As expected, the next day Xie Yuzhang went to visit Xie Baozhu. She did not travel with a princess’s formal procession — she dressed plainly, rode on horseback, and went just like that.

Upon arriving at Prince Shou’s estate, she first went to pay her respects to the Princess Consort of Prince Shou.

The Princess Consort took her hand, her eyes reddening: “In the past I envied you — able to run and leap, healthy and full of life — I only hoped that Da Hu could be like you. Who would have thought… ah…”

Xie Yuzhang said softly, “Everyone has their own fate. I am afraid I may not have another chance to visit you in the future, Elder Sister, so I made a special trip today.”

The Princess Consort pressed her handkerchief to the corners of her eyes. “Go on then — you sisters have a good talk.”

A maidservant led her to the courtyard of Commandery Princess Kangle, Xie Baozhu.

Because Xie Baozhu feared the sun, the courtyard was planted with many trees, their canopies so thick and dense they nearly covered the entire yard. Whenever Xie Yuzhang had visited before, she always found it gloomy and oppressive — it made one feel inexplicably downcast — and so she had never much liked coming here.

Beneath the shade of the trees, a reclining chair had been set out. Commandery Princess Kangle, Xie Baozhu, was leaning back against an oversized cushion, reading a book. Seeing Xie Yuzhang come in, she set down the book and beckoned to her: “Baohua.”

In the dappled, broken light filtering through the tree shade, those brows and eyes did indeed bear a strong resemblance to Xie Yuzhang’s. Yet there was a listlessness about her brow, and her face was exceptionally pale, lacking color — nothing like Xie Yuzhang’s rosy, healthy complexion.

Xie Yuzhang fixed her gaze on her for a breath’s moment, then walked quickly down the steps and sat down beside the reclining chair. “Reading already? The sun isn’t even hot yet — won’t you take a walk?”

“Even if it isn’t hot, the light still strains my eyes.” As Xie Baozhu said this, she too studied Xie Yuzhang carefully. “Yesterday they told me you said you’d come today to see me — I thought you were just saying it offhandedly.”

The two of them were cousins, but their relationship could not truly be called close. The few times Xie Yuzhang had visited the estate in the past, it was always because Xie Baozhu had fallen ill again, and she had come along with the other cousins to pay their respects. For her to come alone like this, just the two of them — that was quite unusual between them.

Xie Yuzhang said, “If I didn’t come to see you now, I don’t know whether I’ll ever have the chance again. So I wanted to come, and so I came.”

Her eyes were dewy, her cheeks tinged with a soft blush, even her lips as tender as flower petals — one look and you could tell she was someone brimming with vitality and health. Because she had practiced dance since childhood, stretching her muscles and bones every single day without slacking, her constitution was truly better than that of any of her sisters, and she had scarcely ever fallen ill at all.

In the past, Xie Baozhu had been envious of Xie Yuzhang’s health. But now, hearing those words, Xie Baozhu only fell silent for a long while. She said nothing. She simply reached out and took Xie Yuzhang’s hand.

Xie Yuzhang clasped her hand in return, and the two cousins sat in silence facing each other.

Xie Yuzhang looked at that hand. Though it was overly pale and very slender, it was well cared for. She looked again at Xie Baozhu’s face — though her vitality was not robust, she was delicately tended.

She was the Commandery Princess of this Prince Shou’s estate. Because her body had been weak since childhood, every single person in this household — from Prince Shou down to the stable hands, from the Princess Consort down to the scullery maids — not one of them would ever dare make things difficult for her. Though she was frail, she lived a life cradled in everyone’s palms.

Later, in Li Gu’s inner palace, her chin had become sharp enough to draw blood, her brow perpetually clouded, utterly devoid of spirit.

The first time Xie Yuzhang went to see her after returning to Yunjing, she had likewise clasped her hand in this same silent way, and said: “It’s good that you’ve come back.”

It’s good that you’ve come back.

It’s good that you’re alive.

Every time Xie Yuzhang saw her, she felt she had grown thinner by yet another fraction.

Li Gu’s consorts and concubines were either from old aristocratic families, or newly prominent relatives of the imperial line, or political allies. Xie Baozhu — a woman of the former dynasty’s royal house — one could well imagine that her days would not be easy.

