In his embrace, she was like warm jade and sweet perfume. Though their contact was strictly proper, just having her rest against him made him feel his life was complete.
Speaking of propriety, it was greatly improper, and Qingyuan didn’t know how she had found such courage. Perhaps it was because it was him – the one who had once offered his chest for her to lean on when she was most wronged. The man others saw as rotten to the bone was, to her, the only warmth in this cold world.
His heart thundered, and she heard it. Though Commander Shen’s face remained unperturbed, surely tremendous waves were crashing in his heart! She leaned against the crook of his neck. In the darkness, neither could see the other, only feeling waves of heat rolling up. The room had become like a great cauldron, steaming its occupants until their minds grew numb and their limbs began to melt.
He lowered his head, his cheek lightly touching her forehead, one hand resting on her shoulder before moving down to find her hand, interlocking their fingers tightly. By now he could be certain – she had feelings for him too, but she was too honor-bound, too proud, her defenses raised too high to let anyone close. She didn’t know that at fifteen or sixteen, a young lady had every right to change her mind. That day, if she had just said she didn’t want to marry Li Congxin, if she had asked him to think of a way, that very night he would have prepared a wild goose message and gone to the Xie family to propose. But she wouldn’t say it. She thought marriage was just like that – even if she didn’t like Li Congxin, she had to fulfill her promise.
But why must it be so? She didn’t understand that not all married couples were like the unhappy pairs she had seen. Some lived their entire lives in sweet harmony – and in time, he would naturally let her know this.
He had once heard his father say that a wife was like a mirror, reflecting different kinds of light. If you truly love her, she will shine brilliantly; if you demean her, she becomes clouded, and no amount of polishing will restore her brightness. He had seen noble ladies in their thirties with faces full of worry, and he had seen peasant women in simple pins and clothes who were radiant and gentle. He thought then that no matter what storms came, he would keep his wife safe and secure. This thought had only grown stronger since meeting Qingyuan.
Fierce-looking but deeply devoted – only Shen Che and the Emperor knew his true nature, and they both independently thought he must have taken the wrong medicine. But let him be mad – when he held her in his arms, he could care about nothing else.
Qingyuan gently shook his hand. “We’ve known each other for a long time, haven’t we?”
He made a sound of agreement. Outside, the rain poured violently. In the sound of rain, he closed his eyes. “Perhaps we knew each other in our previous life.”
“Let’s not talk about past lives, only this one. Since we’ve known each other so long, what can’t we say directly?” Her voice was like honey, wrapping tightly around him. “There’s a good phrase – ‘too much is as bad as too little.’ What do you think?”
He understood in his heart that given her string of strange actions today, she must have learned about the situation.
Someone from Shen Che’s quarters had sought her out – what more needed to be said? With Fangchun’s fish brain, she had probably revealed everything after just a few words. Yet they both held firm as if whoever spoke first would lose. A low laugh vibrated in his throat. “Does the young lady have something she wishes to tell me?”
Qingyuan was somewhat annoyed but managed to keep her patience. “I want to hear you speak. You can say anything.” She shook him again. “Speak!”
He pondered for a moment, then mumbled as if tipsy, “You smell nice, and your waist is soft.”
This was blatant flirtation. Qingyuan was so angry she gritted her teeth, but she couldn’t hit him, so she could only continue coaxing: “Don’t focus on me, say something else. Anything else?”
He thought again. “The Emperor has issued an edict commanding me to deploy the Imperial Guards stationed in Jiannandao. This battle can only be won, not lost. If we can’t take it, I’ll have to go personally.”
Qingyuan was startled. “You’ll go yourself?”
He said yes, the hand embracing her shoulders slowly sliding down in an enchanting path as he continued languidly: “I spent ten years in military camps, participated in battles both large and small, and am familiar with Tubo military tactics.”
Qingyuan was lost in thought. The battle was a matter of life and death. She had previously thought warfare was far removed from her, but after encountering that group of bandits on the way back from Bihen Temple, and watching that servant die before her eyes, she understood how terrifying it could be.
“On the battlefield, swords and spears show no mercy…” she stammered. “Aren’t you in charge of the Palace Command? Why must you also fight?”
