Er’hu, who had grown up on the grounds of Pingshan Stronghold, found it as easy as taking a leisurely stroll through his own backyard to slip past the patrol routes.

Without being detected by a single soul, he crept through the darkness to the south courtyard, heading straight for the yard where Shen Zhuxi resided.

The thought of that delicate, stunning beauty made Er’hu swallow involuntarily.

He had swaggered across these hills for so many years and had never once laid eyes on such a prize.

Sooner or later, the stronghold would hand all three of them over in exchange for a bounty. If the great beauty were to fall into the hands of Wang Wenzhong — that double-faced man with a kind face and a vicious heart — there would be no escaping a tragic end no matter what.

Though death might even be considered the better outcome —

There was no telling whether Wang Wenzhong, that beast, might let his private spite loose and drive her into a life of destitution and disgrace!

Compared to Wang Wenzhong, what was it that he intended to do tonight?

If she were sensible and cooperated with him in having a little fun, perhaps he might soften up and find a way to keep her on as a concubine.

Being a concubine was surely far better than dying, or worse, becoming a courtesan, was it not?

The more Er’hu thought about it, the more he felt he was not going to do something wicked at all — he was going to do something genuinely good.

Where else could one find such a magnanimous soul as himself?

He could only hope the great beauty would come to appreciate his good intentions. Otherwise… she would be in for a great deal of suffering.

Not long after Er’hu slipped into the courtyard, his ears caught the sound of water coming from the bathhouse. Three places were lit — the main bedchamber, the study, and the bathhouse — yet the moment he heard the sound of bathing water, it was as though a spell had been cast on him, and he could see nothing beyond the bathhouse at all.

Only a single thought occupied his mind: Great beauty, your lord has come to enjoy himself with you.

Lust burrowed into his brain, gnawing away at whatever reason remained.

Details that might have raised his suspicion in the daytime were now automatically dismissed.

Er’hu crept silently up to the bathhouse door, moistened his index finger in his mouth, and gently poked a hole through the paper pane between the lattice slats.

Great beauty, your darling husband is here…

Suppressing the quickening of his breath, Er’hu pressed his eye to the hole and strained to peer inside.

The bathhouse was thick with steam, obscuring his view. The great beauty sat with her back to him in the bathing tub, submerged up to the neck, her long black hair spread wet across the surface of the water, half-concealing, half-revealing the graceful scenery along with the drifting mist.

Er’hu was transfixed. Blood surged downward through his body, and what little reason had remained was squeezed further still into the corners of his mind.

He swallowed, soundlessly pushed the door open, and hunched his way inside.

The distance from the threshold to the bathing tub was no more than four steps. Er’hu crept up behind the great beauty on tiptoe and covered her eyes with both hands.

“My dear little beauty —” he leered, “can you guess who I am?”

The great beauty did not move.

There was no scream, no panic, no opportunity for him to say you could shriek your throat raw and no one would come to save you. The air fell suddenly, unnaturally still, time seeming to congeal, with nothing moving but the rippling water in the tub.

This was not how Er’hu had imagined things would go.

Er’hu’s senses began to return to him.

A look of suspicion crossed his face. His hands, still covering the great beauty’s eyes, groped around —

Something was not right. How was this —

A hand, muscular and tanned to a warm brown, rose out of the tub and seized Er’hu by the wrist. The agonised shriek that formed in his throat never made it out, for a tremendous force wrenched him headfirst into the bathing tub.

Hot water surged into his ears. He stared wide-eyed beneath the surface, half-convinced his mind had given way.

Was that Lord Guan Yu’s Green Dragon Crescent Blade?

How could it be so long and so large?

Er’hu thrashed both arms outside the tub in frantic desperation. A moment before he lost consciousness entirely, the figure in the tub finally hauled him upright.

A great cascade of water streamed off both of them.

A face — handsome, yet with the unmistakable air of a rogue — appeared before Er’hu.

“My guess is you’re an old man who’s grown tired of living,” Li Wu said. “Now you guess who I am.”

“Who — who on earth are you —” Er’hu sputtered, his features contorted with fury.

