The next day, Xu Yan finished recording her show at five in the afternoon and rushed to buy desserts. The bakery, recently featured in several fashion magazines, had come from Paris. She always agonized over what gift to bring to Shen Haoming’s house.
Delicate cupcakes lined the glass display case, adorned with sugar-crafted high heels and flower wreaths, resembling luxurious jewels. The prices were, of course, exorbitant, but she decided to buy four. Just then, Qiao Lin called, asking when she’d be back. Xu Yan replied, “There’s a takeout menu on the fridge. Why don’t you order something to eat?” Qiao Lin said, “I’m not hungry. How do I unlock your door? I can’t breathe in here and want to go for a walk.” Xu Yan gave her the door code. Qiao Lin repeated it and asked, “If I forget later, can I call you again?”
After hanging up, Xu Yan scanned the display case once more. Her gaze landed on a cupcake with a dancing figurine. The little figure stood on one foot, arms raised, as if ready to leap off the ground. “I’ll take this one,” she told the girl behind the counter.
Xu Yan heard Qiao Lin calling her name from behind. She caught up and handed Xu Yan a cloth bag, saying, “I borrowed the dress for you. The neckline’s a bit big, but you can fix it with a couple of pins.” Xu Yan said, “I don’t want to host anymore.” Qiao Lin replied, “If you don’t host, I won’t dance either. We’ll both skip the party.” Xu Yan asked, “Why go to such lengths to help me?” Qiao Lin smiled, “Big Qiao, Little Qiao – we should shine together.” By then, many at school knew they were sisters and called them Big Qiao and Little Qiao.
The housekeeper opened the door, offering to take Xu Yan’s things. Xu Yan, cradling the cake box, said, “I’ll take it to the living room myself.” Three women sat drinking champagne on the living room sofa. A short-haired woman smiled at her, telling the others, “Haoming likes these tall, slim girls.” The woman wearing a shawl added, “All young men prefer this body type nowadays.”
An eight or nine-year-old boy ran out – Shen Haoming’s younger brother, Shen Haochen. He was leading a short-legged dachshund wearing a blue down vest with a hood that kept falling over its face when it ran. Shen Haochen brought the dog to the sofa, introducing it: “This is Bailey. He has a bit of a cold.” The woman with thin, arched eyebrows asked, “What about your previous dog?” Shen Haochen replied, “We gave it away. Mom got tired of it always rummaging through the trash.”
The short-haired woman said, “But your mom adored it at first.” The boy shrugged, “My mom is a very unpredictable woman.” The three women laughed. The woman with the shawl said, “Haochen, come here and let Auntie give you a hug.” The boy reluctantly took two steps forward, turning his head away. “Auntie, I have a cold too.” The woman stroked the back of his head, saying, “You’ve grown so big. You’ll be tall in no time.” The woman with thin eyebrows set down her champagne glass and said, “Do you regret it now? We all told you to go with Yu Lan back then. You could have had twins.”
“Who’s talking about me? I heard that,” a short, plump woman entered, wearing a dark blue silk qipao with a white lotus at the waist. It was Shen Haoming’s mother, Yu Lan. “Your son,” the short-haired woman said. “He says you’re an unpredictable woman.” Yu Lan laughed, telling the boy, “Darling, didn’t you say yesterday that you knew what I was going to say before I even opened my mouth?” The boy replied, “I know what you’re going to say, but I don’t know what you’re thinking.” The thin-eyebrowed woman remarked, “Your son is quite the philosopher.”
The boy looked up at Yu Lan and asked, “Can I have Sister Xu Yan play with me?” Yu Lan agreed. She walked over to Xu Yan with a smile, saying, “I didn’t even see you come in.” Xu Yan smiled back, “I brought some desserts for after dinner.” “Wonderful,” Yu Lan said, “Then I won’t have to ask Old Li to buy any.” Xu Yan quickly calculated in her head: four cupcakes, not eating one herself, would be just enough for the four women to have one each.
