Yunshen didn’t know about Wang Jingyao’s arrival; she didn’t even know Wang Jingyao existed. Seeing Ruan Yu standing at the door, she thought she was waiting for her. She smiled and waved at Ruan Yu, showing off the dessert box in her hand. Today she had made something new – through the transparent box, pink and white cream could be seen.
Looking at Yunshen’s innocent smile, Ruan Yu suddenly felt a terrible ache in her heart, but what could she do? Stop Yunshen from entering? She could stop her once, but not a second time. She knew that as long as Yunshen still liked Teng Hao, what she had been worried about would inevitably happen.
When Yunshen entered the house, she immediately saw Wang Jingyao on the sofa and Teng Hao getting drinks for her. Being a sensitive girl with a perceptive heart, she didn’t need to ask to understand what was happening.
“That’s Teng Hao’s classmate,” Ruan Yu put an arm around Yunshen’s shoulders. “She came to ask me for help with schoolwork.”
Yunshen’s rigid body relaxed slightly.
Hearing the sound, Teng Hao turned around. Seeing Yunshen, he immediately ran over and grabbed her wrist, pulling her in front of Wang Jingyao. This action was nothing short of disastrous, but the young man, in his innocence, was completely unaware.
“Jingyao, look, this is my good friend Ren Yunshen,” Teng Hao introduced excitedly. “Yunshen, this is my classmate, Wang Jingyao.”
The two girls sized each other up. They were completely different types of people, evident from their clothing alone. Yunshen usually dressed very properly or simply, rarely wearing such eye-catching colors as Wang Jingyao. If a comparison had to be made, one was like an elegant magnolia, the other like a bright forsythia.
“Hello,” Wang Jingyao smiled at Ren Yunshen first.
Yunshen smiled back and nodded.
“I saw the video of you and Teng Hao performing together online. Your piano playing is amazing. Many boys in our class want to get to know you, but Teng Hao refuses to give out your contact information. Everyone’s wondering if Teng Hao likes you.” Wang Jingyao’s tone and expression were bright and cheerful as if she were simply stating facts, but her words carried ambiguous implications.
Yunshen looked at Teng Hao.
Teng Hao’s face was already red, and Yunshen’s gaze made his cheeks burn even hotter.
“How could that be possible!” He rushed to deny it, forgetting to control his wording and tone. Yunshen’s hopeful heart, like a balloon inflated to its maximum, met a sharp needle and shattered to pieces.
How could that be possible? Yes, how could it be? He was such a wonderful person; how could he possibly like her?
Wang Jingyao seemed to have been waiting for this answer, showing her most relaxed smile since entering the house.
Yunshen concealed her emotions, silently placing the dessert box on the table, and gesturing for everyone to open it and eat.
Wang Jingyao was startled for a moment, only just realizing that Ren Yunshen couldn’t speak. Previously, when boys in class asked Teng Hao about Ren Yunshen, he had never mentioned she was mute. Each time he would only tell those boys: “Get lost, you’re not good enough for Yunshen.”
It was because Teng Hao’s description of Ren Yunshen was so perfect that Wang Jingyao had felt threatened, leading to today’s visit.
Wang Jingyao had always known that Teng Hao liked her. Although Teng Hao was somewhat proud and not good at expressing himself, she could feel it in his words and actions. He would prepare gifts for her birthday, buy medicine from the infirmary when she had menstrual pain, and blush when he saw her…
Wang Jingyao quite liked Teng Hao too. After all, he was good-looking, danced well, came from a wealthy family, and was popular enough to be considered a campus heartthrob. She had originally planned to wait until after the college entrance exams to give him a chance to confess to her, and then they would naturally be together.
But plans couldn’t keep up with changes. Recently, she felt that Teng Hao had changed; he wasn’t paying as much attention to her anymore. Meanwhile, Ren Yunshen’s name appeared more and more frequently in his conversations, especially after their collaborative video went viral online. Teng Hao had essentially become Ren Yunshen’s spokesperson – whenever he talked about her, it was either with intense pride or strong protectiveness.
Wang Jingyao was truly jealous, but at this moment, all her jealousy vanished into nothing. No matter how beautiful or elegant Ren Yunshen was, being unable to speak was a fatal flaw. How could Teng Hao be like a mute girl? Even if he had some feelings, he would never end up with a mute. This realization greatly boosted Wang Jingyao’s confidence.
“Try some, Yunshen’s cooking is excellent,” Ruan Yu came over to encourage Wang Jingyao on Yunshen’s behalf.
Wang Jingyao shook her head: “I’ll pass, I’m on a diet lately.”
Ruan Yu didn’t insist. She pointed to Wang Jingyao’s backpack: “Then take out your exercise book, let me look at the problem.”
