Impotence was not something one could fake.

For any man to admit to it, he would have had to verify it with no fewer than a thousand attempts — eating Chinese chives and bull’s tendon for every meal, and still being at a complete loss — before being forced to acknowledge such a thing as fact.

Xiao Hu said she was impotent, and not a single person present doubted it.

Da Hu clapped her on the shoulder and, for once, showed a rare and genuine flicker of sympathy.

“Don’t worry. Elder Brother will pretend he never heard those words just now, and will not breathe a word of it to anyone.”

Xiao Hu said nothing. She already knew that word of her impotence would sweep through the entire stronghold within half a day.

But it didn’t matter —

She was, in fact, impotent.

The task of marrying Master Niubi’s sibling and altering the family’s eight characters ultimately fell to Er Hu. Unable to overcome Da Hu, who had already been appointed young master, Er Hu gritted his teeth and agreed to the marriage.

“Little brother has been careless with money over the years — Elder Brother knows this well. Being able to marry Master Niubi’s sibling is a great blessing for me, but when it comes to the betrothal gifts, I truly am willing in spirit but lacking in means…”

“This is a joyous occasion for the entire stronghold, so naturally the stronghold will provide,” Da Hu said at once. “The stronghold master had already prepared betrothal gifts for you — it was only your own reluctance to marry that kept things stalled.”

“Then I shall simply stand back and let others handle it all, and wait quietly for marriage to find me —”

Er Hu forced out a vicious smile before turning and sweeping out of the room in a fury.

Da Hu said, “First thing tomorrow morning, the stronghold will send the betrothal gifts. When will the bride be ready to board her sedan chair?”

“The hour of the Dog is an auspicious time,” Niuwang said. “But my sibling has a most formidable fate. The men who carry the dowry chests and those who come to escort the bride must be above fifteen and below thirty-five, robust and powerful. Since I am giving away my sibling on short notice, all other aspects must be of no lesser quality than anyone else’s. You must bring no fewer than one hundred people who meet these requirements to conduct the wedding procession.”

“This…” Da Hu hesitated.

Above fifteen and below thirty-five, robust and powerful — and no fewer than one hundred of them.

That would be taking away a full third of the stronghold’s able-bodied fighting force just for a wedding procession.

“I’m only asking you to bring them for a wedding procession, not for anything else — and you’re even unwilling to do that? Where is your sincerity?” Master Niubi’s brow knitted and his voice rose with displeasure. “It’s not as if this monk is eager to marry off a sibling. Fine, fine — release this monk to go back down the mountain right now!”

“Master, please do not take offense. I was only confirming things — the stronghold will absolutely comply with your requirements.” Da Hu paused, then said with deliberate significance, “So long as it can wake the stronghold master, even if it means carving flesh from my own body as an offering — as a dutiful son, I would not hesitate.”

Well now. He was an even better actor than Niuwang himself.

Niuwang felt a small surge of competitive alarm. Unwilling to cede the stage to this man, he touched his bare head with a look of earnest gravity. “Originally that would have been needed — but this monk’s spiritual power is formidable, so I will spare you the pain of offering flesh. During the wedding procession, you and this monk will remain here to conduct a ceremony to summon the departed spirit. That will be sufficient.”

“Then skip the flesh and take blood instead.” Da Hu said. “I will gather the entire stronghold to support the ceremony. Master, proceed without restraint — the one thing I ask is that the stronghold master be revived. You have agreed to my every condition — I have but this one wish in return. Master, please do not disappoint me.”

Da Hu said meaningfully:

“To have the stronghold master wake up and witness everything I have done for him… I have satisfied your every request, Master. I have only this one wish. Do not let me down.”

“You may rest completely at ease. Once this potent remedy of mine takes effect, the stronghold master will wake without delay. If he does not wake, this Niubi will personally remove his own head and hand it to you to use as a ball.”

Da Hu’s misgivings were put to rest. He said, “In that case, I will say no more. The Master has only just arrived — allow me to arrange a place for you to rest.”

“This monk will see to that himself.”

Niuwang pinched his fingers together and fell into thought for a moment, then lifted his foot and headed south.

Da Hu and his men exchanged glances and quickly followed. Xiao Hu had not intended to get mixed up in this, but seeing that the bald donkey was heading south — toward the southern courtyard where Shen Zhuxi and the other two were being held — she thought it over and followed along anyway.

Niuwang wound around this way and that, and the place he finally stopped was, as expected, the southern courtyard where Shen Zhuxi’s three companions were held.

“There are already people here. Find somewhere else.” Xiao Hu’s expression was displeased.

