It had been over two years since Yun Li last enjoyed a late-night meal at a street food stall. She sat on a plastic chair, holding a simple laminated red paper menu.
“What would you like to eat?” Fu Shize asked her.
Yun Li didn’t have many preferences. She didn’t eat much normally, and today her main purpose was to treat him.
“You order,” Yun Li pushed the menu back to him. “You’re more familiar with this place.”
Fu Shize went to the stall to order some dishes. When he returned and sat down, his phone kept vibrating. He glanced at it, then put it back in his pocket.
“Aren’t you going to answer?” Yun Li asked.
“It’s Fu Zhengchu,” Fu Shize replied.
“I haven’t mentioned it before,” Fu Shize continued, “but he’s now pursuing his master’s degree at your undergraduate university.”
“…”
“Do you want to see him?” Fu Shize asked her.
After their breakup, Fu Zhengchu had reached out to check on her a few times.
Due to the reasons for her split with Fu Shize, Yun Li often found it difficult to reply naturally, sometimes even leaving messages unanswered.
Gradually, they stopped communicating altogether.
While waiting for Fu Zhengchu to arrive, Yun Li kept rehearsing what to say in her mind.
Noticing her nervousness, Fu Shize asked thoughtfully, “Were you this nervous before meeting me too?”
“…”
The pointed question brought Yun Li back to her senses. She took a sip of water to calm herself and replied, “Not really.”
Fu Shize pressed, “So, you’re nervous about meeting Fu Zhengchu?”
Hearing a hint of disapproval in his question, Yun Li instinctively explained, “No, it’s just that I didn’t respond to his messages before, so I feel a bit awkward.”
“…”
Yun Li suddenly remembered that she had deleted Fu Shize twice, yet she didn’t seem to feel awkward about it.
Realizing her explanation was making things worse, Yun Li decided to stay quiet.
This exchange pushed thoughts of Fu Zhengchu out of her mind completely.
Though Fu Shize’s expression remained unchanged, Yun Li sensed the atmosphere suddenly grow tense.
She didn’t know how to lighten the mood, but fortunately, Fu Zhengchu arrived on his scooter a few minutes later.
He still had that frank, innocent face, his almond eyes lighting up with joy upon seeing her.
“Sister Li!” Fu Zhengchu called out as soon as he parked his scooter.
He quickly sat down next to her. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Last year, Uncle said you went abroad. Are you back working in China now?”
Yun Li smiled at him, “Yes, I’m doing an internship in Xifu now.”
Fu Zhengchu chatted with her about various trivial matters. Yun Li learned that her roommate Tang Lin was still pursuing Fu Zhengchu. Tang Lin was looking for work in Xifu, hoping to make the most of their proximity.
As the two of them conversed animatedly, Fu Shize remained silent, quietly listening to their conversation. After they finished the dishes, Fu Shize got up to order more food at the stall.
Seeing Fu Shize’s back disappear, Yun Li asked Fu Zhengchu, “When did you find out I went abroad?”
“When you just left last year, I asked Uncle, and that’s what he told me.”
“…”
At that time, Yun Li hadn’t told many people about her plans to go abroad.
Yun Li thought for a moment, wanting to ask him about Fu Shize’s surgery, but seeing Fu Shize return, she had to drop the subject.
Fu Shize appeared relaxed, barely saying a word. The dynamics among the three seemed to revert to when they first met, with Fu Zhengchu single-handedly carrying the conversation.
After finishing their late-night meal, Fu Zhengchu rode his scooter back to his dormitory.
Yun Li was lost in thought and didn’t pay much attention to her surroundings, but she could sense that the scooter was moving much slower than before. She asked, “Is something wrong with the scooter?”
Fu Shize calmly replied, “It’s almost out of battery.”
The north gate was closed at night, so Fu Shize had to take the long way around the campus to enter from the front.
Autumn had arrived in Xifu, bringing cooler temperatures and the scent of osmanthus flowers drifting on the breeze. The road was deserted, with the scooter meandering along the wide street, the end seemingly out of sight.
For a moment, Yun Li had an illusion.
She wished this road would never end.
