The night was quiet, with no extra sounds. The air conditioning hummed inside the room, causing a thin layer of condensation to form on the windows. The moonlight was hazy, making it difficult to discern the night’s colors.
Chen Luzhou woke up once in the middle of the night because someone had rolled into his arms while sleeping.
He tried to push her away, but after a short while, she rolled back. The girl’s cheeks were flushed, and she slept soundly. Seeming to notice being pushed away, she mumbled with her eyes closed, discontentedly, “Why won’t you let me hug you?”
It was so hot, yet she still clung to him. Such a clingy person.
Lying on his back, he helplessly draped his arm over his eyes, at a loss for what to do. He silently thought to himself, “This is driving me crazy,” and said in a muffled voice, “How am I supposed to sleep like this?”
“Stop complaining, Chen Luzhou,” she mumbled, oblivious and exhausted.
So he stopped moving, spending the rest of the night drifting in and out of sleep. It was unbearably difficult.
When they woke up in the morning, Xu Zhi was full of energy and wanted to continue their conversation from the previous night. Chen Luzhou buried his entire head in the pillow, motionless. His voice emerged from the pillow, tight with a hint of helpless laughter: “I’m warning you, don’t touch me right now.” Then, in a lazy voice, he added, “Help me grab a couple of tissues.”
Xu Zhi handed him the tissues, but when he didn’t move for a while, she made a motion to lift his blanket. “What are you being so awkward about? Did you wet the bed?”
He dodged her attempt, turning his head to the side while still lying down. He warned her again seriously, “If you don’t want to catch a fish, don’t touch me.”
Xu Zhi finally realized belatedly what he was being awkward about. “Let me see, is the flag raised?”
You know a lot, don’t you?
As soon as she finished speaking, he suddenly embraced her tightly, pressing her beneath him. His breathing was rapid and heavy, hot against her ear, swirling into her ear canal and making her dizzy with the heat.
Her heart instantly began to pound like a drum in her chest, neither rising nor falling. Her hand was suddenly grabbed and pinned beneath her.
“Don’t tease. Just lie still, I’ll take care of it myself.”
His eyes were still drowsy, hazy with sleep, and his whole body was full of languor. Yet his hands moved skillfully and effortlessly.
…
Xu Zhi obediently lay beneath him, her gaze direct and relaxed as she looked up, admiring her boyfriend taking care of himself. She curiously asked, “Once a day?”
Chen Luzhou propped himself up with one hand on her pillow, looking down at her. The spark in his eyes was barely contained, and for once, he didn’t hide his arousal. But her sudden, blunt question made him laugh despite himself. “Can you not ask that?”
“I’m just curious, okay?”
“I know you’re curious, but can we keep some things mysterious?”
“Can you hurry up then?”
“Don’t rush me, okay?”
“Okay?” She decided to imitate his way of speaking.
“Not okay.” The young man was spirited and quite principled.
The two of them bantered back and forth with “Okay?” and “Okay,” trying to ease their awkwardness in the face of desire. Neither was willing to back down, gritting their teeth and competing, which only exposed their inexperience more clearly. Both of their ears were tinged red, standing out starkly against the white sheets. It was like the morning light peeking through the gaps in the forest trees, more vivid than flowers, more delicate than trees – obscure yet beautiful.
*
By the time they returned to school in the afternoon, the snow had already been cleared. It was piled tightly into a small snow mountain on the side of the road, with several oddly shaped snowmen built nearby.
Xu Zhi remembered her high school days when boys would stuff snowballs into girls’ clothes during class. One girl was too timid to tell the teacher and ended up sitting through an entire lesson soaking wet. She caught a cold three days later.
As they stood at the entrance of the dormitory building, with people coming and going around them, she was telling him about her high school experiences. Halfway through, he lowered his head and looked at her with furrowed brows, asking, “No one stuffed snow in your clothes, right?”
“They wouldn’t dare. I was the class monitor. If they tried, I would have beaten them up. I used to be quite violent,” Xu Zhi said.
