They went out again halfway through, and the living room was in disarray. Several boys were sprawled haphazardly on the carpet, drunk and barely conscious. Zhu Yangqi was still smacking his lips occasionally, savoring the lingering taste. Gu Yan sat alone on the sofa, smoking, while Da Zhuang sang melancholic love songs with a gloomy air.
The two of them were kissing inside when Gu Yan sent him a WeChat message, perhaps sensing something.
GuGu: Chen Luzhou, I’m leaving. Won’t you see me off? It’s 2 AM.
A second later, the bedroom door opened. As she watched them walk out together, Gu Yan felt an indescribable pain in her heart. The anxious, pounding heart she had felt all evening seemed to sink to the bottom as if suddenly weighed down by a heavy stone. She still held a cigarette between her fingers, and her long, slender hand trembled slightly. The ash that had been clinging to the half-smoked cigarette fell onto her leg, burning a small hole in her flesh-colored stockings. She didn’t even notice, her gaze fixed blankly on Chen Luzhou.
Chen Luzhou walked over, casually picked up an unopened bottle of mineral water from the coffee table, twisted it open, and handed it to Xu Zhi behind him. Standing tall, he then looked down at Gu Yan and asked, “Shall I call a car for you?”
He was quite easy-going and polite, but Gu Yan always felt he was arrogant. When he looked at people, his eyes were as sharp as a knife, and his intelligence was unmistakable. She never dared to play games in front of him because he was always straightforward and never spared anyone’s feelings.
At that moment, Gu Yan felt deep down that she might never meet someone like him again. She extinguished her cigarette discreetly, not even bothering to ask about their relationship. There was a hint of defiance and challenge in her voice as she blurted out the words, perhaps wanting to see Xu Zhi’s reaction.
“Chen Luzhou, if I said I’d wait for you—”
But she was suddenly interrupted by Zhu Yangqi, who had just woken up—
“What’s up? Are you leaving?” he asked groggily, scratching his head.
Chen Luzhou grunted in affirmation and took out his phone to call a car. “I’ve called a car. Can you help me see her off?”
“Sure.” Zhu Yangqi was quite loyal. He got up immediately, but he was at the bottom of the pile and didn’t know how many feet were on top of him. The stench was overwhelming. He kicked them off one by one, without mercy.
As a result, everyone woke up. Jiang Cheng and Feng Jin also got up groggily, scratching their heads. “Is it dawn? Is it time for breakfast?”
“Damn, now that you mention it, I’m a bit hungry,” Zhu Yangqi said, clutching his stomach.
Within a couple of minutes, they changed their minds. The group decided to go out and continue their gathering. As luck would have it, there was a night tour event in the city that day. There were still many people on the streets at two or three in the morning. They went to Chen Luzhou’s usual place, which happened to be the seafood and bone barbeque restaurant where Xu Zhi had first treated Chen Luzhou to a meal.
Everything seemed to have come full circle. The carousel waiting chairs at the entrance were empty, and the musical fountain had been turned off. At that moment, the entire street seemed exceptionally quiet, the night scene desolate. They knew that tomorrow the sun would rise as usual, and this place would return to its usual bustle, but it seemed to fit the current scene.
This was probably truly the last meal together, so the atmosphere was inevitably somber and oppressive. They ate without much enthusiasm, so the faint clanking of plates and utensils was particularly noticeable. It was like the end of a grand feast when everyone was full, and the waiters had started clearing the tables. Yet no one here put down their chopsticks or suggested leaving. They just dragged it out until the last moment, until the sky gradually began to lighten with the fish-belly white of dawn.
Only then did they realize that the sun would always rise.
“Let’s have a toast,” Zhu Yangqi said, his eyes red-rimmed. He sniffled lightly, wiped his eyes with his arm, then raised his glass high, as if this would prevent others from seeing his reddened eyes.
“Cheers.”
“Cheers.”
Zhu Yangqi’s throat tightened. The alcohol had never tasted so bitter and hard to swallow. He rolled it around in his mouth before finally managing to speak: “Cao once told me something. He said that all Chinese boys should have a certain spirit, a spirit that can’t be dispersed by wind or extinguished by rain. As long as there’s a spark nearby, even if there’s no wind, we can reignite hope. I think this saying boosts morale. I’d like to dedicate it to all the boys here. In the future, even if your friends aren’t by your side, don’t cry when you face difficulties. Learn to bear them.”
