“What kind of person does Grandmother like, and what does Concubine want?” Ying Jie’er asked anxiously. Recalling scenes from the operas she had watched — where an illegitimate daughter was given away to be someone’s concubine, how utterly wretched — her heart seized with alarm. “Zhu Jie’er won’t be married off as a concubine, will she?”

“Of course not. Don’t worry yourself too much.”

Lin Shi gently stroked her daughter’s hair. Seeing how kind-hearted her daughter was, fretting over another’s troubles, Lin Shi felt a twinge of bitterness rise in her own chest.

She continued to explain to her daughter: “In a household like ours, who would do something so degrading? Even an illegitimate daughter follows her father. When she is presented to others, she represents the face of an Earl’s manor. Your grandmother values respectability — she would never make such a plan.”

Of course, outside these walls there were petty, undistinguished little households, and even in the shadowy corners of great houses, there were plenty of shameless, filthy dealings — where the mistress treated concubines and illegitimate children like slaves and servants, tormenting and humiliating them. Such things were not without basis.

Fortunately, although the Jingchuan Earl’s manor had long since lost its former glory, it still maintained a clean reputation.

That was why Lin Shi dared to speak as she did.

“Though it may not be as a concubine, that doesn’t necessarily mean things will be good.” Lin Shi said. “Your grandmother was born into wealth and married into wealth. She is accustomed to alliances forged through family marriages, and when it comes to a woman’s matrimonial affairs, she invariably carries a measure of arrogance and indifference. Moreover, Zhu Jie’er is merely an illegitimate child, and she has always been too eager to outshine others — she has never been in your grandmother’s good graces. For an illegitimate granddaughter, if a noble family comes seeking her hand, and the family’s rank is comparable and of some use to the Pei family, I’m afraid the Old Madam would in seven or eight cases out of ten give her nod of approval.”

“Your eldest sister was matched only with a family from the scholarly gentry. As for Zhu Jie’er — those families that don’t distinguish between legitimate and illegitimate children won’t be available to her. The choices left to her are nothing more than an illegitimate son from some obscure branch family, or becoming someone’s second wife.”

The Jingchuan Earl’s manor had made some progress over the years, with Pei Bingyuan posted away as an official. Yet it was still not enough to command respect. The two brothers Huai Ge’er and Jin Ge’er showed considerable promise, but they were still young, having only cleared the entry-level county examinations. They were a world away from achieving anything significant in the imperial examinations. At a time like this, there was nothing to inspire others to look at them differently.

Lin Shi went through everything clearly and plainly with her daughter, one point at a time — telling her about Zhu Jie’er’s situation, yes, but also teaching her how to navigate the world in the future.

“If she could be matched with a promising illegitimate son from a branch family, set up as a separate household, and live a peaceful, stable life — that would actually be good. The worry is that even such an option might not come Zhu Jie’er’s way. Just recently, that Yousi from the Shengchang Marquis family found no suitable match in the capital and ended up being married off to Chengdu prefecture. Then there’s this: what if after marrying in, she discovers her husband is a drunkard and a gambler, has a whole brood of children already, is bed-ridden with illness, or has an unnatural preference for men? Wouldn’t that mean she’d be entering what looks like splendor on the outside, but is really a pit of real fire? That’s the fear — exactly that kind of situation.”

“How many dirty, sordid things are hidden in each household? Those can only be discovered after one has actually married in. That is precisely why Concubine Shen has no choice but to make plans for Zhu Jie’er early on.”

“Right now, your father has been posted away as an official and isn’t home — he can’t look after things here. Your grandfather, meanwhile, is soft-eared and easily swayed. If some grand and prestigious household, having noticed that Zhu Jie’er has some ability, sets its sights on her, and the Old Madam gives her approval — then tell me, should Zhu Jie’er marry or not? If she doesn’t, she’d be accused of being unfilial and disobedient. Not only would her reputation be ruined, but it would drag down Jin Ge’er’s chances in the imperial examinations. If she does marry, and life there turns out to be unsettled, Jin Ge’er would be consumed with worry for his elder sister, and his studies would suffer. All in all, it’s a predicament with no good way out. If one doesn’t want to fall into such a predicament, the only option is to make plans early.”