“It is not that this monk wishes to stay here — it is that for the sake of your father’s well-being, this monk has no choice but to stay here.” Niuwang stopped outside the gate to the courtyard where Li Que was confined, shaking his head. “Whoever lives inside here — their eight characters conflict with your father’s. Move them out at once.”

“Move them where?” Da Hu said immediately. “This person is of great importance to our stronghold. They must be watched at all times.”

“Let me calculate…” Niuwang randomly pinched his fingers together and said, “The east side. The farther from your father the better.”

The two guards at the courtyard gate looked to Da Hu.

Da Hu hesitated for a long moment, then at last gave a nod. “Bring the person to the east gatehouse and lock him in a watchtower.”

“Yes!”

The two guards acknowledged the order and immediately pushed open the gate to escort Li Que out.

Li Que emerged with a somber expression, being shoved and pushed — then his eyes landed on Niuwang standing at the gate, and his expression underwent a subtle shift.

He moved his gaze away and met a pair of eyes staring fixedly at him.

Li Que gave Xiao Hu a taunting curl of his lip, then shook off the guard’s hand from his shoulder and said coldly, “I can walk on my own.”

After Li Que was escorted away, Niuwang stepped across the threshold into the courtyard that had previously held him.

“Bring me a Buddha statue, a Buddha altar table, and offerings — good wine, hearty meat — and there must be braised pig’s trotters.” Niuwang made himself at home with the ease of someone in his own residence, waving his hand as he urged them along impatiently. “Quickly now — the Buddha does not wait.”

“Master — what was it you just said you wanted for the offerings?” Da Hu wondered if his hearing was failing him.

“Good wine, hearty meat, and specifically requested braised pig’s trotters.” Xiao Hu leaned against the door frame with her arms crossed and said with a cold smile, “He’s just a rogue monk. Has Elder Brother not seen through him yet?”

“Xiao Hu —” Da Hu’s expression turned stern, half-genuine and half-feigned. “You will not be rude to the Master.”

Xiao Hu gave a cold laugh and said nothing more.

Niuwang put in requests for various and sundry other items, and having set up the posture of one about to commune with the Buddha, Da Hu and Xiao Hu finally departed from the gate.

In the name of “attending to the Master,” Da Hu did not forget to leave two guards stationed outside the gate, filling the gap that had been left.

One Li Que gone, one Niuwang arrived — to Pingshan Stronghold’s eyes, the western courtyard still held three people confined.

In reality, the fourth person had already slipped unseen and unheard into the row of three adjacent courtyards.

“…So I’ve got frog spawn in my left hand and sulfur powder in my right, scared to death they’d come over and check my hands —”

Shen Zhuxi was already completely absorbed in Niuwang’s vivid and lively retelling of how he had outmaneuvered the three brothers, but at this moment she still couldn’t help interrupting, “What is frog spawn?”

“Oh, oh — it’s the egg clusters that frogs lay.” Niuwang said. “That Hu surname little brother kept staring at my hands the whole time — I was worried he might have figured something out.”

“What could he figure out?” Li Wu was sprawled on the bed, one leg casually propped up, entirely unconcerned. “He doesn’t know you’re on our side.”

“Maybe she picked up on something along the way.” Shen Zhuxi said. “Xiao Hu is perceptive. The reason she didn’t expose anything may be because she noticed some connection between Brother Niu and us.”

“Hey, that’s impossible!” Niuwang immediately slipped into full Master Niubi mode, eyes wide and indignant. “You are questioning this monk’s acting skills!”

Shen Zhuxi stared at his smooth bare head and finally asked the question she had been putting off for a while. “Brother Niu — your hair… you really cut all of it off?”

“What else would it be?” Niuwang rubbed his bare forehead with a satisfied air. “These ordination scars — I drew them on myself, one by one, looking in a mirror.”

What Shen Zhuxi wanted to say was: a person’s hair is received from their parents, and even cutting a single lock is considered as weighty as separating from one’s own flesh — that is why the expression “cutting hair to declare one’s resolve” carries such gravity. Yet Niuwang had simply shaved his entire head for the sake of saving them.

A chance acquaintance, and he had sacrificed his hair to rescue them.

What had she done to deserve such treatment?

If she ever returned to the palace, she would certainly bestow upon him a third-rank —

Oh. She would not be returning to the palace.

Shen Zhuxi blinked back tears of gratitude and said:

“This rescue could not have happened without Brother Niu’s great sacrifice. Zhuxi will never forget this kindness as long as she lives. My cooking is poor, but I wonder if Brother Niu is fond of boiled eggs? I’d like to make some boiled eggs for Brother Niu to nourish his strength —”

“He doesn’t like them.” Li Wu shot upright from the bed. “He told me just yesterday that boiled eggs are the one thing he hates most in this world.”

