◎ Better and Better! ◎

On her way back to the city, the local specialties her mother had asked her to bring for her second-aunt, Gu Qiao sold on the train. She thought it would be better to convert them into money and give that to her second-aunt instead.

As soon as Gu Qiao returned to the city, she went straight to Dazhongmen, brought the sample jacket and the leather to the workshop’s young owner, and asked if they could produce the style she wanted. She said that regardless of whether the five finished pieces matched what she had in mind, she would still pay for them. If she was satisfied with the results, she would place a large order. Before this, she had already learned that some workshops, to secure business, would purchase clothes from department stores, strip off the labels, and claim them as their own work. To prevent this from happening, she was meticulous in her quality checks.

Before going home for the New Year, Gu Qiao had originally planned to wait until she had secured a permanent stall location before handing in her resignation. But the moment the holiday ended and work officially resumed, she went straight in and submitted her notice.

Her colleagues in the office all assumed she was resigning for a better opportunity elsewhere. When Jiang Kai received her name card, he realized she was leaving to become a self-employed individual. Gu Qiao had distributed her cards to everyone — if anyone ever needed leather gloves or leather jackets in the future, they could contact her. He thought she was making a terrible mistake. The head of the Procurement Division had noticed Gu Qiao through the photo incident some time ago, had heard she was capable, and had taken a liking to her. Jiang Kai felt that if she put in a little effort making connections, getting into the Procurement Division would be entirely possible for her. What kind of standing, he thought, does a young woman have running her own business — even if she earns a bit more? He urged her earnestly: while the resignation hadn’t been approved yet, it wasn’t too late to take it back.

Old Yuan’s heart held the same sentiment as Jiang Kai’s, but then again, when he thought about fetching hot water for this whole office full of people day in and day out, there really was nothing to look forward to. He studied Gu Qiao’s card and asked the question he cared about most: “What kinds of leather jackets are you selling?” His wife’s hometown had no leather jacket shops, and his younger brother-in-law had written asking him to help buy one. He had checked the counters at Wangfujing and Xidan, and had found the prices daunting. If his brother-in-law had paid in advance it would have been one thing — but being asked to front the money himself, the man would probably cause some kind of scene if the price was too high.

“What type of leather do you want?”

“As long as it’s leather, really.” Enough to satisfy his brother-in-law.

“Page my number in a week. I’ll deliver it directly to you.”

On the day she handed in her resignation, Gu Qiao returned to the Luo household early. She gathered all the clothes her second-aunt had given her — all of which she had already laundered — and ironed each piece with care, folding them neatly on the bed. Working in clothing sales had taught her many things, including how to fold clothes without leaving any creases.

Gu Qiao had found her job through Zhou Zan’s connections, and the moment her resignation was submitted, word automatically made its way to Zhou Zan.

Before Gu Qiao had officially told Mrs. Luo, Mrs. Luo had already heard about it from Zhou Zan. Gu Qiao had said nothing about resigning before the New Year, and then did so without warning afterward — there was only one possible explanation: her parents had found out that the job had been arranged through Zhou Zan. Lou Deyu was truly something else — after all these years, just to avenge an old grudge, he was willing to sacrifice his daughter’s future prospects.

After the resignation, Zhou Zan also mentioned Gu Qiao’s street stall. At first Mrs. Luo suspected she had misheard, and couldn’t help asking Zhou Zan: “Gu Qiao has been running a stall all winter? Where did you hear this?” Gu Qiao had been running a stall all along — and yet she had told her she was studying English? And Zhou Zan had known about it before she did? Mrs. Luo used half a minute of silence to absorb these facts.

Zhou Zan had learned before the New Year from a friend that Gu Qiao was running a street stall. Now she had resigned as well — other than financial reasons, there was little other explanation. Seeing a young person who had been weighed down by a parent’s mistakes, still striving so hard, always made him think of himself. People always said he was becoming more and more like his father, offering it to him as though it were a compliment. He would smile in acknowledgment, but inside he felt only contempt. If his father hadn’t placed what he imagined to be his reputation above all else, Zhou Zan himself would not have suffered so much in those years. He, at least, had not allowed his family to suffer materially.

