People are always sensitive to gazes directed at them. Besides Fujita Kiyono openly looking her way, He Feng would also glance at her from time to time.

He Feng didn’t like her current hairstyle. It was permed into gentle curls, slightly parted in the middle at the front, and pinned up in a flower-like bun at the back of her head—fairly fashionable. It looked good, but he just couldn’t get used to it, especially when she wore heavy makeup, looking overly glamorous. He preferred how she used to look with her long hair simply secured with a wooden hairpin or cloth band, fresh and natural.

While they were eating, everything suddenly went dark—a power outage.

Fujita Michi cried out in alarm, “What happened?”

“The power’s out. Don’t move, I’ll go find candles.” Xie Chi calmly stood up and went to the drawer to retrieve several candles, inserting them into candlesticks.

Seeing that she hadn’t returned for a while, Fujita Kiyono asked, “Can’t find them? Do you need help?”

“No need.”

By the faint moonlight from outside, He Feng could see her holding a candlestick in one hand while rummaging through the drawer with the other—she probably couldn’t find matches.

While searching through boxes and cabinets, Xie Chi asked, “Do any of you have matches or a lighter?”

Fujita Kiyono looked toward He Feng. “You brought one, right?”

“Of course.” He smiled as he pulled a lighter from his pocket, clicking it to produce a flame, and stood up to walk toward her.

As soon as Xie Chi turned around, she saw He Feng standing before her holding a lighter. His broad back completely blocked the view from the two people at the dining table. His eyes were deep and gentle, gazing down at her with undisguised affection, boldly expressing his deeply hidden love. He raised his hand, steadying the candlestick with one hand while lighting the candle with the other.

She finally understood why so many people enjoyed affairs.

Xie Chi moved her fingers, touching the palm of his hand that was covering hers. The tension, madness, and brevity combined into an indescribable sense of forbidden pleasure, even more thrilling than their private moments of passionate intimacy.

Her heart beat uncontrollably, yet she had to calmly say “thank you.”

Five candles were lit in succession, gradually brightening the room.

He Feng released her and walked back to sit down as if nothing had happened, casually cursing, “Those idiots at the power plant.”

Xie Chi followed behind him. Fujita Kiyono took the candlestick and carefully placed it at the edge of the table. “I’ll call to ask what happened.”

Xie Chi said, “Don’t bother. This happens often. It’ll be back on in a while.”

Fujita Michi said, “This is actually quite romantic—a candlelit dinner.”

He Feng took out his cigarette pack, tapped out a cigarette and put it in his mouth, leaning his face close to the candlestick to light it with the candle flame.

Xie Chi watched his sharply defined face in the flickering light, his eyes downcast, his eyelashes casting long shadows that trembled gently on his face in the candlelight. She didn’t dare look any longer, afraid her emotions would show and be discovered by others.

He Feng straightened up, slowly exhaling smoke, and moved to stand by the window.

Fujita Michi also put down her chopsticks and rubbed her stomach. “I’m full! Sister’s cooking is so delicious. When she marries into our family in the future, I’ll be so lucky!”

Fujita Kiyono smiled. “You might get married first.”

“Then brother better hurry up.”

…

Xie Chi gathered the dishes and went to the kitchen. Fujita Kiyono followed to help, the two maintaining polite courtesy, even saying “thank you” when passing a cloth.

Fujita Michi lay on the sofa resting, playing with a wooden puzzle lock.

Suddenly two gunshots rang out from downstairs. Fujita Michi jumped in fright, nearly dropping the puzzle lock on her face.

Fujita Kiyono hurried out and stood beside He Feng, looking outside. He heard He Feng say calmly, “They ran away. Special Agent Squadron people—probably chasing anti-Japanese elements.”

Fujita Michi came over and pulled both of them away. “Don’t stand by the window, it’s dangerous.” She closed the window and pushed both men into the living room. “Kiyono-nii, quickly call for someone to come protect us.”

He Feng sat on the sofa and casually picked up an orange, playing with it in his hands.

Xie Chi came out of the kitchen. “Michi is right. Not only are underground Party activities rampant in all areas, but the Green Gang is also restless. You all should be careful when going out from now on.”

As soon as she finished speaking, gunshots rang out again in the distance. Xie Chi handed Fujita Kiyono a cloth to wipe his hands. “Go make a phone call. At least have Yamashita come pick you up.”

“Alright.”

Fujita Kiyono made a brief phone call. While waiting for Yamashita to arrive, the four of them sat awkwardly in the living room with nothing to say.

Xie Chi asked, “Would you like some fruit?”

“No.” Fujita Michi drew out the syllable. “If I eat any more, my stomach will burst.” She lay down on He Feng’s lap and asked boredly, “Wanzhi-nee, what do you usually do?”

“Make clothes, occasionally read books, paint a little.”

“You can paint?”

Fujita Kiyono said, “Wanzhi is a master of Chinese painting.”

Xie Chi said, “I’m not a master, just a third-rate painter.”

Fujita Michi looked at a painting on the wall. “Did you paint that one?”

Xie Chi followed her gaze. “A friend of mine painted that.”

