“Ahhh…”

Gao Xining let out a long sigh, then murmured to herself: “Two hapless fools.”

Who else could she be talking about, besides their Majesty and the Grand Marshal? In all the world, where else would you find two people like these?

Xiahou Yili heard Gao Xining say those four words and burst out with a laugh.

“The Grand Marshal refuses to be a prince no matter what, and our Majesty refuses to agree no matter what.”

She laughed and said, “If one were a man and one a woman, who knows how this would turn out.”

Gao Xining: “You think it’s easier to figure out because they’re both men?”

Xiahou Yili: “…”

Gao Xining cast a glance at the two children sleeping soundly on the bed, her gaze brimming with tender affection.

Xiahou Yili had given birth to a beautiful little princess — exquisitely delicate, like a carving in jade and ivory, the kind of child who made you want to shower her with kisses.

This little girl had been named Li Nuanxi by Li Chi, with the pet name Duoduo.

This alone showed the difference between boys and girls — Li Long’shi’s pet name was Tuotuo, while the little girl’s was Duoduo.

“No idea how much longer the Grand Marshal intends to hold out.”

Xiahou Yili said, “Perhaps you could write him a letter and persuade him — come back to Chang’an.”

Gao Xining said, “I haven’t written to the Grand Marshal, but I have written three letters to Shen Shanhu. She wrote back saying she simply cannot talk him around.”

With that, Gao Xining let out a sigh. “Two stubborn mules.”

She had just been calling them hapless fools, and now they’d already become stubborn mules — and of course she still meant Li Chi and Tang Pidi.

“That reminds me.”

Xiahou Yili said, “Word came back from the Western Frontier a while ago — Shen Shanhu has given birth to twins. Perhaps this could be an opportunity — let me suggest it to His Majesty, to go in his stead and visit the Western Frontier?”

Gao Xining said, “You haven’t recovered yet — traveling all the way to the Western Frontier isn’t good for you. Let me say something to His Majesty — I’ll go.”

While they were still talking, Li Chi’s voice drifted in from outside.

“You both go.”

Gao Xining and Xiahou Yili immediately looked toward the doorway. Li Chi stepped in. “Since he won’t come back, I’ll go see him myself. Though — why would I want to see him? I have no interest in seeing him whatsoever. I simply want to see the children. Yes, that’s it — I genuinely want to see the children.”

Gao Xining and Xiahou Yili exchanged a glance. Both pressed their lips together in a smile, neither one piercing the thin veil of Li Chi’s transparent performance.

“With so many affairs of state, how could Your Majesty find the time to slip away?”

“I’ll find the time whether there’s time to find or not. I’m going.”

Li Chi said, “So the two of you need to go prepare some gifts — bring as many things as a small child can use.”

Gao Xining and Xiahou Yili nodded in unison. “Don’t worry, we’ll prepare everything properly.”

Li Chi gave an approving sound. “I’ve already spoken to Xu Ji — I’ve asked him to hold down everything in the meantime. I just need to make one quick trip to the Western Frontier, and we’ll see if that fellow still manages to hide from me.”

Gao Xining looked at Xiahou Yili. “See? What did I tell you?”

Xiahou Yili broke out laughing.

Li Chi: “What did you say?”

Gao Xining: “That you two are both hapless fools, stubborn mules — there isn’t another pair like you to be found anywhere under heaven.”

Li Chi paused for a moment, then nodded. “That…is fair enough.”

And then he couldn’t hold back a laugh.

Two days later, His Majesty set off personally for the Western Frontier. The entire court escorted him out through Chang’an’s gates. The hearts of these officials were a tangle of complicated feelings. The Grand Marshal refusing to return was already quite remarkable. Even more remarkable was that His Majesty showed no concern at all about the Grand Marshal’s repeated defiance of imperial decrees. And the most remarkable thing of all — the Grand Marshal wouldn’t come back, so His Majesty had decided to go there himself.

