Suzhen’s throat felt as if someone were gripping it tightly. What exactly did he want to say?

She seemed to somewhat guess what he wanted to say, yet also seemed completely unable to fathom his thoughts.

What was clearest was that she had returned, but they were no longer as they once were. It was only one night’s time, yet so many changes had occurred.

Indeed, originally, the unpredictable changes of human life are mostly within reason but beyond expectation, catching people off guard.

“Rest first, we’ll talk later.” At this tense moment, these were the words that came from his mouth.

“Whatever you need, tell Xuanwu directly. As long as it’s not leaving, I’ll arrange for all your requests to be fulfilled. That place of yours isn’t safe yet. The matter with Baihu isn’t the reason I confined you.”

Talk later? Are you toying with me or what! Suzhen almost lost control and threw the wine jar at him.

After saying this, he turned to leave.

“You said to tell Xuanwu whatever I need directly—what if I want to see you at any time?” Suzhen’s mind filled with ten thousand stampeding llamas as she immediately returned his favor, emphasizing the words “at any time” particularly loudly.

Lian Yu’s figure froze at the doorway!

Suzhen waited to see the show.

“During this period, no matter when you want to see me, tell Xuanwu, and I’ll come to see you immediately, except during court sessions.”

His voice was extremely light, yet very powerful. Then he opened the door and went out.

“Before you deem it safe and allow me to leave this period, choose between her and me. This would be good for everyone.”

That jar of wine was ultimately put down by her. In the end, she only said this.

The two doors closed with light papping sounds, the aftershock making the gauze paper on the doors tremble slightly.

After a moment, estimating that he had already left, Suzhen walked to the door and pushed it open.

He seemed not to have had Xuanwu lock it immediately.

Xuanwu was playing with a flower plucked from under the corridor, lounging on the railing as she had done earlier. Seeing her emerge, he quickly jumped down and nodded to her, putting on a show of standing at attention. A picture of proper military discipline. The imperial guards, however, all stood ramrod straight, weapons at their waists, utterly meticulous.

Suzhen had no mind for banter with him, looking up at the cold night sky, blue silk like fabric.

Lian Yu… She had thought he was going to bid farewell, thought he would find her request difficult and hesitate. But she had guessed wrong on both counts. One question had no answer, the other was somewhat beyond her expectations, but regardless, she was very clear about A’luo’s importance in his heart.

What should she do?

She had asked him to choose, but what about her? What should she do?

If he hadn’t come tonight, it would have been easier to handle. She could have let it end like this, no matter how painful and resentful this ending might be.

If Shuangcheng were still just Shuangcheng, she would certainly fight her to the death. When Li Zhaoting had many women around him before, she had experience in dealing with such situations.

But Shuangcheng was A’luo.

In this world, everything should still follow the principle of first come, first served. If she had criticized the scholar in the Mochou case for breaking his promise to his originally betrothed girl, then when it came to herself, she shouldn’t avoid the issue.

Who doesn’t encounter several people in a lifetime? Who can guarantee that while loving one person, they won’t fall in love with another? But what should one do when they love another person while still loving the first?

That’s why there are three documents and six rites, white-headed promises, and marital bonds.

She didn’t mind his concubines because Lian Yu’s status was special—the three palaces and six courtyards couldn’t be avoided for now.

And A’luo and Lian Yu, though not yet married, had made a white-headed promise. If this girl hadn’t been “absent,” then the ruler would still be ruler, the minister still minister. Even if she had been somewhat different in Lian Yu’s life, it would only be because she was a female top scholar, a female court official.

She didn’t consider herself comparable to Wuyan, having never been a particularly virtuous person since childhood. If it were Shuangcheng or Miaoyin, she would certainly kill whoever she encountered. But when it came to morality and righteousness, she had her own principles.

“Director Li, what are you thinking about?”

Beside her, Xuanwu’s gossipy voice suddenly reached her ears.

“I don’t know what to do.” She shrugged at him, telling him everything she had been thinking without concealment.

Xuanwu had probably never expected this Director Li to have such an honest moment. Having just seen her without complaint, he had climbed back onto the railing. Hearing this, he was somewhat surprised and nearly fell off the rail.

Suzhen found it amusing and clapped in encouragement.

Xuanwu, embarrassed and angry, stood there with hands behind his back, cold and noble, silent for a long while.

“Director Li,” just when Suzhen thought there would be nothing more and was about to return to her room, she suddenly heard his voice behind her.

“When you first met the master, you knew nothing of Miss A’luo being alive. You did nothing wrong. Similarly, in the master’s heart, you were then a person worthy of a hundred-year promise. He also did nothing wrong. Since this is so, yielding is righteous, but fighting—how could that be wrong either?”

“Today the master faces too many unavoidable circumstances. If you suffer one part, he surely suffers ten parts. Director Li, I hope you can show understanding.”

This was the first time Suzhen had heard Xuanwu speak in such a serious tone. Her heart was filled with countless thoughts, then suddenly became clear!

Actually, without Xuanwu saying it, she understood the pain in Lian Yu’s heart.

That sentence from Lian Yu was actually meant to ask: She has returned—are you still willing to be with me?