And she had this temperament: disliking conversation, disliking movement, cool and solitary and proud. Like a flower fallen from its branch, she withered slowly in Li Gu’s inner palace.

Xie Yuzhang’s tears fell upon their clasped hands.

Xie Baozhu raised her eyes and gazed at her for a moment.

“Zhuzhu,” she said softly, “you are very healthy. In my eyes, health is the greatest treasure this world can offer. From the travel journals I’ve read, the Gobi is vast, the grasslands boundless — aside from the sea, those are the most expansive places in the world. I have always dreamed of galloping freely on horseback through such a place. What a pity that this body of mine — even walking too many steps leaves me gasping for breath. Zhuzhu, fish belong in water, eagles belong in the sky. In different places, there are different ways to live. If you find the right way, it may be different from Yunjing, but you will surely be able to live well there, in a manner fitting that place.”

Xie Yuzhang was astonished. In all her two lifetimes combined, she had never imagined she would hear such a long speech from her quietly reticent cousin Xie Baozhu.

Her understanding of her was truly far too shallow. Before, they had simply not been kindred spirits. Afterward, circumstances had not permitted it.

Later, each time she entered the palace to pay her respects to the Empress and then went to visit her, the two sisters would only ask about each other’s health — Xie Baozhu had always been sickly, and Xie Yuzhang, who had returned from the grasslands, had long since lost her own health too.

Sometimes Xie Baozhu would look at her with a thoughtful expression, as though wanting to say something, yet stopping herself, and in the end saying nothing at all — only squeezing her hand. Both their hands were slender, both soft, both without strength.

Xie Yuzhang wiped away her tears and revealed a smile: “You too, Elder Sister — you must take care of yourself.”

“We — both of us — will be well.”

Before Xie Yuzhang left, she went once more to take her leave of the Princess Consort. After she had gone, the Princess Consort summoned the maidservant who attended Xie Baozhu and asked: “What did they talk about?”

The maidservant answered: “The two of them didn’t really speak much. Princess Baohua just sat there and read a few chapters of a travel journal aloud to our Commandery Princess.”

The Princess Consort sighed without end.

Leaving Prince Shou’s estate, the sun had already risen high. Her attendants held out a veiled hat, but Xie Yuzhang pushed it away: “No need.” To the surprised looks of her attendants, she swung herself up onto her horse.

She had lived on the grasslands without such refinements afterward — she had grown accustomed to sunlight. When she had fallen into Jiang Jingye’s hands, her skin had still been honey-golden.

The journey back to Yunjing under escort had taken more than two months, and she had spent the whole time inside a carriage, never seeing the sun. By the time she arrived in Yunjing, she had already faded back to her former pale appearance.

When Li Gu had seen Xie Yuzhang at the city gate, he saw that her fair skin seemed almost to glow.

Was something wrong with his eyes? Why was it that every time he looked at Princess Baohua, he felt as though she were glowing?

He had not yet sorted out his thoughts when his body acted of its own accord — he pressed his heels against the horse’s flanks, urged his mount forward, and called out: “Your Highness Princess Baohua!”

Xie Yuzhang heard the voice and turned her head.

Li Gu felt he had not been mistaken — at the moment Princess Baohua’s eyes fell on him, they truly and unmistakably blazed with a different kind of brilliance. Her eyes were full of delighted surprise.

Li Gu felt something in his heart surge like a strange tide, beyond his control — but he ruthlessly shoved that inexplicable feeling back down.

“Is Your Highness returning to the palace?” He reined in his horse and bowed.

Xie Yuzhang had not expected to run into Li Gu today when she left the palace — wasn’t this heaven delivering him to her doorstep? She smiled, and rather than answering Li Gu’s question, asked instead: “Where is General Shiyi Lang headed?”

Li Gu said, “I have an appointment with Er Lang.”

Xie Yuzhang grew even more delighted: “A’Shen? My Elder Brother A’Shen?”

Li Gu said, “The very same.”

Xie Yuzhang asked, “Do General Shiyi Lang and Elder Brother A’Shen have serious matters to discuss? Who else will be there?”

