All doubts were swallowed into his stomach, yet they churned like a pot of sour, bitter, spoiled wine, constantly sloshing in his gut—unable to be expelled downward, impossible to extract upward.

This feeling was terrible.

After Xie Chi went upstairs, Fujita Kiyono stood by the roadside for a long time. When trust is torn open, no matter how desperately one tries to mend it, traces will always remain. He leaned against the car, tilting his face up to gaze at her bedroom window.

The light came on—a distant, unreachable glow, yet it seemed to illuminate him with perfect clarity as well.

His body was numbed by alcohol, but his mind had never been clearer. The past replayed vividly before his eyes, from their first meeting to their parting, from separation to reunion…

That evening it had been raining. He was in civilian clothes, conversing with Kojima in the coffee shop. Xie Chi suddenly appeared under the eaves of the photo studio across the street, sheltering from the rain. In her left hand, she held a bouquet of tulips; in her right, a bag of pan-fried buns—one side romance, the other side life. The rain lasted a long time, laying down a lengthy prelude to their encounter. Xie Chi wore a white dress, just like the white-robed angel who had descended from heaven years ago, once again landing in his gray world.

His gaze never left her. Kojima across from him suddenly said, “Fujita-kun, your eyes are about to fly out of your head. Should we bring her over? Or perhaps inquire about her name?”

Her name—of course he knew her name. He had never forgotten it.

He had also waited for her on such a rainy night, for a very, very long time…

The cold wind blew away the remaining traces of intoxication from his face. Fujita Kiyono smiled bitterly, inexplicably feeling it was all like a pre-arranged performance, a deliberately manufactured coincidence. In half a year of complacent bliss, he had nearly forgotten how she looked when she worked tirelessly through the night treating patients, forgotten her suppressed, numb expression when facing Japanese soldiers.

If hatred could be hidden, then what about love?

Just as Takahashi Tomiji had said:

I see no fondness for you in her eyes.

…

Xie Chi had just removed her coat when the door was knocked. He Feng wouldn’t knock so openly and boldly—it must be Fujita Kiyono. She quickly went to open the door. Before she could clearly see the person’s face, she was pulled tightly into an embrace.

She didn’t struggle. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to leave this place. I can’t bear to part with you.”

“We’ll meet again.”

“Let me take you away.” He released her, gazing earnestly into her eyes. “Come with me.”

“You’re going to the war zone. It’s not suitable for me to go. I’ll wait for you in Shanghai.”

Fujita Kiyono fell silent for a moment, then smiled and caressed her cheek. “Wanzhi, I love you. Do you know that?”

“Yes, I love you too.”

“If one day Japan is defeated and I’m expelled from China, would you be willing to come home with me?”

Xie Chi didn’t hesitate for even a moment. “Yes.”

Fujita Kiyono smiled. He lowered his face, his lips approaching, touching the corner of her mouth. Just as he was about to continue his invasion, A’Ru suddenly opened the door and cried out, “Ah—sorry!” She immediately turned around. “Please continue.”

She did it on purpose. She had been eavesdropping behind the door for a long time.

A’Ru didn’t fully understand what Xie Chi was doing, only knowing she was resisting Japan in another way, pretending to be with this Japanese devil. She couldn’t help much with serious matters, so she could only repeatedly interrupt them in this manner.

Xie Chi took the opportunity to push him away, feigning shyness as she turned her face aside. “Go back and rest. Get a good night’s sleep, don’t overthink things. Tomorrow I’ll make something delicious and come see you.”

Fujita Kiyono nodded. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Be careful on the road.”

“Alright.”

…

For two consecutive nights, Fujita Kiyono dreamed of Xie Chi pointing a gun at him and shooting him dead.

Although he constantly reassured himself it was just speculation, even if she truly had ulterior motives, it didn’t matter—for the sake of the country, it should… should be understandable. But this matter was like an incredibly hard stone lodged in his heart, making him unable to eat or sleep peacefully.

There wasn’t much time left here. He didn’t want to spend the remaining time in daily and nightly suspicions. He wanted an answer, even if it was the one he didn’t want to see.

At noon, Fujita Kiyono picked up Xie Chi for lunch as usual, appearing to set aside all bad emotions. But after dropping her off at the qipao shop, he drove to a tea house on Tiantong Road.

Nearby was a very famous Red Mansion, housing dozens of well-trained Japanese ronin specializing in espionage work. Some engaged in intelligence gathering and assassination activities, others infiltrated behind Chinese military lines to lurk. Due to their outstanding achievements, they received strong support from Japanese military departments and various organizations.