“Thinking it through like this, if I were in her place, I too would find a way to arrange for Zhu Jie’er to marry into a decent, modest family. Even a family of farming scholars would be better than taking risks with a noble house. If Jin Ge’er one day succeeds in the imperial examinations, Zhu Jie’er would also be able to rise along with him.”

“What’s unfortunate is that your two sisters are approaching the age of the coming-of-age ceremony, yet your two younger brothers are still children — they can’t yet offer you any protection. The timing is wrong. If it were ten more years from now, perhaps things would look quite different.”

Lin Shi’s own marriage had followed a similar path — only she had been somewhat luckier. How could she not understand these principles?

Lin Shi continued: “Don’t be fooled by how well-behaved Concubine Shen is day to day, never having exchanged a harsh word with anyone. She is a woman of strong convictions, and she knows how to prepare for difficulties before they arrive. If she were to let Zhu Jie’er continue studying the zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting, and learning how to manage household accounts, there would be two dangers: first, the Old Madam might misinterpret this and think Zhu Jie’er is preparing herself to marry into a noble house, assuming that such skills would help her navigate the scheming in a grand household; second, she fears that once Zhu Jie’er gains a small measure of proficiency, and some reputation spreads — the ‘talented young lady’ or ‘capable household manager’ kind — that reputation wouldn’t attract butterflies, but would only draw flies. Better not to study at all, then.”

“The reason she won’t let Zhu Jie’er go out is the same. If she stays tucked away in her rooms, they can simply wait for your father to complete his term and return — and then he can handle the matter of finding her a match. In the meantime, as long as no one comes along to set their sights on Zhu Jie’er, the Old Madam shouldn’t go out of her way to push a granddaughter out the door on her own initiative.”

“When all is said and done: your grandmother has grown accustomed to family alliances, and she approaches a woman’s marriage from the perspective of clan interest. Concubine Shen, on the other hand, understands in her bones that only the one drinking the water knows whether it is cold or warm. The two of them are at cross-purposes.”

Lin Shi had spoken at length, and finally looked at her daughter. She said: “This is all my own reasoning — but it likely isn’t far off. Ying’er, do you understand?”

Ying Jie’er was leaning against her mother’s shoulder, holding her mother’s hands. The tears she had been holding back all along finally refused to be restrained, flowing freely down her cheeks. She nodded and answered: “Ying’er understands. Concubine Shen is planning far ahead for Zhu Jie’er’s future. Even if I want nothing more than to go find Zhu Jie’er and play, I ought to hold myself back and not disturb them. Mother, does Zhu Jie’er really have to stay in that tiny courtyard at Fengyu Pavilion all the time?”

Lin Shi sighed and said: “She simply needs to stay indoors — that much is clear. As for why Concubine Shen has confined Zhu Jie’er to Fengyu Pavilion itself, I haven’t quite been able to reason that out.”

“Zhu Jie’er is such a wonderful person. She may be driven and determined, but she has never once gotten in anyone else’s way — that was originally a fine quality. And now she must hide it and suppress it.” Ying Jie’er choked out the words. “Whenever I think of this, daughter feels so stifled and helpless, as though I can’t do a thing to help, and all the strength goes out of me.”

But what made Ying Jie’er feel so powerless was not only Zhu Jie’er’s situation. She too would one day have to marry. She too would one day have to conceal herself and suppress herself.

Lin Shi thought of what Lian Jie’er had said when Lan Jie’er married away — “In this world, women simply have a harder time of it” — and repeated those words to her daughter. Then she added: “Foolish child. A woman’s body is not her own to command. She does not choose the family she is born into, nor does she choose the man her parents’ orders bind her to. You can barely look after yourself — how could you help her? It is enough that you carry this care in your heart.” They were all like seeds fallen into fertile soil — taking root, sprouting, growing into fine green shoots, only to be uprooted by another’s hand and replanted elsewhere. No telling whether that new earth would be barren or rich.

“So daughter will also have a day when she cannot command her own life…” Ying Jie’er murmured.

