Water for washing had already been prepared, warmed by a double-layer charcoal heater beneath, still faintly emitting steam.
Qing Xia pushed open the door and found the courtyard completely quiet. Frowning slightly, she called out softly, “Zhiyan?”
Still only silence met her—no one answered. Qing Xia’s heart began to panic, her voice rising, “Zhiyan, where are you?”
She ran to Bi’er and Qing’er’s room, which was also spotlessly clean. Even their usual grooming boxes were gone. She suddenly felt her mind go blank, the woman’s complexion growing increasingly pale. She kept shaking her head, saying repeatedly, “It can’t be, nothing’s wrong.”
She frantically ran to Lian Zhou’s room and kicked the door open with one foot. Inside was empty—no one, not a trace of warmth, even the swords were gone. The carriage from the stable had disappeared too, and Qin Zhiyan’s warhorse was also missing. Only her own black horse stood there alone, just like her.
She seemed to understand something, yet was unwilling to believe it. She shook her head repeatedly, saying softly, “Maybe they went out. They wouldn’t just leave like that. Right, maybe they went to Ruyun Restaurant for dinner.”
She nimbly mounted her horse, gave a loud shout, and charged out the courtyard gate, racing swiftly through the long streets. Finally reaching Ruyun Restaurant, Qing Xia stumbled inside and crashed directly into Cheng Xiao.
The cheerful woman was quite shocked to see her and exclaimed, “How did you come back? Aren’t you leaving anymore?”
“Where is he?” Qing Xia gripped Cheng Xiao’s collar tightly, like grasping at the last straw for survival, breathing heavily as she said, “Where is he? He’s upstairs drinking tea, right? Listening to the storyteller tell tales, right?”
Cheng Xiao said in surprise, “Didn’t you all leave early this morning? I saw them go through the city gate with my own eyes. What, you didn’t go with them?”
“Through the city gate, through the city gate,” Qing Xia could barely breathe. She was breathing violently, her entire body ice-cold as if falling into an icy abyss. She gripped Cheng Xiao forcefully, saying continuously, “Which city gate? Where did they go? Which city gate?”
The woman’s face was pale, almost bloodless. Cheng Xiao said helplessly, “It was the north gate—they went north.”
“North gate, north gate.” Qing Xia released Cheng Xiao with a jerk, staggered out, climbed onto her horse’s back, and chased toward the northern city gate.
Night gradually fell. Beyond Pengyang’s north gate stretched an empty wilderness with withered grass and cold moonlight. The woman in light blue robes sat on horseback, looking around bewildered. The world was terrifyingly vast while she was pitifully small. The roads led in all directions, yet she didn’t know which way to go. She stared foolishly at the roads in all four directions, biting her lips pitifully, her heart nearly crushed to pieces.
Where should she go? Which direction should she take?
Qin Zhiyan, how could you bear it? How could you bear to abandon me like this? How could you bring yourself to leave me alone and depart by yourself? You always think this is good for me, but without you by my side, what meaning is there in my living? How can you be so heartless? How can you be so heartless?
Qing Xia’s tears finally fell line after line. The warhorse whinnied low and mournfully, turning back bewildered to look at its master.
Qin Zhiyan, the world is so vast—where should I go to find you? I have no home, no family, I have nothing. You want me to live alone in this empty, desolate world—is that your mercy toward me?
Qin Zhiyan, Qin Zhiyan, where are you? Where are you?
Early the next morning, when Cheng Xiao opened her shop door, she saw Qing Xia standing at her entrance like a wooden person, completely dispirited. Her clothes were so thin, her complexion pale as if she had died. Cheng Xiao was greatly alarmed and pulled her into the shop, washing a warm towel to apply to her face.
“When he left, he gave me a letter, saying that if anyone came looking for him in the future, I should give the letter to that person. I originally thought you had left together, and the letter was entrusted to me to give to someone else. Now it seems it was meant for you.”
A clean letter was placed in Qing Xia’s hands. The originally numb woman was immediately startled and hurriedly tore open the letter. Opening it, she saw elegant, graceful handwriting faintly written on fragrant white paper—clearly written by that man. The characters were neat, the language peaceful. As Qing Xia read, tears suddenly began to fall.
“Yima’er, I finally received news about the Shangqiu clan. Perhaps there’s hope for treating my illness. I’m going. If I can be cured, I will return to find you. You said last night that no matter what happens, we shouldn’t give up easily. So you must also live well. Yan.”
That day, Qing Xia sat there for a long time. The sky darkened and gradually brightened again before she slowly stood up and returned to that residence.
Every corner of the room seemed to still hold that man’s shadow. She stood at the doorway, not daring to step inside, feeling as if Qin Zhiyan might walk out of that room with a gentle smile, looking at her, or perhaps Lian Zhou, Qing’er and the others would suddenly pop out, laughing loudly saying they had finally fooled her.