Li Gu had a premonition of what was coming. He said, “It’s only an informal meal with Jingshan. No one else.”

Xie Yuzhang had been hoping for exactly this. She gripped her reins, her obsidian-dark eyes sparkling brilliantly in the sunlight, and asked with a smile: “Then would General Shiyi Lang mind if Baohua came along to join the fun?”

Li Gu forcibly suppressed his quickening heartbeat and said: “Your Highness need only call this subject Shiyi Lang.”

Shiyi Lang.

The name rolled around on Xie Yuzhang’s tongue for a moment — and she felt a brief flicker of hesitance.

She had seen firsthand how awe-inspiring this young man’s authority would later become. The founding emperor of a dynasty need not be the most brilliant or the most martial, but he must be the most formidable. To call such a person “Shiyi Lang” — Xie Yuzhang did not quite dare.

And yet…

Xie Yuzhang looked over the Li Gu before her.

His brows and eyes were stern, his gaze sharp and penetrating — but he was still young. Truly still young. In her presence, his face still carried a certain tension; he had not yet achieved that effortless command of himself. Nothing like later, when a single sweeping glance from his eyes would make everyone around him afraid to lift their heads.

Xie Yuzhang pressed her lips into a smile, called out “Shiyi Lang,” and said, “I’m quite hungry. Where shall we eat?”

Li Gu felt his heartbeat was just barely still within his control. Terrified of losing composure in Xie Yuzhang’s presence, he answered stiffly: “The Hechun Tower in the East Market.”

“Then let’s go.” Xie Yuzhang flicked her reins, turned her horse, and rode off in the direction of the East Market.

Li Gu hesitated for a beat, then brought his horse forward and rode alongside her, side by side.

“I went to visit Commandery Princess Kangle at Prince Shou’s estate today,” Xie Yuzhang said to him suddenly. “She is my cousin.”

Is she making a special trip to visit her before the wedding? Li Gu said: “Your Highness and the Commandery Princess must be very close.”

Xie Yuzhang neither confirmed nor denied this. She said: “Elder Sister Kangle’s health is poor — a weakness she was born with. Once I’ve gone to Mobei, I may never see her again. Just thinking of it makes me sad.”

Li Gu offered comfort: “The Commandery Princess is also of imperial blood. I’m sure her future will be smooth and peaceful.”

“I hope so too. Among all our sisters, Elder Sister Kangle and I resemble each other the most,” Xie Yuzhang said. “Elder Sister Kangle has long been of marriageable age, but because of her health, no match has ever been made. I certainly won’t be here to see her wed. Whoever her future husband may be, I only hope he will be understanding of her frail constitution, and treat her kindly. I don’t want her to suffer or be mistreated.”

As Xie Yuzhang said this, she kept her head turned to watch Li Gu, and at the end she added one more line: “Shiyi Lang, do you think Elder Sister Kangle will be able to live well in the future?”

Li Gu felt a vague sense of strangeness. What was the meaning of asking him about a Commandery Princess’s married life? Besides, he had never in his life spoken with anyone about how a young woman might live after marriage — he could only force himself to say stiffly: “The Commandery Princess will surely be safe, peaceful, and her days happy and full.”

Xie Yuzhang said: “Then — I’ll take that as a blessing from Shiyi Lang. You must remember what you’ve said, you know.” She gave her riding crop a flick, urging her horse forward.

Li Gu was completely baffled.

Yang Huaishen had not expected Xie Yuzhang to arrive together with Li Gu, and was taken aback. He asked, a little anxious: “How did the two of you come here together?”

Taken at face value, those words seemed innocent enough.

Yet Li Gu felt that Yang Huaishen’s words had some other meaning behind them — and what was even stranger was that, for no reason he could identify, he suddenly felt ill at ease.

Xie Yuzhang answered with a cheerful smile: “I was visiting Elder Sister Kangle, and I ran into Shiyi Lang at the city gate. When he mentioned he had an appointment to eat with you here, it happened that I was hungry too, so I shamelessly followed along. Second Elder Brother, do you not welcome me?”

Yang Huaishen rubbed his nose and teased in an affected tone: “How would a lowly person like me dare?”

Xie Yuzhang scolded him playfully, and the three of them sat down at the table.