Taking the opportunity before her, Lin Shi voiced her thoughts about her daughter’s future marriage. She said: “Mother’s origins may not have been distinguished, but I at least have a maternal family. Your eldest maternal uncle has some silver to his name, and now I manage the entire Earl’s manor, so my word carries some small weight. After your coming-of-age ceremony, I will not allow them to casually decide your marriage.”

“Mother’s thinking is the same as Concubine Shen’s: not seeking noble connections, only seeking what is long-lasting and good.” Lin Shi said. “A girl of eighteen or nineteen is not too old to be betrothed. By the time you reach that age, perhaps your younger brother will have already achieved something in the imperial examinations. If you wait until then to discuss marriage, you will have more to stand on. Mother’s abilities are limited — this is all I can do. For more than this, one must still rely on Huai’er.”

Then she murmured to herself: “He rises every day before dawn to light his lamp and recites books until daybreak. He is a diligent child.”

In her heart, Lin Shi understood perfectly well that no matter how outstanding her son might become, for him to become his sisters’ pillar of support was not something that could be achieved in a short while.

She only wanted to set Ying Jie’er’s mind at ease.

Ying Jie’er, who understood this, nodded sensibly.

……

……

Fengyu Pavilion.

When daylight came, after breakfast had been had in the small courtyard, Concubine Shen saw Zhu Jie’er sitting by the window, chin propped in her hands, gazing quietly outside.

The children of the Pei family were all striking in appearance, and Zhu Jie’er was no exception. She had inherited Concubine Shen’s jet-black hair and snow-pale skin, and from her father she had taken his brow and eyes. Her bone structure was rounded and soft. Having studied the zither and court manners under a female tutor, she had gained a refined air, and the whole of her had become all the more luminous and pleasing to behold.

Such looks, though not the kind that struck everyone breathless at first glance, were the kind that suited all shades — she could wear plain silk and cotton with ease, and equally carry heavy ornamental peonies with grace.

At that moment, framed by the small window, she looked like — a young girl gazing outward, quietly breeding her restless discontent, with no place to lay her sorrows.

Concubine Shen brought over a flat, round bamboo sieve. With a whooshing, rattling sound, beans clattered within — red beans and green beans bouncing and jostling against each other, until they mixed together into a motley jumble, impossible to tell apart without careful looking.

Concubine Shen said: “Come.”

As on every other day: picking the beans apart one by one, then mixing them together again, round and round without end.

This was originally a pastime for widowed women to while away their days — but Concubine Shen had turned it into a means of grinding away Zhu Jie’er’s sharp edges and corners.

Zhu Jie’er looked up at Concubine Shen and said: “Mother?” Her words were full of entreaty, hoping her mother would not make her pick beans again.

She could bear not leaving the courtyard — but surely there were other things she could do?

“I can only hold your person here — I cannot hold your heart.” Concubine Shen said with a stern face. “There is no use pleading with me. Pick the beans quickly — unless you no longer wish to call me your mother.”

The Concubine Shen who spoke so resolutely was entirely unlike her usual self.

Zhu Jie’er lowered her head and began to pick the beans. A handful filled her palm; she dropped them into the porcelain jar with a steady, rhythmic tap-tap-tap.

At the same time, teardrops fell into the sieve, landing on the beans with their own quiet patter-patter-patter.

Her fingertips reached into the sieve, and her movements gradually slowed to a halt. This past month — she had no idea how many times she had done this. And going forward, she had no idea how many more times still lay ahead.

Seeing her daughter like this, a pang of bitterness welled up in Concubine Shen’s heart, and she could no longer hold her stern expression. Her daughter’s heart was broken like this — how could she remain unmoved?

Concubine Shen walked over and sat down beside Zhu Jie’er, letting her daughter lean against her shoulder. She gently stroked her hair and said: “Zhu’er, if you want to cry, then cry. Mother knows the pain in your heart.”

The beans in Zhu Jie’er’s hand loosened and scattered across the floor. She burst into broken, sobbing cries, threw her arms around Concubine Shen and said: “Daughter understands that Mother does this for my own good — but my heart is just so unbearably pained. I know my birth is low, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot surpass others. And yet I cannot help wanting to try, wanting to learn more, wanting to develop more ability.”