Fujita Kiyono secretly summoned a Japanese spy named Maeda Tsuki, who had been an excellent agent in Manchukuo. Fujita Kiyono ordered him to monitor Xie Chi, observe who she had been in contact with recently, and report her every move to him.

For better surveillance, Maeda Tsuki rented an apartment across from Xie Chi’s residence, and during the day, he stayed in a coffee shop near the qipao store.

In the evening, Yamashita drove to pick up Xie Chi to meet Fujita Kiyono.

He was in a meeting. Xie Chi waited in the office. The secretary poured her a cup of tea and left, closing the door behind him.

A stack of documents lay on the desk, with several opened papers pressed under a yellow envelope. Xie Chi went over and glanced through them—they were documents submitted by the military supplies department regarding the transport of some military equipment.

She hadn’t brought a miniature camera, so she quickly scanned the contents and memorized the general information.

When Fujita Kiyono returned, she was watering flowers by the window. Hearing the door open, she looked back at him and joked casually, “If you’d come any later, I would have watered the flowers to death.”

He walked behind Xie Chi, curved his back, and rested his chin on her right shoulder. “What do you want to eat tonight?”

“I want Sichuan cuisine.”

“Then let’s go.”

Xie Chi put down the watering can.

“I’ll change clothes, wait a moment.” Fujita Kiyono walked toward the small room in the back. Passing by the desk, his peripheral vision glanced at the stack of documents on the table—he had deliberately placed them there to test whether Xie Chi would steal intelligence.

The documents were forged by him, but the items were real. Only he and the transport personnel knew about them. Even if he had to use these supplies as the price, he just wanted a definitive answer.

The owner of the Sichuan restaurant was very familiar with Xie Chi. In fact, he wasn’t just a restaurant owner but one of her comrades. Knowing this little devil couldn’t eat spicy food, he deliberately added extra chili peppers to the boiled fish. Watching him continuously drinking water, he couldn’t suppress his beaming smile.

After dinner, Fujita Kiyono “released” Xie Chi to go home early. The supplies would be transported from Wusong Port at eleven o’clock tonight, first heading to Xuzhou. He hadn’t closed his eyes for a day, waiting for news.

…

Xie Chi’s appetite had increased recently. She was always hungry. She woke up around six in the morning and went to the kitchen to cook some noodles.

A’Ru was kicked awake by Guoqiang. Hearing the faint sounds outside, she couldn’t fall back asleep either. She got up and leaned against Xie Chi in the kitchen. “Smells so good.”

“Did I wake you?”

“No, it was about time to get up anyway.”

“Want some?”

“You only cooked this little bit. Eat it yourself.” She yawned. “I’ll cook when Guoqiang wakes up.”

Xie Chi took her bowl of noodles and sat at the dining table, eating with her head down.

A’Ru was having her period, and her lower back ached. She found a menstrual belt—she had made all of these herself. The tailor shop had plenty of fabric, so she always made many at once. Looking at them neatly arranged, she casually asked Xie Chi, “Sister, haven’t you had your period yet?”

Aunt Wang’s pickled radish was delicious. Xie Chi was just biting into half a piece when she heard A’Ru’s question. She stopped her descending teeth. “No.”

“How long has it been? That’s really abnormal.” A’Ru washed her hands and came out of the bathroom. “When was the last time?”

“I forgot.”

A’Ru stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders. “Sister, how can you forget such a thing? You need to pay attention to your health.”

“I’ve always been irregular, you know that.”

“You really should see a doctor. People who don’t know might think you’re pregnant.”

Xie Chi’s heart skipped a beat. Those two words struck her heart like an iron hammer. She held the noodles with her chopsticks suspended in mid-air, desperately trying to recall when her last period was, but had no memory of it at all.

A’Ru yawned. “I’m so sleepy. I’ll go sleep a bit more.”

“Mm.”

The room returned to silence—a terrifying silence.

Xie Chi couldn’t eat another bite. She put down her chopsticks and stood in front of the mirror, lifting her clothes. Her lower abdomen was flat, no different from before.

Xie Chi lowered her clothes and sat back down.

Her body wasn’t normal. She had been examined at the hospital before, and the doctor said she would have difficulty conceiving. She and He Feng had been together so many times without pregnancy—it shouldn’t be possible, right?

She stared at the bowl of noodles, but had lost all appetite.

She had been feeling nauseous and wanting to vomit recently, and her body had undergone some subtle changes. Could she really be pregnant?

The more Xie Chi thought about it, the more frightening it became. She abandoned her chopsticks, wrapped herself up, and went out. Not daring to go to a major hospital, she took a car to a traditional Chinese medicine clinic far away. After taking her pulse, it was confirmed—she was indeed pregnant.

