“A force that fights constantly does not grow slack,” Li Gu said. “Every place has its own way of surviving. Since you are going to Mobei, I would advise Your Highness to make your guards fight the way the people of Mobei do — by raiding frequently. The cattle, horses, and slaves taken in raids should be distributed according to Mobei custom: a portion goes up to Your Highness, and the rest is kept by the men themselves.”

Xie Yuzhang’s eyes brightened. But before she could say a word, Yang Huaishen was the first to bristle with displeasure: “These are a princess’s personal guards — how can you have them engage in plundering? Fucheng, don’t come up with such terrible ideas. Baohua, don’t take him seriously.”

Li Gu raised an eyebrow.

Xie Yuzhang looked at Yang Huaishen and said seriously: “Second Elder Brother, what Shiyi Lang is suggesting is not a terrible idea at all. I have asked around — this is how things work on the grasslands. Clans fight each other constantly, raiding one another back and forth. The clans that live by raiding are often the most powerful. The small clans that meekly keep their heads down raising cattle and sheep have a very hard time surviving — one stroke of bad luck, and they end up as slaves.”

Yang Huaishen slammed down his cup, anger rising: “Those are barbarians beyond the pale of civilization! You are a princess of Da Zhao!”

“But I,” Xie Yuzhang said calmly, “am about to become the wife of a barbarian.”

Looking at Yang Huaishen, who at this moment was still so naively laughable, Xie Yuzhang felt a deep sadness. She glanced at Li Gu — Li Gu might appear quietly reserved, but at his core he was a wolf. Yang Huaishen, meanwhile, looked free-spirited and graceful, but had long since been fattened by Yunjing’s splendor into a sheep.

Here in this heart of Yunjing, they were all sheep. So when the wolves came, they were herded into the fold and slaughtered at will.

“Second Elder Brother!” Xie Yuzhang’s gaze sharpened. “You’re not getting any younger — what’s the point of just drifting along in the Imperial Guard? Why not take this opportunity to speak with Uncle, and ask to go out west with Shiyi Lang and his company for a while, to broaden your horizons?”

At those words, Yang Huaishen was visibly startled — and Li Gu’s gaze also became quietly intent.

“What are you talking about? How could I possibly…” Yang Huaishen said instinctively.

How could I possibly leave Yunjing?

“Why not?” Xie Yuzhang countered. “Uncle is still in his prime. Elder Brother A’Shen’s career is going smoothly, and he and Elder Sister-in-law are there to attend to Uncle and Aunt. You, as the second son, are perfectly free to go out and broaden your horizons.”

Yang Huaishen fell silent.

In the minds of young men like them, if one was going to leave home and broaden one’s horizons, naturally the best destination was the south of the Yangtze River — pleasure boats and painted barges, surrounded by beauties leaning close.

The Northwest? What kind of place was the Northwest? Just look — in the middle of summer, Li Qi Lang and Li Shiyi Lang already had skin that was dark and rough. Was the Northwest somewhere good?

And yet Xie Yuzhang, as a younger sister, had an unusually resolute gaze. The corners of her lips were drawn tight, her expression serious — clearly she was not joking.

Yang Huaishen had a vague feeling this was not the first time they had spoken of this. The last time, it seemed, Baohua had also urged him to go out with Shiyi Lang to see the world. She seemed rather fixed on this matter?

Li Gu shifted his gaze from Xie Yuzhang’s face and said to Yang Huaishen: “If Jingshan is willing, I’ll speak to my foster father.”

Arranging for a young man of noble birth from the capital to take an informal post in the military, stay a year or so, have a few minor battle credits filed for him — nothing too large, nothing too small — earn him a promotion, some polish, and then send him home in one piece: this was a perfectly common arrangement between regional commanders and the capital’s powerful families.

But if Yang Huaishen were truly willing and had the heart for it, Li Gu was confident he could genuinely temper him into someone capable.

Xie Yuzhang, seeing Li Gu support her, shot him a glance and felt inwardly quite pleased. She turned back to look at Yang Huaishen, her heart urgently pressing: Say yes! Say yes! The future emperor himself has spoken — this is an opportunity, seize it!

Li Gu forcibly averted his attention from that brief glance, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead on Yang Huaishen, afraid that if he didn’t control himself, his eyes would wander of their own accord.

Yang Huaishen had not expected both of them to press him so firmly, and was stunned.

Many thoughts turned over in his mind. After a moment, he suddenly pressed his lips into a thin line and said: “I’ll go home and talk it over with Father.”

