If only Mother wasn’t so sentimental!
Her behavior made things so difficult for Dou Zhao.
Dou Zhao sighed deeply.
Suddenly, she felt a strange mix of emotions towards her mother.
There was a hint of heartache, some pity, and even… envy!
This realization startled her.
Feeling pain for her mother’s situation and pity for her hardships were natural, but why did she feel envy?
What was she envying about her mother?
The deep affection she once had? Or the spontaneity she displayed in front of Father?
Dou Zhao felt confused and lost.
After seeing Madam Wei and her son, she sat on the heated kang, watching Hanxiao and Shuangzhi help Mother remove her hairpins and jewelry.
Father walked in.
His expression was troubled. “Guqiu, I have something important to discuss with you.”
Mother turned around, her slender fingers twirling the large red tassel hanging from the gilt water grass pattern handle of her mirror. Her eyes were deep and calm as she silently gazed at Father.
The maids and servants in the room quietly withdrew.
Father half-knelt beside Mother. “Guqiu, Yingxue… she… she’s pregnant…”
Mother’s fingers, which had been playing with the tassel, suddenly stopped.
Father hung his head. “…I can only come to discuss this with you… I know I’ve wronged you… but I can’t pretend nothing happened… I, I really can’t do that…”
“How did you two meet?” Mother asked Father softly, her tone calm as her fingers resumed their idle play with the tassel.
Father perked up and said, “When I arrived in Beijing, I naturally went to visit Master Guanlan. It happened that Yingxue was there to borrow some ginseng…” He hurriedly explained, “I didn’t see her at the time. It’s just that Master Guanlan treats me like a nephew, so his family didn’t intentionally avoid me. I heard from the servants that Wang Xingyi’s daughter had come to see the Madam, saying her nephew was ill and needed to drink ginseng soup. She wanted to ask the Madam to help buy two-hundred-year-old ginseng roots, but she didn’t have enough money. You know, ginseng of that quality is hard to come by. The Madam tried her best and even added some of her own money, but could only manage to get a fifty-year-old root. I thought about how Wang Xingyi and Fifth Brother were classmates, how he was loyal and upright, and how the Gao family was virtuous and righteous, yet they ended up in such a situation. I couldn’t help but feel sympathetic, so I had Gaosheng help buy two fifty-year-old ginseng roots and send them to her. When she received the ginseng, she came specially to thank me…” As Father spoke, his face gradually reddened. “I knew she earned money from the cotton business, so I offered to introduce her to our family’s steward and helped her acquire some other medicinal herbs… She asked if I was married… I spoke carelessly and made a joke…” His voice became barely audible. “Because of her father’s situation, she and her brother often visited their father’s peers in Beijing… She’s very straightforward… She told me about interesting places in Beijing… We drank some wine together…”
Mother closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a long moment, she opened them and asked Father, “Didn’t she ever ask who you were?”
“No!” Father said in a low voice. “How would I have known about this relationship…”
Mother’s hand slammed down on the dressing table, causing her jade bracelets to clash loudly. “Bah! I don’t believe she didn’t know who you were! Within hundreds of miles of Zhending, who doesn’t rely on the Dou family for their livelihood? Even if she didn’t recognize you when you offered to introduce her to the family steward, couldn’t she guess who you were? She’s been visiting our family since she was young, how could she not know who I married? If she truly knew nothing about you, would she dare to go to bed with you just for two ginseng roots and a promise? Wasn’t she afraid of encountering a scoundrel…”
“Guqiu, Guqiu!” Father, overcome with shame, interrupted Mother’s words. “She didn’t know! She only realized afterwards… If she hadn’t become pregnant, she wouldn’t have come back to Zhending with me…”
“You don’t believe me?” Mother’s face darkened like an impending storm.
“I believe you, I believe you!” Father said repeatedly. “Regardless, she’s just a woman who encountered such a situation… In any case, this is entirely my fault. Won’t you help me?”
“You…” Mother bit her lip, the tassel she had been twirling now pulled taut.
“Guqiu, Guqiu, don’t be angry!” Father said anxiously. “If this gets out, I’ll truly lose face… For the sake of our marriage, please help me through this difficult time! Guqiu, Guqiu…” He looked at Mother with pleading eyes.
“Fine!” Mother smiled, though her smile was tinged with bitterness. “Have Wang Yingxue sign a contract of indenture, and I’ll let her enter the household.”
“How can that be!” Father cried out in distress. “How could the Wang family face others if you do this? You’re being too harsh! No, no!”
“Then what do you suggest?” Mother asked calmly, her expression showing signs of fatigue.
Father hesitated. “We could offer a larger betrothal gift and not ask for a dowry from the Wang family… I saw Feng Baoshan do this when he took a concubine… Feng Baoshan said it’s the same as buying a concubine, but it looks better on the surface if we call it a betrothal gift… If there are regrets later, the betrothal gift must be returned in full…”
“Isn’t that the same as those merchant families taking a secondary wife?” Mother asked.