“How far along?”

“I can’t tell from the pulse. How long since your last period?”

“I don’t remember.” Xie Chi mumbled. “I’ve always been irregular. Before, I’d often go two months between periods, sometimes more than two months. I don’t keep track of time, too busy. It seems like it’s been a long time, maybe since summer.”

Although she didn’t remember these details, she remembered clearly every intimate moment with He Feng. They had met again in late November; before that was August.

According to the doctor, drowsiness, body heat, nausea, and fatigue—when did they start? November, October, September seemed to have them already. She touched her lower abdomen, murmuring, “It should be more than three months. But why doesn’t my belly show at all?”

“At three months, you’re quite thin, so there’s nothing strange about it.” Seeing her panicked appearance, the doctor asked, “Don’t you want it?”

Xie Chi didn’t answer. “How much longer before my belly gets big?”

“Everyone’s different, but usually by four or five months, it’s visible.”

Xie Chi looked down at her belly. Perhaps because she was deliberately trying to sense it, she felt as if the child inside was moving. Thinking that this little life was already so developed, she unconsciously smiled.

Seeing her expression, the doctor smiled. “Let me prescribe some fetal-stabilizing medicine for you.”

She looked up. “Ah, yes.”

“Go home and eat more to nourish yourself—beef, mutton, liver. Buy some red dates and dried longan to eat. They’re good for blood and qi. Your complexion doesn’t look very good. You need more rest.”

“Okay.”

…

This wasn’t entirely good news, even somewhat untimely, but she was undoubtedly happy. She was carrying He Feng’s child. If he knew, he would surely be as excited as she was, if not more.

But undoubtedly, he would insist on sending her away from here, not allowing her or the child to be in any danger.

What should she do?

She urgently wanted to share this news with him, but also wanted to obtain more intelligence from Fujita Kiyono. Anyway, he would leave Shanghai at the beginning of next month—only a dozen days remained.

Xie Chi fell into a dilemma.

The rickshaw passed through potholes. Xie Chi gripped the handrail tightly, instructing the puller, “Please go slowly.”

“Sure thing.”

Maeda Tsuki had followed her all the way, but he didn’t rashly go in to ask the doctor what Xie Chi was there for—that would easily alert her.

Xie Chi didn’t go to the shop but bought some ingredients and carried large and small packages home, staying there the entire day.

Maeda Tsuki thought she might be sick, or someone else in her household.

The supplies were successfully transported to their destination without any incidents. Combined with Maeda Tsuki’s several days of surveillance showing nothing unusual about Xie Chi, this put Fujita Kiyono at ease.

In fact, Xie Chi hadn’t passed along that intelligence at all that day. Too close to the last assassination operation, she feared Fujita Kiyono would become suspicious. Moreover, the batch of supplies wasn’t large—not worth increasing her risk of exposure.

Just when Fujita Kiyono had completely dismissed his suspicions of her, Maeda Tsuki came to meet with him, bringing a package of medicine dregs and a prescription. He said, “Miss Xie went to see a traditional Chinese doctor early yesterday morning, then bought some ingredients. She didn’t leave home until this morning, when she threw this package of residue away at a place far from home. I collected these and inquired at the pharmacy—many of the herbs are for stabilizing pregnancy.”

Upon hearing this, Fujita Kiyono froze, then laughed. “How is that possible? How could she be pregnant? Impossible.” His smile gradually disappeared. “Perhaps it’s A’Ru.”

Seeing his expression, Maeda Tsuki vaguely understood something and kept his head down, not daring to speak.

Fujita Kiyono sat dumbfounded for a long time, then suddenly stood up and grabbed Maeda Tsuki’s collar. “You must be mistaken!”

Maeda Tsuki’s neck turned red from being strangled. “I can bring that Chinese doctor here.”

Fujita’s eyes shook violently, his fingers trembling uncontrollably. He violently pushed him away. “Go, immediately!”

Fujita Kiyono didn’t have Maeda Tsuki bring the doctor to headquarters—that would be too conspicuous. He waited at a nearby tea house.

His beloved woman was pregnant, and already more than three months along.

This news was undoubtedly fatal to Fujita Kiyono. He would rather Xie Chi was a spy sent by the enemy army, rather she was just using his position to serve her country.

He didn’t have the expected rage, didn’t kill the doctor to silence him. Instead, he had Maeda Tsuki safely escort the man back and, when Xie Chi went for more medicine, to replace the fetal-stabilizing medicine with abortion-inducing drugs.