A rush of joy rose in Xie Yuzhang’s heart. Yang Changyuan would sooner or later throw his lot in with Li Gu — and naturally, the sooner the better.

Li Gu, however, looked at her and thought: why is she so pleased? It is said that a mother’s brother is like a second mother — yet a cousin is one generation removed. For her to care this much about Jingshan… could it be that she… has feelings for him?

He fixed his gaze on Yang Huaishen. The man’s physique, admittedly, could not compare to the robust men of the northwest — but his face was handsome as jade, lips red and teeth white, every gesture elegant and refined. He was precisely the sort of beautiful man most favored by mainstream Yunjing taste.

If she were not being sent to Mobei as a peace bride — if she had stayed in Yunjing — wouldn’t she have eventually married someone like Jingshan? Or someone like Si Lang, whose father was a military governor, from a family of great renown?

No matter where she might have married, she and he would always be this far apart.

Li Gu felt something ache vaguely in his chest — a feeling he had never had before.

Faintly bitter.

Before they parted, Xie Yuzhang said to Yang Huaishen: “Second Elder Brother, please tell Uncle and Aunt for me — I have some things I can’t take with me, and I’d like to leave them at the Duke’s estate before I go. Please ask Uncle and Aunt to clear a storeroom for me.”

Yang Huaishen was surprised.

Peace brides seldom returned home — once you left, it was for a lifetime. If the things were important, why not take them? If they weren’t important, why specifically ask the Duke of Merit’s estate to store them?

But he still agreed. Xie Yuzhang was his aunt’s only flesh and blood, and was about to be parted from them forever — no matter what she asked, his parents would certainly say yes.

Xie Yuzhang’s recent gains had far exceeded her expectations, and she was in genuinely high spirits. She smiled and thanked Li Gu: “I’ve benefited greatly from Shiyi Lang’s guidance — I truly hope there will be more chances to talk with Shiyi Lang.”

Li Gu opened his mouth, meaning to say that so long as neither of them had left Yunjing yet, he was at her service at any time.

But Yang Huaishen flicked his riding crop, wedged himself between the two of them, and addressed Xie Yuzhang in a deliberately casual tone: “Shiyi Lang is here on official business with Lord Li — he doesn’t have that much time. If you need anything, just find your elder brother.”

Xie Yuzhang had made her interest in Li Gu far too obvious.

If something real were to develop, then two young hearts breaking was still the smaller matter; but if the two of them lost their heads and, say, eloped together — of course, Li Shiyi didn’t look like the sort of man who would elope with anyone’s daughter, but one still had to guard against it. A peace marriage was a matter of state. Even knowing Xie Yuzhang liked Li Gu, knowing she would suffer, the greater picture still had to be kept in mind.

Both Xie Yuzhang and Li Gu looked at him. Neither of them said anything. Li Gu took his leave of Xie Yuzhang, watched her mount her horse and ride away, then bade farewell to Yang Huaishen and rode off.

When Xie Yuzhang returned to Zhaoxia Palace, there was still a smile on her brow. Lin Fei was quite astonished.

“How is Commandery Princess Kangle’s health?” she asked.

“Same as always,” Xie Yuzhang said. “Always looking wan and sickly, lying or leaning about all day — only takes walks in the evening.”

Then why was she in such good spirits? Lin Fei couldn’t understand.

Xie Yuzhang asked: “Is that matter taken care of?”

Lin Fei nodded: “The word has been passed down. Only the amount is rather large, so it will take some time.”

Xie Yuzhang let out a breath and said: “That’s fine. I still have time.”

She had just changed into fresh clothes when someone entered the inner chamber, called out “Your Highness,” and then fell to their knees with a thud.

Xie Yuzhang lifted her eyes to look. It was none other than Nanny Xu, who had been impossible to find these past days.

Xie Yuzhang looked at Lin Fei. Lin Fei finished fastening the last sash on her garment, then led the palace maids out and withdrew.

“What is this, Nanny? Please get up.” Though she said these words, Xie Yuzhang made no move to go help this Nanny Superintendent of Zhaoxia Palace to her feet herself — she simply sat down beside the dressing table.

Nanny Xu felt a vague disorientation. These past days she had been busy running about and had indeed neglected the affairs of Zhaoxia Palace — but how, in such a short time, had Princess Baohua’s entire bearing seemed to become a completely different person?

Xie Yuzhang’s gaze, calm to the point of unfamiliarity, settled on her, and Nanny Xu gave a start and came to her senses. She bowed to the floor: “This servant, this servant…” As she spoke, she choked up. Her forehead pressed to the ground, refusing to rise.