“You are the child I gave birth to — how could I not know your nature? I have been suppressing you since you were small, never letting you stand out, precisely because I feared you would grow up too competitive and glory-seeking.” Concubine Shen comforted her daughter with earnest words. “Two years ago, I had originally resigned myself to fate — I thought to let you learn more skills, so that if the Old Madam truly did arrange a complicated household for you in the future, you could at least hold your own. But now your younger brother has taken up his studies, taken his first step forward — and that has given me hope again. I can’t help but want to find you a peaceful life.”

“Mother’s heart — daughter understands all of it.” Zhu Jie’er replied.

“Zhu’er, endure these few years. When your father returns, or if some opportunity arises, I will only find a way to petition him — to seek a modest, ordinary household for you, to be married in as a proper, first-rank mistress. Your children after you would be able to live as fully legitimate people. The day your younger brother succeeds in the imperial examinations — that will be the day you too have finally emerged from hardship.” Concubine Shen said.

This hope had taken root in her heart the moment Jin Ge’er passed the county examination.

Both were born of her own body. How could she look after only one? If she did not make plans for her daughter, was she to rely on others? What Concubine Shen could do was little — but at least she had begun.

“There is one more thing I want you to remember, Zhu’er.” Concubine Shen continued. “In this household, the fact that legitimate and illegitimate children are not differentiated is not how things are supposed to be, and the world outside is absolutely not like this. It is simply that we have been fortunate enough to encounter a main mistress who is reasonable and understanding, and you have a father who is upright and devoted to his studies. When I was a maidservant, I witnessed far too many of the filthy tactics born from conflict between legitimate and illegitimate children. Behind high walls, it is never a peaceful place. Without any support to stand on, one will only be oppressed constantly.”

Finally, Concubine Shen advised: “If you don’t want to pick beans, then embroider, or practice your writing — but at all costs, stay within this courtyard and properly smooth away the barbs and spines that have grown over these past two years. Put aside any ambition to prove yourself.”

Zhu Jie’er wept as she answered: “Mother, daughter understands.”

……

That day, at the morning greetings.

The Old Madam learned of Concubine Shen having confined Zhu Jie’er to her quarters, and rebuked Concubine Shen: “She is already an illegitimate girl without good prospects for marriage — and you still confine her? If she doesn’t go out more, broaden her horizons and see the world a bit, do you think some fine match is just going to deliver himself to our door here in the capital?”

“The Old Madam’s reprimand is right. This servant was short-sighted.” Concubine Shen did not argue. She then added: “The two young masters are working hard at their studies and making great progress. Zhu Jie’er has always been restless since she was little — this servant fears she might go out and cause some trouble, do something she shouldn’t, and end up impeding her two brothers. That is why this servant has had her stay in the courtyard to temper her temperament.”

The reason Concubine Shen gave was one the Old Madam could hardly argue against — the young masters’ examinations were indeed an important matter.

It was the Old Madam herself who had raised Lan Jie’er, after all.

The Old Madam then asked: “Zhu Jie’er is no longer young. What plans do you have for her marriage? Though it is not strictly your affair, she is still the child you bore — I ought to ask your thoughts.”

Concubine Shen pretended to consider for a moment, then said: “This servant’s vision is too narrow. Perhaps it would be better to wait for the master to return and let Zhu’er follow her father’s decision.”

The Old Madam gave a slight nod and said: “Bingyuan’s term is three years — waiting for him to return is still in time. He has a good eye for people. Just look at how Lian Jie’er lives now — does she fall short of any girl from a distinguished family?”

Lin Shi, standing to one side, added a few well-placed words to flatter the Old Madam: “Mother is absolutely right. Huai Ge’er and Jin Ge’er have already passed the county examination, and next month they will take the prefecture examination. At this rate, perhaps within just a few years, the two brothers will both obtain their provincial degrees. When that day comes, the two unmarried young ladies in our household — won’t every family in the capital be vying to seek their hand? What is the hurry for these two years?”

Ever since Huai Ge’er and Jin Ge’er had claimed the top two places in the county examination, the Old Madam was delighted whenever the subject was raised.

