Chun Xin Dong – Chapter 73

Pei Xueqing stumbled over words of comfort several times, but they never left her mouth.

If the person before her was truly just a pampered, naive princess who wanted for nothing, she might have advised Jiang Zhiyi to be more optimistic and not worry about things that hadn’t yet happened.

But considering the Duke of Ningguo who sacrificed himself covering the Emperor’s retreat during the war, or the Duchess of Ningguo who died for her beloved and abandoned her daughter, or even the Fourth Prince who chose his career over his childhood sweetheart—for someone who had experienced such losses, words like “optimism” might sound less like comfort and more like mockery.

Moreover, with the Shen family’s background, even if they sought nothing and did nothing, merely existing in the world was already fraught with danger and difficulty. If they were to pursue anything further, it would undoubtedly be like licking blood from a knife’s edge. Jiang Zhiyi’s concerns were not unfounded.

As an outsider, how could she persuade someone scarred with countless wounds to trust a man walking on a knife’s edge—to believe he could have it both ways, to believe they could achieve fulfillment?

If fulfillment were so easily attained in this world, why would she be eternally separated from the one she loved?

After much consideration, Pei Xueqing said nothing but asked: “Have you shared these concerns with General Shen?”

Jiang Zhiyi shook her head. “I haven’t figured out what I want yet. Telling him would only add to his burden. I’ll speak with him once I’ve made up my mind.”

Just outside the tent, Shen Yuance stood silently by the entrance. Hearing no more conversation within, his hand at his side slowly clenched into a fist.

Suddenly, footsteps approached from behind. As someone began to say “Young—”, Shen Yuance turned and gestured for silence. Glancing at the food container in San Qi’s hand, he nodded, indicating that he should take it inside.

San Qi silently complied, bringing the evening meal into the tent.

Inside, Jiang Zhiyi’s voice rose again, her earlier despondency gone: “Where’s your Young General? Isn’t he joining me for dinner?”

—She sounded cheerful, as if without a care in the world.

At the Hour of the Dog that night, Shen Yuance finished the evening training and accompanied Jiang Zhiyi into the carriage returning to the city.

During these days with Jiang Zhiyi’s company, Shen Yuance had ridden in the carriage with her every night when returning to the manor. Today, with Pei Xueqing present, he sat in the front compartment. With one leg bent, he leaned against the door, listening to the two women chatting inside.

Throughout the journey, it was mostly Jiang Zhiyi asking questions—whether Pei Xueqing had prepared her luggage for returning to the capital, mentioning that as May approached, the journey back would be in midsummer, and she might need to bring cooling items. She also asked what Pei Xueqing planned to do after returning to Chang’an, urged her to write and report her safe arrival, and to tell her about the latest fashions in the capital.

Upon reaching Qingle Inn, Shen Yuance leaped lightly from the carriage, making room for the others to alight.

Pei Xueqing came out, stepping down onto the footstool. She bowed to Shen Yuance: “Thank you, General Shen, for allowing me into the camp today. I’ll be returning to the capital in a few days. Since you’re busy, I’ll take this opportunity to bid you farewell in advance.”

Shen Yuance nodded. “Take care on your journey.”

Jiang Zhiyi followed, descending from the carriage. She stepped forward and took both of Pei Xueqing’s hands: “Sister Xueqing, you have a long road ahead. From now on, look forward.”

Pei Xueqing lowered her eyes with a smile and, after a moment, returned the grip on Jiang Zhiyi’s hands: “Take good care of yourself, too. I’ll wait for you in Chang’an to fly kites together.”

After watching Pei Xueqing enter the inn, a woman’s sigh broke the silence of the inner alley. Jiang Zhiyi, gazing at Pei Xueqing’s retreating figure, said softly: “She told me today that having visited the military camp, she’s bid farewell to the last place. Her wishes for this journey are fulfilled, with no regrets… But just now, she didn’t respond to my words about ‘looking forward.'”

Shen Yuance suddenly turned to look at Jiang Zhiyi: “What if you were her?”

“What?” Jiang Zhiyi was startled.