“Speak for yourself,” Jiang Cheng interjected with a laugh, though his eyes were also glistening with tears. He reached for the cigarette pack on the table, found it empty, and tossed it back, cursing before continuing, “You’re the only one among us who cries. As for me, I wish those who sell paintings success in selling paintings, those who act success in acting, and those who study success in studying. As for myself, I hope Hang Sui and I can have a happy ending. I want to marry her. I heard that getting married in our junior year can earn extra credits at our school.”
“Jiang Cheng always knows what to say. Well then, I wish everyone finds someone who truly understands them soon,” Feng Jin said.
Da Zhuang let out a long sigh. His face was flushed from drinking, and he was still peeling peanuts. “That’s the hardest thing of all. Selling a painting for a million yuan each? I feel that’s bound to happen sooner or later, maybe after I’m dead. But finding someone who truly understands me? I feel like I might never find that person, even till the day I die.”
“It doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic love. I think the cleaning lady just now understood you pretty well. Look, you just waved your hand, and she came over to clear your trash. When she swept her broom over, you knew to lift your feet. That’s real understanding.”
“…”
The barbeque restaurant was almost empty now, with only their table left. Perhaps it was this uninhibited youthful spirit that moved people. Even the owner, who was nodding off at the cash register, didn’t chase them away despite being exhausted.
“Cao, say something.”
Everyone turned to look at him in unison. Gu Yan, hearing this, also looked up. She had just typed a long message to Chen Luzhou on her phone but hadn’t sent it. She put down her phone, wanting to hear what he had to say.
He and that girl were sitting side by side in chairs on the same side. Chen Luzhou was leaning back, one hand lazily draped over the back of Xu Zhi’s chair, the other resting on the table, gently rubbing the side of his glass. He had only left twice during the evening – once to get chopsticks for Xu Zhi, and once to get her a napkin.
She had just heard Zhu Yangqi say that Xu Zhi’s boyfriend was very handsome. Was it that she had a boyfriend, or was Chen Luzhou her boyfriend? But one thing Gu Yan understood well was that if a man and a woman didn’t publicly acknowledge their relationship at a gathering like this, they were probably just friends with benefits at most.
She couldn’t imagine Chen Luzhou, being so cold and arrogant, would be anyone’s friend with benefits. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with him? So she had written a long message on her phone, wanting to ask him where exactly she fell short. But before she could send it, someone asked Chen Luzhou to say a few words.
What a bunch of sentimental fools.
Chen Luzhou didn’t have much to say. In situations like this, it was better to be a listener. The more you speak, the more likely you are to make mistakes. If he upset Xu Zhi, he wouldn’t have time to comfort her. He rubbed the side of his glass, thought for a long time, and then casually threw out a quote—
“Let me borrow a line from Mr. Liang Qichao: ‘Though there be a thousand years, though there be eight corners of the world. The future is like the sea, and the days ahead are long.'”
“Then let’s toast to the long days ahead.”
“Xu Zhi, Gu Yan, what about you?”
Xu Zhi originally had nothing to say, but these sentimental fools really wouldn’t let anyone off.
She leaned back in her chair, her hair completely loose down her back. It had been tied up earlier, but after kissing him, she couldn’t find her hair tie, so she just left it down. The hair at her temples looked a bit messy, giving her an air of lazy casualness. Her delicate features were like a wild lily in a quiet mountain valley, unrestrained.
“Then I hope that Chinese girls will have higher ambitions. After all, there’s vast land beneath our feet, and there are still many places we haven’t been to.”
Gu Yan was suddenly struck by these words. The confidence and fearless honesty in Xu Zhi’s eyes were indeed strangely attractive. She could also hear that Xu Zhi’s words were not meant to be difficult or provocative towards her, but rather a sincere piece of advice.
“Then I hope to achieve financial freedom through selling my paintings soon,” Gu Yan said.
The small beer bottles clinked together hastily and clumsily as if they were ushering in the dawn and ending this hasty youth. Outside, the sky was already bright, and breakfast shops were gradually opening up.
People started to leave one by one.
It seemed that midsummer had just begun. The new short-sleeved shirts bought that summer hadn’t even been worn yet, and they had to say goodbye to people they had just met.
Finally, only Chen Luzhou and Xu Zhi were left standing at the entrance of the barbeque restaurant.
The owner was closing up, and behind them, the automatic rolling iron door was slowly descending with a creaking sound. Yi Feng Lane was mostly old houses, and as far as the eye could see, there was a row of low, flat buildings, worn with age. Because Qingyi City was often plagued by wind and rain year-round, every alley was covered in moss, and there was a fishy, damp smell seeping through the cracks in the stone slabs.
The two of them leaned against the telephone pole at the entrance, one on each side. Behind them, because it was so early, all the shops were tightly closed, giving the street a desolate appearance.