During the meal, Xie Yuzhang asked: “So what did you two plan to talk about today?”

Yang Huaishen said: “Just a couple of drinks and some idle chatting.”

Xie Yuzhang clapped her hands: “Perfect — because I have things I’d like to ask Shiyi Lang about.”

Yang Huaishen noticed she had gone from “General Li” to “General Shiyi Lang,” and now, incredibly, to just “Shiyi Lang,” and couldn’t help glancing over at Li Gu. But he couldn’t read anything from Li Gu’s face — this one was just a blank mask, habitually expressionless.

Xie Yuzhang picked out topics about the north and put them to Li Gu. Li Gu answered them one by one.

He and Yang Huaishen naturally had no idea that Xie Yuzhang was merely taking the opportunity to draw closer to him; both men simply felt that she knew a remarkable amount about the northern lands, and it was plain she had been doing her homework in the palace these past days.

Both men lowered their eyes. One to conceal sorrow, the other to conceal feelings too tangled to name.

Xie Yuzhang then humbly asked for guidance: “I have five hundred guards — how do I keep them from growing lax and maintain their fighting strength?”

She had been thinking about this for many days. In her past life she had understood how to manage palace attendants, but when it came to managing soldiers she had absolutely no experience, and at the start she had not taken it seriously enough.

Back then, she had had only two hundred guards. And those two hundred guards were entirely in Ma Jianye’s hands.

As for the man Ma Jianye — he had originally been implicated when someone reported him for privately breaking into the stored siege equipment, selling off the timber and iron fittings. He was due to be punished for it. He had scattered all his wealth trying to buy his way out of the charges, and it just so happened that Xie Yuzhang was being sent to Mobei for a peace marriage at that time, and someone was needed to lead the princess’s guard detail.

No one wanted to go out to the frontier. A superior looked around, and picked out this man Ma Jianye who ought to have been serving out his punishment.

How convenient.

Ma Jianye was of course unwilling, but he had no other option, and so he went with Xie Yuzhang to the frontier.

He had not expected that upon arriving, he would find himself supreme within the guard detail, with the princess not involving herself in matters — it was, unexpectedly, a world of its own.

He also took advantage of Xie Yuzhang’s youth, while his own affairs were already difficult enough to manage, and grew increasingly arrogant, gradually refusing to follow orders. When the news reached them that Da Zhao had fallen, he refused to acknowledge Xie Yuzhang as his mistress any longer, and took his own inner circle and defected to someone else.

Xie Yuzhang was left with only Wang Shitou and a few dozen men.

Later, she was sent to Jiang Jingye’s encampment.

Jiang Jingye was one of Li Gu’s most trusted and capable commanders — fierce in battle. Equally as famous as his reputation for valor was his reputation for lechery.

Before she had even seen Jiang Jingye, Xie Yuzhang had been filled with dread of the unknown future. She felt as though she were in a deep abyss, falling and falling and falling, not knowing when she would hit the bottom and shatter to pieces.

By that time, she had already harbored thoughts of seeking death. Lin Fei had talked her out of it.

The two of them were clinging to each other, weeping, when they heard Wang Shitou’s shouting.

Wang Shitou died afterward.

Jiang Jingye came to see her — the way he looked at her was scorchingly hot, very frightening. But he only looked at her for a while, seeming somewhat regretful, yet in the end he turned and walked away — without laying a hand on her.

Later still, Jiang Jingye dispatched a troop of men to escort her and Lin Fei back to Yunjing.

Xie Yuzhang had sincerely wanted to ask Li Gu — this emperor who had come from a military background — how to manage a guard detail. But unexpectedly, this had stirred those memories, and she found herself suddenly in a daze.

Before, she had not known, and had not thought much of it. But now, with the threads and signs of both her past and present lives laid out before her, she couldn’t help but think on them.

Da Zhao had already fallen. She was no longer a princess — only a woman who had been presented to Jiang Jingye. This man’s reputation was well-known; he was said to love women above all else. So why had he not touched her? Why had he instead sent her back to Yunjing?

Xie Yuzhang raised her eyes, her dark, fathomless gaze fixing silently on Li Gu.

Was it you?

Was it because of you that I was finally able to return to Yunjing?