Half an hour ago, the room was dark, with the curtains tightly drawn. They stood in front of the mirror, Chen Luzhou looking down at her with deep, cold eyes. Within them flickered the determined light of youth, carrying a hint of finality. He wanted to push their relationship to either extreme, preferring that to the daily torment and uncertainty.
After their argument on the basketball court that afternoon, Xu Zhi had turned and left. Chen Luzhou felt truly at a loss with her. This girl never yielded; if he was stubborn, she was even more so. Her pride left him helpless and at his wit’s end. He had said the harshest words, yet she always maintained an air of indifference. Even their arguments lacked satisfaction. The game had finished long ago, and he had stayed alone on the court for about two hours more. As he picked up his jacket to leave, he admitted to himself that he was outmatched and resolved to end things with her. Later, when Zhu Yangqi called him, he shamelessly thought, “Damn it, one last time.”
Outside, the sound of rolling wheels broke the silence. The room was so quiet that he could hear nothing but his own nervous, suffocating heartbeat. Until an ambulance stopped downstairs, its siren wailing continuously.
In the dim room, the floor lamp cast a feeble light, like dying embers or the fading glow of a firefly’s tail, nearly exhausting his patience.
Xu Zhi leaned against the mirror and asked him nonchalantly, “What if I choose to sleep with you?”
“Then it can only be once. There won’t be a third time. If you don’t want a boyfriend, we’ll pretend not to know each other at school from now on—”
Before he could finish, Xu Zhi kissed him without warning. The ambulance’s sound faded into the distance, and silence returned. Every tiny noise seemed to tread on their hearts, tense and exhilarating.
She hooked one arm around his neck and used the other to untie the drawstring of his sweatpants. Chen Luzhou didn’t stop her. At that moment, his heart was full of disappointment, yet he felt helpless. His entire body burned, his heart raced anxiously, and his throat was dry and rough. He closed his eyes, gripped the back of her head tightly, and pulled her close. Lowering his head, his tongue moved with unprecedented intensity as he kissed her without restraint.
After a passionate bout of kissing, Chen Luzhou suddenly remembered, “I don’t have protection.”
Xu Zhi, breathless, glanced at the bedside table, “There’s some over there.”
Standing before the mirror, Chen Luzhou released her, gave her a look, and coldly gestured toward the single bed with his chin. “Wait for me on the bed. I’ll go buy some.”
“Who uses hotel condoms?” he added as he turned to open the door.
“…”
When he returned, Xu Zhi was obediently waiting for him on the bed. The room was still dark, lit only by a dim yellow floor lamp that cast a soft, warm glow on her figure on the bed.
Xu Zhi’s features were pure, with a round face and round eyes that always made her look harmless. Yet her figure was the most alluring kind. She wore a thin, form-fitting sweater and a pair of slim gray pencil pants. Her long, straight legs dangled over the edge of the bed, boots, and socks were removed and placed nearby. Her long, slender toes were pale and lazily curled in the air. She leaned against the headboard, engrossed in her phone, typing rapidly. Her usually dismissive and sharp eyes now looked serious and sincere, as if writing an essay. Her toes occasionally curled and uncurled absent-mindedly.
Seeing him enter, she instinctively locked her phone, tossed it on the bedside table, and pulled the blanket around herself.
Chen Luzhou locked the door and walked towards her without a word. He casually tossed the items on the bedside table, yanked her foot to pull her down, and leaned over her, hands on either side of her head, kissing her silently.
Xu Zhi wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged at his shirt. Chen Luzhou knelt on the bed, following her hands to pull his sweatshirt over his head. His clean, thin muscles were vibrant and youthful, stirring her heart into a frenzy. Finally, Xu Zhi sat up to kiss his ear and neck.
Chen Luzhou tossed his shirt aside carelessly, not minding where it landed. He reached for the items on the bedside table, casually opening the package while kneeling on the bed, allowing her to kiss him recklessly.
In the dim room, only the sound of him tearing the wrapper could be heard. Neither spoke. His eyes remained cold and dark throughout as if he didn’t want to say a word to her. Chen Luzhou took one out and threw the rest back on the bedside table, then pulled her waist and rolled her into the blanket.
…
When Chen Luzhou went to shower, he picked up the clothes from the floor and tossed them onto the nearby sofa. Xu Zhi refused to shower, saying she’d do it after he left. She lay on the bed, playing with her phone.
As soon as he went in, Xu Zhi quietly reached for her phone, wrapped herself in the blanket, rolled over on the bed, and continued typing what she hadn’t finished earlier. Her forehead was sweaty, and her hands were still shaking slightly. Chen Luzhou had been restrained and gentle, just inexperienced.
At the time, Xu Zhi’s scalp had been tingling, her back numb, and her blood rushing. Now, as she calmed down, she felt a bit unsatisfied.
When Chen Luzhou emerged from the shower, wearing only a white T-shirt and sweatpants, Xu Zhi had finished sending her messages and was curled up in the blanket.
The room was dim, curtains drawn, with only the small floor lamp casting a faint light. Their shadows looked long and ambiguous. Outside, the sound of rolling wheels could still be heard, and occasionally, doors opening and closing in the corridor. Otherwise, the night was calm and peaceful.
