The fifth watch, between the cock’s crow and daybreak, outside the window was a dim bluish haze.
Pei You’an was between sleeping and waking.
Since adulthood, he had never slept so well, although the beginning of this sleep had started with dream fragments that did not please him. But once those dream fragments were dispelled, this sleep was so prolonged and deep, and fragrant and warm… soft…
He tightened his arms, and in his hazy consciousness, the softness that filled his palms made him suddenly feel something was amiss. His brows furrowed slightly, and his clouded mind, as if falling through the mist, slowly became clear.
His eyelids twitched, and he abruptly opened his eyes, waking up. By the faint light of dawn, he saw his cousin, Jia Fu, now sharing his bed and covers, her entire body curled up in his embrace, one arm around his waist. She looked so small, with only her head of black hair resting on his shoulder and half her face visible from beneath the corner of the blanket. She was still asleep, eyes closed in deep slumber, her face flushed, motionless. He was also embracing her, one arm around her willow-thin waist, his palm resting on her skin. The two seemed to have slept this way for a long time.
Pei You’an was stunned, at first thinking he was still deep in a dream. Finally coming to his senses, as if pricked by a needle, he sharply withdrew his hand, sat up abruptly, and instinctively looked down, quickly glancing over himself.
Though he was still wearing his middle garment, it was completely wrinkled and disheveled, and his lower abdomen had an unusual condition, still faintly swollen and aching…
Pei You’an’s head buzzed as he quickly threw back the covers and leaped off the bed, grabbing his outer garment that she had removed and hung up last night. As he hastily put it on, he heard a voice from behind: “Cousin…”
Pei You’an’s hand paused, and he slowly turned around to see that she had been awakened by his movement and was now sitting up, one hand holding the blanket to her chest, the other rubbing her eyes. Her starry eyes were half-closed, her face like the morning flowers, her voice indistinct, carrying the gentle softness and coquettish languor of someone just awakened.
She appeared completely unclothed all over her body. Sitting up like this, although she pressed the corner of the blanket to her chest, her smooth fragrant shoulders and snow-white arms were still exposed. Even in the dim dawn light of the room, it couldn’t suppress the snow-like glow of her skin and the spring languor of her beauty. For a moment it dazzled one’s eyes and confused one’s gaze. Pei You’an’s chest palpitated, the corners of his eyes reddening. He closed his eyes briefly, then suddenly turned away, only to hear her voice again from behind: “Cousin, I am yours now. Though we did not yet consummate as man and woman last night, my body cannot be given to another.”
She must have fully awakened by now. Though her voice was gentle, each word was exceptionally clear.
The air seemed to freeze.
After a long while, Pei You’an’s shoulders moved slightly, and he slowly closed his robe.
“Put on your clothes.”
He said, his voice hoarse.
From behind came the slight rustling sound of dressing. After a moment, she said, “I’m done.”
Pei You’an did not immediately turn around, still standing in place. After a long time, he suddenly asked, “You had already returned to your room last night, how did you end up sleeping in the same bed with me?”
The silence was the response from behind.
Pei You’an slowly turned around, his gaze falling on Jia Fu.
The dawn light was gradually whitening. She had wrapped her garment around her body, her black hair covering her shoulders. At first, she remained motionless, then gradually raised her face to meet Pei You’an’s gaze.
“I came back on my own,” she said softly.
“Who taught a young girl like you to use such disreputable tactics?” His voice was tense, his gaze heavy.
“I thought of it myself…” Jia Fu’s eyelashes trembled slightly as she lowered her head.
The air froze again.
Jia Fu’s heart beat faster and faster, and fine beads of sweat slowly formed on the tip of her nose.
She somewhat hated herself for her uselessness. She had planned to tell him that last night he had awakened and called for water, that she had heard and come to serve him, and that he, half-drunk and half-awake, had pulled her onto the bed, and she had been unable to resist.
If she had just insisted on this version, even if he didn’t believe it, he couldn’t completely distance himself from responsibility.
She dared to climb into his bed, but when the moment of truth came and he questioned her, she inexplicably didn’t want to use this contemptible excuse anymore. Even if telling the truth would make him despise or even detest her. Because the excuse sounded so nauseating to her.
