◎ The Second Draw ◎

“Cousin, whatever gift you give me, I’ll love it.” She tried to find words Luo Peiyin could accept. “I don’t care about the price.”

“Then why, when you wanted to give me a gift, did you pass over your own merchandise and go out of your way to give someone else your business?”

“I…” She had wanted to give him something good, and the belts she sold were good too — relative to her prices — but she felt that for Luo Peiyin, they weren’t good enough.

The salesclerk, eager to make the sale, jumped in with a smile: “Miss, this style is much more flattering on you — it has a bolder, more generous feel.”

Gu Qiao was used to doing business herself, and naturally knew what was going through the clerk’s mind. She smiled and said: “You think the one I chose just now was too modest? I’d say someone with a grand spirit looks grand in anything they wear.”

The clerk could only smile stiffly in return. She could see that Gu Qiao genuinely wanted the cheaper option. When customers weren’t truly trying to save money but were simply being polite, they would say things like, “Oh, isn’t this a bit expensive…” — at which point she would respond that it was expensive for others, perhaps, but certainly not for someone like you, while also flattering the man on his generosity, building him up. In that kind of atmosphere, unless the man was particularly tight-fisted or genuinely couldn’t afford it, he would usually buy the pricier item.

Luo Peiyin didn’t heed Gu Qiao’s suggestion, and insisted on the one he felt was more suitable.

The clerk heaped quite a few compliments on Luo Peiyin. He didn’t accept the praise about his generosity at face value — instead, he asked for the bracelet to be reweighed. The actual weight differed from the listed weight by 0.02 grams, and the price was accordingly reduced by two yuan.

This was January 1992. The previous January, a single subway fare had gone up to fifty fen. Two yuan was the cost of four subway rides.

When Luo Peiyin paid, Gu Qiao inadvertently caught a glimpse of his wallet — only two yuan left inside, lying in the compartment. She hadn’t meant to look. She had never had the habit of peeking at how much money was in other people’s wallets. He quickly closed the wallet, giving her no second chance to confirm what she’d seen.

The way he handled the money was very… very much like it meant nothing to him. Gu Qiao felt a sudden rush of complicated emotions. So this was what it meant to put on a brave face — here he was with barely any money in his pocket, making himself out to be some big spender, even taking her out to buy gold jewelry.

From newspapers and various sources, Gu Qiao had learned that the cost of living in America was very high. The money from his family and what he had earned in Hainan was enough for Luo Peiyin to live very comfortably in China, but that same amount in America would not go far. Brief visits home were also a very different thing from long-term residency. A young man from a developing country stepping into life in a developed country for the first time was probably much like her own experience of arriving in the city from the countryside. In some ways his adjustment might have been even harder than hers — before going abroad he had lived very well, unlike her, who had steeled herself for hardship from the start.

“Thank you, Cousin.” He had said he didn’t like haggling, so she didn’t make a scene in public over the gift.

Luo Peiyin noticed that though Gu Qiao was smiling this time, it was different from before. Only the curve of her mouth indicated she was smiling — there was no trace of it in her eyes. This person who loved money so much, receiving something this expensive, showed not the slightest trace of happiness.

In that moment, Luo Peiyin had a strong urge to reach out and touch Gu Qiao’s hair — but his hand was inside his coat pocket, and Gu Qiao couldn’t make out its shape.

“Cousin, where are you headed? I’ll give you a lift.” Luo Peiyin had come to meet her today without his car and without a bike — if those two yuan hadn’t been refunded, was he planning to walk home?

“No need — I’ll take the subway back.”

“Cousin, I’d like to talk with you a little longer. It won’t take much of your time.”

Gu Qiao held the gift box Luo Peiyin had given her and, without waiting for him to respond, brought up the belt she had given him: “The reason I didn’t give you a belt from my own stall is that I wanted to tell you — I’m different from who I was two years ago. You should update your impression of me. As long as you accept my gift, I’m happy. Honestly, hearing you say you like what I gave you makes me happier than anything. You really don’t need to immediately give something back in return. It actually makes things feel…”

It made things feel more distant. But then again, they were relatives in name only — barely connected by any real tie. After two years apart, a certain distance was probably natural…

“So do you think I’m the same as I was two years ago?”

“I think you’re still just as wonderful as before.” Gu Qiao deliberately left out “Cousin” this time. She felt he had changed in some ways, but the things she liked about him hadn’t changed. He didn’t talk much about life abroad — probably the same as her own claim that everything was going smoothly. She guessed that his studies in America had come with some setbacks, and that he might very much need her encouragement.

Gu Qiao began to pour out the words she had been holding in: “No matter what happens, in my eyes you’ve always been remarkable — and that has nothing to do with money or wealth…”

Luo Peiyin was struck by an incongruous thought — this sounded rather like wedding vows. For richer or poorer…

“Cousin, have you run into any difficulties in America?”

“No.” Luo Peiyin watched Gu Qiao’s face with unhurried attention. “Are you hoping I have?”

“How could I? How could I possibly be that kind of person?” She had simply suspected Luo Peiyin wasn’t telling her the truth. In her agitation, her earrings began to bounce.

“Of course I know you aren’t.” This time his answer was more deliberate than the last. “There are the occasional small troubles — but nothing to speak of. The kind of thing any ordinary person encounters just by being alive, wherever they are.”