Chen Luzhou stood at the bedside and tidied up, while Xu Zhi hid under the blanket. They gazed at each other silently in the room. Finally, both smiled and looked away, amused by this wordless understanding.
Chen Luzhou dropped the sweatshirt he was about to put on and sat on the edge of the bed, legs sprawled lazily. One hand rested casually between his legs, while the other reached out to pinch Xu Zhi’s cheeks teasingly. His tone was flippant: “Got what you wanted? Happy now?”
Xu Zhi, wrapped softly in the blanket with only her face visible, let her eyes wander over him without responding. Instead, she asked, “Were you tired from playing basketball today?”
How could he not be tired? He had played a full game, forty minutes. But it wasn’t really about the game. Thirty-some minutes wasn’t bad.
Chen Luzhou pinched harder, looking at her coldly. “Provoking me won’t work. There won’t be a third time.”
Xu Zhi pointed at the scattered items on the bedside table, her eyes clear as she asked, “Then what about these?”
Chen Luzhou slowly withdrew his hand, glanced at them, and started putting on his shoes. He said lightly, “Keep them as a memento.”
Xu Zhi hummed in agreement, pointing at the items. “After all, they were used by Chen Luzhou.”
By the time he had dressed and was ready to return to his dorm, Xu Zhi was showering. The sound of water hitting the floor echoed from the bathroom. He leaned against the wall by the bathroom door for a while, expressionless, pondering for some time before leaving without waiting for her to come out.
As he entered the elevator, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He didn’t pay much attention, assuming it was probably a WeChat Moments notification. He didn’t check it, instead crossing his arms and leaning against the elevator wall, casually pressing the G floor button. He encountered the young couple again, who seemed to recognize him and gave him a familiar look.
Just as he walked out of the hotel entrance, his WeChat notification sounded again. So he casually took out his phone to check, and upon seeing several previous messages, he stopped in his tracks. It was late at night, but there were still quite a few people on the street, with occasional cars passing by. Chen Luzhou stood coldly by the roadside, looking down at his phone, the wind rustling in his ears. He estimated the time; it must have been right after they finished, while he was in the shower.
Xu Zhi: “I promised you before that I’d write an 8,000-word essay if you spent money on me. Since I paid for tonight’s room, and Zhu Yangqi said you’d reimburse me, I guess you’ll probably go back to sleep after we’re done. So I’ll count it as an hourly rate, discount it a bit, and write a few hundred words for you to make do with. Can I make up the 8,000-word essay later?”
Xu Zhi: “I met your mom once during the summer break, but I never told you because you were about to go abroad. Don’t worry, she didn’t say anything harsh to me, nor did she try to write me a check. It’s a bit disappointing that your mom is a bit stingy, but from our conversation, I could tell she loves you very much. Every word she said was considering you. (If you want to know the details, I can include them in the future 8,000-word essay.) She said you’ve always been good, and everyone praises you, saying they adopted a good son. Her proud tone reminded me of that advertisement slogan – after all, not all milk is Telunsu, and not all adopted sons are as cool and charming as Chen Luzhou. But she said that in the days before you left for abroad, you argued with them in front of some relatives and friends at the villa, and some relatives said some unpleasant things. Then your mom said our feelings for each other were just impulsive. Don’t worry, I refuted her on this point right there, leaving her speechless. She was so angry she drank two cups of coffee and forgot to pay. But thinking about it later, we had only known each other for a month at that time, and the honeymoon period can indeed be impulsive. I was afraid you were acting on impulse, so I never asked if you could stay. I was also afraid that if I fanned the flames, you might fall out with your family because of a momentary impulse. Because I was afraid that after this phase passed, you might regret it when you found out that Xu Zhi wasn’t as good as you imagined. After all, I know how important parents are to us because I love my dad very much, even though he’s quite ordinary and sometimes weak. How much more so when your parents are so outstanding? So I didn’t dare call you during the summer break or tell you that I missed you. I don’t want you to gamble for me, nor do I want relatives to call you ungrateful.”
Xu Zhi: “Chen Luzhou, you might not understand me very well yet. But the more I understand you, the more I dare not speak up, because you’re too clean, without anything that people can criticize. But I think you’re also really a bit silly; when I talk about a puppy wagging its tail, you tell me the school director is your mom.”
Xu Zhi: “As my dad would say, we’ve only lived a quarter of our lives, and we haven’t even gotten over the urge to drink milk from childhood. It might be a bit early to talk about love. If I just wanted to date you casually, I could have said things more beautifully. I admit it would be romantic, but I want to go further with you. I’ve always felt that love should make people brave and invincible. Do you remember that exhibition you went to see in the summer? After we separated, I went to see it. That sculptor had already expressed the most tenacious love in the world vividly.”
Xu Zhi: “Let me express myself through this: If there was only one rose left in the world, I would still rush to the front in a wheelchair for you at eighty years old. After all, my boyfriend Chen Jiaojiao is a romantic little poet.”
Author’s note: About this last part:
Xu Zhi’s confession is subtle because there are still a few issues that she can’t express directly. If she were to say them outright, it wouldn’t be like her at all. So I’ve been pondering the wording of this part. Some content will be told to Chen Luzhou from other people’s perspectives. What Xu Zhi says herself here is relatively subtle, which is her personality. If it were too direct, it would be strange.