But he didn’t ask.

Instead, he “bribed” her with the ice cellar.

She asked him why he spoke now of next year’s gift.

He said no particular reason.

In reality, he wanted to show her favor, then ask that question.

But in the end, he still didn’t ask.

He gave her respect.

Perhaps from the moment she discovered his presence in the room, her heart had been clear as a mirror. It was just that his nervousness and protective love for A’luo had stabbed her deeply, making her pain no less than his, making her want to leave.

But she truly couldn’t bear to part with him.

If Little Zhou were here, she would surely mock and look down on her.

But she had decided not just to seek verbal satisfaction, but to truly compete with Shuangcheng.

A thorough, satisfying contest, regardless of the outcome.

Even if she lost, she would have one less regret in the future.

She loved Lian Yu. More than everyone around Lian Yu thought, even more than Lian Yu himself imagined.

If he and Shuangcheng were childhood sweethearts, she and Li Zhaoting were also childhood companions. She and Lian Yu had actually both experienced each other’s growth.

If today she could truly leave just like this, then perhaps her feelings for him had never been that deep to begin with.

This world is very wondrous, and people are very strange. Sometimes in life you encounter too many people, making you unable to help being fickle, but sometimes when you fall in love with someone, you have the feeling that you’ll never encounter another person who moves you like this again.

At this thought, she suddenly laughed.

Long ago, she had asked Lian Yu why he liked her. Lian Yu said it was because the person he met in that forest years ago was her, not someone else. Years later, like the first rabbit in the tale of waiting by a stump for rabbits, she had again encountered him. The right timing, the right person, and a certain amount of fate.

“Director Li, Director Li…”

As she turned to thank Xuanwu, she saw someone urgently calling from beyond the imperial guard perimeter.

The guards made way, and Suzhen saw it was the old court physician. Beside him were two others—one was a young apprentice, the other was Ming Yanchu.

The old man was covered in sweat, his clothes disheveled. He had obviously been urgently summoned from sleep, his hair bun also askew. Normally, Suzhen would certainly laugh at him, but at this moment, she couldn’t.

That person still cared about her.

But the old court physician wasn’t as calm as her expression suggested. His face showed urgent concern: “Aiya, Director Li, quickly let this old man examine you.”

Ming Yanchu nodded to Xuanwu in greeting, then respectfully bowed to her: “His Majesty ordered this servant to wait outside. Once the examination is complete, I must immediately go report to him.”

“In His Majesty’s heart, he cares greatly about Director Li.” Before the imperial guards, beside the physician, he lowered his voice to add this sentence.

Though Suzhen had made up her mind, hearing these words added a touch of sourness to her heart.

“But no matter how much he cares, he still has to go back and accompany that young lady.” she replied.

“This…” Even Ming Yanchu, eloquent as he was, was momentarily speechless.

Suzhen was just speaking directly, not intending to make things difficult for him. Seeing his situation, she said nothing more and went directly inside with the old court physician…

This night passed just like that.

The old court physician re-treated Suzhen’s wound and prescribed medicine.

But whether that severed fingertip had been recovered but could no longer be reattached, or had already been carried off and eaten by wild dogs or cats, remained unknown.

Suzhen didn’t ask either. She knew that Lian Yu was more concerned about this matter than she was. In any case, since it wasn’t brought back, the matter was settled.

At the same time, she was very cooperative, neither playing tricks nor threatening with her life as before to make Lian Yu let her out.

Because she knew that Lian Yu understood her very well, knowing she wasn’t someone who ignored the big picture. Going out rashly would only bring danger to everyone at the Court of Judicial Review, though she knew in her heart that those assassins wouldn’t harm her. Because of Feng Shaoying.

If she insisted on returning to the Court of Judicial Review, it would inevitably arouse Lian Yu’s suspicion about why she treated this group of assassins so lightly. Without Shuangcheng needing to say anything, that would become another big trouble. She had to protect her only brother.

On the other hand, for several consecutive days, she made no request to see Lian Yu. She wanted him to miss her.

But what made her want to find a block of tofu to knock her head against was that Lian Yu also never came to see her again. Neither openly nor secretly. Instead, she—pretending to sleep at night for several days—had developed dark circles under her eyes and lost weight all around.

During this time, she asked Xuanwu about the results of Lian Yu’s interrogation of the assassins.

This interrogation result was crucially important—it related both to Feng Shaoying’s safety and to her agreed time with Lian Yu. But Xuanwu said he didn’t know, claiming he was responsible for her security and had never gone out to gossip.

At first, Suzhen could still keep her composure, but after several days, she began to worry. She wasn’t afraid that Lian Yu wouldn’t let her out—Lian Yu wouldn’t confine her for life!

But Lian Yu was such a shrewd person. If he got any information about Feng Shaoying from the assassins’ mouths, could he let this brother go as he had let her go, this brother who believed he had killed their parents?

Was what Xuanwu said true or false? She always felt that something big had happened outside. No, she couldn’t wait any longer. She had to get out!

Sorry for not updating the past two days. Here’s 500 words as a gift for everyone. See you next update.