Chen Luzhou laughed and casually scooped up a handful of snow from the edge of the flowerbed. He slowly shaped it into a ball in his palm and said, “I can’t tell. I always felt like you don’t get angry easily. In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you get angry, except for that time when I wouldn’t let you kiss me. Even when we argued, you just left without a word. It seems like you have a habit of hiding or ignoring your emotions.”
Xu Zhi watched him shaping the snow, thinking to herself how big men’s hands were. “How did you notice that?” she asked.
“Did I need to notice?” He laughed and scooped up another handful of snow, continuing to shape it. “We’ve known each other for almost half a year now. I understand you a bit. Remember the first day we met? You were standing with Tan Xu under my building. He had done poorly on his exam, and I could tell you were trying hard to comfort him, but your empathy skills were too low to connect. Later, when we broke up…”
“At the telephone pole,” he cleared his throat, correcting his choice of words, “You were so rational. I couldn’t tell how reluctant you were to let me go. At the time, I thought you were just really good at playing games, but thinking about it now, you might habitually ignore some of your negative emotions.”
People were coming and going at the entrance of the dormitory, and naturally, many glances were cast their way. But the two only had eyes for each other, listening intently to what the other was saying. Xu Zhi hadn’t expected him to notice this about her, and she felt a strange, indescribable feeling.
She hummed in agreement and said, “It’s not that I ignore them. After my mom passed away, a lot happened at home. Although I used to argue with her a lot, she was a very capable person. She won countless design awards and was a brilliant architect in public, as well as the backbone of our family at home. You know my dad is socially anxious. He can’t even communicate normally with people without extensive mental preparation, let alone argue. But my mom wasn’t like that. She believed in standing up for herself, whether she was right or wrong. She wouldn’t let herself be wronged.”
“With her around, I felt secure. My mom often said, ‘Being alive is about having confidence. There’s no need to care about what others think.’ Because of this personality, she offended quite a few people. After she passed, she left behind a mess. People would harass my dad and me every day. Some even brought their children, asking my dad to raise them, saying that since my mom had died, their construction projects had stopped, and their husbands couldn’t get paid. Their children had no milk to drink. This was just because my mom had helped them a few times when she was alive, using her own money to advance their wages. Then they latched onto my dad and me. It was then that I realized emotions are the most useless thing. You empathize with them, but they don’t necessarily appreciate it. After getting angry, I still had to do my homework. I might as well just do the homework directly.”
Ms. Lin Qiudie had a bit of a personal heroism. She often stepped in to help when she saw injustice and was frequently backstabbed for it. But she remained true to herself, always ready to lend a hand when needed. She was someone who didn’t care much about repayment, with an unshakeable warmth in her heart.
Chen Luzhou suddenly understood why she had been so eager to get close to him initially, and why, after meeting his mother, Xu Zhi was certain that his mother wasn’t hers.
Lin Qiudie and Lian Hui were completely different people. Apart from having similar voices, Lian Hui was cautious and gentle like water, but always self-serving. Even if she had completely changed her appearance, it would be impossible for her personality to change so drastically.
Chen Luzhou lowered his head, pondering seriously for a moment. He kneaded the snowball in his hand and said, “This might be hard to understand, but I think what you might be lacking is emotion. Designers consume a lot of their own emotions in their work. More sentimental people might be able to integrate their feelings more thoroughly into their work – that’s what we call inspiration. Zhu Yangqi has a lot to say about this. Sometimes, he sees two trees and feels sad for the more barren one.”
Xu Zhi stared at him with frank eyes, clearly unable to understand.
He smiled. “I’ll tell you later how he finds inspiration. But emotions, when suppressed for too long, are like this snowball. They’ll keep growing bigger and bigger. One day, it’s bound to cause problems. You can’t keep ignoring them.”
Chen Luzhou silently held up the snowball in his hand.
It was huge. Xu Zhi was shocked. “Did you make a globe?”
Chen Luzhou smiled and asked her, “Want to have a snowball fight?”
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“How could I bear to?”
Despite his words, his gaze was a bit mischievous. Xu Zhi was inexplicably reminded of the scene between them in bed that morning, and she suddenly felt hot again, her heart pounding.
That feeling was hard to describe. It was intense.