“Okay, thank you, Sister Ruan.”
“Don’t mention it.”
As Wang Jingyao took out her exercise book and handed it to Ruan Yu, she asked, “Sister Ruan, do you think Teng Hao has a chance to get into a university in Bei City with his current grades?”
“Oh? Teng Hao wants to go to Bei City?” Ruan Yu looked at Teng Hao.
“We agreed to take the college entrance exam for Bei City universities together,” Wang Jingyao quickly answered.
“The college entrance exam involves both ability and luck. I can’t predict the outcome,” Ruan Yu answered conservatively.
“That’s true. I hope we both perform well, then we can be together.” Wang Jingyao quickly covered her mouth, “Oh no, I mean, then we can go to university together.”
Teng Hao blushed again. He roughly scratched the back of his head, just smiling without explaining that wanting to study in Bei City was a shared wish among seven or eight members of their study group, not just between him and Wang Jingyao.
Listening to Wang Jingyao’s intentional or unintentional boasting about plans with Teng Hao, Ren Yunshen could no longer contain her emotions. She forced herself to stand up from the sofa, making piano-playing gestures to everyone to indicate she needed to go practice.
“Didn’t you practice already today?” Teng Hao asked.
Ren Yunshen ignored him and turned to leave.
Teng Hao wanted to say more, but Ruan Yu held him back. In this situation, staying would only hurt Yunshen more. It was better to let her go home – out of sight, out of mind.
“Yunshen…”
“What about her?”
“She seems strange today.”
“Strange how?”
Teng Hao thought for a moment and shook his head. If he had to say exactly what was strange, he couldn’t pinpoint it. Just that she wasn’t quite the same as usual.
“Just go upstairs and study,” Ruan Yu said exasperatedly.
“Oh.”
–_–
After encountering Wang Jingyao, Ren Yunshen never came to visit Teng Hao at home again. She didn’t reply to his messages either. The thread connecting them seemed to have snapped – although they lived next door to each other when one person deliberately avoided contact, the meeting became as difficult as climbing to heaven.
Teng Hao couldn’t understand Yunshen’s sudden coldness.
“Miss Valedictorian, did I do something wrong to make Yunshen unhappy?” he asked Ruan Yu.
“Think about it yourself.”
Teng Hao thought hard all night, but his conclusion the next day made Ruan Yu want to laugh and cry.
“Could it be because I rejected those boys in our class on her behalf?”
“…”
What kind of logic was this? Well, expecting Teng Hao to understand a girl’s heart was like expecting a pig to climb a tree.
Afraid of making their relationship even worse, Ruan Yu didn’t dare give too much guidance, and could only worry from the sidelines.
A week before the final exams, Ren Yunshen finally contacted Teng Hao on her initiative.
That evening, just as Ruan Yu arrived at the Teng house, she saw Teng Hao running downstairs excitedly. He was putting on his coat while running and didn’t even stop when he saw Ruan Yu. Only when he reached the porch did he pause while changing shoes to tell her: “Yunshen asked to meet me, I’m going to see her first, wait for me a bit.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, he had already opened the door and run out joyfully.
Ruan Yu had thought this would be a reconciliation meeting between Teng Hao and Yunshen, but it turned out to be a farewell.
About an hour later, Teng Hao returned, his dejected appearance completely different from when he left. What worried Ruan Yu most was his slightly reddened eyes.
“What happened?” Ruan Yu asked him.
Teng Hao said nothing and went straight upstairs.
Ruan Yu quickly followed, but Teng Hao didn’t give her a chance to speak, retreating into his room and locking the door.
“Teng Hao! Teng Hao?”
No matter how much Ruan Yu knocked, there was no response from inside.
What had happened to this boy?
As Ruan Yu was anxiously considering whether to contact Teng Yi, her phone suddenly vibrated in her coat pocket.
It was a message from Yunshen.
Ruan Yu glanced at the screen, immediately spotting the word “goodbye” in the long text. Her heart sank as she quickly unlocked the phone to read:
“Sister Ruan, I’m sorry to say goodbye this way. I’m flying to Hong Kong tonight. I wanted to tell you in person, but you know my situation – even meeting face-to-face, I’d still need to type on my phone… More importantly, I’m afraid I would cry, and I don’t look good when crying. I don’t want you to see that a second time. I hope in your memory, I’ll always be beautiful. I’m really happy to have met you in Liao City. You’re so kind, always thinking of me, just like a real sister. I like you very much, and I hope you and Brother Yi have a good outcome – he’s also a wonderful person, and you’ll be happy together. Hope we meet again. Yunshen.”
Following was a long string of waving and crying emojis.
Ruan Yu stood there, unable to process it for a long time.
Yunshen was leaving!