Fujita Michi turned to lie on her side, pillowing her head on He Feng’s leg while facing Xie Chi, asking with a smile, “A male friend or female friend?”

“Male, like a brother to me.”

“You two have a good relationship?”

“Yes.”

Fujita Michi glanced at Fujita Kiyono. “Brother’s going to be jealous.”

“Michi, don’t talk nonsense.”

He Feng lifted his leg slightly, nearly causing Fujita Michi to fall. She scooted inward and hugged his knee, continuing to ask, “Is he also in Shanghai?”

“He’s dead.”

“Dead? How did he die?”

“He died in Nanjing.”

He Feng said casually, “Probably killed by our people.”

Fujita Kiyono didn’t want to discuss what happened in Nanjing. “Let’s not talk about this.”

“What’s there not to talk about?” He Feng curled a strand of Fujita Michi’s hair and lifted it gently. “Michi doesn’t know yet what our army did in Nanjing.”

Fujita Michi lay flat, looking up at He Feng’s chin. “What did they do?”

“Ryuji.” Fujita Kiyono frowned.

“Burning, killing, raping, pillaging—rivers of blood. From elderly people over a hundred to unformed babies.”

“Unformed babies?”

“Bayonets slice open pregnant women’s bellies, thrust inside, and out comes the baby.”

Fujita Michi stared blankly for two seconds, swallowing hard. “Ugh, how terrifying.”

Fujita Kiyono felt like he was sitting on pins and needles, his hands gripping the chair edge as he said in a heavy voice, “Ryuji, stop talking.”

He Feng continued ignoring him, staring into Fujita Michi’s eyes with a smile. “Pretty girls like you have it even worse—not only gang-raped but also tortured to death, with bottles and clubs shoved into their private parts.”

“Ryuji!” Fujita Kiyono stood up.

Seeing Fujita Michi’s shocked and dazed expression, He Feng spread his right arm across the back of the sofa. “I’ll stop now.”

“This is the first time I’ve heard of such things. How could our soldiers do this? Is it true?”

“Ask your brother—he went to Nanjing.” He Feng picked up the wooden puzzle nearby and played with it casually. “He should know very well.”

“Is it true?” Michi looked at her brother.

Fujita Kiyono hung his head. These were uncover-able, heinous crimes—Japan’s shame. Facing his innocent sister, he didn’t know how to answer.

Xie Chi remained silent throughout. Those events shouldn’t be described as memories—the blood and tears had long since fused into her bones, never to be forgotten.

A car stopped downstairs.

Fujita Kiyono grasped at this lifeline, quickly going to the window to look. “Yamashita’s here. It’s getting late—we should go.”

He Feng easily dismantled the wooden puzzle and tossed it aside, helping Fujita Michi up. She naturally hugged his arm. “I’m so scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“The things you described.”

He Feng sneered. “Want me to find some photos to show you?”

“No!” Fujita Michi clung to his side like a delicate bird. “I don’t want to see them.”

He Feng pushed her head away and said to Xie Chi, “Thank you for the hospitality. Goodbye.”

“Take care.”

Fujita Kiyono walked to the door and suddenly said to both of them, “You two go downstairs first. I’ll be down after saying a few words.”

He Feng walked away with his hands in his pockets. “Hurry up.”

After they went downstairs, Fujita Kiyono said to Xie Chi, “I’m sorry for making you think of unhappy things.”

“It’s all in the past.”

Fujita Kiyono looked guilty. “Do you really not mind anymore?”

“I do mind.”

He lowered his face.

“But you’re different.” Xie Chi pulled at his sleeve. “Don’t think about it anymore. Since I’m with you, I’ve already let go of the past. You acting like this actually makes me unhappy.”

Fujita Kiyono quickly raised his face and smiled stiffly. “Alright, I won’t think about it.”

The room suddenly brightened—the power was back on.

Xie Chi smiled brightly. “I’m so tired, I want to rest.”

“You’ve worked hard today.” Fujita Kiyono took her hand and looked at her palm. “Don’t cook so much yourself from now on—it makes me worry.”

“I understand.” She gently pushed him toward the door. “Don’t keep them waiting. We have plenty of time—we can talk slowly.”

“Then I’m leaving.”

“Mm.”

Fujita Kiyono walked out two steps then turned back, asking nervously, “May I hug you?”

“Yes.”

Fujita Kiyono gently embraced her. “I will be good to you forever.”

Xie Chi placed her hands on his waist and said tenderly, “Alright, go back now.”

Fujita Kiyono released her and smiled shyly. “Rest early.”

“Alright.”

Fujita Kiyono kept looking back every few steps, smiling at her reluctantly. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

After he went downstairs, Xie Chi slowly closed the door.

She looked at the blue door curtain in front of her and roughly tore at her clothes. Because she used too much force, two buttons fell to the floor and rolled to the wall.

She gritted her teeth, balled up the clothes and threw them in the trash, then went into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and scrubbed her hands vigorously. It was as if she had returned to those living-hell nights, when her hands always had red stains that couldn’t be washed away. Red, red, red, red…

…

He Feng couldn’t stay in Shanghai long—he couldn’t abandon his real work in Nanjing for momentary personal desires.