This was his territory. The woman who was supposed to become his had been eating and living on his provisions — and she had dared to hide a man on his own grounds!

“Go on, guess.” Li Wu said.

He stood there bare-skinned, entirely at ease.

Er’hu’s gaze flicked downward, and jealousy poured over the fire of his rage like oil on a blaze. He wrenched himself free of Li Wu’s grip and staggered back two paces from the tub.

“You… you wait,” Er’hu pointed a trembling finger at the man in the tub, “I won’t let you off — one shout from me and your life is forfeit!”

“You’ll regret it.” Li Wu said.

“You’ll be the one regretting your own stupidity!” Er’hu let out a vicious grin and bellowed, “Come —”

Thud!

Er’hu’s skull and the bronze vase that had just connected with the back of his head rang out together in a reverberating crash.

As the white-eyed Er’hu crumpled to the ground, Shen Zhuxi stepped out from behind him, both hands raised high, still clutching the bronze vase.

While Li Wu had been bathing, she had found half a copy of the Analects of Confucius among the objects wedged under the table leg. She had taken it to the study to pass the time, when she suddenly heard sounds coming from the bathhouse across the way and rushed over to see what was happening — and this was the scene that had greeted her.

Had Er’hu raised the alarm, it would not only have cost Li Wu his life — it would have cost all of them theirs.

In a moment of desperation, she had snatched up the decorative bronze vase nearby.

After the resounding clang, Shen Zhuxi squeezed her eyes shut, both hands trembling, and asked Li Wu in a voice on the verge of tears: “Did I knock him out?! Did I knock him out?!”

“You knocked him out —” Li Wu took the bronze vase from her hands. “You really are a little fool.”

The moment Shen Zhuxi opened her eyes, she snapped them shut again.

This time she was still on the verge of tears — only for an entirely different reason.

“Put your clothes on this instant!”

Her face flushed scarlet, she said it with absolutely no authority whatsoever.

“Look all you like, I don’t mind.” Li Wu replied with lazy nonchalance.

“I mind!” Shen Zhuxi’s face burned even hotter in the steam of the bathhouse. She turned around, putting her back to Li Wu. “Be quick about it — he’ll be coming round again soon…”

“If he dares come round, I’ll send him straight off for a tea with the King of Hell…”

The rustling sound of someone dressing came from behind her. After a moment, Li Wu passed by her side, dragging Er’hu by one ankle.

“Come on, let’s find somewhere else.” He said.

Shen Zhuxi hurried after him.

The still-bruised and swollen Er’hu, as he was hauled past the threshold, made direct contact between his face and the hard wooden doorstep.

The dull, heavy impact made even Shen Zhuxi’s nose ache in sympathy.

After the face-first collision, Er’hu’s head lolled to one side, and the spot on the back of his skull that Shen Zhuxi had already struck with the bronze vase made intimate contact with the threshold once more, producing another resounding thud.

“…He won’t die, will he?” Shen Zhuxi’s face had gone pale.

“He won’t die.” Li Wu said with complete certainty.

He gripped Er’hu by one foot and dragged him along like an ordinary, worn-out old mop, strolling at a leisurely pace all the way into the main bedchamber of the small courtyard.

As Li Wu dragged the man inside, she followed behind to close the door and slide the bolt.

Compared to Li Wu, who was entirely accustomed to this sort of thing, Shen Zhuxi — who had no relevant experience whatsoever — was considerably more tense.

After securing the bedroom door, she quickly stepped into the inner room. Li Wu was in the middle of cursing a steady stream under his breath while kicking the unconscious Er’hu with single-minded dedication, each kick aimed squarely at the most vulnerable area of Er’hu’s lower abdomen.

“How dare you spy on me bathing — I’ll make sure you spend the rest of your life as a eunuch —”

“Stop hitting him first!” Shen Zhuxi said, her expression urgent.

“He spied on me bathing, and I can’t even —”

Shen Zhuxi cut him off. “What if he wakes up and starts screaming, or makes a run for it?”

The reason she gave was not what he had expected. Li Wu paused, and the foot he had raised slowly came back down.