She followed Shen Haochen to the backyard, where there were several rock formations and a pavilion, with a small frozen pond in front. Shen Haochen asked, “Do you think Bailey could skate on this?” Xu Yan replied, “No, he’d fall through. Let’s do something else. I can help you with your Lego.” Shen Haochen shook his head, “I want to stay with Bailey. He’s too lonely.” Xu Yan said, “He has a cold and needs rest.” Shen Haochen complained, “It’s all my mom’s fault. She insists on him sleeping in the greenhouse.” Xu Yan asked, “Why not let him in the house?” Shen Haochen explained, “Mom says we don’t know his temperament yet and need to observe him for a while. When Sister Huihui first came, she wouldn’t let her eat with us either, saying her breath smelled and she might have stomach problems.”
Xu Yan learned a lot about their family through this boy. When Shen Haoming first started dating her, Yu Lan had tried to set him up with a bank manager’s daughter. They might have even met, but she never asked Shen Haoming about it. There would probably be lawyers’ daughters and doctors’ daughters in the future. She wasn’t the ideal daughter-in-law, though they hadn’t openly opposed their relationship. Once, Shen Haochen said, “Mom says it doesn’t matter what girl my brother brings home.
Dating isn’t serious anyway.” Xu Yan believed Shen Haochen wasn’t stupid enough to not know he shouldn’t tell her these things; he was doing it on purpose to upset her. He would also tell the housekeeper Xiao Hui what his mother said about her, then stand outside her door to listen to her cry in secret. Xu Yan didn’t understand this hobby. In Shen Haoming’s words, his brother was a child with a dark heart.
There was an eighteen-year age gap between them. When Shen Haochen was still sucking on a pacifier, Shen Haoming was already wearing bow ties and attending charity events with their father. He didn’t have much affection for his brother and initially even forgot to mention him to Xu Yan. Later, when he casually mentioned him, Xu Yan asked in surprise, “Why? Why what?” Shen Haoming asked. Xu Yan said, “Why could they have two children?” Shen Haoming replied, “Oh, my parents became Canadian citizens. They could have done it without citizenship, just paying a fine.”
Shen Haoming came out, telling Xu Yan, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He gave Shen Haochen a couple of light slaps on the bottom, saying, “Stop bothering people. Can’t you play by yourself for a while?” Shen Haochen pleaded, “Can we go out for ice cream later?” Shen Haoming ignored him and led Xu Yan away.
Shen Haoming’s father, Shen Jinsong, was sitting with several male guests on sofas in the side hall. Shen Haoming brought Xu Yan over and introduced her to two guests she hadn’t met before. His father said, “Haoming, get a cigar for your Uncle Li.” As they left the room, Shen Haoming grumbled, “How dare he show his face here.” “Who are you talking about?” Xu Yan asked. Shen Haoming said, “The guy in the baseball cap.
He cheated all his friends in business deals. Nobody associates with him anymore.” As Shen Haoming was about to return to the side hall, Xu Yan held him back, saying, “Smile a bit.” Shen Haoming frowned, “What for?” Xu Yan said, “Your anger is written all over your face. It’s not good for the other guests to see.” Shen Haoming forced a smile. Xu Yan returned one and said, “Go on in. I’ll see if your mother needs any help.”
Xu Yan returned to the main living room to find two more female guests had arrived. There wouldn’t be enough cupcakes now, and she anxiously eyed the white box on the table. “Dinner’s ready,” Yu Lan told her. “Let’s go sit down.”
This family dinner was a Shen family tradition, occurring once or twice every week. The guests were familiar with each other, so there was no sense of restraint. Xu Yan glanced around and whispered to Shen Haoming, “Is Uncle Gao not coming?” Shen Haoming replied, “He has a meeting. He’ll come later.” The woman wearing a shawl asked, “Where’s Haochen?” Yu Lan said, “We let him eat with the nanny. That child chatters so much, adults can’t have a proper conversation.”
The man wearing a baseball cap sat next to the woman, maintaining silence. Whenever the plate of peanuts came his way, he would pick one up. “Is your antique shop still open?” the woman next to him asked. “No,” he answered, pausing for a few seconds before adding, “But I’m planning to reopen it.” The woman inquired, “Still in the same place?” “Ah, yes,” he said. A male guest chuckled, “Are you sure? That area has new buildings now. The rent has increased four or five times.” Everyone turned to look at the man in the baseball cap, and the room fell silent for a moment. Xu Yan felt she shared more of the awkwardness than others. She understood the man in the baseball cap; he must be eager for success, just a bit unlucky.