Nanny Xu was a female official of ranked standing, yet in all her daily intimacy with Xie Yuzhang, when had she ever formally referred to herself as “this servant”?

Xie Yuzhang gazed at this middle-aged woman.

After the late Empress had passed, the inner palace had been dominated by Noble Consort Chen, who had gradually replaced all the people around her one by one. Nanny Xu was, in truth, Noble Consort Chen’s person.

Yet Nanny Xu had always taken good care of her. After Lin Fei came, and Xie Yuzhang favored and relied on Lin Fei, Lin Fei had, to a certain extent, taken away some of Nanny Xu’s authority within Zhaoxia Palace — but Nanny Xu had not made too much of it, and had coexisted with Lin Fei in peace.

She had not actually done anything to betray Xie Yuzhang.

Xie Yuzhang simply did not want to recall how Nanny Xu had looked in her final moments. By then she had been so aged, her eyes empty and fixed on the top of the tent, her lips murmuring. If you pressed your ear close, you would hear what it was she had been murmuring all along —

I want to go back to Yunjing.

I want to go back to Yunjing.

Back to Yunjing…

Who didn’t want to go back to Yunjing? Who wanted to live day and night among herds of cattle and horses, in that rough and constantly fearful existence?

When Nanny Xu died, Xie Yuzhang had stayed by her side the entire time — just as Lin Fei would later stay by Xie Yuzhang’s side. She had seen Nanny Xu off, and with her own hands had closed those eyes that, unable to return to their homeland, had refused to shut.

Those eyes had been full of grievance.

“Nanny already knows, I suppose?” Xie Yuzhang said softly. “I removed Nanny’s name from the list. Nanny need not go with me for the peace marriage. Whether you go to another palace, or wait for the next time palace servants are released to return home — Nanny can arrange that yourself, as you see fit.”

Nanny Xu wept bitterly.

Yet just like Fuchun, in the end she could not speak the noble words “I will go with Your Highness.”

Lin Fei was kneeling in the outer chamber. When she saw Nanny Xu, hands pressed to her face, come hurrying out of the inner chamber and stride quickly away, she rose and entered the inner chamber.

“It’s all right,” she said, taking Xie Yuzhang’s hand. “I am here with you. I will always stay with you.”

In her past life, she had said these same words, and had kept them. Right up to Xie Yuzhang’s last moment, she had been there beside her.

But in this life, there was no need.

Xie Yuzhang smiled and clasped her hand in return: “Good.”

No need, A’Fei.

The revised formal roster was finalized, and for a time some families rejoiced while others grieved.

That the Nanny Superintendent of Zhaoxia Palace herself was not on the roster caused a great many people to feel outrage. Nanny Xu stayed shut up in her room and refused to come out to face people. Whatever tasks Xie Yuzhang sent her way, she carried out in silence — but whenever she could see fewer people, she would.

The authority and governance of Zhaoxia Palace was given over entirely to Lin Fei.

“Who did she put forward?” Noble Consort Chen hadn’t even opened the roster when she received it — until her Nanny whispered something in her ear, and she was startled.

The Nanny said: “It’s the former Head Superintendent Nanny Xia from the Empress’s palace.”

Noble Consort Chen drew in a sharp breath: “Wasn’t she let out of the palace long ago?” At the time, she had even given generous parting gifts to the former Empress’s servants who had been released — and the Emperor had praised her for it.

“Who would have guessed the old creature never left Yunjing at all — she quietly opened a shop in the city and tucked herself away there. If she hadn’t stepped forward herself this time, who among us would even have remembered her.” said the Nanny.

The former Head Superintendent Nanny Xia of the Empress’s palace — even now, just thinking of her made Noble Consort Chen instinctively draw in her neck. She had been the Empress’s right hand and left arm. Back in those days, even the Emperor had shown Nanny Xia considerable deference.

And so the moment the Empress died, Noble Consort Chen had immediately sent all the Empress’s former attendants out of the palace.

Noble Consort Chen recalled the grievances she had suffered in the Empress’s quarters back then. A tightness in her chest still came with the memory. She swallowed that breath down.

“Fine — she wants to go with Baohua, let her go. I’d like to see whether those few old bones of hers can survive the wild wolves.” She waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t talk to me about these things anymore. They’re all leaving anyway — out of sight, out of mind. Where’s Qiu’e — is that flower juice ready yet? Come here and dye my nails for me. It takes so long to dry, and if I drag it out any longer, His Majesty will be here before it’s even set…”

In Zhaoxia Palace, Nanny Xia — silver threads now showing at her temples — had not imagined she would be able to see Princess Baohua — the Empress’s own flesh and blood — even before the departure.