“You make a fair point — find me a rope.”

Shen Zhuxi searched the room, then untied the curtain cords from the bed drapes and handed them to him.

Li Wu made quick work of binding Er’hu’s hands and feet tightly.

When he looked up, Shen Zhuxi was already holding out a floor-cleaning cloth.

Li Wu glanced at her a moment longer than usual, took the cloth, and stuffed it into the still-unconscious Er’hu’s mouth.

“Shen Zhuxi, you’ve come a long way.” Li Wu said.

Though the reason she was being praised was for her distinguished service as an accomplice, Shen Zhuxi could not help but break into an abashed smile.

“When even three days apart can change a person, how could I not have grown when we’ve been separated for far more than three days?”

“The little fool is teachable after all.” Li Wu gave the top of her head a vigorous rub.

Her hair was thoroughly messed up — yet she did not feel the least bit annoyed. In fact, the corners of her mouth curled even higher.

Only after Li Wu had trussed Er’hu up into a bound, gagged cocoon did Shen Zhuxi speak again. “Why would Er’hu turn up here?”

“The wretch was obviously after you. He just didn’t expect he’d stumble headlong into something he hadn’t bargained for. Daring to spy on my woman bathing — that’s even more of an offence than spying on me bathing —”

The matter stirred up Li Wu’s temper all over again, and he delivered a fierce kick to Er’hu’s body.

His strength was not to be underestimated. A single kick produced a dull, sack-like thud from Er’hu’s body, and the previously unconscious Er’hu stirred with a groan, gradually forcing his eyes open.

“Mmph mmph —”

Catching sight of Li Wu in front of him, Er’hu twisted and writhed like a startled worm.

“You know how to be scared now? What were you thinking before?” Li Wu drove a kick into Er’hu’s stomach and snarled, “Didn’t I tell you you’d regret it?”

Racked with pain yet unable to cry out, Er’hu could only manage muffled, whimpering sounds of distress.

“What do we do with him now?” Shen Zhuxi asked, uneasy.

“Since you’ve come all this way, there’s no hurry to leave.” Li Wu planted a foot on Er’hu’s swollen, bruised cheek and ground down with deliberate pressure. “Keep him here as our guest for a couple of days.”

“Where is there a place to hide someone here?”

“Leave it to me.”

Li Wu seized Er’hu by the hair, struck the back of his neck with a sharp blow, and knocked the whimpering, pleading Er’hu back into unconsciousness.

……

“What?! Er’hu has run off from the wedding?!”

Da Hu’s face changed dramatically. He glared at the flustered messenger who had come to report.

The wedding procession had already assembled in full at the stronghold gates. Da Hu had harbored misgivings about being deceived all along, and so when planning the wedding, he had taken an extra precaution, deliberately filling the betrothal gifts with items that were heavy but of little value — after all, Niuwang had made no stipulations about the quantity of the gifts.

He had guarded against Niuwang, but had forgotten about Er’hu!

Of all the things he had not anticipated, Er’hu — the very one who had brought Niuwang back up the mountain — had fled at the last moment!

What was he supposed to do now? Send Xiao Hu, the impotent one, to take a wife in his stead?

“Young master! Young master! Someone has shot a message in on an arrow —”

A small henchman came running down from the watchtower, waving an arrow and a strip of cloth.

Someone exclaimed involuntarily: “That’s the garment the second young master was wearing yesterday…”

Da Hu tore the strip of cloth away and read it. The blood rushed straight to his head.

The strip contained only a few short lines:

“If you wish your brother returned safely, prepare three thousand silver taels as ransom. We will make the exchange at the hour of the Sheep.”

“Young master… it looks like there’s writing on the back as well…”

The small henchman pointed uncertainly at the reverse side of the cloth.

Da Hu turned it over, and his expression swiftly froze. Before the literate man beside him could make out what was written, Da Hu crumpled the cloth in his fist.

On the reverse of the cloth was a short poem —

“A Guide to Getting Rich”

“No silver given — the root returned.”

“Add ten thousand more — the problem solved forever.”