In the evening, Xie Chi went to a contact point to pass along intelligence about supplies, returning home very late. It was pouring rain today with few people on the streets. She wore all black with a black hat, moving quickly through the alleyways. As she walked, car headlights suddenly turned on in front of her, so bright she had to shield her eyes.

In just an instant, darkness returned.

Xie Chi focused her gaze and recognized He Feng even from just the unclear silhouette.

She turned left and continued walking, with He Feng following in his car.

When they reached a more secluded area, Xie Chi stopped.

The car stopped behind her.

She pressed her hat brim and turned around, walking to the passenger side. She folded her umbrella and got in. “What are you following me for?”

“I missed you.”

“Are you afraid our affair won’t be discovered?”

“How can you call it an affair?” He Feng exhaled smoke. “It’s called love.”

Xie Chi smiled helplessly—he could always make her happy with just a few words. She grabbed his hand, and He Feng gripped hers back, their fingers interlacing as they silently watched the rain.

Suddenly, He Feng started the car. “I’ll drive you back.”

“Mm.”

“I’m returning to Nanjing tomorrow morning.”

“Alright.”

“Don’t have more to say?”

“It’s not safe for us to be together. It’s better if we stay apart.”

He Feng was quiet for a moment, then smiled and sighed. “With your personality, how did you make that little devil so devoted to you? Men all like women who are gentle, obedient, virtuous, and know how to please.”

“Then why are you so deeply in love with me?”

“I’m different.”

Xie Chi turned to face him. “Why did you like me back then?”

“I forgot.”

“Really forgot or pretending to forget?”

He Feng curved his mouth but didn’t answer.

Just as Xie Chi was turning back, she heard him say, “From childhood to adulthood, no one dared hit me.”

She was stunned for a few seconds, then laughed. “You still remember that slap.”

“That slap caught my attention. When I started liking you, I’m really not sure—maybe when we were catching fish, maybe when we were fighting the bear.” He Feng glanced at her. “What about you?”

“Probably when they were about to burn me to death.”

He Feng gripped her hand tightly. “I made you suffer a lot.”

“After bitterness comes… sweetness is almost here.” Xie Chi looked at the torrential rain outside. “Do you think we’ll live to see peaceful and prosperous times?”

“Yes.”

He Feng drove with one hand the whole time, slowly reaching the area near her residence. “I won’t take you all the way there.”

Xie Chi picked up her umbrella. “Want to come up and sit for a while?”

“What kind of sitting?”

Xie Chi laughed along with him. “Any kind.”

He Feng released her hand. “I won’t go up.”

“Then I’m leaving.”

“Go ahead.”

Xie Chi opened the car door and left with her umbrella. After walking just a short distance, she heard footsteps behind her. She happily turned back and raised her umbrella high to let He Feng come under it. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why did you follow me?”

“To look at you once more.”

Xie Chi hugged his waist. “Why don’t we elope?”

He Feng rubbed her head. “Sure.”

Xie Chi looked up at him. “Really?”

“Really.”

Faced with his determined gaze, Xie Chi actually began to have doubts.

He Feng pinched her nose. “Think it through before making decisions. Do you really want to be a deserter? Don’t come with me halfway then want to run back.”

Xie Chi buried her face in his chest again. “I’m afraid of dying. I’ve already done enough for the country, and so have you.” She tried to convince herself. “I’m so tired. It wouldn’t be wrong to be selfish once, would it?”

“You always say you’re afraid of dying, but if you were really afraid of death, you would have left the mountain stronghold back then instead of staying in the bandit den, risking danger and waiting for a chance to get revenge on the Song family.”

Xie Chi thought of Song Mang—even after so many years, his face was still vivid in her memory, along with Song Qingtao.

She sighed. “I thought they were bad enough, but they still weren’t as bad as the little devils.”

He Feng pushed her away, cupped her face and kissed her. “Alright, take care.”

“You too.” Xie Chi also learned from him and pinched his nose. “Although we belong to different camps, when facing foreign enemies, there’s no you and me. After we drive away the devils, we’ll both retire and go live in the mountains together.”

“Deal.” He Feng stepped out from under the umbrella.

Xie Chi watched his hair get soaked by the rain. “Really not coming up?”

“If I go up, I won’t be able to come down.”

Xie Chi joked, “Afraid you’ll die in my bed?”

“If not dead, then half-dead.” He wiped his face and left without looking back. “I’m going.”

Xie Chi watched his retreating figure with a pang of sadness. He got in the car and drove quickly past her, soon disappearing into the curtain of rain.

Constantly separating and reuniting—after experiencing it so many times, she had long grown accustomed to farewells.

She extended her hand outside the umbrella, catching a handful of cold rain, and brought it home with her.

Just as Xie Chi was about to close the door, a hand gripped the door frame.

She quickly pulled the door open. Without saying much, the person directly swept her up in his arms. Suddenly lifted into the air, Xie Chi wrapped her arms around his neck. “Didn’t you say you weren’t coming up?”

“I changed my mind.”

“Half-dead?”

He smiled as he carried her into the room, their soaked clothes dampening the bedding.

“Then I’ll just die here with you.”

…