Halfway through the meal, Uncle Gao arrived. Xu Yan wasn’t clear about Uncle Gao’s exact role in the government, only knowing that he held significant power and had helped many people resolve issues. The man in the baseball cap suddenly perked up, constantly watching Uncle Gao and listening to his conversations with others. When they laughed, he laughed along.
After dinner, everyone moved to the side hall for tea. Shen Jinsong and Uncle Gao went to another room, with the man in the baseball cap following them. Shen Haoming told Xu Yan, “He must have something to ask Uncle Gao for help with.” Xu Yan asked, “Will he help?” Shen Haoming replied, “I don’t know. Shall we go watch a movie?” Xu Yan said, “Your mother won’t be happy if we leave early.” Shen Haoming retorted, “Who cares about her?” Xu Yan smiled, “You might not care, but I have to.” She pulled Shen Haoming to the living room, where the women were chatting. Hearing them discuss clothes and bags, Shen Haoming said, “I’d better join the men.”
Xu Yan sat next to Yu Lan for a while, then noticed there weren’t enough fruit forks on the table and got up to fetch some. “Tell Peipei to open the dessert wine,” Yu Lan called after her. Passing through the corridor, she saw Shen Jinsong and the others still in that room, seemingly discussing something about a house.
As she left the kitchen with the forks, she heard strange sounds from a nearby room. It sounded like retching, accompanied by small, hissing cries. She knocked twice and pushed open the door. It was Shen Haochen, lying face-up on the floor, crying. The room had long been unused, empty except for a bookcase against the wall. She crouched down and said, “You sure know how to pick a spot.” Shen Haochen ignored her, closing his eyes and continuing to cry.
Xu Yan asked, “Is this because no one accompanied you for ice cream?” Shen Haochen wiped his tears and said, “I’m used to it by now.” Xu Yan asked, “Why don’t you invite your friends over?” Shen Haochen replied, “Would you have any friends if you were constantly changing schools?” He shook his head and said, “No one in this family cares about me.” Xu Yan advised, “Don’t expect anything from others. You need to become strong yourself.” Shen Haochen frowned, “But I’m just a child.” Xu Yan retorted, “So what if you’re a child?” Shen Haochen pleaded, “Can you leave me alone for a while? I don’t want to go back to my room. Sister Huihui is like a parrot, talking non-stop.”
Xu Yan closed the door. She hadn’t considered that Shen Haochen might have any troubles. Born into such a family, shouldn’t he be laughing in his dreams? But now it seemed he might also be a superfluous child. His parents wanted him merely to decorate their lives, having no patience to raise him again. Yu Lan couldn’t give up her gatherings and travels with other wives, and Shen Jinsong couldn’t forgo his golf and social engagements. Shen Haochen was always with the nanny. One nanny after another. Those he liked, his mother disliked; those his mother preferred, he didn’t like.
Xu Yan returned to the living room. Her cake box had been opened and laid out on the table, but none of the cakes had been touched. The frosting on two of them had smeared on the box, turning into a red mush. Only the one with the dancing figurine remained intact. The little figure stood on tiptoe as if climbing out of a pile of ruins.
The man in the baseball cap appeared at the doorway, grinning at Yu Lan, saying, “I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving.” Yu Lan nodded, “Shall I have the driver take you?” The man replied, “I called a car, but the driver seems lost.” Yu Lan said, “Sit down and wait a bit.” The baseball cap hesitated, then came over and sat on the sofa. Xu Yan placed her untouched glass of dessert wine in front of him, smiling.
“Go get your mink coat!” the short-haired woman said, placing her hand on Yu Lan’s shoulder. “And that limited edition lizard skin,” added the woman with high, thin eyebrows. Yu Lan fetched the gray-blue mink coat and several bags. The women came forward, some trying on the coat, others fiddling with the bags. Only Xu Yan and the man in the baseball cap remained seated on the sofa. He leaned forward, staring blankly at the items on the coffee table. Suddenly, he reached out, grabbed the cupcake with the dancing figurine, and stuffed it whole into his mouth.
