Jia Fu helped Pei You’an sit down on the couch. Just as she was about to call for someone to bring tea and water, she caught a glimpse of blood staining the sleeve of his left arm. When she focused her gaze, she was greatly alarmed. “Cousin, you’re wounded?”
Pei You’an rarely drank alcohol, but tonight in the main hall, all the tribal chieftains from the Southwest were present. Each drank heartily and competed to toast him with great enthusiasm. Unable to decline such warm hospitality, he had made an exception and joined in the drinking. Now he was slightly affected by the alcohol. Following her gaze, he lowered his head to look at his arm, then raised his eyes to see her staring intently, eyes wide with panic. His heart suddenly warmed, and he reassured her, “It’s just a small cut on the skin, not a serious injury. It’s nothing.”
Jia Fu anxiously said, “Blood is coming out and you still say it’s nothing!” She turned and retrieved the bottle of medicinal ointment he had previously used on her, washed her hands, and hurried back with it.
The cut on his arm had already been treated, and the bleeding had stopped. But it seemed the blood circulation had increased with the alcohol, causing some blood to seep out again. It was of no consequence, but seeing how anxious and concerned she was, insisting on applying the medicine again, he didn’t stop her and sat quietly, watching her busy herself beside him.
Jia Fu removed his outer garment, rolled up his middle sleeve, and carefully unwrapped the bandage that the attendant had wrapped around his arm earlier. She saw a wound about several inches long on his arm, with blood slowly seeping out.
Originally, she was most afraid of seeing bloody wounds, but now, this wound seemed as if it were on her own body. She felt no fear, only immense concern. She carefully applied the hemostatic ointment to his arm, remembering how when he had applied it to her that day, it had stung a little. She pouted slightly and leaned in, gently blowing on his wound.
The wound felt cool and slightly ticklish from her breath, like a light feather brushing against it. Pei You’an restrained himself from pulling his arm away. Her face was also very close to him, and Pei You’an smelled the sweet fragrance emanating from her hair and skin—completely different from the deliberately perfumed scent he had first encountered from her at the Duke’s mansion in the capital the previous year. Hers was a warm, sweet, and moist fragrance. He seemed to be gradually becoming accustomed to this scent; whenever he smelled it, it always made him feel happy.
“Cousin, bear with it, it won’t hurt soon. It was the same for me last time.”
Listening to her comforting words as if she were soothing him, Pei You’an felt the alcohol in his stomach surge again. Growing tipsy, he slowly closed his eyes.
Jia Fu finished applying the medicine, carefully tied back the bandage, and lowered his rolled-up sleeve. Looking up, she saw his eyes closed, seemingly overcome by the alcohol. She hurriedly tried to help him lie down. The moment her fingertips touched his shoulder, Pei You’an suddenly opened his eyes, raised his hand slightly to block her, and said, “Cousin, there is something I must tell you.”
His tone suddenly carried a note of solemnity.
Jia Fu paused, looking up at him with confusion.
“Tomorrow we will return, and once we arrive, I will arrange for someone to send you to Quanzhou,” he said in a gentle tone.
Jia Fu felt as if her chest had been unexpectedly struck, her heart sinking with a “thud.” She stared at him, unable to speak for a moment.
Pei You’an smiled slightly, “Don’t worry, I won’t forget what I promised you before.”
Although she knew that sooner or later he would send her away, hearing it directly from him was still too sudden.
Jia Fu truly wasn’t prepared, and for a moment her thoughts were in disarray. After regaining her composure, she forced a smile, “Thank you, Cousin… but… must you send me away now?”
Pei You’an avoided looking at the pleading gaze she cast toward him, responding with silence.
Jia Fu’s heart sank bit by bit.
“…Must I go now? Couldn’t it be a little later? I promise I’ll listen to you, I won’t lose my temper, I won’t fight with people, and I won’t make you angry again…”
Jia Fu’s voice already carried a hint of tears.
Another wave of alcohol surged. The window was open, yet Pei You’an felt stuffy, his throat tight, his breathing difficult. The intoxication in his chest intensified by degrees.
She thought he was angry…
He steadied himself.
There was no harm in telling her the reason for sending her away. What had happened could not be undone, and before long, even before she reached Quanzhou, the whole world would know.
This was also the reason why, during today’s mediation, he could only succeed, failure was not an option.
“It has nothing to do with you. Something has happened at the Prince’s mansion. I just received the news yesterday. The Emperor, using ancestral worship as a pretext, graciously summoned the Crown Prince to the capital to participate in the ceremony. The Crown Prince killed the messenger, and the Prince of Yunzhong had no choice but to take action.”
Pei You’an’s voice was gentle and calm, as if he feared frightening her, and as if he had long anticipated such a day would come, only not knowing what circumstances would trigger it.
Now, everything had its answer.
Just days ago, another envoy had come from the capital. The Emperor had summoned the Crown Prince of Yunzhong, Xiao Yintang, to enter the capital immediately. The purpose of entering the capital was, naturally, to hold him as a hostage. The Prince of Yunzhong had received the decree at that time and was delaying when Xiao Yintang had someone kill the envoy, deciding for his father in this manner.
Jia Fu was stunned.
She only knew that it should be around this time that the Emperor would challenge the Prince of Yunzhong, and war would break out, after which the Prince of Yunzhong would enter the capital and ascend the throne as Emperor.
But she didn’t know the true cause of events.
So this was the beginning of her nightmare from her previous life.
Pei You’an looked at her pale face, his voice growing even gentler: “If I’m not mistaken, war will break out soon. I can no longer take you with me, and it’s not safe here either. Quanzhou, on the other hand, is not a strategic military location and is far from the areas of conflict, so it won’t be greatly affected. It should be a peaceful place. After you return, there will be people to protect you and your family, so you can rest assured.”