Father was taken aback. After a while, he mumbled, “How… how is that the same? You’ll be living together, and everyone in the Dou family will know who is the main wife and who is the concubine…”
“You’ve thought everything through, haven’t you!” Mother laughed, though the laughter didn’t reach her eyes. “Didn’t Father forbid you from leaving? You should go back soon. I’ll discuss this matter with my Sister-in-law and the others.”
Father jumped up with joy, holding Mother’s hand. “Guqiu, does this mean you agree?” He looked like a child who had finally gotten candy.
“I agree,” Mother said, the corners of her mouth turning up as she grasped Father’s hand and gently kissed it. “Go back quickly! Be careful, or Father might call you for another lecture!”
Father smiled at Mother, tenderly stroking her temple. “Guqiu, you’re so good to me!”
Mother giggled, laughing until tears came to her eyes.
Father left, happy and content.
Mother continued to laugh, but her smile gradually faded while her tears flowed more freely.
“Mother!” Dou Zhao threw herself into Mother’s arms.
Mother slowly stroked her head and said softly, “Wang Yingxue is cunning… Maybe she wasn’t at first, but at least later she became so… Shou gu, your father doesn’t believe me, but do you believe Mother?”
“I believe you, I believe you!” Dou Zhao nodded repeatedly, her eyes moist.
“But what good does your belief do?” Mother smiled, tears glistening like morning dew on her flawless, jade-like cheeks. “You little rascal, you don’t understand anything!” She affectionately pinched Dou Zhao’s little nose.
I know, I know!
I understand everything!
Dou Zhao couldn’t help but burst into tears.
She wasn’t a two-year-old child.
The fact that Father had revealed Wang Yingxue’s pregnancy showed that he had been pushed to his limits and was ready to take a desperate gamble.
The “West Dou” branch had few descendants. This move might tarnish Wang Yingxue’s reputation with accusations of an improper relationship, but if Mother insisted on not letting Wang Yingxue enter the household, it would cause the Dou family elders to criticize her, potentially labeling her as unvirtuous. Moreover, the accusation of an improper relationship would only exist in the minds of the Dou family elders. To save face, the Dou family would never speak of it outside, and would even vigorously defend Wang Yingxue if they heard any rumors. What use would such a bad reputation be to Wang Yingxue?
Wang Yingxue had schemed to entrap Father, yet despite his intelligence, he chose to ignore it. His heart had already strayed. With Wang Yingxue’s cunning, who knew what would happen once she entered the household? If Mother had to explain herself for every incident, what kind of life would that be?
Father, in his efforts to bring Wang Yingxue into the family, first threatened Mother with divorce, then half-knelt beside her to beg…
How many more humiliations awaited her in the future?
The young man under the magnolia tree was the dream in Mother’s heart.
Now that the dream was shattered, would she wake up or sink deeper?
Dou Zhao’s heart trembled.
So, Mother chose death!
She looked up at Mother, shocked.
Mother smiled, tears falling.
Her gaze pierced through layers of emptiness, landing on some unknown place.
“Shou gu, Mother is tired and needs to rest,” she murmured. “Go play with Nanny Yu.”
“Mother! Mother!” Dou Zhao clung to Mother’s legs, crying uncontrollably.
She would never leave Mother’s side again.
“Good child!” Mother kissed her cheeks, her tears falling like ice on Dou Zhao’s neck, chilling her to the bone. “No wonder Sister-in-law says you’re smart… Truly, mother and child are connected… Only you know how much I’m suffering… But I have no strength left… Blame Mother for being useless… weak and incompetent… When I’m gone, you’ll still have your uncle…” She said tremblingly, “Maybe this is for the best… They’ll repay what they owe me to you… It’ll save us from tormenting each other daily, erasing what little affection we have left… preventing us from becoming despicable…”
“No, no…” Dou Zhao mumbled, “As long as you’re alive, there’s hope, as long as you’re alive…”
Mother held her tightly as if trying to embed her in her embrace. After a while, she gradually released her and called out loudly, “Nanny Yu!”
Dou Zhao wailed, screaming “Mother, don’t die, Mother, don’t die!”
Nanny Yu was stunned, then knelt crying at Mother’s feet. “Why don’t you let me end it cleanly with a pair of scissors first…”
“Nanny, Nanny…” Mother embraced Nanny Yu’s shoulders. “I really can’t go on… I even pretended to be happily married in front of Sister Tian… My heart was bleeding…”
“A child without a mother is like a blade of grass,” Nanny Yu said, holding Dou Zhao. “If you leave, what will happen to Fourth Miss? No matter how close others are, they’re not the same as a mother. The Old Madam passed away early, do you want Fourth Miss to end up like you?”
“Mother, don’t go, I’ll be good!” Dou Zhao cried, gasping for air. “Don’t go…”
“Shou gu, Shou gu…” Mother was heartbroken.
The three of them cried until they were drenched in tears.
The lights in the Dou household began to come on one by one.
Grandfather and Father were alerted by the commotion.