“If you were her, could you look forward on the road ahead?”

Meeting Shen Yuance’s unwavering gaze, Jiang Zhiyi thought in silence for a long time. Finally, she lifted her chin: “Why couldn’t I?”

Shen Yuance raised an eyebrow.

“I’m only seventeen. My life ahead is still long. Am I supposed to remain a widow my entire life for someone who wasn’t even my husband? If I were her, I would eat well, drink well, revel in music every night, travel the world, and make many new friends… What past acquaintance cannot be forgotten by making new ones? If there is such a person, I would make ten new friends, a hundred!”

Shen Yuance lowered his head, interlacing his fingers with hers, gripping each of her fingers firmly: “Who would give you that chance?”

Jiang Zhiyi lowered her eyes to look at their clasped hands, feeling each of his fingers holding hers with unusual strength.

“Tonight, you—” Did he overhear her conversation with Pei Xueqing? Jiang Zhiyi wondered suspiciously.

“I tonight?” Shen Yuance blinked, waiting for her to continue.

Jiang Zhiyi blinked back: “Did you wash your hands?”

“…”

Shen Yuance pulled her back to the carriage. Sitting beside her, he raised his other hand to knead her fair cheek: “What if I didn’t?”

Jiang Zhiyi slapped his hand away: “You’re pinching my face so hard it hurts. You’re not allowed on my bed tonight!”

As if she weren’t the one who eagerly invited him every night, and not content with just having him on her bed, she still wanted him to hold her. Since the weather had grown warmer and her nightclothes thinner, he hadn’t had a full night’s sleep on her bed.

“That’s fine. I’ll get a good rest tonight.” Shen Yuance leaned back against the carriage wall and closed his eyes.

Jiang Zhiyi turned to glare at him: “Is it that I move too much in my sleep or talk in my dreams, disturbing you so?”

Shen Yuance opened one eye slightly and shook his head: “It’s that I move too much in my sleep, disturbing myself.”

As the weather gradually changed from warm to hot, summer arrived. Jiang Zhiyi bade farewell to the Pei siblings. Counting the days, she found it strange—although she was no longer in a hurry to return to the capital, her uncle’s men, traveling on horseback, should have arrived faster than by carriage. By logic, they should have arrived by late April. How was it that even after entering May, there was still no news?

That night, Jiang Zhiyi tossed and turned in bed, feeling uneasy. She asked Shen Yuance to send someone to check if this rescue party had gotten lost.

Shen Yuance was not particularly eager, lazily saying they would deal with it tomorrow, as if he hoped the party would arrive later rather than sooner.

Jiang Zhiyi bore this matter in mind, thinking she would press Shen Yuance to give the order tomorrow. However, the next day at dawn, while still lying in bed in a dreamy state, she suddenly heard a familiar female voice in the room: “Princess, your servant has come late to rescue you…!”

Both people on the bed opened their eyes.

Jiang Zhiyi, groggy with sleep, tried to identify the voice. It wasn’t Jing Zhe or Gu Yu, though it sounded familiar, but she couldn’t immediately recall who it was. Puzzled, she stretched out her arm to reach for the bed curtain, asking: “Who is it?”

“Princess, it’s Xiaoman! Your servant has traveled for over a month to finally arrive. Have you been waiting—”

Jiang Zhiyi lay on the inner side and couldn’t reach the bed curtain despite stretching. Shen Yuance raised his hand and pulled open the curtain.

The person kneeling before the bed looked up and only then saw that there were two people on the bed, and the other was a man!

Seeing the person sleeping intimately with the princess, the word “anxiously” in Xiaoman’s phrase “waiting anxiously” caught in her throat.

It was truly a month on the road, but a decade in the human world. When she had left, the Marquis had said the princess and General Shen were at odds, intending to break off the engagement, and had dispatched people to quickly rescue her. How had everything changed so dramatically by the time of her arrival?

Jiang Zhiyi focused her gaze on the young girl whose expression was rapidly changing: “Xiaoman?”

Xiaoman quickly lowered her head in trepidation: “Yes, Princess, it’s your servant.”

