful, appear before the world.

She could visit various noble families, admiring flowers today, attending banquets tomorrow.

She could make her maiden family’s brothers and sisters-in-law, relatives and friends all envy her colorful and vibrant high-gate life.”

“What utter shallow nonsense!”

An ill-timed voice cut across.

Who else but Li Buyan could say such words!

Xie Zhifei didn’t even raise his head, his gaze still fixed deeply on the person in the coffin as he continued:

“Huaiyou, don’t think that because Mother read books for a few years and was some talented woman, she didn’t like beautiful clothes, others’ flattery, and the envious eyes of the world.

She cared about these things.

Not only did she care, she was somewhat addicted to them.

In this world, there is only one Shen Duruo, but there are countless worldly women like Mother.

Mother married into the Zheng family and enjoyed over a year of the good life as Zheng Family’s Fifth Madam. But because of your arrival, that life came to an abrupt halt.

The dignified Zheng Family’s Fifth Madam couldn’t even leave her courtyard—who would see her beautiful clothes? Who would see her beautiful makeup?

Every year at the Dragon Boat Festival and Mid-Autumn Festival, the Zheng family held banquets, with distinguished guests filling the seats and opera performers singing on stage.

On such occasions, Mother would stand at the courtyard gate, craning her neck, pricking up her ears, quietly listening to the activity outside.

She would stand there for one or two hours at a time, her face and eyes full of envy. No matter how Father tried to persuade her, she wouldn’t budge. She would only return to her room reluctantly after all the excitement outside had dispersed.

During those two hours, what was she thinking?

She must have been imagining that if she appeared at the banquet with her twin children at such a time, how many envious gazes would fall on her.

‘Having both children in one pregnancy, a son and daughter both—Fifth Madam is truly blessed!’

‘Fifth Madam’s outfit looks wonderful!’

‘The twins are so well-behaved and obedient!’

‘Old Fifth and his wife seem quite loving, and they look well-matched!'”

Xie Zhifei smiled bitterly.

“Huaiyou, Mother was actually just such a shallow, vain woman who liked being seen by others.

You see, as Zheng Family’s Fifth Madam, her dislike of you was completely reasonable and justified.”

After speaking, he slowly crouched down again, his slender fingers falling on the pale young woman’s cheek, gently caressing.

“Huaiyou, those first two points only made Mother dislike you. What truly made her hate you to the bone was your little head and the face on that head.

As I said before, Mother could read and write—she was a talented woman known for a hundred li around. Her handwriting was very delicate and refined; even Father praised it.

Do you remember that year on Father’s birthday, Mother specially wrote a Hundred Longevity Characters piece to celebrate his birthday?

One hundred longevity characters, written in one hundred different styles.

When Father saw that Hundred Longevity Characters piece and looked at Mother, his gaze was so tender it could overflow with water. Before the sky had even darkened, Father abandoned us two siblings and went into the room holding Mother.

That long night, you had nothing to do, so you said you also wanted to write a Hundred Longevity Characters piece for Father.

What you wrote wasn’t just Hundred Longevity Characters—you clearly drew a Hundred Longevity Picture.

One hundred longevity characters merged into one picture. Looking at it from afar, that picture was just one large longevity character.

When you presented the Hundred Longevity Picture to Father, the bright light in Father’s eyes burst forth in an instant—I saw it clearly from the side.

Father excitedly stood up from his chair and asked you how you thought of it.

You shrugged, nonchalantly saying: ‘I just thought about it casually and came up with it. Father, does it look good?’

How could it just be good!

That stroke of ingenious thinking alone was breathtaking. Mother’s Hundred Longevity Characters simply arranged each longevity character one by one in sequence.

Besides the ingenious thinking, even someone like me who doesn’t understand calligraphy felt your characters were better written than Mother’s.

I asked Father what was so good about my sister’s characters. Father said your characters had spiritual energy.”

Xie Zhifei gently shook his head.

“Huaiyou, do you know what expression Mother had when Father said you had spiritual energy?

Mother coldly swept a glance at Father, then turned and went back to her room. From that day on, she never picked up a brush again to write even half a character for Father.

Because you had surpassed her.

Do you remember the nine-linked rings toy you played with?

Father originally bought it for Mother to pass the time. Mother fiddled with it for half a month but couldn’t figure it out. In frustration, she threw the nine-linked rings to me.

I couldn’t play with such things, so I casually gave it to you.

You sat alone in the bamboo chair, first tilting your head to look at it for a while, then in just a few moves, using less than the time it takes to brew tea, you solved those nine-linked rings.

After solving it, you asked: Father, do you have more complex nine-linked rings?

Father stared at you blankly for a long time, then sincerely sighed: ‘Dragons beget dragons, phoenixes beget phoenixes, and mice’s children know how to dig holes.’

Just that one sentence—Mother didn’t speak to Father for half a month.

At the time, I didn’t understand why Mother was so angry. Only now do I understand—with that phrase ‘mice’s children know how to dig holes,’ Mother thought Father was looking down on her, looking down on the Zhao family.

Huaiyou, how old were you then?

Four years old?

Or five?

This crushing intelligence of yours—for Father it was cause for amazement, for me it was something I could never hope to reach, but for Mother, it turned into jealousy.

Back then, why could Mother catch Father’s eye? It was because she was smarter and more talented than ordinary girls.

But that bit of intelligence and talent, compared to you, Huaiyou, simply didn’t measure up.

What was this like?

It was like Mother knew a few fancy but useless moves, while you at such a young age already showed the signs of becoming a peerless master.

Was Mother content with this?

All the beautiful halos she had before Father were destroyed by you one by one—of course she wasn’t content.

Was she jealous?

Originally Father’s amazement and praise, his attentive gaze—all of it now fell on you. She was jealous to death!

Especially with me, such a stupid and clumsy older brother by her side—compared to you, Mother became even more jealous.

To protect your identity, Grandfather and Father didn’t allow Mother to bear more children, so I, as her son, became Mother’s only hope for the rest of her life.

How Mother hoped I could distinguish myself, could fight for her dignity!

But what was the reality?

The reality was that looking at books gave me headaches, writing made my hands ache, not to mention those essays, poems, and rhapsodies.

Comparing people kills you.

Comparing goods makes you want to throw them away.

What did Mother feel in her heart watching Father praise you for being good at this and that, while scolding me for being bad at this and that?

Her son she was so proud of, her hope for the rest of her life, was also easily surpassed by you. Day by day, month by month, that bit of jealousy slowly fermented, finally fermenting bit by bit into hatred.

She hated Heaven for making you so intelligent.

She hated you for making her son appear so stupid.

She hated that she herself couldn’t match you in anything.”

Past events like wind brushed past. The countless details of those eight years reassembled, and Xie Zhifei could only think of one phrase:

Like a grass snake leaving gray lines, its trail runs for a thousand li—each drink, each peck was predestined.

It was all traceable!