Qiao Lin walked to the center of the stage, the spotlight falling squarely on her face. She instinctively knew where the light was. She stepped gracefully, swaying her slender legs, and twirling her skirt rapidly. Each time her feet left the ground, Xu Yan felt a tightness in her chest. She wasn’t sure if she was worried or hoping for something to happen. Only when Qiao Lin safely bowed did she breathe a sigh of relief, then suddenly felt sad. She thought, years from now, people in the audience might not remember who hosted this event, but they would surely remember Qiao Lin’s dance.
After ten o’clock, guests began to leave. Xu Yan helped the nanny collect wine glasses when Shen Haoming cornered her at the kitchen door. He put his arm around her waist, winked, and said, “Why don’t you stay here tonight?” Xu Yan broke free, looking serious, and asked, “Tell me, at what age did you start having girls stay overnight?” Shen Haoming raised his eyebrows, “Seventeen?” “And your parents agreed?” Xu Yan asked. Shen Haoming laughed, “They came to my room several times. I think they wanted to check if I had prepared condoms.” “Did you?” Xu Yan asked. Shen Haoming’s smile faded, his expression becoming solemn.
“I want to confess something to you… I have a… We all make mistakes when we’re young, right?” He lowered his head, covering his face with his hands. Xu Yan tried to pull his hands away, but he resisted until he burst into laughter, waving his hands, “I just couldn’t hold it in anymore…” Xu Yan pushed him, “You think you acted convincingly?” Shen Haoming asked, still laughing, “If I brought home a child from outside, would you help me raise it?”
Xu Yan replied, “That would depend on how good-looking it is.” Shen Haoming said, “Very good-looking, even better than me.” Xu Yan said, “Sure, why not? It would save me from having to give birth myself.” Shen Haoming cupped her face in his hands, “No way, you still need to have at least two.” Xu Yan looked at him and smiled. She said, “I should go back. My cousin is alone at home.” Shen Haoming said, “Alright, I’ll accompany you tomorrow, be your driver.” Xu Yan declined, “No need. She has a strange temper. She’d be uncomfortable with you around.”
Xu Yan put on her coat, adjusted her hair, and turned to ask, “By the way, what did that man want from Uncle Gao?” Shen Haoming explained, “A few years ago, he found a piece of land in the suburbs to build houses. He signed a contract with the township government, but it’s not valid now. The land is about to be taken away…” Xu Yan asked, “Is this a difficult matter?” Shen Haoming replied, “Mm, but Uncle Gao will try to find a solution.” Xu Yan pressed, “So he will help him?” Shen Haoming said, “What else can we do? Where would he live otherwise?”
On her way back, Xu Yan pondered whether the baseball cap man’s house demolition issue was more difficult to resolve than her parents’ situation. If he was willing to help even someone with a bad reputation, did it mean he might help her too? No, not her, but her cousin Qiao Lin. She thought she should find more opportunities to meet Uncle Gao, to make him feel she was part of the Shen family.
When Xu Yan returned to the apartment, she found Qiao Lin sitting on a sofa in the lobby downstairs. She looked up, smiling apologetically at Xu Yan, “I forgot the password, and your phone was off.” Xu Yan asked how long she had been sitting there. She replied, “Not long. I’ve been wandering around the courtyard, visiting all the open small shops. It’s nice here. People are friendly; they even let me use their restrooms.”
Xu Yan looked at her and said, “Qiao Lin, can you stop making yourself look so pitiful?”
Qiao Lin jumped off the tricycle, smiling as she said to her, “I brought you the desk. I won’t need to study anymore anyway.” Xu Yan examined the desk; the stickers on the legs were faded. She still remembered when the stickers were first applied, with the vivid face of Zhao Yazi on them. She had indeed coveted this desk for a long time. Grandmother had set up a wooden board on the windowsill where she always did her homework.
Xu Yan asked, “Are the results out?” Qiao Lin stuck out her tongue, “I didn’t even get into that lousy Coal Institute.” They moved the desk down, and Qiao Lin dusted off her hands, saying, “I’ve already found a job. I start at the Hualian Department Store tomorrow. From now on, you’ll get employee discounts on Maybelline products.” Her fingernails were painted a lotus root pink, she wore low-rise jeans, and her long hair swayed across her chest. Her beauty was still increasing, but she seemed not to take it seriously. That carefree spirit was particularly captivating to boys.