No wonder Teng Hao was so heartbroken!
Ruan Yu’s heart felt untethered.
With such a departure, who knew when they would meet again?
–_–
Ren Yunshen sent the message to Ruan Yu on the plane. After sending it, she turned off her phone, and put on headphones and an eye mask, like a fish retreating into the deep sea, completely immersing herself in her world.
In her headphones played Jacky Cheung’s “Kiss Goodbye” on repeat.
The King of Pop’s Cantonese-accented Mandarin blended with emotional vocals made tears soak through her eye mask. Her mind repeatedly flashed through memories of time spent with Teng Hao.
Once, he had been her savior. In her heart, he was comparable to the world-saving hero riding on rainbow clouds like in the legend of the Divine Maiden.
Her heart had started fluttering from the moment their eyes met when she fell into his arms.
He had helped her escape her cage – not just the door her stepmother had locked, but the cage of insecurity and timidity she had built around herself.
Going to busy KTV to sing, riding bicycles through noisy streets, selecting steaming breakfast… These ordinary experiences, easily accessible to most people, were all firsts for her.
She loved who she was when she was with him – full of anticipation and laughter, alive as if truly possessing life.
Her father Ren Tianhai had repeatedly suggested she go to Hong Kong, but she kept delaying. She knew once she went to Hong Kong, she would become a Barbie doll on a crystal chair again, with everything – what to wear, what to eat, what to do – arranged precisely. She didn’t want to live that way, but most crucially, she couldn’t bear to leave him.
Although she knew she could never end up with Teng Hao, she still greedily wanted to stay by his side, watching him scratch his head over homework, watching him dance with abandon – one more day, just one more day.
This humble wish was destroyed after Wang Jingyao’s appearance.
Wang Jingyao was bright and bold, her voice clear and crisp like a lark, her words revealing sophisticated cleverness. She was so wonderful, unlike herself – forever quiet and silent, like an alien in this world, unable to express, unable to speak.
A sunny person like Teng Hao should be with such a girl.
They could talk about everything under the sun and dream about the future together.
After leaving the Teng house that day, Ren Yunshen fell into inescapable self-loathing. She hated her imperfection and any sound she could make. Compared to Wang Jingyao, she felt like a clown.
When insecurity deepens into greater insecurity, it’s time to leave.
Ren Yunshen understood she couldn’t stay anymore. She had to save herself.
Her father Ren Tianhai was overjoyed to hear she was willing to go to Hong Kong and quickly arranged everything. But when it came time to leave, Yunshen found herself reluctant again. Although she hadn’t replied to Teng Hao’s messages or contacted him during this time, she would stand by her window every morning, secretly watching him leave for school, and in the evening, waiting for him to return.
She couldn’t imagine that soon, even these careful moments of romance would become a luxury…
Her eye mask was completely wet. Ren Yunshen removed it.
Outside the window, the sky was ink-black. The plane had penetrated the clouds, and not a trace of light could be seen.
An hour ago, Teng Hao had run toward her.
He had said: “Yunshen, Yunshen, you’re finally willing to see me! I thought you’d never talk to me again! You scared me to death!”
Yunshen showed him a line of text she had prepared on her phone:
“Will you walk with me?”
“Of course! Wherever you want to go!”
There were many places she wanted to go, but she had no time – she had a plane to catch. So they just walked around the neighborhood streets once.
Winter night, cold wind, not even fallen leaves on the street, the whole city bare.
The young man remained talkative and boisterous, the young woman still quiet and silent.
Teng Hao seemed to want to tell her everything that had happened these past days, to fill their gap, while Yunshen seemed to give him all her remaining patience. She wanted to treasure his words, to slowly savor them when she was alone later – even the smallest details, as long as they came from him, she loved them all.
After walking for about half an hour, they circled back to where they started.
Ren Yunshen typed to tell him: “I’m going to Hong Kong. I won’t be back for a while.”
Teng Hao stared at her phone screen, stunned.
Ren Yunshen seized the moment, rising on tiptoe to quickly place a kiss on his lips.
Finally.
She had given him her goodbye kiss.
On an empty street.
Teng Hao’s face turned bright red, while Yunshen’s was covered in tears.
She got into the car, letting the driver take her away.
Teng Hao stood motionless, while she cried harder and harder. In the rearview mirror, when he turned to look back, her heart was torn to pieces.
One kiss might mean nothing to him, but it took her entire youth with it.
“Teng Hao, I know I’m not good enough for you, but I still want you to know that I liked you. Still do. Maybe always will. If I can’t forget, I’ll blame both you and myself. Blame myself for being too young, blame you for being too dazzling. I don’t want to say goodbye – if we can’t be together, I hope we never meet again. Yunshen.”