“…” Shu Nian stared at him blankly, her mind still somewhat confused. She sniffled, as if pondering the meaning of his words, and hesitantly asked, “Your girlfriend?”

Xie Ru He continued staring at her, softly making an affirmative sound.

Shu Nian’s tears stopped falling as she said foolishly, “Isn’t that just me?”

Xie Ru He curved his lips: “It’s you.”

“Oh.” Shu Nian withdrew her gaze and thought again. She scratched her head, looking somewhat dejected, then asked in a small voice, “Do I still need to apologize?”

“If you explain something to me, then you don’t need to.”

“Explain what…”

“Explain—” At this point, Xie Ru He’s voice paused for a few seconds, his ears turning hot. He licked his lips, cleared his throat, and said, “Explain that I like Shu Nian very much.”

Hearing these words, Shu Nian suddenly looked at him, her previously wooden and sluggish expression changing. Her eyes were still wet, her thoughts seemingly emptied in an instant, and she unconsciously repeated his words: “I like Shu Nian very much.”

Xie Ru He hadn’t expected Shu Nian to repeat this.

He was taken aback, lowering his eyes, and noticing her blank yet nervous expression.

As if thinking of something, Xie Ru He licked his lips, his expression becoming unnatural. After a few seconds, he lowered his voice and said, “Explain that I like Xie Ru He very much.”

Shu Nian stared at him, repeating mechanically without thinking: “I like Xie Ru He very much.”

The room fell silent.

Xie Ru He turned his head to the side, using the back of his hand against his lips to hide his upturned mouth.

Shu Nian blinked, suddenly realizing what she had just said. Her mouth hung open, her face instantly turning bright red, and she stood up awkwardly, her movements as stiff as a robot.

Before she could take a step, Xie Ru He pulled her back.

Shu Nian completely forgot what he had said earlier, feeling only that she had been teased by him, not knowing what to say, her mood turning sour. She lowered her head and pressed her lips together without speaking.

“I heard you.” Xie Ru He lifted her chin, his voice coming down with his breath, carrying a hint of hoarseness, “Thank you, I like you very much too.”

Shu Nian went to the bathroom and washed her face, trying to cool it down.

In the mirror, her skin was fair, with redness around her eyes and nose, like a rabbit. Her lips had also deepened in color, as if they had just been ravished by something, appearing more vivid than usual.

She licked her lips and couldn’t help but lower her head to wash her face again.

Thinking of Xie Ru He saying “I like Shu Nian very much,” Shu Nian’s heart felt empty and her mind was confused as she left the bathroom.

Xie Ru He was still sitting in the same place, raising his eyes to look at her when he heard the movement. Noticing his lips, Shu Nian turned her head away uncomfortably, pretending to be calm as she climbed onto the bed.

Xie Ru He asked proactively, “Still want to sleep?”

Shu Nian mumbled, “Not sleeping anymore…”

“Then come sit over here.”

Shu Nian’s movement paused, and she crawled over to him reluctantly.

They sat facing each other.

Shu Nian’s face still had a few drops of water on it, her skin crystal clear, as white as if transparent. The corners of her mouth were slightly raised, her mood seeming not as bad as before, though she still spoke little.

She didn’t initiate conversation.

After a while.

“Nian Nian, you always have your thoughts,” Xie Ru He suddenly spoke, his voice slow and steady. “No matter if what you say might anger others, or if someone argues with you, you never change your mind about things you believe are right.”

Shu Nian looked up: “Huh?”

“And I always think your ideas are right. So all along,” Xie Ru He met her eyes, “when you say you want to do something, I won’t refuse, nor do I want to force you to do anything. Including when you say you don’t want to see a doctor, I think you have your thoughts, your reasons.”

“…”

Xie Ru He raised his hand to scratch his hair: “There’s also an element of not knowing what to do. I just feel that doing things the way you want might make you a little happier, make things a little better for you.”

His tone, more than directly scolding her, made Shu Nian feel at a loss. She didn’t know how to respond and could only lower her head to hear Xie Ru He finishes speaking.

Xie Ru He chose his words carefully and continued: “It’s the same this time.”

Shu Nian played with her fingers: “What?”

“I hope you can see a psychologist,” Xie Ru He’s expression was very serious, “but if you don’t want to go, I won’t force you. And, I’m not going to leave you.”

Shu Nian looked up, her expression stunned.

Before, even though Deng Qing Yu had never shown any weariness or intolerance in front of her, because of Wang Hao’s presence, Shu Nian would still feel like a burden.

During extremely desperate and painful times, Shu Nian had even thought that if on the day of that disaster, when Zeng Yuan Xue caught her, she had chosen to die because she couldn’t bear it, would things have been better?

Then she wouldn’t have to live like this, and wouldn’t burden her mother.

She wouldn’t make Deng Qing Yu, who now had a new family, argue with her husband day and night because of her, stay awake all night because of her, and suffer tears because of her.

At that time.

Every day when Shu Nian woke up, all she saw were heavy curtains, tightly closed doors, three fixed locks, solid and heavy, like a dense gloom that couldn’t be dispersed.