Sitting behind him, surrounded by the fresh autumn fragrance of osmanthus, she felt his warmth. The emotions she had suppressed and buried deep in her heart began to resurface uncontrollably.
It wasn’t until the scooter stopped that Yun Li realized how much time had passed.
She got off the scooter, and Fu Shize lightly steadied her before letting go.
Yun Li looked up at him. The light illuminated his fair face, making it appear flawless and transparent. The usual aloofness and indifference had disappeared from his brow.
They stood in silence for a long while.
Finally, Yun Li softly said, “Sweet dreams.”
Fu Shize paused, then smiled slightly, “You too. Sweet dreams.”
When Yun Li returned home, it was already past midnight.
The living room was brightly lit, and as soon as she entered, she saw Yuan Yongchang sitting on the sofa with his arms crossed, looking displeased.
She locked the door.
Yuan Yongchang said coldly, “You didn’t go yesterday?”
He was referring to the blind date. Yun Li had refused several times, and when she saw Yuan Yongchang wouldn’t let it go, she simply ignored it altogether.
“Oh, I didn’t know I was supposed to meet someone yesterday,” Yun Li took off her shoes and walked to her bedroom door. “But even if I had known, I wouldn’t have gone.”
Yuan Yongchang: “…”
Yuan Yongchang said angrily, “You’re already twenty-four, and you’re so introverted. If you don’t go on blind dates, how will you ever get married?”
Yun Li had heard these words countless times; her right ear had practically grown calluses from them.
Seeing that she did not react at all, Yuan Yongchang fumed, “You insisted on staying with that guy from Nanwu before, refusing to listen to me. In the end, it all fell apart. The ones your mother and I introduce you to are all…”
This struck a nerve with Yun Li. She immediately closed her door, leaving him to continue his lecture outside.
Yun Li had no desire to argue. She had work tomorrow and was tired. She sat at her dressing table to remove her makeup.
“Why doesn’t this girl understand her parents? If she could handle things well on her own, would we need to worry so much?”
Yuan Yongchang was still rambling in the living room. Yun Li felt a wave of irritation and considered going out to argue.
As she pressed the makeup remover wipes to her eyes, she abandoned the idea of arguing.
Arguing with the unreasonable Yuan Yongchang or submitting to him would not solve anything.
What she needed to do was become financially and personally independent, buy her apartment, and move out.
She lay on her bed for a while, and only after the living room fell silent did Yun Li get up. Her heart wasn’t numb; being spoken to like that by Yuan Yongchang still hurt.
It was too late to vent to anyone.
Yun Li got up and took out the paper lantern ball Fu Shize had given her, lighting it up. Then she turned off the room lights.
Light shone through the perforated paper ball onto the walls, filling all six sides of the room with stars. Yun Li rotated the paper ball, making the points of starlight sway slowly.
She smiled, her mood improving considerably.
…
A few days later, it was time for the internship evaluation presentation. Yun Li spent several days organizing her work from the internship period and prepared a standard report. The results would be out in a few weeks.
During this time, Yun Li didn’t forget to send out resumes.
She interned during the day and worked on practice questions at night. When she summarized her efforts, she realized that since July, she had applied to over thirty companies.
As interview notifications came in one after another, Yun Li didn’t have time to dwell on failed interviews. After summarizing her experiences, she quickly moved on to the next round. Her resume was quite impressive, and her ability to think on her feet had improved, though it was still average. She could only make up for her shortcomings through relentless interning and interviewing.
When the results of the last interview came out, Yun Li heaved a long sigh of relief.
“I feel completely drained,” Yun Li lay on her bed, talking on the phone with Deng Chuqi, who was pursuing a year-and-a-half master’s degree and would return to China next year. She was also job hunting.
“As expected, I didn’t misjudge you,” Deng Chuqi was shocked to hear about her experience. “That’s so damn inspirational.”
“…”
Deng Chuqi asked, “But don’t you prefer being a content creator? Your dad still doesn’t agree?”
“I wanted to see if there were any suitable jobs too,” Yun Li smiled. ” I didn’t expect to get so many offers. My dad thought I’d be lucky to find even one job.”