“The Imperial Guards under the Palace Command don’t just handle imperial ceremonies and security – in critical moments, we must also go to battle.” He smiled. “Did you think we were all just for show, wearing beautiful official robes and armor just to look good?”
Qingyuan had been led astray by him. When she came to her senses, she discovered her entire body was covered by Shen Run’s hands, and she pushed him away with a red face.
Her mind was a bit muddled. His upcoming campaign made her anxious, but more infuriating was his craftiness – even seduction wouldn’t work. Deflated, she stood up and said, “Do you have nothing else to tell me?”
Lightning flashed outside. He propped up his head, looking content, pretending to think before still saying no.
Qingyuan nodded. “Then let’s pretend I was never here.”
He made a sound. “Leaving? Since you’re already here, why not stay the night?”
Qingyuan angrily said impossible. “In the future, the Commander will have his beauty for company. I won’t join in this fun.” With that, she followed the light on the door and stepped over the threshold.
The day’s sultriness had dissipated with the heavy rain, and the air that hit her face was fresh and cool. Qingyuan stood under the corridor for a moment, watching the rain pattering on banana leaves. Though she hadn’t managed to trick out his confession, her heart was at peace.
Tomorrow’s good news must be that her grandparents from the Chen family had entered Youzhou. The Xie family now ignored her completely, so she could finally reunite properly with her grandparents without worrying about the Xie family falsely accusing her grandfather of abduction. As for Shen Run, it didn’t matter if he wouldn’t admit it now – there would be time to settle accounts with him slowly in the future.
But this manor was still Shen Run’s domain, and only Fangchun could help her. The next day, she waited until the Chen hour to go to the Western Garden. Fangchun had just risen and only washed half her face. Seeing her arrival was quite unexpected, she teased meaningfully: “Ah, youth indeed – such a strong constitution. Coming to my place so early in the morning, why not sleep a bit more? Has Big Brother gone to the capital again?” While bantering, she brushed her teeth, speaking unclearly, “I used to think Big Brother was steady, but I was wrong. Look at him rushing between two places, just like our Second Master back then… Sister-in-law, what brings your esteemed presence here?”
The serving maids just smiled, and Qingyuan was greatly embarrassed. “Sister, please stop teasing me. Such talk is fine in private, but don’t let others hear. I’ve come because I need your help with something.”
Fangchun turned to look at her. “What is it? As long as you’re not asking me to prepare carriages for you to leave the manor, everything is negotiable.”
Qingyuan smiled. “You worry too much. I just want to borrow two people from you to gather information outside. My grandparents should be entering Youzhou today. They were in Hengtang before, and I’m worried. Even though the Commander has made arrangements, I’m still concerned the elderly won’t be comfortable. They’ve traveled thousands of li, all for my sake. I want to get news early so I can go welcome them.”
Fangchun hesitated somewhat. “Why not ask the Commander?”
Qingyuan gave her a slow smile. “Have you forgotten? You were the one who revealed this to me. How can I ask the Commander? Wouldn’t that be telling him you leaked the secret?”
Caught by her pigtail, Fangchun cried out in dismay. With no choice, she agreed to secretly dispatch two young men to wait outside the gate and report immediately to the second gate if there was any news.
Qingyuan couldn’t sit still. After forcing down two cups of tea, she rose to wait for news under the corridor. After the rain, the air already had hints of coolness. Youzhou’s climate was always a step ahead of Hengtang – at this time in Hengtang, it would still be blazing hot after heavy rain.
Anxious, she couldn’t help pacing back and forth. Fangchun grew dizzy watching her and propped up her chin. “Why not sit for a while? When people arrive, you think they won’t come report?” Compared to welcoming the Chen elders, she was more curious about how Qingyuan had spent these two nights in the Eastern Garden, and shamelessly probed, “How were things between you and Big Brother?”
Qingyuan understood what she wanted to know – all the night watchmen in the garden had been sent away, how could that not spark speculation? She said awkwardly, “The Commander is a man of propriety and principle, very courteous to me.” Yet thinking of their back-and-forth these two nights, she felt guilty and sullenly blushed.
Fangchun scrutinized her. The more she stared, the redder Qingyuan’s face grew. She immediately covered her mouth and laughed. “I’m an experienced person, you can’t fool me!”