She never thought about pulling open that curtain to see if it was night outside or a sunny day with the sun hanging. She lived in a daze, not knowing what was happening outside, listless and gloomy.

She never thought she could get better.

She just wanted to live, but lived reluctantly and painfully, feeling that this life probably wouldn’t last long. Perhaps one day, she would choose a sunny day to bid farewell to this world.

That was roughly what her life was like.

But she never imagined.

One day, she would meet a person.

Who would rescue her from the abyss in her darkest time, soothe her wounds one by one? And even regard her, who was a burden, as a treasure.

Shu Nian asked hesitantly: “Do you want me to go?”

Xie Ru He said: “Yes.”

“Oh.” Shu Nian sniffled, obediently saying: “Then I’ll go.”

Xie Ru He breathed a sigh of relief, then suddenly thought of something: “You don’t need to ask your aunt for money.”

Shu Nian silently took out her phone, opened the bank app to check her balance, and then made a sound of agreement without much confidence.

Xie Ru He said: “Use mine.”

Hearing this, Shu Nian immediately shook her head: “No.”

Xie Ru He frowned: “Why not?”

“I don’t know how long the treatment will take, and the cost isn’t low.” Shu Nian’s eyelashes trembled lightly as she mumbled, “I can sell the house…”

Xie Ru He thought for a moment, roughly understanding her meaning: “Do you think I can’t afford it?”

Shu Nian was startled by his words and quickly waved her hands: “No, no.”

As if not hearing her denial, Xie Ru He turned his head to stare at her for a few tens of seconds, then promised: “I’ll work hard.”

“…” Shu Nian was cowed by his serious appearance and responded slowly, “Okay.”

Xie Ru He curved his lips, unable to resist patting her head.

Soon, Shu Nian realized something was wrong. She frowned, explaining very seriously, as rigid as a little old man: “I think this is a lot of money, I can’t let you pay so much for me.”

Xie Ru He thought for a moment: “Then just treat it as your own money.”

Shu Nian’s expression was stubborn: “But this is your money.”

“It will be yours in the future.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because we’ll get married in the future.” Xie Ru He lowered his eyes to look at her, his Adam’s apple moving up and down, then said, “So you can think of it as using your future money in advance.”

“…”

Shu Nian immediately lost the mood to reason with him.

Her attention was entirely on his previous sentence, her expression blank. After a while, Shu Nian softly said “Oh” and her face looked very calm: “Okay.”

Silence.

After some time, Shu Nian suddenly dove under the blanket, hiding herself completely.

Xie Ru He had spoken impulsively and was now at a loss because of what he had said. Noticing Shu Nian’s action, his gaze paused, and he stiffly asked: “What’s wrong?”

Shu Nian didn’t respond.

Xie Ru He pressed his lips together and asked again.

Still no response.

He shifted his position, about to continue asking when suddenly.

The person under the blanket suddenly spoke up, her voice sounding muffled: “Could you give some kind of warning before saying these things in the future, like a high-intensity warning or something…”

Xie Ru He said: “Hmm?”

“Otherwise I’ll, you know, just.” Shu Nian peeked out from under the blanket with just her eyes showing, speaking slowly, “You might not notice, but I get a bit… embarrassed.”

“…”

Xie Ru He was taken aback, his nervous emotions dissipating. He curved his eyes, reached out to touch her eyes, and chuckled softly: “Yes, it’s not very noticeable.”

Xie Ru He asked for Shu Nian’s opinion and ultimately didn’t change psychologists.

Although Shu Nian had said that, she also clearly knew it wasn’t the psychologist’s problem; a large part was that she couldn’t come out of the shadow. Wang Yue had always done well and also understood her situation; they got along very well.

And changing doctors would also mean a period of adjustment with the new doctor.

Shu Nian had no intention of changing psychologists.

After thinking it through, Shu Nian expertly called to make an appointment.

The next afternoon, she went out with Xie Ru He. It had been several days since she had stepped outside the house, but perhaps because of Xie Ru He’s presence, Shu Nian felt it wasn’t as frightening as she had imagined.

Shu Nian was led by Xie Ru He, making small talk: “The few times I saw you at the hospital before, I was there for psychological therapy.”

Xie Ru He nodded: “Have you been recent?”

Shu Nian thought back and honestly said: “It seems like I haven’t been for a few months because I didn’t have time, and since it wasn’t affecting my life, I also forgot about going.”

Xie Ru He’s expression was thoughtful: “Is there a fixed time?”

“Yes.” Shu Nian said, “Usually Thursday mornings because I have to go to the recording studio in the afternoon and evening. If I have time, I might switch to the afternoon because I want to sleep in.”

“…”

“Later it changed to the 6th of every month.”

Xie Ru He seemed to be doing something very important, noting it down seriously: “I’ll remind you in the future.”

Shu Nian looked up at him, watching him earnestly recording things in his phone’s notepad. She thought for a moment and strangely brought up a topic: “Did you like me before?”

Xie Ru He said: “Yes.”

Shu Nian was somewhat curious: “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

Hearing this, Xie Ru He’s hand movement stopped, and he turned his head to look at her. He thought about the scene if he had told her then, and the possible results.

His lips straightened, and he honestly said: “If I had told you, you would have scolded me.”