Yuan Yongchang had always believed that Yun Li would be devastated by interview rejections and would eventually need to rely on his connections to find a contract position.
The definition Yuan Yongchang had given her made Yun Li believe this about herself for a while.
Deng Chuqi suddenly asked, “How are things with Xiaxia’s uncle?”
“Ah…”
“Haven’t you made any progress? Don’t you think you two are meant to be? It’s like you’re tightly bound together!” Deng Chuqi grew more excited as she spoke.
“There won’t be any progress,” Yun Li mumbled. “We haven’t been in touch for a while.”
That wasn’t entirely true. When Yun Ye came home on weekends, he would either forget his books or homework, and she would see Fu Shize every time she brought them over.
Fu Shize would usually bring her a cup of cocoa milk.
Yun Li found it strange.
A hint of something surfaced, but she suppressed it again.
She didn’t want to read too much into Fu Shize’s actions, after all, he was naturally considerate.
After chatting with Deng Chuqi for a bit longer, Yun Li noticed the performance ticket on her desk, perfect for rewarding herself. She changed her clothes, applied light makeup, and went out.
The map showed heavy traffic near Xike University, making it difficult for vehicles to enter the campus. She took a taxi to Xike University.
…
After waiting for a few minutes at the dormitory building, Fu Shize finally saw a striking blue car appear.
“Ah Ze,” Xu Qingsong pushed his sunglasses to the middle of his nose bridge, revealing a pair of captivating eyes. “Long time no see.”
He smoothly reversed the car into a parking spot, humming a tune.
Since Fu Shize returned to Xike University, the two hadn’t had many opportunities to meet. Occasionally, when Xu Qingsong had business in Xifu, they would get together.
Xu Qingsong followed Fu Shize to his dormitory room, single occupancy with a simple bed, desk, and wardrobe.
Fu Shize opened a drawer and took out two performance tickets. Xu Qingsong glanced at the drawer, noticing several boxes of sleeping pills.
He casually picked up a box and shook it, asking, “Has your insomnia improved?”
“Mm,” Fu Shize nodded.
Xu Qingsong looked at the tickets and raised an eyebrow. “Tonight’s show? Who are you going with?”
Fu Shize looked at him.
Xu Qingsong pointed at himself in surprise: “Me? How come I didn’t know about this?”
“Mm.” Fu Shize handed him a cold bottle of water from the fridge. “Li Li will be there too.”
Thinking he heard a familiar name, Xu Qingsong tilted his head towards Fu Shize, as if to hear more clearly: “Yun Li?”
“Mm.”
“…” He pondered for a moment, then smiled, “Didn’t you say you were going to wait until you got your degree before finding her?”
That had been Fu Shize’s original plan.
During the two years away from school, he had been in ruins, both physically and mentally.
Fu Shize didn’t like making empty promises.
He had originally planned to look for Yun Li after graduating with his doctorate, no matter where she was.
“We ran into each other,” Fu Shize said concisely.
Xu Qingsong stroked his chin and asked, “What’s her attitude towards you?”
“Let’s go,” Fu Shize didn’t answer, instead urging him to head to the gymnasium.
“But it doesn’t start until 6:30,” Xu Qingsong didn’t want to move.
It was just past 4 o’clock.
Xu Qingsong had just flown in and driven from the branch company, and now he just wanted to find a place to rest.
Seeing Fu Shize open the door waiting for him, he resigned himself and got up.
The two bought some bread at the convenience store downstairs.
After waiting outside the gymnasium for half an hour, Xu Qingsong felt exasperated.
“Are we just going to wait here?” Xu Qingsong found a comfortable spot to lean against, teasing, “Why didn’t you just ask her out directly?”
Fu Shize was silent for a moment before answering, “She might refuse.”
He cared too much.
He wasn’t sure of the probability of Yun Li refusing and didn’t want to risk it.
“I originally came to have dinner with you. Now we’re here waiting like we’re hunting rabbits,” Xu Qingsong said in a playful tone, then asked curiously, “Why don’t you tell me about it?”
He had come to Xifu on short notice, forcing Fu Shize to ask someone else for an extra ticket.
