We sat together on the sofa overlooking the river, each holding a cup of warm water.
Perhaps because it was still during the Spring Festival, the river lights remained brilliant even late at night. The water reflected the lights as it flowed silently, both peaceful and bustling.
“This apartment was bought and renovated by my father, but my parents never lived here for even a day,” Lin Yusen finally spoke softly after a long while.
I looked around the apartment again with surprise, suddenly feeling its emptiness and loneliness.
This home his parents left him but never lived in—what must Lin Yusen feel each time he walks in? How many late nights had he sat alone on this sofa, with no one beside him?
A sudden pang shot through my heart. I handed him my cup, which he set aside before gently pulling me close.
“The renovation wasn’t even finished when my father was sent abroad. After his accident, my mother left China and lived long-term in Switzerland. She remarried a few years ago and lives peacefully now. Back then, she wanted to take me with her, but my grandparents’ health wasn’t good. She couldn’t bear to take their grandson away after they’d already lost their son, so she ultimately left me in Shanghai. I was seven then. For a long time, I lived with my grandparents in a small sixty-square-meter old apartment in Puxi.”
“My maternal grandfather would often have me stay at the Sheng house for a few days. My grandparents never stopped me, but they never came along. As a child, I wondered why but never thought too deeply about it. Perhaps due to the shock of my father’s death, my grandparents passed away early too. My mother asked me to go abroad again, but by then I had gotten into a good high school and wanted to attend university in China. So at thirteen, I moved into the Sheng family’s old house.”
“Grandfather,” he paused, “was always very good to me.”
“I took the college entrance exam early. My first choice was business school—partly to help my grandfather with some things, and to carry on my father’s wishes. That’s when someone told me about what happened to my father.”
That person must not have wanted him to help share the burden. But to tell Lin Yusen this right before the college entrance exam was truly despicable.
“I changed my choice to medical school. I had always been more interested in medicine anyway. As a child, I even dreamed of being a Doctors Without Borders physician, appearing wherever I was needed.”
My heart stirred, remembering what Uncle had mentioned about the cause of Lin Yusen’s father’s death.
He continued: “Throughout university, I rarely visited the Sheng house, using my studies as an excuse. When I couldn’t avoid going, I mostly stayed in my room reading. Later I went to study in America and finally chose to return to China as a doctor. After seeing so much life and death in medicine, I gradually let go but still maintained limited contact with the Sheng family. That time I accompanied grandfather to your godmother’s banquet was by chance—I was doing an exchange at a hospital in Wuxi, and grandfather sent a car to pick me up, so I attended… Then I had the car accident.”
I instinctively grabbed his hand. He quietly looked down at our hands and interlaced our fingers.
“During that period, I was filled with resentment, so when my grandfather asked me to work at Sheng Yuan, I agreed immediately. I started from the bottom, and nobody paid much attention at first, since I hadn’t studied business. But for small projects, did I need to study?”
…Oh, Sheng Yuan’s “small projects.”
Though the mood had been somber, I couldn’t help but smile at this.
“Six months after joining Sheng Yuan, Sheng Xingjie had a project go wrong. I found a way to fix it, and my grandfather immediately promoted me to the same level as Xingjie. I did some things, made some friends, and, well, caused some small troubles for CEO Nie.”
He made it sound so casual that I almost believed him, but considering how deep an impression he’d made on my father, there was no way those were just “small troubles.”
I knew the next part of the story: “Then you went to Suzhou.”
“Yes. And after that, there was Miss Nie.” At this point, his lips finally curved into a slight smile. “Then my perspective changed.”
“What changed?”
“It seems I regained my rationality, found some compensation, and became more at peace.” His expression now carried the tranquility of someone who had weathered storms. “I asked myself if it was meaningful to waste my time doing things I wasn’t interested in just to make others uncomfortable.”
“Of course, at first it was meaningful because I was being dramatic then, feeling like I had nothing left. But now, I have something again.” His grip on my hand tightened slightly, his gaze focused intently on me. “Xiguang, I don’t want to give up. I don’t want my years of hard work to go to waste.”
I sat up straight. So he was going back to medicine?!