The telephone pole was covered in small advertisements, layer upon layer, some half-torn but still clinging on.
Qingyi City was also very small, so small that a lost dog poster on a random telephone pole by the roadside showed a dog named Lucy. Xu Zhi, still wearing Chen Luzhou’s jacket, leaned carelessly against the telephone pole with her shoulder, pointing at the half-torn lost dog poster, and said cheekily, “Hey, Chen Luzhou, how did you get lost?”
Chen Luzhou turned to look at the lost dog poster, where a charming Siberian Husky CEO was smiling alluringly. He turned back, unfazed: “That’s nothing. Once I heard a rich woman call her bag ‘cy’ while playing mahjong. I was already used to it by then.”
Xu Zhi suggested: “Or you could change your name to ‘cy’. Guaranteed no one else will have the same name.”
“I’m afraid people might think you’re stuttering,” he said, leaning back. Then he remembered something and added, “But I did try to use it once when playing games with Zhu Yangqi. It was already taken.”
Xu Zhi realized she had never played games with him and asked curiously, “What’s your game name?”
“Oh, I have many. ‘Universe’s Most Handsome’, ‘World’s Greatest Lover’, and so on.”
Xu Zhi: “…”
They fell silent for a while. The sky gradually brightened, and the surroundings became increasingly noisy. The air had been quite crisp these past few days after the rain, but for some reason, their eyes still felt misty.
Chen Luzhou was now leaning against the other side of the telephone pole, the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, both hands still motionless in his pockets. Looking at the pancake stand set up not far away, where the pancake seller was enthusiastically chatting with an acquaintance, he asked lazily without turning his head, “Qingyi is so small. If we run into each other on the street in the future, will you pretend not to know me?”
Xu Zhi thought for a moment and said, “It’s not that small. We’ve lived here for over a decade, and except for that one time in our first year of high school, we never ran into each other, right? Besides, you didn’t even know.”
“How do you know I never saw you,” Chen Luzhou said, the back of his head resting against the telephone pole, his face almost completely hidden under the hood of his sweatshirt like a faceless man. His prominent Adam’s apple moved slightly, clearly swallowing twice. “I should think carefully. I must have seen you before. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have felt this way the first time I saw you.”
The street was gradually becoming more crowded. Xu Zhi watched as the street came to life, with various breakfast stalls setting up, and selling pancakes and soup. It looked quite hard work, but the smiles on their faces were touching. She asked, “Chen Luzhou, do you think money can buy happiness?”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “I don’t know about others, but if given the chance, I think you’d probably want to exchange happiness for money, right?”
Xu Zhi couldn’t help but laugh. “Can you not understand me so well?”
“It goes both ways.”
“You know what a philosopher once said? That love might be a kind of mental illness,” Xu Zhi said.
“Isn’t it? When you’re thinking about someone, thinking so much you can’t even eat, it does seem quite sick,” Chen Luzhou replied.
The two of them leaned on opposite sides, as if back to back, with a telephone pole between them. Behind them, the street scene was bustling with ordinary life. A hint of red light from the setting sun appeared on the mountain peak. The wind and rain in Qingyi had never stopped.
Xu Zhi was silent for a while, but finally sighed and said softly, “So this is where we end.”
Chen Luzhou hadn’t changed his posture at all. He was still leaning against the telephone pole, his hoodie covering half his face. He let out a low, resigned “Mm” and said, “What you said was quite right. Have higher ambitions. Not everyone can pursue you. Your future boyfriend’s standards should at least be based on me.”
Xu Zhi took off his jacket and returned it to him. “Chen Luzhou, let’s both move forward.”
We shouldn’t stop our progress for anyone.
“Mm.”
“So, goodbye.”
Just as she was about to take a step, Chen Luzhou called out to her. He didn’t turn around, still leaning against the telephone pole with his head down. His voice was indescribably hoarse and dry. “Xu Zhi, can I hug you?”
After all those kisses, you’ve never really hugged me.
Despite staying up all night, both their bodies were still warm. When Xu Zhi hugged him, she felt how solid, sturdy, and broad he was, like a warm wall. She probably wouldn’t meet another boy like this in the future.
There probably won’t be anyone like Chen Luzhou again. His emotions were clear and honest. He never hid his love or hate. His hair was as soft as a dog’s, but his heart was steel. One touch of sunlight, and became scorching hot.
**
When Chen Luzhou returned to his rented room, he saw the note Xu Zhi had left for him—
I hope that in the days ahead without me, your world will still shine brightly, with endless flowers and applause. As long as the rain in Qingyi keeps falling and dogs keep wagging their tails, there will always be someone who loves you.
—Xu Zhi.