The Niuwang who had “hated boiled eggs his entire life” stared blankly at Li Wu, unable to recall when he had said any such thing last night.

“Master Niubi, have you finished adjusting the feng shui?” The voice of a guard calling from outside the courtyard could be heard.

Niuwang rose from the table, turned to Li Wu, and said, “Master, I’ll be off now —”

“Master?” Shen Zhuxi was stunned.

“Yes, off you go. Put on a good performance,” Li Wu said with the air of someone completely accustomed to this, not a trace of concern in his voice.

After Niuwang turned away, he immediately resumed the bearing of Master Niubi, bellowing in a rough and coarse voice, “Stop rushing me! You’ve scared off the Buddha with all your hurrying!”

Once Niuwang had gone, Shen Zhuxi asked at once, “Why does Brother Niu call you Master?”

“I taught him how to swindle — how to turn everyday life into grand theater. You could say I showed him the way. Though there was never a formal apprenticeship ceremony, if he calls me Master once, it isn’t wrong.”

“Brother Niu doesn’t eat boiled eggs — then how am I supposed to express my gratitude?” Shen Zhuxi asked, looking disappointed.

“Don’t bother,” Li Wu said impatiently. “What is there to express?”

“Fair enough,” Shen Zhuxi said. “I’ll simply hold it in my heart.”

“I told you not to express it, not to hold it in your heart — and you’ve already started calling him ‘Brother Niu’! How are you supposed to hold it in your heart?” Li Wu said sourly. “When you first met me, you never called me ‘Brother Li Wu.’ Which matters more to you — Brother Niu or me?”

Petty complaints drifted past her ear. Shen Zhuxi treated them as though she had heard nothing.

She said with genuine concern, “How did Brother Niu come to be with you? What happened to the others he came with?”

“Naturally, they’ve all been brought along — your husband has a head for profit, and can afford to feed those four hundred people now.” Li Wu said with self-satisfaction.

“Then they…” Shen Zhuxi had already half-guessed their plan.

That was precisely why she looked so astonished.

Li Wu curved his lips into a smile. “Waiting to receive Pingshan Stronghold’s finest fighters.”

……

“Ouch!”

Er Hu burned his mouth on the tea and erupted at once in fury, hurling the teacup and all its contents at the guard standing before him.

“What do you think you’re doing?! Trying to scald me to death?!”

“This one would not dare, this one would not dare…”

The guard dropped to his knees in a panic.

Er Hu kicked him aside and snarled, “The stronghold master isn’t dead yet! Whether this young master can still become master hasn’t been decided — and you already dare to look down on me?”

Another enormous injustice was piled on a target already being made to suffer for someone else’s rage. The attendant in question was rendered speechless and could only knock his head against the floor in repeated apology.

“Ptooey!” Er Hu spat on him. “A faithless, ungrateful wretch — drag him out and beat him to death!”

“Second Young Master!”

The attendant kept crying out in agony as he was dragged away.

The screams gradually faded, yet Er Hu’s expression remained as dark as ever.

The other servants and attendants in the same rooms all held their breath and dared not make a sound, terrified that one misstep would bring that fury raining down on them.

Seeing their pale, trembling faces only stoked Er Hu’s irritation further. He let out a heavy, dismissive snort, grabbed his fan, and swept out of the courtyard in a dramatic billow of his robes.

The attendants exchanged helpless glances. Not one of them dared to follow, or had any desire to.

Er Hu walked alone through the stronghold in the growing night.

Firelight blazed from the watchtowers at the northeast, southeast, southwest, and northwest corners of the stronghold, and in the flickering light, figures could faintly be seen moving beside the flames.

Er Hu kicked a stone out of his path and muttered darkly under his breath. “…A handsome appearance, taller than me — what kind of woman is that supposed to be? No wonder she can’t find a husband at twenty-two — the audacity of that bald scoundrel! He clearly had a sister he couldn’t marry off and cooked up all this talk of family fate just to trick me into taking that mannish woman! Infuriating! Absolutely infuriating!”

Er Hu drove his knife into the trunk of an inoffensive tree nearby and stabbed it several times in quick succession with a darkened expression.

“And Elder Brother is no better — he truly ought to drop dead! What kind of logic is it for the older one not to marry first and instead let me, the younger one, marry before him?”

The more he thought about it, the angrier he became, and the more he felt he could not simply swallow this loss.

“That mannish woman is arriving tomorrow. Who knows what kind of shrew she’ll turn out to be. I had better find a way to have my own fun first.”

His mind made up, he checked that no one was watching, and crept in quiet, careful steps toward the southern courtyard.