He calmed down at the tea house all afternoon, then personally drove to pick up Xie Chi in the evening. He even bought her a bouquet of yellow roses.

Xie Chi was measuring a woman when Fujita Kiyono sat in the corner watching her. Zhang Ya came back from outside and greeted him. “Mr. Fujita.”

Fujita Kiyono smiled and nodded.

Zhang Ya walked past Xie Chi to the counter and picked up a feather duster. “Such a big bouquet of flowers, beautiful.”

Could it be him?

Fujita Kiyono examined him—checkered shirt, yellow vest, gray pants, severely worn short boots, disheveled hair, black grime between his fingernails. She wouldn’t fancy such a slovenly man.

Xie Chi put down her measuring tape and looked over at him. Fujita Kiyono met her gaze with a smile. After she finished her work, Fujita Kiyono wanted to take her to dinner. For the first time, he didn’t ask for Xie Chi’s opinion, driving straight to a Japanese restaurant.

Fujita Kiyono ordered many fishy items. At this time, Xie Chi was particularly sensitive to smells. Just the aroma made her feel unbearable, so she could only eat boiled vegetables and rice balls. Fujita Kiyono picked up a piece of sashimi with sauce and brought it to her mouth. “Try this.”

To cater to him, Xie Chi often came with him to eat these things before, though she disliked them greatly. She looked at Fujita Kiyono’s smiling face, afraid he’d become suspicious, and opened her mouth to eat it. She forcibly suppressed her nausea and swallowed with difficulty.

Fujita Kiyono picked up another piece. “Very good, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Xie Chi pushed away his hand. “I’ll do it myself.”

He smiled and pushed a plate of clams toward her. “Eat more.”

“Thank you.”

Fujita Kiyono poured a cup of sake, drinking while watching her. “We haven’t been horseback riding in a while. How about we go relax tomorrow? You’ve been busy at the shop lately, and I hardly see you.”

“There’s a rush order that needs to be finished and delivered tomorrow.”

“Then the day after tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Xie Chi was about to vomit. She pinched her thigh, not daring to chew carefully, swallowing the food in her mouth whole and eating a few cucumber slices.

Fujita Kiyono poured her wine. “How about we watch a movie later? There’s a new film just released.”

“That sounds good.”

It was a British romance film, rather boring. Xie Chi had no mood to watch seriously. After a few minutes, she began endless daydreaming until the film ended.

On the way home, Fujita Kiyono kept talking about the female lead in the movie. Xie Chi responded with only a few words, wanting only to get home quickly.

Fujita Kiyono escorted her to the door. Xie Chi turned to him. “We played so late today. Go home and rest early.”

He held her hand, carefully studying her expression. “May I stay the night at your place?”

“That wouldn’t be appropriate. People will gossip.”

Fujita Kiyono smiled and released her. “You rest early too.”

“Yes, goodbye.”

…

Fujita Kiyono didn’t go home. He went to the apartment across the street that Maeda Tsuki had rented and spent the night. For the next two nights, he kept watch there, not seeing any strange visitors. Xie Chi turned off her lights and went to sleep soon after returning home each evening.

Until three days later, deep in the night.

He moved so fast that Fujita Kiyono couldn’t even see how he got up there. He just saw a black shadow climb the tree twice and whoosh into her window.

He felt his breathing stop, as if countless thin ropes were wrapped around his neck, always loosening just at the brink of death, and just as he was about to revive, tightening again endlessly…

Xie Chi hadn’t actively sought out He Feng, partly because it was difficult to contact him, and partly to avoid worrying him. The day before yesterday, the organization issued orders for them to assassinate three Japanese officials who had come from Nanjing to Shanghai for a meeting, and to steal the meeting outline. Xie Chi couldn’t leave at this time. She had to complete the mission first, then tell He Feng about this matter, and then peacefully go to a quiet place to nurture the pregnancy and give birth to the child.

He Feng had come to bring her lychees. He had arranged for another batch to be delivered.

As soon as he put down the lychees, he began pestering Xie Chi.

She was tickled by his pestering and laughed, pressing against his face. “You just came here for this, didn’t you? Using lychees as a pretext.”

“I missed you so much.” He Feng held her neck and kissed her. “I missed you to death.”

Xie Chi reluctantly pushed him away. “No, I don’t feel well.”

The desire in He Feng’s eyes diminished by half. “Where don’t you feel well?”

“My stomach.”

“Did you eat something bad?”

“No.” She took his hand and placed it on her abdomen. “Just rub it for me.”

He Feng reached under her clothes to massage for her.

Xie Chi covered his hand. “Lighter.”

He reduced the pressure. “Like this?”

“Mm.”