This kind of treatment — besides the Grand Marshal, the only other person in all the land who might receive the same was perhaps Xiahou Zuo.

As Commander of the Imperial Guard, Xiahou Zuo naturally led the escort to protect His Majesty on the journey to the Western Frontier.

On the road.

Yu Jiuling sat on the edge of a carriage dangling his legs, grinning to himself from time to time, which left Little Zhang Zhenren sitting beside him completely bewildered.

“What’s gotten into you?”

Little Zhang Zhenren asked.

Yu Jiuling grinned. “Nothing — just happy.”

Little Zhang Zhenren: “The happiness is obvious enough, and so is the spring in your eyes. Are you sure you’re not going to the Western Frontier for some other reason?”

Yu Jiuling: “I’m happy because of His Majesty and old Tang. Is that not enough?”

Little Zhang Zhenren: “That’s one thing. I’ll also calculate this — you haven’t left Chang’an for quite a stretch of time. When you can’t leave, your boldness shrivels, and you don’t dare get up to too much mischief inside Chang’an. Now, what did you say a moment ago — right before ‘then I’m just happy’?”

Yu Jiuling thought for a moment and answered, “I’ll find you a Western Region woman?”

Little Zhang Zhenren: “Take off the ‘for you,’ and that’s your real reason for this happiness. Seven parts out of ten, at least.”

Yu Jiuling glanced over at Little Zhang Zhenren. “Nonsense… though it’s surprisingly accurate.”

Little Zhang Zhenren shot him a withering look.

Yu Jiuling leaned in and lowered his voice. “I’ve heard that the women out in the Western Regions — waists like *this*, and chests like *this*…”

He said it while enthusiastically gesturing the dimensions with his hands.

Little Zhang Zhenren: “I’ll calculate again — you didn’t hear that.”

Yu Jiuling snickered. “Well, there was that one time… when the Western Region people were planning to assassinate His Majesty in the Celebration Garden, didn’t I get a look at a few of them? That red-haired one… *tsk, tsk, tsk.*”

Little Zhang Zhenren covered his face with his hands. “Those three sounds you just made are absolutely insufferable.”

Yu Jiuling waved it off. “What do you know — you call this insufferable? This is grand ambition. Last year, old Tang and Dantai led the army to conquer the Western Regions, winning glory for Great Ning. This year, I, Yu Jiuling, go to challenge the finest of the Western Region — that too is winning glory for Great Ning.”

Little Zhang Zhenren jumped down off the carriage. “I’m switching vehicles. Sitting next to you is liable to corrupt me.”

Yu Jiuling: “Come back here — when I go to challenge that red-haired Western Region type, I’ll bring you along, won’t I?”

Little Zhang Zhenren was silent for a moment, then climbed back up. “I only feel that your martial arts are not up to scratch. You might not be able to handle it alone, and we can’t afford to disgrace the martial world of the Central Plains.”

Yu Jiuling: “Exactly, exactly — well said.”

In the carriage ahead of theirs, Gao Yuanzhang, Changmei Daoren, and Old Zhang Zhenren were all riding together.

By rights, such a long journey — bone-weary from all that travel — was no place for three elders of their age. But all three of them had absolutely insisted on going, and even His Majesty had been unable to stop them. After all, even in front of these three elders, His Majesty’s authority didn’t quite carry full weight.

“Have you been to the Western Regions?”

Gao Yuanzhang asked Changmei Daoren. Changmei Daoren shook his head. “Though I’ve wandered the world all these years, most of the time I never even left Jizhou proper.”

Gao Yuanzhang looked over at Old Zhang Zhenren. “And you?”

Old Zhang Zhenren shook his head. “Never been.”

He paused, then said with a faint note of confidence, “But I have long made spiritual journeys there.”

Changmei Daoren looked him over from top to bottom.

Old Zhang Zhenren shot him a glare back.