How could he possibly be that kind of person?
It was enough for her if she could stay by his side. By her intuition about him, as long as he kept her, he would certainly protect her. As for the rest, she didn’t care.
She told herself this, suppressing the trepidation and distress that welled up in her heart. Summoning all her courage, she raised her head again to meet his gaze.
“Cousin, I have already shared a bed with you for one night. If you still don’t want me, and if in the future I should by chance escape from the Crown Prince’s hands and survive, for the rest of my life, I will cut my hair and become a nun!”
After saying this, she held her breath, staring at him without blinking.
Pei You’an looked back at her for a moment, expressionless and noncommittal, then suddenly said, “Go back to your room. Don’t take a single step outside without my permission!”
“Cousin…” Jia Fu pleaded.
“Go back to your room.”
He repeated, turning his back.
Jia Fu’s blood gradually cooled, and she sat dumbfounded for a moment before silently getting off the bed and passing by him with her head lowered.
The threshold was not high, barely half a foot, but as she stepped over it, her legs felt as if they were filled with lead, extremely heavy. She practically shuffled back to her room, then fell onto her pillow, tears slowly flowing out.
She had a feeling that her last desperate effort had failed.
Last night, she had mustered all her courage, returned to his room, removed her clothes, and crept into his embrace. In her hesitation, before she could do anything, somehow, in the end, she had fallen asleep, and slept until just now, when she was awakened by the sound of him getting up.
Was there such a fool in the world as she?
Jia Fu’s tears flowed more fiercely, but fearing someone would hear, she desperately covered her mouth, silently sobbing. After crying for a while, remembering that they were to set out today, she feared her eyes would be swollen and seen by others, so she forcibly stopped her tears. By noon, a guard came to knock on her door, saying that Master Pei had sent him to call her, that she could come out, and they were preparing to depart.
Jia Fu dared not delay. She took her things and followed the guard out of the tribal chieftain’s mansion with her head lowered all the way. Coming to the front, she saw Pei You’an standing there in the distance, saying goodbye to the tribal chieftain who was seeing him off, with many people around.
She lowered her head even more and walked quickly toward the carriage left for her, which was parked behind. As she approached, a voice suddenly came from behind: “Cousin Zhen!”
Jia Fu recognized An Cangzhu’s voice but pretended not to hear, hastily quickening her steps. However, An Cangzhu quickly caught up and stood in front of her, blocking her way, saying, “Cousin Zhen, when are you returning to Quanzhou? After some time, when I can get away from here, I’d also like to visit Quanzhou…”
He suddenly uttered a curious sound and leaned in closer: “Cousin Zhen, what’s wrong? Your eyes are a bit swollen. Have you been crying?”
Jia Fu felt both ashamed and frustrated. She shook her head: “I’m fine. I’ll get in now…” She walked around An Cangzhu, hurrying toward the carriage.
“Could it be that my sister caused you trouble again? Tell me…”
An Cangzhu pursued her, but suddenly a figure flashed in front of Jia Fu. Yang Yun came over, took the bundle from her hand, and stood between her and An Cangzhu, smiling: “Miss Zhen is quite well. Young Master An, please stay, no need to see us off further.”
Jia Fu climbed into the carriage, closed the door, and sat inside. After a moment, the carriage began to sway and finally set off.
That very evening, Jia Fu discovered something.
The direction they were heading was not toward Wuding Prefecture where they had departed from, but eastward, directly toward Quanzhou.
The people escorting her were Yang Yun and his subordinates, and Pei You’an never appeared again.
She had exhausted all the methods she could think of and managed to execute, but in the end, she still hadn’t succeeded in staying by his side, let alone getting him to marry her.
Although that morning, when she crossed that threshold, she had already prepared herself mentally for this, when she truly realized that it was all real, she still fell into immense melancholy, regret, and shame.
Strangely, at such a time, what she should have been thinking about most was losing the protection from Pei You’an that she had tried so hard to secure, and what she would do if Xiao Yintang came after her again. But all along this eastward journey, she hardly thought about this matter anymore.