Jia Fu wasn’t clear about who he planned to send to protect her, but since he had arranged it, she believed that for the period after she returned, that person might truly be able to protect her and her family.
But what about the not-too-distant future? When the Prince of Yunzhong became Emperor and Xiao Yintang became Crown Prince, his power would be earth-shattering. At that time, if he still hadn’t let go of his vendetta against her, faced with the power of the Crown Prince, could the people Pei You’an sent to protect her still shield her? And where would Pei You’an be then?
Perhaps, most likely, this would be their final parting, and she would never have the opportunity to meet Pei You’an again.
How she wished she could throw herself into this man’s arms as she had when they first met at the post house, holding him tightly, begging him to allow her to remain under his protective wing, not to push her away from his world like this.
But she knew this was his final decision, and it would not change.
She stared at him blankly.
He remained silent, and after a moment, seemingly overcome by a wave of intoxication, he lay down fully clothed, closed his eyes, and said in a calm voice that she could return to her room, he no longer needed her to stay.
Jia Fu returned to the room adjacent to his in a daze, her entire being gripped by a feeling of impending disaster.
Knowing the terrible things that would happen in the future, yet powerless to escape, watching helplessly as they approached step by step – this was the greatest fear.
The night deepened, and the tribal chieftain’s mansion gradually quieted down. Jia Fu held her breath, pressing her ear tightly against the wall, listening for any movement from the next room.
He was drunk and sleeping deeply. Jia Fu listened for a long time but heard nothing.
She sat curled up in the corner of the bed, motionless in the dark shadows of the night. After sitting like this for a long while, she finally climbed down from the bed and walked out noiselessly.
…
Pei You’an was drunk tonight.
When he first returned, perhaps the intoxication wasn’t so deep, but after he sent her away, his mood sank, and with it, intoxication surged from all directions, engulfing him.
Finally, he even began to dream, fragments of old memories about a sixteen-year-old boy.
That year, the young man escorted his father’s spirit back from the battlefield to the capital. On the deep night after the funeral, filled with grief, he went to visit his ill mother, Lady Xin.
The servants said Lady Xin was still in the small memorial hall, so he went there and saw her back.
She was alone, facing his father’s spirit tablet, her figure frozen.
The young man stood at the entrance of the memorial hall, just about to enter, when Lady Xin suddenly cursed at the spirit tablet in a low voice, filled with hatred.
“Sixteen years!”
“You heartless man!”
“I accepted that bastard you brought back from outside as a son, watched him take everything that should have belonged to my son! And now you just die like this?”
“He should be the one to die! Why isn’t he dead yet? Wasn’t he supposed to die before he turned ten? How many years has it been now?”
The poor widow, immersed in her endless grief and resentment, hadn’t noticed that the young man had come and silently left.
In the dream, this young man was of noble status, talented and exceptional. In others’ eyes, he was heaven’s favorite, with his only regret in life being his weak constitution. But only the young man himself knew that his frail body was not his unspeakable pain; his suffering came from the treatment he received from his mother.
He was naturally precocious. When other children his age were still naive, he already had the impression that Lady Xin disliked him. Not just dislike, but a strong feeling of disgust. In private, the way she stared at him later became an indelible shadow that accompanied him as he grew up. No matter how outstanding he was –, the more outstanding he was, the more he felt her hatred. But his innate reserve meant he would never reveal his inner shadows to anyone else, not even to his father or grandmother. He never mentioned a word. Knowing it himself was enough.
But even so, it didn’t prevent his desire to improve relations with Lady Xin, especially after his father had just passed away.
When he was young, he had also guessed that Lady Xin disliked him perhaps because of his poor health. So he studied medicine and practiced martial arts, hoping that one day he could be like others, with a healthy body.
He didn’t know that Lady Xin’s dislike for him was because of his shameful origins.
He was not the rightful eldest son of the Pei family.
He was just an illegitimate child his father had brought back from outside.
This secret, which he unintentionally discovered, plunged the sixteen-year-old boy into a state of immense self-denial and disgust. Everything he had taken for granted collapsed in an instant.
Afterward, three months later, as the mourning period for his father was about to end, on a certain deep night, an event occurred that would influence his entire life.
One of his father’s concubines hanged herself on a tree in front of his residence in the dead of night. The body was discovered the next morning, and rumors began to spread. Some claimed to have seen him sexually assaulting her, and that the concubine, unable to bear the humiliation, had angrily hanged herself in front of his residence.
He ended his youth by leaving the capital.
What didn’t belong to him, he returned, as was right and proper.
…
As an adult, Pei You’an, who had always been a light sleeper, never dreamed.
But tonight, he was trapped in such an unpleasant dream. In the dream, he returned to that outwardly splendid but inwardly oppressive and gloomy adolescence. In a daze, that young man seemed to have fallen onto the ice and snow of the frontier, surrounded by dismembered limbs and skeletons, resembling hell. He felt alternately hot and cold, restless in his dreams. Amidst this, his nostrils detected a familiar warm, sweet, and moist scent. His arms were filled with something soft, and all the darkness in his dream gradually dispersed. He instinctively craved this warm and soft feeling, pursuing it in his dream, reluctant to let go.
When Jia Fu was drawn into Pei You’an’s embrace, she was startled, her body freezing for a moment. Slowly, feeling his alcohol-laden, hot breath falling on her face, she realized he hadn’t awakened. Her body finally couldn’t help but tremble slightly, her heart pounding, her entire skin burning hot.
Just like this, shameless or not, she would hold onto him and not let go, waiting for him to sober up.
Jia Fu had made up her mind, moving closer to him until she was completely curled up in his arms. Her eyelashes trembled as she slowly closed her eyes.