Gao Yuanzhang said, “You two are different from me. Everything I know about the customs and culture of the Western Regions I’ve encountered only in the poetry and writings of those who came before. I’ve always yearned to see it for myself. Now that the chance has come, I absolutely must go and look.”

Changmei Daoren chuckled. “Some of what those predecessors wrote — it was probably not what they truly wanted to write. Certain things just couldn’t be put to the page openly.”

Gao Yuanzhang: “Shameless!”

Changmei Daoren: “What did I say that was shameless…”

Gao Yuanzhang: “Everything you say is shameless!”

Old Zhang Zhenren opened his mouth to say something, and Gao Yuanzhang shot him a glare first. “You’re shameless too!”

Old Zhang Zhenren let out a sigh. “The three of us are over two hundred years old combined, and still carrying on with this kind of chatter — how are we supposed to set any example for the younger generation?”

Gao Yuanzhang said, “I am upright and full of virtue. Setting an example is something I am perfectly capable of — unlike the two of you.”

Old Zhang Zhenren: “Then tell us honestly — who is it you want to set an example for?”

Gao Yuanzhang was quiet for a moment, then said with great solemnity: “Go fetch Yu Jiuling.”

Half a month later — the Western Frontier, Liangzhou City.

Messengers from Chang’an arrived well ahead of the main imperial procession, so Tang Pidi, having received word in advance, brought his family ahead to Liangzhou to await His Majesty’s arrival.

Dantai Yajing glanced at old Tang’s expression and, unable to stop himself, let out a stifled laugh.

“Grand Marshal, Grand Marshal — this is the first time I’ve ever seen a trace of nervousness on your face.”

Tang Pidi let out a sigh. “I don’t know how His Majesty will berate me when he arrives. How could I not be nervous?”

Dantai Yajing said, “And whose fault is that?”

Tang Pidi: “By rights I should blame His Majesty — I keep making mistakes, and His Majesty should be handing down punishment. Instead, His Majesty has indulged me time and again without restraint. That is truly inequitable…”

Dantai Yajing: “Pfft!”

Tang Pidi smiled, then asked Dantai Yajing, “His Majesty is coming to the Western Frontier this time and will likely be staying for a while — he may even want to visit the border garrison. Have you made all the necessary arrangements?”

Dantai Yajing nodded. “The matters concerning His Majesty’s safety are more or less in order. I’m just still a little uneasy.”

Tang Pidi suddenly asked him, “If I tried to assassinate His Majesty — what excuse do you think he’d come up with?”

Dantai Yajing was startled. “Grand Marshal, have you actually lost your mind?!”

Tang Pidi sighed. “If I had actually lost my mind, I would truly do it. But I haven’t.”

He stood up and stretched, then said, “I suppose there is simply nothing more I can do.”

Dantai Yajing nodded. “Accept your fate.”

Just then, someone stepped in from outside and bowed. “Grand Marshal, Tang Anchen, bearing his family, has arrived thirty li outside Liangzhou City.”

Though Tang Anchen was not the Grand Marshal of the Western Frontier, he had been stationed on the Inner Steppes for the past several years. After Borte Chino departed for the Outer Steppes, the Inner Steppes could not be left unattended, so Li Chi had transferred Tang Anchen to that posting for nearly two years now.

The Inner Steppes were not far from Liangzhou. With His Majesty arriving, Tang Anchen naturally had to come and welcome the imperial visit.

Tang Pidi and Dantai Yajing exchanged a glance. Both stepped forward at the same time to go greet them at the city gate.

Before long, outside the city walls of Liangzhou, Tang Pidi spotted Tang Anchen’s traveling party arriving. A smile came to the corners of his lips.

But just at that moment, he saw a small boy crawl out of a carriage and, for no apparent reason, lash one of the guards standing beside the carriage with a whip.

Then burst into delighted laughter, looking exceedingly pleased with himself.

—