She swore that if it were really like that, she definitely wouldn’t be angry, wouldn’t scold them, and certainly wouldn’t strike them.
Unfortunately, in the end, there was nothing. The courtyard was so quiet, everything exactly as she had left it—even the door remained wide open as before.
Qing Xia entered the room, simply packed up her clothes and belongings, then locked the door and led her horse back to Ruyun Restaurant. Cheng Xiao stood at the entrance, seeming to wait for her. Seeing her return, she hurried forward worriedly and said, “I thought you had run off somewhere. Don’t worry—Young Master Yan isn’t someone who speaks carelessly. He will definitely return.”
Qing Xia smiled gently, placed the residence keys in Cheng Xiao’s hands, smiled slightly, and said, “Cheng Xiao, thank you. I’m leaving. Please help me keep watch over things.”
Cheng Xiao held that string of keys, biting her lips with an uncomfortable feeling, and said, “Where are you going?”
Qing Xia raised her head. Her petite body looked so strong. The night painted smooth curves on her face, and even the moonlight seemed forlorn. She suddenly smiled slightly and said softly, “My husband has left. I’m going to find him and bring him back.”
“The world is so big—do you know where to look for him?”
Qing Xia shook her head but still said resolutely, “No matter how big the world is, there’s no place two legs can’t reach. He is my husband. No matter if he goes to the ends of the earth, I will find him.”
“Cheng Xiao,” Qing Xia suddenly turned around, looked at her with a gentle smile, and said softly, “I’m sorry—I’ve been deceiving you all along. My surname isn’t Xia, it’s Zhuang. My name is Qing Xia. I’m going now to find that man called Qin Zhiyan. Someday, I will bring him back, so please help me watch over our home.”
Cheng Xiao was startled, her mouth slightly open, stunned speechless.
By the time she came to her senses, that lonely figure had already walked far, far away. Cold moonlight shone on her body, making her appear so cold and solitary. A cold wind blew, lifting her long cloak like a broken butterfly.
No matter the ends of the earth, I will always find you and bring you back.
The vast, boundless desert stretched endlessly. Looking around, everywhere was golden yellow with not a blade of grass growing. The sun hung viciously overhead, its light blindingly bright like a huge fireball. The air seemed frozen solid. Occasionally wind blew, but it was scorching and searing, raising yellow sand everywhere, whistling as it struck faces with sharp pain. Over one sand dune lay another—the journey was long, seeming never to end. On the golden sand dunes, a camel caravan was slowly walking. Everyone was listless, and even the camels beneath them seemed unable to bear such intense heat, losing the stubbornness of ships of the desert.
A burly man in the group suddenly spat with disgust, ejecting saliva yellow with sand. The man roughly wiped his mouth and angrily shouted, “Damn it, how much longer until we can get out? If this continues, we’ll be roasted to death before we die of thirst.”
“If you have energy to complain, you might as well walk a few more steps.” A young voice suddenly rang out. A young man, at most in his early twenties, sat on a camel. His face was quite handsome with a healthy complexion. He wore an orange-colored long robe, not in the style of the central lands but rather with a northern flavor.
The burly man, rebuked by his indifferent scolding, immediately changed expression and angrily said, “Don’t think you can boss me around just because you paid money. If I die in this desert, I’ll kill you first!”
The man seemed completely unconcerned, only snorting coldly and saying lightly, “So this is the kind of trash in the Luya Trading Guild—going back on your word, your reputation worth less than a pile of dog shit. If I die at your hands, I can only blame myself for being blind enough to choose to trust you.”
“What did you say?”
“Second Brother!” The burly man flew into rage and was about to charge forward when he was suddenly held back by a man in his forties beside him. That man turned around and said to the young man, “Brother Longge, my brother Baru speaks without thinking. Please don’t take offense.”
The man surnamed Longge laughed coldly and said, “Captain Zhaba, you must control your own brother well. It would be easy for you to kill me, but destroying decades of reputation would be simple too. If I can’t return to the northern frontier, do you think anyone will do business with you in the future?”
Captain Zhaba nodded with a smile and said, “Brother Longge is thoughtful. I naturally know how to conduct business.”
“Big Brother!”
“Shut up!” Captain Zhaba shouted coldly, then turned to Young Master Longge with a slight frown, saying quietly, “Brother Longge, is what that woman said really correct? This area is the land of death—even our guild is entering for the first time. Rumors say this place has entry but no exit. Are we really trusting her and following her?”
Longge’s gaze also became somewhat hesitant. He raised his head to look at the thin but straight-backed white figure walking at the very front. The hot desert wind blew past, lifting her white garments like dancing butterfly wings. After a long time, he suddenly nodded heavily and said, “I trust her!”