If, in the end, it truly could not be avoided, and she fell back into Xiao Yintang’s hands again, at worst it would be death, and suddenly she didn’t feel so terrified anymore. Instead, whenever she thought of what she had done that day, her emotions sank, and she could not pull herself out of it. She returned to her home in Quanzhou in this state. Madam Meng, seeing her daughter lost and then found, hugged Jia Fu, crying and laughing. Her brother Zhen Yaoting was overjoyed, and even her grandmother, Old Lady Hu, showed a smile on her face. After the reunion, that evening, the family held a banquet to welcome Jia Fu home. The whole family was joyful.
The day she returned home was only a few months after Jia Fu had been abducted, but for Jia Fu, it felt like everything had changed, and she experienced a desolate feeling in her heart as if she had been through a great dream.
Half a month later, on this day, Old Lady Hu called her granddaughter into the room alone, dismissed the servants, and said, “I heard from that benefactor Yang who brought you back that you were captured by traffickers and taken to Yunnan. Fortunately, you were rescued by his master on the way and thus escaped. Now, he has brought you home at his master’s command. This is naturally a good thing. If one day I can meet this benefactor, I will certainly thank him generously. But Ah Fu, tell your grandmother honestly, is your purity still intact?”
On the day of the Mazu Festival, after Jia Fu disappeared, Old Lady Hu had people searching everywhere while keeping the news strictly confidential, telling outsiders only that her granddaughter had gone to visit distant relatives. She did this because, at that time, the old lady was again looking for a marriage match for her granddaughter. In the prefecture, there was an official family with a son born of a concubine who was interested in forming a marriage alliance with the Zhen family. Old Lady Hu feared that if the news leaked out, it would damage Jia Fu’s reputation, so she did not let out a single word. Later, when there was still no news of Jia Fu, just as she was becoming extremely anxious, suddenly joy came from heaven—someone sent news of Jia Fu’s whereabouts, and she finally breathed a sigh of relief. Now that her granddaughter had finally returned, the old lady again planned for a marriage, and after questioning Jia Fu, she stared at her anxiously.
Jia Fu remained silent, and Old Lady Hu understood. Her face heavy, eyes showing disappointment, after a long while, she sighed deeply: “Never mind, you’ve had a difficult time. It’s good that you’re back. You may go now.”
Jia Fu kowtowed to the old lady, saying, “Grandmother, I know you’ve always wanted to use my marriage to gain support for our family. It was so with the previous marriage arrangement with the Duke’s family, and it is the same now. Since your granddaughter has lost her purity, what good family would be willing to marry me? Even if we conceal it and I marry, paper can never wrap fire. If it becomes known, not only would it not help our Zhen family, but it would also be embarrassing, and might even create enmity. Your granddaughter boldly requests that Grandmother no longer arrange my marriage in the future. I have no intention of marrying, and I beg Grandmother not to force me.”
This was the first time in her life that she had spoken such words to Old Lady Hu. The old lady was surprised and somewhat displeased. She stared at her, frowning, “Is this how you speak to your grandmother? The marriages I have been considering for you, while certainly aimed at benefiting our Zhen family, have all been with good families. You are also my granddaughter; how could I marry you off carelessly? Though, unfortunately, you have lost your purity, once married, there are ways to cover it up. Why must you be so disheartened? How can a girl not marry and grow old at home? Where is the logic in that?”
Jia Fu said tearfully, “Forgive your granddaughter’s filial impiety. If Grandmother arranges another marriage, I will cut my hair and become a nun!”
Old Lady Hu was furious and was about to scold her when suddenly hurried footsteps were heard outside the door, and a servant said, “Old Lady, Madam asked me to quickly relay a message to you—a distinguished guest has arrived at our home!”
Old Lady Hu suppressed her anger, turned her head, and asked, “From which family is this distinguished guest?”
The servant replied, “They say it’s the eldest son of the Pei family from the Duke’s mansion in the capital!”
Old Lady Hu was stunned, hesitated for a moment, then stood up from her seat, saying, “What is he here for? Quickly welcome him in.” With that, she left Jia Fu behind and hurried out.