“When I went to Switzerland to spend Spring Festival with my mother, we went skiing. Standing on top of the snow mountain, there was a moment when suddenly the world felt vast. The usefulness of medical knowledge isn’t limited to clinical practice or the operating table—there are many things one can do. If one path is blocked, I can take another while still putting my knowledge to use. My hands may be damaged, but are my hands all I have? Isn’t my most valuable asset my brain?”
I stared at him blankly.
I knew I should encourage and affirm him at this moment, but I couldn’t find the words.
This person who had endured so many hardships—family, career—yet remained so open-minded and confident, genuinely kind-hearted.
My expression must have looked a bit foolish because he suddenly laughed when he saw me.
“What’s that look for?”
“Just thinking that you’re… um, incredibly strong.” I felt somewhat frustrated that I could only come up with such an ordinary description.
He pinched my cheek. “You’re too easily impressed.”
I mumbled unclearly, “Seems I’ve already been fooled… let go~”
Batting his hand away, I asked about the specifics: “So what exactly are you planning to do? Become an internal medicine doctor? Research? Or teach at a medical school?”
“No rush to decide. Even within the medical field, different specialties are worlds apart. I’ll look around first.”
“Mm.” I nodded repeatedly. “Yes, look around first.”
The lights on the river suddenly dimmed as I spoke. Lin Yusen lifted his wrist to check the time. “It’s getting late. I’ll walk you back to the hotel.”
We walked back to the hotel from Lin Yusen’s place.
The winter night was very cold, our breath turning to white mist, but my heart was so happy. Wrapped in my down jacket, arm in arm with Lin Yusen, my steps were incredibly light.
I didn’t know why I was so happy—perhaps because the person beside me had shared all his past with me, or because he had decided to pursue what he truly loved?
Or maybe just because on this deep night, on the empty road, I was walking arm in arm with someone, feeling joyful.
My evident delight made Lin Yusen laugh. “What are you so happy about?”
“Of course, I’m happy that you’re going to do what you like! Compared to having a boyfriend who’s an overbearing CEO, I prefer having one who’s an amazing doctor or researcher. After all, overbearing CEOs are too common.”
“What if I was amazing before but won’t be amazing anymore?”
“Impossible!” I stopped walking and said seriously.
“You’re that certain?” Lin Yusen stopped too.
“Certain.”
“Alright.”
Lin Yusen agreed quickly.
Ah~ Even though it was so cold, my face felt warm. I pulled my hand away and walked ahead quickly.
“Hurry up, I’m sleepy.”
Lin Yusen didn’t rush to catch up, maintaining an unhurried pace behind me. When we left, we had both instinctively chosen the path along the river because it was longer.
The streetlights cast dim shadows on us as the river flowed silently beside us, with only scattered lights twinkling.
As we walked, an inexplicable melancholy came over me, and my steps slowed.
“What’s wrong?” Lin Yusen caught up to me.
“If you go back to medicine, you won’t be in Suzhou anymore. Will we have to do long-distance?”
“Didn’t I say it wouldn’t be that soon? Besides, Suzhou is so close—if I want to see you, I can commute daily.”
“That would be quite unprofessional of you.”
Lin Yusen laughed.
I said, “I probably won’t always be in Suzhou either. In the future, I…”
Speaking, I became uncertain. The person before me had found a firm goal, a direction for his future—what about me?
Lin Yusen seemed to sense something and suddenly asked, “Xiguang, have you thought about what you want to do?”
I couldn’t answer. It seemed I had never thought about this question, and even my parents had never expressed any expectations. Was it because I was too casual?
Lin Yusen nodded understandingly, thought for a moment, and then suggested: “Since you don’t have any particular ideas right now, why not be a good boss first?”
Huh?
I couldn’t process this for a moment.
“And make money to support the family. Not bad.” He affirmed his idea, patted my shoulder encouragingly, and said seriously, “I’ll leave the Suzhou company to you. Whatever direction I develop in, I won’t be making much money for a while, so you’ll have to take care of that first.”
Wait, weren’t we just talking about long-distance relationships? How did we end up discussing me supporting you?
“Of course, I’ll work hard too, and if I achieve something in the medical field in the future, I’ll be sure to thank first and foremost… Miss Nie.” ???
In the bitter wind and night, just one month into dating, I vaguely felt like my boyfriend had painted me a grand picture and gotten me aboard some universal pirate ship.