Seeing her continuous smile, He Feng asked, “What’s making you so happy?”

Xie Chi wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’ll have a child for you. We’ll use the names you picked—He Shan for a boy, He Hai for a girl.”

He Feng smiled mischievously. “Want a child?” His hand moved upward. “Then I’ll work extra hard tonight.”

“Don’t be silly.” Xie Chi pulled down his hand. “Keep massaging.”

He Feng raised his eyebrows playfully. “Alright, continuing.”

Looking at his aggrieved expression, Xie Chi said, “Your birthday is in a few days.”

“Going to give me a present?”

“What do you want?”

“I want peace, and you.”

“You’ll have both.”

He Feng leaned down to kiss her. Xie Chi bit his lip, mumbling unclearly, “I want to eat lychees. Go peel lychees for me.”

He Feng sucked her lip. “Then you have to let go of me first.”

Xie Chi released her teeth. He Feng kissed toward her collarbone. Xie Chi rolled to the edge of the bed. “Lychees.”

He Feng scratched his hair, lazily getting up. “Wait for it.”

He quietly went out, put the lychees in a small basin and brought them in, pointing at her. “You’re not allowed to sleep until you finish eating all of these today.”

Xie Chi hugged her pillow, sitting on the bedside watching him. “Alright.”

After eating half the lychees, Xie Chi fell asleep nestled in his arms.

He Feng carefully placed her at the head of the bed and covered her with the quilt. He crouched beside the bed, gazing at her sleeping face. Finally, he gently kissed her hair before reluctantly leaving.

…

Light shone in the room. The curtains weren’t completely closed, leaving a winding gap. Fujita Kiyono stood at the window, a thin beam of light striking his face, dividing this pale face in half, making it look both tragic and beautiful.

His eyelashes trembled lightly, his eyes dark as an endless abyss. He stared unblinkingly at that patch of dark squares, waiting for that man to leave.

Ten minutes, twenty minutes, forty minutes, sixty minutes, eighty minutes.

Eighty-three minutes.

He Feng jumped out the original way, his form agile as he ran south, quickly disappearing from sight.

Fujita Kiyono gazed at the pitch-black intersection, wondering what had happened during those eighty-three minutes.

He suddenly laughed coldly, recalling the past layer by layer. Their first meeting, horseback riding, dining, the office, and that day she suddenly appeared at the banquet, standing with him.

He should have noticed long ago.

He walked into the bathroom and used cold water to calm himself down.

The thin stream wasn’t enough. He filled a bathtub with cold water and plunged his entire body into it.

Fujita Kiyono wandered the empty streets in wet clothes like a ghost.

In a daze, he came to the entrance of a small dance hall. He stood outside looking at the ambiguous lighting inside and was pulled in by a dance girl.

This was the only lively place at this hour.

Seeing this distinguished-looking customer, the manager called over several girls to accompany him.

Fujita Kiyono looked at the row of women—some in Western dress, some in qipao, some in short jackets and long skirts, all heavily made up. He stared at the woman at the far end wearing a red dress. “You, come here.”

The woman happily approached him. After exchanging a few words, she directly led him upstairs.

The corridor was long and dark, like a road leading to hell. His mind was filled with images of Xie Chi and Koike Ryuji together.

He looked at the woman walking ahead, suddenly grabbed her hair, dragged her into the room and threw her on the bed. Not wanting to see her face, he flipped her over. He felt a tremendous energy pent up in his body, urgently needing to be released. But just at the moment of entry, he returned to his former impotence.

He gasped heavily, shakily withdrawing, frantically adjusting his clothes. The woman turned over, half-lying on the bed, suddenly covered her face and laughed.

Fujita Kiyono’s fingers were trembling as he fastened his belt. Hearing this laugh, he suddenly looked up at her. “What are you laughing at?”

The woman sat up, placing her hand on his arm to comfort him. “It’s okay.”

“I asked what you’re laughing at?”

“I wasn’t.”

“You’re lying.” He suddenly grabbed her throat, his eyes unusually round with rage, asking in a suppressed voice, “Why are you lying to me?”

The woman was strangled until she couldn’t breathe, her hands clawing wildly at his arms, leaving long, deep nail marks on his pale skin.

Fujita Kiyono looked at her and actually began to laugh. “You smile again. Smile!”

The woman kept struggling, her feet kicking until the bedsheets wrinkled into a mess. Soon, the person under his hands stopped moving.

Fujita Kiyono shook her neck, then suddenly released his grip and stepped back two paces.

He suddenly came to his senses, looking at the motionless woman on the bed. He went forward to check her breathing.

She was dead.

…