Once the news of Xie Yuzhang’s peace marriage had spread beyond the palace walls, she had sought out old acquaintances still within the palace, paid to smooth the way, and arranged to go with Xie Yuzhang. While everyone else was paying bribes to get themselves off the list, she was doing the opposite — and so it had gone through without a hitch, her name falling straight onto the roster.

Princess Baohua, Xie Yuzhang, received that roster, removed Nanny Xu’s name from it, and elevated Nanny Xia straight to the position of Head Superintendent. The Crown Prince had also spoken, saying to let Princess Baohua have her way in everything and accommodate her wishes as much as possible — so there was no reason for those below to go against it. Nanny Xia, who had left the palace precincts years ago, returned.

“Please rise, Nanny.” Xie Yuzhang went to help Nanny Xia up herself.

“Propriety cannot be set aside,” Nanny Xia said. “Your Highness is the sovereign, and this subject is the minister — please allow this servant to pay this bow.”

She bowed to the ground after all. But Xie Yuzhang turned slightly aside and accepted only half the salute.

“All these years, I did not know you had remained in Yunjing all along. You have suffered, Nanny.” Xie Yuzhang took her hand and said.

Nanny Xia had known that although she was one of the Empress’s former people, she had not been at Xie Yuzhang’s side all these years — she had feared the affection of those earlier days would have long since faded from the girl’s memory, and in her heart had held no real expectations. Yet Xie Yuzhang showed not the slightest estrangement — as though the years between them had never passed at all.

Nanny Xia was overwhelmed by a surge of mingled feelings. She suppressed the ache in her heart and said: “I have not suffered. Her Late Ladyship anticipated things early on and arranged an path for me well in advance. This servant has always lived well.”

Xie Yuzhang did not ask why she had not come to find her all those years. For that question, she had already asked in her past life.

At that time, Nanny Xia had said: Your Highness was always doing well — you had no need of this servant.

And so when Xie Yuzhang needed her, she had abandoned her settled life in Yunjing without a moment’s hesitation and followed her to Mobei.

Nanny Xia had so much she wanted to say to Xie Yuzhang.

About the Empress, about Noble Consort Chen, about so many, many things. All these years in Yunjing she had been quietly observing and gathering information. The princess had been raised too sheltered, too innocent, too unknowing of the world — if she were to remain at the Emperor’s side, it would be fine enough. But she was now going far away for a peace marriage, and there was far too much Nanny Xia needed to teach her.

Yet strangely, she had said nothing at all — and those eyes of Xie Yuzhang’s shimmered with a misty light, as though she already understood everything, already knew everything.

Those eyes did not belong to a girl not yet fourteen years of age.

Her little princess — what had she been through?

In her past life, before they departed, Nanny Xia had also come to pay her respects to Xie Yuzhang. Xie Yuzhang had been glad, of course, to see such loyalty from the Empress’s former people — but having grown up all these years with Nanny Xu at her side, she had, in truth, felt closer to Nanny Xu who had always been there.

Nanny Xia had not competed with Nanny Xu for anything, and simply remained quietly by her side.

But whenever an opportunity arose, she would tell Xie Yuzhang stories from the Empress’s past. Out there in Mobei, with its unbearable longing for Yunjing, Xie Yuzhang had been willing to listen. Nanny Xia, seizing these moments, had guided both her and Lin Fei in how to conduct themselves.

Lin Fei had revered her deeply.

Looking back, Lin Fei had understood far sooner than she had who truly held her in their heart.

Yet Nanny Xia had passed away even earlier than Nanny Xu. She was considerably older than Nanny Xu to begin with — far from home, worn with care and labor — passing earlier was only natural.

But this time, Xie Yuzhang did not strike out Nanny Xia’s name the way she had Nanny Xu’s.

Nanny Xia would go with her no matter what. Even if she were struck off the list, she would find a way — there was no shortage of people unwilling to go to Mobei whose places she could swap for.

Nanny Xia’s loyalty was, in truth, less to Xie Yuzhang than it was to the late Empress.

When Nanny Xia died, there had been no resentment in her — only regret and worry.

“I have failed in the trust the Empress placed in me…” she had kept saying. “I cannot watch over Your Highness forever. Forever. This old servant… has no face to meet the Empress.”

Given Nanny Xia’s age and constitution, Xie Yuzhang knew that even in this life, it was very likely she would end up buried in foreign soil.

But this time, she would not let her die with regret. She would live well — she would find a better way to survive on the grasslands.

Until the day came when she could return to Yunjing.