Gu Qiao suddenly thought of something. She reached into her handbag and pulled out a small waist pouch. From the pouch she took out money and began counting it — cash she had set aside for treating him to meals. She counted it methodically in front of Luo Peiyin. Had Gu Qiao looked up at him at that moment, she would have seen in his eyes exactly the expression she had been searching for — but she didn’t. She was entirely focused on counting, her speed no less than that of a bank teller.

When she finished and looked up, she held out a thousand yuan to him: “Cousin, do you remember the Asian Games lottery tickets we bought two years ago? You didn’t win at the time, but there was a second draw afterward, remember? You won an encouragement prize — a thousand yuan. I never ran into you after that, so I never had a chance to give it to you. I just remembered now, so here — take your long-overdue good fortune! I know you won’t want interest, so I won’t add any.”

He watched her lips as she finished telling, without a hint of shame, this clumsy lie. The two of them had never won anything in the lottery together — every single ticket had thanked them for their support of the Asian Games.

On the very day he returned to Beijing from Singapore, he had bought ten lottery tickets — and every single one thanked him for his support of the Asian Games. So as planned, he had given the money to his sister to pass along to Gu Qiao on his behalf, rather than giving it to her in person.

Gu Qiao had refused. He hadn’t pressed further. He had assumed that was where it ended between them — though “ending” wasn’t quite right either, since it had never truly begun.

Luo Peiyin fixed his gaze on Gu Qiao’s eyes: “A second draw? An encouragement prize?”

Gu Qiao brushed off Luo Peiyin’s skepticism and held her ground, meeting his gaze steadily: “That’s right! Go on, accept it! Cousin, receive this good fortune that’s come to you. When you stretch time out long enough, luck always finds its way to you.” On the day of the second draw, Gu Qiao had gone through each winning number one digit at a time, comparing them against the numbers on her own tickets — not a single one matched. She had so desperately wanted to win back then. She hadn’t made a small windfall from the lottery, but she had gone on to earn much more.

A second draw. She must have seen the two yuan left in his wallet. This person believed he was desperately short of money, and had gone to such lengths, fabricating this whole story, just to get him to accept it.

He wasn’t exactly flush, but he wasn’t as short of money as all that. The cash in the wallet was simply all the Chinese yuan he currently had on him — he still had some US dollars. Ever since he had defied his mother’s wishes and not studied business in America, she had cut off every last cent of his allowance. And because he hadn’t gone into history, philosophy, or the arts either, she still held out a sliver of hope that he would eventually come to his senses. Of course this didn’t stop Madam Liao from lavishing money to encourage and support his cousins in pursuing careers in the arts — as she put it, if the whole family only chased after money, it would all be far too crass.

Gu Qiao still held her hand out. Luo Peiyin closed his hand around hers — and the yuan bills in her palm. On such a cold day, both their hands were icy, and yet the paper money between them held a trace of warmth.

Luo Peiyin didn’t expose Gu Qiao’s lie: “Since you’ve already been holding onto this good fortune for so many days, you go ahead and keep holding it for me. If I ever need it, I’ll ask you for it.”

Luo Peiyin put the bills Gu Qiao had counted out one by one back into her bag.

This time it was Luo Peiyin who broke the silence first: “Let’s go have a look at where you do your business. I’ll drive.”

“You have no gloves — your hands will freeze.”

The car had no heating, and one of the windows leaked cold air. Not that she paid much attention to it herself — she kept gloves in the car at all times and put them on when driving. Even if she squeezed her gloves onto Luo Peiyin’s hands by force, they wouldn’t fit.

“I don’t feel the cold as much.”

“I’d better drive.”

“Would you be willing to lend me your gloves for a moment?”

“My gloves won’t fit you.”

Gu Qiao was about to say something more when Luo Peiyin picked up the gloves she had left in the car and put them on her — left hand first, then the right.

Gu Qiao’s gloved left hand was placed between both of Luo Peiyin’s hands. She guessed he was using her gloves to rub his palms together for warmth.

“May I?”

Gu Qiao nodded instinctively. Her two moss-green earrings swayed back and forth.

Her left hand was gently worked between his two palms — not with much pressure. The warmth rose gradually. As the temperature in her hand climbed, so did the color in her face.

Gu Qiao didn’t understand how she could be so pathetic — the two of them were separated by her gloves, not even actually touching, not even properly holding hands, and yet her heart was pounding like this.

Afraid Luo Peiyin would see her blush, she kept her head lowered. She told herself she ought to have more self-possession — this was truly nothing.

Perhaps noticing the change in Gu Qiao’s complexion, Luo Peiyin stopped making use of her gloves. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m warm now.”

Gu Qiao no longer worried about whether Luo Peiyin’s hands were cold, and contentedly let him drive.

Where she had done all the talking on the way there, now it was Luo Peiyin who spoke.

He voluntarily explained why he was going to Shanghai the next day: “My mother is in Shanghai right now.”

“Visiting as a tourist?”

“Her itinerary probably includes that too.” Even if she had no such intention, her coming to invest in Shanghai meant someone would arrange a sightseeing tour for her.

Since his mother had made the trip all the way here, of course he would accompany her.

Gu Qiao couldn’t help saying: “Will she make a side trip to Beijing? I feel like Shanghai doesn’t have as many scenic spots. Since she’s come all this way, she should do more sightseeing.” If Luo Peiyin was going to be in Shanghai right up until the New Year, she wouldn’t have another chance to treat him.

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