“You are right.” The Old Madam replied. “If a noble family comes seeking to marry, that is another matter. But if no one comes, waiting a few more years is perfectly fine.”

Lin Shi and Concubine Shen’s eyes briefly met, then parted. Both replied in agreement: “Mother (Old Madam) is absolutely right.”

……

……

Pei Shaohuai and Pei Shaojin were preparing for the prefecture examination, with time pressing — so naturally, the matter of Zhu Jie’er had not been made known to them, for fear of distracting their studies.

With half a month remaining until the prefecture examination, the tutor taught the day’s lesson and took out a copy of The Doctrine of the Mean.

Master Duan said: “Today, we will revisit a sentence from The Doctrine of the Mean: ‘All things are nourished together without their injuring one another; the courses of the seasons and of the sun and moon are pursued without any collision among them.'”

The three young boys looked at one another. Had they not studied this passage long ago? They had even written essays on it.

They had no idea what their tutor was planning.

“Shaojin, what does this passage mean?”

“Responding to Master: all things are nurtured and reared in this world, sharing wind and rain alike, flourishing together. The ten thousand principles and rules of the world operate in concert, without contradiction.”

“Yancheng, what is the essential meaning of this passage?”

“Responding to Master: tolerance — the tolerance of all things coexisting in this world.”

“Shaohuai, where can this passage be applied?”

“Responding to Master: from the minute and the fine to the vast and boundless — within all under Heaven, between official and commoner, poor and wealthy, ruler and minister, nation and nation — it may be applied to all.”

“Well said.”

Master Duan closed The Doctrine of the Mean, then made his true intention clear: “This passage may also be applied to the imperial examinations.”

He then said: “Each person is different, and their thoughts naturally differ as well. The three of you are each different from one another, and between the three of you and the chief examiner, there will naturally be points of divergence too. In the examination hall, what is to be done? ‘The courses of the seasons and of the sun and moon are pursued without any collision among them’ — naturally, one seeks out the points of convergence and steers away from the contradictions. This is what ‘tolerance’ means. Do you understand?”

The three young boys nodded.

Perhaps fearing his three students had not fully grasped it, the tutor then said it more plainly: “In the prefecture examination half a month from now, the chief examiner is Prefect Zhang Lingyi of Shuntian Prefecture. Based on his writings over the years, there are certain points of view he strongly disagrees with — I have already gone through them all with you. When you sit the examination, you must learn to steer clear of those points, and approach the essay from a different angle — finding the common ground.”

In truth, this was a very practical matter: the three of them were the examinees, and Prefect Zhang was the chief examiner. The examiner was above; the examinee below. If they were to deliberately write about things the chief examiner disliked, wouldn’t that simply be vexing the man? What hope would there be of making the list?

Pei Shaohuai had an adult’s understanding within him, and he quickly grasped the tutor’s intent. He was also moved by the care the tutor had taken in explaining it this way — for the tutor spoke of finding points of convergence, not of flattery, deference, or following the crowd blindly.

The tutor hoped they would be able to maintain independent thought while also being able to fit into this world — a world that harbored many unspoken “rules” beneath its surface.

This was the way of the golden mean.

What deep care and effort lay behind it.

……

By the fourth month, the capital had filled with young scholars, which made plain that the prefecture examination was about to begin.

Shuntian Prefecture had jurisdiction over the two counties of Wanping and Daxing. All students within both counties who had passed the first round of the county examination were eligible to register for the prefecture examination. Though it encompassed only two counties — fewer than many other prefectures — the number of students registered to sit the prefecture examination was in no way less than elsewhere, reaching well over eight hundred in total.

After all, the capital region had more than its share of prosperous households, with the means to cultivate scholars — it was only natural.

In the end, only about eighty candidates would be admitted — one out of every ten — making it considerably harder than the county examination.

The Jingchuan Earl’s manor was not far from the prefecture examination grounds, so the three young boys had no need to rent rooms at an inn in advance. Like the county examination, the prefecture examination was divided into five sessions, each lasting one day. The most important session was the first — the main sitting.

On the ninth day of the fourth month, the main sitting commenced.