Qingyuan couldn’t defend herself. “Everything I said is true…”
“I know, I know… A single man and woman living in the same garden, a young lady in her prime, Big Brother in his prime…”
They both started at this, and Fangchun hurriedly covered her mouth. “What a sin! I’ve always respected Big Brother, how did I end up teasing him!”
Qingyuan sighed with a bitter smile. “I can’t blame you. A proper young lady, inexplicably sent into someone else’s manor – forget living in the same garden, just spending a night in the Shen manor means I can never hold my head up again. For my flesh and blood to scheme against me like this is truly heartbreaking. Our Old Madam intended to send me to be the Commander’s concubine… They didn’t care about face at all. I called her Grandmother for so many years in vain.”
Fangchun could only comfort her. “Don’t think too much about it. The Xie family won’t speak of this outside, and our manor certainly won’t spread it around. The day you entered the manor, orders came from the Eastern Garden for everyone to keep their mouths shut. What kind of person is our master? If he couldn’t even control the servants in his manor, he wouldn’t deserve his important position at court.”
Just as she finished speaking, they saw an old woman hurriedly coming along the covered corridor. She stopped outside the threshold and curtsied. “Reporting to Second Madam, this servant overheard at the gate that the people who went to Hengtang have returned. The carriage entered the East Peace Gate, but the people they were meant to pick up didn’t come to the manor – they went to Qin’an Street instead.”
Fangchun was puzzled. “What are they doing on Qin’an Street? Does the Chen family have property in Youzhou?”
Qingyuan shook her head. “I’ve never heard of this…” She paused and asked the old woman, “Can you find out which household they entered?”
The old woman looked troubled. “That I don’t know. But if the young lady would wait, I can go tell the men outside to investigate further, and they’ll report back as soon as they know.”
Qingyuan said good, watched her hurry away, thought for a moment, then turned to Fangchun and said, “I need to find a way to go out. The Commander has gone to the Lulong military camp. I can slip out quietly and come back quietly, what do you think?”
Fangchun shook her head vigorously. “Don’t even think about it! All the manor gates have received orders – who would dare let you out? Besides, I don’t have that courage. If Big Brother found out, even Shen Che couldn’t save me – you’re the apple of his eye now!”
Qingyuan knew that trying to leave was wishful thinking, so she had to contain herself and wait for clear news first. Near noon, the Eastern Garden’s housekeeper came over, curtsied with a smile, and said, “Young lady, the master has returned and wants to dine with you. Please return quickly.”
Fangchun stuck out her tongue at Qingyuan. An old house on fire was truly something – now Commander Shen couldn’t bear to be apart from his beloved for even a moment. Before, everyone feared him for his ruthlessness, but who knew that beneath that cold exterior lay a heart crying out for nurture? If his sworn enemies outside knew how clingy he was at home, they’d probably laugh until their intestines split!
Fangchun gave her a suggestive look. “Better hurry back, or he might come to fetch you himself, wasting the trip.”
Qingyuan had no choice. She insisted, “If you find out which household it is, make sure to send someone to tell me,” while stepping down from the corridor and heading to the Eastern Garden.
A maid led the way, bringing her to the flower hall. Upon entering, she saw him standing by the fish tank in his brocade clothes, scattering fish food.
“Been keeping Fangchun company again?” he asked with a smile.
A beam of sunlight from outside shone on the water’s surface. As the goldfish swam, the rippling reflections danced in his eyes. With that gentle light, his eyes held a beauty of perfect tranquility.
Qingyuan made a sound of agreement. “I had nothing else to do.”
In daylight, she maintained a proper appearance, quite different from her boldness last night. But he loved both versions of her – only such a girl could be truly lovable, a mistress’s face in public, but soft as a rice ball in private, letting him knead and shape her, giving him whatever he desired.
However well-laid his plans might be, she had her ideas. Qingyuan said, “About that good news you mentioned yesterday – can you tell me now?”
She should have already guessed, but it was a few days earlier than expected – surely it would delight her. He smugly tucked his hands into his sleeves and said, “Guess who I’ve brought to Youzhou?”
Qingyuan looked at him, suddenly realizing how childish he could be. To save him some face, she pretended to ponder. “I can’t guess. Who is it?”
