Bai Youwei frowned. “What do you mean?”

Tu Shenshi smiled, glanced at Shen Mo, and said to Bai Youwei: “You should know in your heart.”

Something flashed through Bai Youwei’s mind, and she understood immediately.

Everything fell into place.

She looked at her two legs again and felt the nerves return to sensation — as if the numbness of that brief moment had been nothing but an illusion, or perhaps a kind of psychological block.

What was she afraid of?

What was she resisting?

Tu Shenshi, seeing she was alright, said nothing further. He gave a courteous, slight bow and turned to leave.

Shen Mo picked Bai Youwei up and carried her on his back, soothing her: “Let’s rest properly when we get back. I’ll have Chu Huaijin find doctors and healing items — you’ll be fine.”

Bai Youwei lay against his broad back, pressed her lips together, and said nothing.

Perhaps what she wanted was exactly this outcome? Whether it was a tie, a burden, or anything else… whatever it took, she wanted the person she desired to be unable to leave her behind.

…

Back at headquarters, Bai Youwei returned to her wheelchair.

When her legs could carry her, she often sat in the wheelchair anyway, so no one took particular notice.

Shen Mo brought her back to her room, then went to find Chu Huaijin. Bai Youwei lay alone on the bed, staring up at the white ceiling, her heart hollow and adrift.

The brief paralysis she had felt when leaving the maze had been real.

In that instant, she had truly believed she could not walk.

When the inspector spoke up to remind her, she finally understood — she hadn’t lost the ability to walk. What had happened was that her heart had developed a dependency.

When her legs had been bad, she always thought: once they heal, she’d be free to go wherever she liked.

But after they healed, she had nowhere she wanted to go. Like the hand of a clock, spinning round and round, never straying from its axis…

The doll game had bound Shen Mo and her together.

And yet, perversely, the game made separation the norm. Chen Hui had lost Teacher Tu, Yan Qingwen had lost Lu Ang, Tan Xiao had lost Hu Dashan… so many people — dead, gone. Those who remained suffered at first, and in the end were left only with numbness.

Perhaps Shen Mo had long since prepared himself mentally to leave at any moment — to save whatever last chance at survival there was for her.

Bai Youwei couldn’t help wondering: if Shen Mo truly died in that maze, leaving her alone, how would she go on?

Keep playing the game?

Keep clearing stages?

…And then what? Die in a game, or win all the way to the very end and become the final victor?

Even if she won, what then?

Maybe some people enjoyed dominating the world, becoming the sovereign ruler of all — but to her, there was no joy in that. Without someone beside her, it was no different from the way her days used to be: eating alone, sleeping alone, watching television alone, spending an entire day alone…

The more Bai Youwei thought about it, the more frightened she became.

All these years… she had finally begun to feel that life held some pleasure. And now it turned out that what she had received was a fistful of crystal glass — liable to shatter at any moment.

She thought of many things, thoughts tangling together, a mess of emotions rising and sinking in her chest.

A knock sounded at the door — two soft raps.

“Weiwei, may I come in?”

It was Zhu Shu’s voice.

Bai Youwei sat up and called toward the door: “Come in.”

The door wasn’t locked. Zhu Shu pushed it open and entered, smiled at Bai Youwei, and raised the insulated lunchbox she was carrying.

“I made red bean paste dumplings — would you like to try some?”

Bai Youwei smiled. “Sure, let me have a taste.”

Zhu Shu came in with the lunchbox, found a table, and opened it. Steam curled upward at once, carrying the fragrance of red beans.

She scooped out a bowl and brought it to Bai Youwei. “I made it to my own taste — if it’s not sweet enough, I can add sugar.”

“What made you suddenly want to make this?” Bai Youwei tasted a spoonful and let her eyes close in contentment. “Mm… it’s good. Perfectly sweet.”

Zhu Shu smiled and said: “I’m not much help with anything else, so when I have time to spare, I thought I’d make something to eat. I also sent some to Su Man. On the way, I ran into Shen Mo — that’s when I heard you’d all come out of the maze. He was worried about you sitting here lost in your thoughts, so he specifically asked me to come keep you company.”

—