However, just as he finished speaking, Chen Luzhou felt a sudden chill on his neck. A snowball, flying from who knows where whooshed past his ear and hit Xu Zhi squarely on the forehead. Chen Luzhou instinctively tried to protect her head, blocking it with his arm. The ball rolled onto Xu Zhi’s shoulder, and the snowball, mixed with bits of leaves, exploded on her body like a bomb, scattering white snow all over her.
While brushing the snow off her body, Chen Luzhou impatiently looked back. Sure enough, he saw the culprit, Li Ke, standing by the flowerbed, smiling apologetically and bewilderedly, afraid that Chen Luzhou would come after him. “…It went off course. Is Xu Zhi okay?”
Chen Luzhou grunted an affirmative and beckoned to him: “She’s fine. Come here.”
Li Ke thought about walking over to ask if they were going to the library, but halfway there, he suddenly saw the globe-sized snowball in Chen Luzhou’s hand. He cursed and turned to run.
Chen Luzhou still stood there calmly, leisurely instructing his girlfriend: “Hit him.”
Li Ke: “Have you no shame? That thing is illegal in terms of size.”
Chen Luzhou even brazenly added: “Run slower, she can’t catch up.”
Li Ke ran while looking back, his legs moving incredibly fast: “I must be crazy.”
Chen Luzhou leaned casually against a nearby tree, smiling and looking refreshed. He reminded Li Ke: “Ke Ke, slow down, there’s a snow pile behind you.”
Seeing that Xu Zhi couldn’t catch up with him, Li Ke deliberately took a couple of steps backward. “Like hell, I’ll believe you—”
“Bang—” With a loud noise, his foot slipped, and he fell unexpectedly into the snow pile. “Damn it, Chen Luzhou, you—”
Some familiar classmates came out of the dormitory building, all trying to hold back their laughter. They teased, “Li Dazhuangyuan, stop asking for trouble! Lucao is two people now!”
“Lucao is quite protective.”
“If Xu Zhi were my girlfriend, who wouldn’t be protective?”
“I want to have a snowball fight with my girlfriend too.”
“Dream on. You’re more likely to have a snowball fight with Einstein than find a girlfriend to have one with.”
“Damn.”
Someone started it, and gradually more and more people joined the snowball fight downstairs. The fluffy snowflakes danced in the air, swirling into a mass. It was a sea of white, making it hard to see faces. Anyone passing by was mercilessly grabbed for a handful of snow. The air was filled with the sounds of chasing, laughing, and pushing, creating a chaotic atmosphere.
The commotion outside was so intense that people inside the dormitory couldn’t resist. They pulled up their pants and rushed downstairs. “What’s going on?”
“Chen Luzhou and Li Ke are having a snowball fight outside. Let’s go join them!”
The excitement was highly contagious. The essence of youth lies in their “actions speak louder than words” mentality and their infectious energy. They act on their thoughts, regardless of right or wrong. They are both idealistic youths and youths seizing the moment.
Chen Luzhou was such a youth, as was Li Ke, and Xu Zhi even more so. All the youths present were.
All eighteen and nineteen-year-olds should be like this.
Xu Zhi thought it was good to have him around.
Chen Luzhou sighed, walked over, and pulled Li Ke up. “I warned you.”
Li Ke had fallen into a hole, sunk in it, and trustingly offered his hand.
Chen Luzhou: “Xu Zhi, hit him.”
“…”
Li Ke instinctively tried to shake off Chen Luzhou’s grip but couldn’t. The guy was really strong. “…Damn, Chen Luzhou, are you even human?”
Chen Luzhou was just like this. He could handle being wronged himself, but if someone close to him was wronged, he would retaliate. Li Ke had seen before how he protected his younger brother.
But the expected attack from the giant snowball didn’t come.
Li Ke looked bewilderedly at Xu Zhi, who was holding the large snowball, while Chen Luzhou firmly held onto his hand. Unable to bear it any longer, he was about to say, “Damn, can you two make up your minds?”
Xu Zhi stood motionless, looking at Chen Luzhou seriously, and asked, “Why do you call him Ke Ke, but call me Xu Zhi?”
Chen Luzhou: “…”
Li Ke: “…………”