“If your older cousin-sister is facing financial difficulties, and you’re also short on funds for the moment, I can help. I’d transfer the money to your cousin-sister in your name.”

Zhou Zan knew perfectly well that she was not short on funds.

“I’m aware of the situation. There’s no need for you to trouble yourself.” Zhou Zan’s tone made Mrs. Luo uncomfortable — as if her concern for her cousin-sister were no match for his. She had asked Zhou Zan to help find work for Gu Qiao as one matter, with herself as the one doing the helping, and Zhou Zan only lending a hand as a courtesy to her. And now he was acting as though he were the principal party.

“Please don’t misunderstand. Even seeing an old friend’s family in difficulty — I would help.”

“This is a family matter. I’ll handle it myself.” Mrs. Luo understood now — when Zhou Zan said “please don’t misunderstand,” he was in fact accusing her of not doing enough for her cousin-sister’s family. After hanging up the phone, Mrs. Luo laughed quietly to herself, with a touch of irony. Among the Gu family, Zhou Zan probably considered himself a man of entirely clear conscience only when it came to her. He had helped her resolve the matter of employment, and in doing so indirectly facilitated her marriage — he had convinced himself that in doing this, he had made reparations to Gu Jingshu through her. Having done that much, he felt he now had the right to point fingers at her for failing to do the same. She had not done so, and Zhou Zan now believed himself entitled to reproach her for it.

The humiliation of those years — standing outside Zhou Zan’s door, holding a scarf knitted by her cousin-sister — nearly came flooding back to her. But Mrs. Luo gently stroked her pearl earrings, and that small pain floated away.

She had no regrets. The notion of being so poor that all you had left was your dignity simply did not exist. She had seen too much to believe otherwise. A person could be as foolish as they came, yet with a little power and influence, they could direct a clever, impoverished person like a puppet — what dignity was there to speak of in that? Believing oneself to have dignity was nothing more than self-delusion.

Mrs. Luo had always believed Gu Qiao to be a smart girl. At times she even felt Gu Qiao was too smart. If she had seemed a little less clever — more like her own cousin-sister — Mrs. Luo might have treated her better. People who were too clever never knew how to be grateful.

“If you’re unhappy with your current job, you can talk to me. And if you genuinely need money, as long as the amount is reasonable, I can help with that too. But why did you have to deceive me? Telling me the stall was an English study group. And I still heard about your resignation from an outsider. People who don’t know the situation would think I’m cold and indifferent toward my own relatives — just washing my hands of them.”

“Second-Aunt has already helped me more than enough. I won’t trouble you any further.”

“Did your father say something to you? Matters between the older generation should not be brought to bear on the younger one — and besides, it was all so long ago. One must always look forward.”

“It’s precisely because I’m looking forward that I want to rely on myself.”

Gu Qiao reached into her pocket and took out an envelope. She had counted the bills inside five times over, until she was familiar with every single note — only then had she placed the thousand yuan inside.

She handed the envelope to Mrs. Luo: “Second-Aunt, this is the thousand yuan you lent to our family last year. Thank you for all the help you’ve given us.”

She cared little whether these people respected her or not — what she could not bear was for anyone to look down on her mother. What a dignified woman her mother was.

“I don’t need this money. You keep it for the family.”

“A kindness in a moment of crisis is not charity for life. Our family has gotten through our difficulties. Please accept it. I know your help to me has been worth far more than this. Even between relatives, it’s better to keep money matters clear — that way, any future dealings remain clean and simple.”

“Your family has gotten through the difficulties? And yet you’re running a street stall just to earn a little money? Does your mother know you’ve been running a stall?”

“Whatever I do, my mother will support me!”

Mrs. Luo kept her voice carefully restrained: “Support you? Support you at eighteen throwing away a proper job to become a street vendor? Who would want their daughter to become a peddler at a stall! Your mother’s own life is already so hard — why not do something to make her proud? And for a little short-term gain, you throw it all away to be a street vendor!” She lowered her voice further: “This resignation — it was your father’s decision, wasn’t it?”

“The resignation was my decision. And my mother, when she hears, will support me. Earning money through one’s own labor is never shameful — whatever one does.”