“It’s the Chen elders who raised you.” He laughed heartily. “They’ve already arrived in Youzhou. I originally planned to bring them to the manor to meet you first, then arrange another residence for them, but they’ve already made their arrangements.”
Indeed, only such thoughtful people could raise such a well-rounded young lady. The Chen family wasn’t ordinary before – though grandfather’s official career was modest, their ancestors were major merchants with extensive connections. The elders’ unwillingness to rely on others was admirable. Letting Qingyuan return to the Chen family for marriage wouldn’t diminish her.
So he watched her eagerly, waiting for her praise. After a long wait, Qingyuan gave a slight smile and said, “I must thank the Commander for this.”
Shen Run hesitated. Last night when trying to get information from him, she had called him “brother” so enthusiastically. Now that her family was here, she addressed him as Commander – was she drawing a line?
He had an ominous premonition. “Young lady, are you not happy?”
Qingyuan said she was happy, her curved eyes indeed showing joy. She gripped her fan’s ivory handle tightly, so tightly her hand trembled slightly, and looked up to ask him, “Can I go see them now?”
Shen Run said, “They’ve just arrived and need to settle in. Let’s eat first, and after eating I’ll take you…”
But before he could finish, Matron Zhou entered the garden and stood under the eaves to report: “Master, the Chen elders have arrived and requested to see the master and Fourth Young Lady.”
Qingyuan’s heart nearly jumped out of her throat. Just as she was thinking of them, they had come.
So without waiting for Shen Run’s permission, she lifted her skirts and ran out. Running to the front courtyard, she saw her elderly grandparents looking travel-worn in the distance. As soon as she entered the door, she knelt and burst into loud sobs: “Your unfilial granddaughter has caused you, at such an advanced age, to suffer the hardships of travel. Ten thousand deaths could not atone for my sin.”
Watching from the side, Shen Run sighed deeply. This was how family reunions should be, not like Old Madam Xie’s perfunctory hand-holding and face-touching.
Old Madam Chen and Qingyuan embraced and wept together. Old Master Chen stood to the side watching, tears welling in his eyes, but being in another’s manor, he couldn’t lose composure. He bowed to Shen Run, “Commander Shen, we are deeply grateful for your care of our family’s young lady. Previously in Hengtang, we were too far to help, but now that we’re here, we shouldn’t impose on the Commander further. We’ll take our young lady home now.”
Shen Run was slightly stunned, finding the situation developing very differently from what he had imagined. But because of Qingyuan, he had grown to respect the Chen elders even more. He bowed deeply and said, “I have quite a friendship with the young lady. When she encountered difficulty, it was only right that I help with all my power. Master Chen need not stand on ceremony. However…” He glanced at Qingyuan. “However, the young lady and I…”
Old Madam Chen wiped her tears and curtsied to Shen Run, then smiled and said, “Many thanks to the Commander for thinking so thoroughly and bringing us to Youzhou. On our journey, we heard some rumors that the Commander was to be betrothed to the Magistrate Mu’s daughter. Congratulations to the Commander.”
If he didn’t clarify now, the consequences would be serious. Shen Run hurriedly returned the courtesy and said solemnly, “Those are just street rumors. I have little contact with Magistrate Mu’s family, let alone talk of betrothal.”
Hearing this, Old Madam Chen drew out a long “Oh.” “So it was a misunderstanding. In that case, we Chens were once a good family in Hengtang, and a good family’s daughter should follow a good family’s rules. We’ll take her home first. If the Commander has any intentions, please proceed according to proper etiquette. From today on, our young lady returns to being a maiden in her boudoir. If the Commander wishes to propose, not one of the three letters and six rites can be omitted or treated casually. When your sincerity is shown, our young lady will still need to consider it. If she agrees, we can then choose an auspicious date, and the Commander can come to receive her. How does that sound?”
Shen Run wiped his forehead, which had broken out in sweat. He suddenly realized that dealing with such a proper family was far more difficult than dealing with the Xie family. But he dared not show anger or protest, and bowed his head saying, “I hear and obey the Old Madam’s teachings.” He then looked at Qingyuan, who showed him nothing but contempt. He gave an embarrassed smile and awkwardly asked, “Young lady, do you like cats? My Protocol Officer’s home just had a litter of kittens. In a few days, I can take you to choose one, how about that?”