Fu Shize looked at him: “Tell you what?”
Xu Qingsong’s eyes twinkled with amusement: “Does she know you want to get back together?”
Fu Shize thought for a moment: “Probably not yet.”
The two waited until the gymnasium’s security system was set up, people started entering, and they turned down double-digit requests for contact information before finally catching a glimpse of her.
After getting out of the car, Yun Li checked the time. There were still twenty minutes left.
As she walked towards the ticket check, she saw Fu Shize and Xu Qingsong standing there talking.
The two stood out in the crowd.
Xu Qingsong glanced at her first, nodding politely.
Yun Li stood frozen, unsure whether to advance or retreat, until Fu Shize also looked her way.
“What a coincidence,” Yun Li forced herself to approach them, “I didn’t know you had tickets too.”
“Want to sit together?” Fu Shize asked her.
“Eh…” Yun Li looked at her ticket: “Aren’t there assigned seats?”
“No.”
The three passed through security and found a row of seats together.
Yun Li sat on Fu Shize’s left, with Xu Qingsong on his right. Xu Qingsong made himself inconspicuous, only smiling when Yun Li looked his way.
It was a national tour symphony performance. Xu Qingsong leaned back in his chair, listening half-heartedly.
The lighting in the venue was dim. He turned his head and saw that the two beside him were both sitting unnaturally straight, seemingly tense due to his presence, not talking.
Xu Qingsong inwardly chuckled and excused himself to the restroom.
He wandered around outside for a while before slowly making his way back from the last row. Standing at a distance, he could see Fu Shize’s face turned towards Yun Li.
After he left, the two became more natural. Yun Li would also look up and talk to Fu Shize.
The music from the venue drowned out their voices.
Because Yun Li couldn’t hear clearly, Fu Shize would lean closer to her when speaking.
From Xu Qingsong’s perspective, it looked like he was whispering in her ear.
He decided not to go back.
The day Yun Li asked for a breakup, Xu Qingsong happened to be by the hospital bed.
Fu Shize had gone into shock from pain and underwent emergency surgery. When he woke from anesthesia, he was still mentally sluggish.
After being wheeled back to the ward, Xu Qingsong sat nearby, looking at the IV in Fu Shize’s hand and the oxygen tube in his nose. Fu Shize’s limbs would move involuntarily due to pain, and Xu Qingsong felt an indescribable emotion.
What left a deep impression on Xu Qingsong was that after the surgery, when Fu Shize couldn’t sit up, he kept calling Yun Li repeatedly on his phone.
And during the last call, Yun Li broke up with him.
The phone’s speaker was on, and Xu Qingsong heard everything.
Fu Shize’s face was completely drained of color.
Xu Qingsong had watched Fu Shize being wheeled out of the operating room. Even right after surgery, Fu Shize’s complexion had been better than it was now.
At this moment, he looked as if all life had been sucked out of him.
There was despair mixed with confusion and incomprehension.
He understood, yet didn’t understand, why he had been abandoned.
Later, Xu Qingsong learned that Fu Shize hadn’t told Yun Li about his perforated stomach because Yun Li’s brother was also seriously ill.
It was a normal decision; if it were Xu Qingsong, he would have done the same.
After all, Yun Li was in Xifu, and worrying too much about Fu Shize’s condition might have been too much for her to bear mentally.
Fu Shize believed the reason for the breakup was that Yun Li liked his former self.
He had rarely experienced setbacks and had never tasted the coldness of the world, which destined his love to be pure and intense.
Since he had already fallen for her, he resigned himself to his fate.
After being discharged, he immediately contacted his advisor to return to school, spending day and night in the laboratory.
When Xu Qingsong saw Fu Shize again, for a moment he had the illusion that Fu Shize had returned to his former self.
Until the crowds dispersed.
The two found a bar to sit in, and Fu Shize reverted to his usual coldness.
He had no connection with the outside world, nor any desire for such connection.
Xu Qingsong then realized.
Oh.
He had never changed.
That candle that flickered violently in public, and in private, was still silently extinguished.
It’s just that everyone thought he had changed.