“Your decision? Do you want to follow in your mother’s footsteps? She could have had a better life, and yet she chose—”

“I will live well. And so will my mother.”

Mrs. Luo couldn’t help but let out a laugh: “You say ‘very well’ — as in, your street stall will give you a good life? You’re still young. You need to take a longer view of things.”

“You’re right! Life is long, and my mother and I will only get better and better! Haven’t you yourself gotten better and better too?”

“If I had thrown temper tantrums and acted on impulse the way you do — do you think I’d be where I am today? When I first came here, no one helped me. Unlike you, who at least had a second-aunt. Do you think a person from out of town with no connections finds a good life just like that?”

She had spent so many years treading carefully, step by step, before arriving at this life she now had.

“I know a good life isn’t easily gotten. That’s why I’ll work hard.”

“You think hard work alone is enough for a good life? Your mother has endured so much hardship — what kind of life is she living now?”

“Thank you for your concern for my mother. I’ll make sure she has a good life as soon as I can. The clothes you lent me — I’ve already ironed and folded them. My stall is closer to my friend’s home, so I’ll be moving out today.”

“Moving out? Where to?”

“Chen Qing’s place — Zhensir Hutong. I mentioned it to you before.”

Mrs. Luo looked at the neatly folded old clothes, then at Gu Qiao’s padded jacket. One glance was enough to tell her that Gu Qiao’s clothes were bought only for appearance’s sake — the quality would be poor.

“Are you upset with me because I didn’t buy you many new clothes? I’ve barely worn these myself. Do you really think new clothes from a stall would be better than these?”

“I know your clothes are better in quality and price than what I can afford right now. But I’m more comfortable wearing my own things. There’s a kind of ease to wearing what’s yours.”

“Ease?” Mrs. Luo repeated the word. When you’re pushed forward by hardship, when your mind is filled with every last cent, when money has you in its grip — what ease could there possibly be? She was certain that Gu Qiao would regret this before long, and would naturally come back to her then. The girl had no idea how difficult real life truly was, after having lived in this comfortable household. Who would choose to rely on others if they could rely on themselves?

Gu Qiao’s gaze stopped the words Mrs. Luo was about to say. Gu Qiao was indeed her cousin-sister’s daughter — she was fighting for her mother’s honor. At that moment, Mrs. Luo suddenly felt that she had consistently underestimated Gu Qiao.

“Thank you, Second-Aunt, for all your help during my time here.” She gave Mrs. Luo a bow, as if their entire conversation had passed without a single unpleasant word.

“If you ever find yourself in difficulty, you can always come back.” It was what her cousin-sister had always used to say to her — “this is your home” — though she had eventually come to resent that home and stopped returning. Years later, as her answer to her cousin-sister, she gave those same words to Gu Qiao.

Gu Qiao had arrived with few belongings and left with few belongings.

Luo the Fourth was the most reluctant to see her go. Second Brother and Third Sister were completely on a different wavelength from him.

“Cousin-Sister, where are you going? Will you still come visit often?”

“Next New Year, Cousin-Sister will come and see you, and bring you a big red envelope!” Gu Qiao believed she would keep getting better.

—

Spring arrived. Gu Qiao’s pig-leather jackets sold extraordinarily well. She was selling them to retail counters at eighty yuan per piece, with the counters reselling at a hundred.

The jackets sold so fast that Gu Qiao was busier than she had been in any office job. At night, she fell asleep the moment her head touched the pillow. Beneath the pillow she kept an electric baton and a spring-loaded knife. Before lying down, she would push a cabinet against the door as a barricade against intruders. She had moved out of the Chen family’s place and rented two rooms, which served as both her home and her warehouse.

Having heard that leather jackets fetched higher prices near the border, Gu Qiao decided to test the waters. On the train to Erlian Haote, she ran into that middle-aged couple again.

“You came alone? How come your Cousin-Brother isn’t with you?” The middle-aged man caught himself immediately: “Out with the old, in with the new.”

Gu Qiao turned to look out the window. The sunlight was too dazzling — bright enough to coax a single tear from her eyes.

—