Jiang Zhiyi, as if waking from a dream, finally realized that her uncle’s men had arrived.

“What were you saying just now?” Jiang Zhiyi, half-lying on Shen Yuance, propped herself up to ask Xiaoman.

“Your… your servant said, your servant has come to rescue…” Xiaoman secretly raised her eyelids to glimpse Jiang Zhiyi’s delicate hand resting on Shen Yuance’s chest, and Shen Yuance’s dangerously narrowed eyes. Trembling, she asked, “Princess, this rescue—is it still needed?”

A quarter of an hour later, Shen Yuance, fully dressed, left the bedroom. Jiang Zhiyi sat at her dressing table, having her hair combed by Xiaoman, who explained the reason for their late arrival.

“Princess, it’s all your servant’s fault for delaying everyone. The guards sent by the Marquis were all skilled riders who should have reached Guzang by mid-to-late April. But your servant isn’t good at riding, which delayed our journey quite a bit…”

—Delayed until it seemed the princess no longer needed her at all.

“It’s all right. It’s only a matter of a dozen or so days’ difference. You’ve had a hard journey; there’s no need to say such things.” After speaking, Jiang Zhiyi remembered something strange. “But I already have Jing Zhe and Gu Yu here. Why would Uncle send you as well?”

“The Marquis said those guards couldn’t converse with you properly or understand your intentions. He sent your servant to see if your engagement with General Shen could still be salvaged. If it were just an ordinary quarrel, your servant was to mediate. But if your servant found that General Shen truly treated you poorly, then we would bring you back to Chang’an.”

Jiang Zhiyi shook her head: “Uncle was initially reluctant to approve this marriage. Now he’s become so attached to it.”

“Not entirely. The Marquis also told your servant that if things between you and General Shen were truly beyond repair, to observe how you got along with Young Master Pei.”

Recalling the letter her uncle had sent over a month ago, Jiang Zhiyi had thought her uncle mentioned Pei Zisong just to irritate Shen Yuance. Now it seemed—

“Uncle wants to marry me off quickly. Didn’t he used to say that if I couldn’t find a suitable match, I could live in the Marquis’s residence until old age?” Jiang Zhiyi snorted coldly.

“Don’t misunderstand the Marquis. He still cares for you deeply. When he received the letter from the Pei family, he was very anxious.”

“When you left, was everything well at home? Did Uncle and Aunt quarrel? How is Uncle’s health?”

“Princess, rest assured, everything is fine…” Xiaoman’s gaze flickered briefly. “Oh, Princess, your servant received a package at the relay station. Princess Baojia had it delivered to you over a thousand li by courier.”

Jiang Zhiyi’s attention was diverted. She quickly gestured: “Bring it here for me to see.”

Xiaoman retrieved a square, tightly wrapped silk bundle and handed it to Jiang Zhiyi.

Jiang Zhiyi unwrapped the three layers of silk to find a delicate, small sandalwood book box. Wondering what precious treasure required such careful packaging, she curiously flipped open the latch and lifted the lid.

A letter lay on top of the box. The contents of the letter were concise—

“The answer to your inquiry in your letter is within this box.”

Jiang Zhiyi tried to recall what she had asked Princess Baojia in a letter half a month ago.

Looking into the box, she saw a book with a crimson cover titled “Romance.”

Had she been sent a storybook? Jiang Zhiyi picked up the book and opened the first fold.

A vividly colored illustration met her eyes. In the picture, a man and a woman in disarray, with skin half-exposed, were entwined on a bed. The woman arched her neck, her mouth open in apparent ecstasy, while the man leaned over her, wielding what appeared to be a long rod—

Jiang Zhiyi tilted her head, staring at the picture, looking left and right, up and down, as if finally understanding something. Suddenly, her eyes widened.

Behind her, footsteps approached. Someone knocked lightly on the open door twice and entered: “I’m heading to the military camp. Will you still come for lunch today?”

Jiang Zhiyi, clutching the book, shot to her feet. Facing Shen Yuance as he approached step by step, her gaze slowly moved from his face down to his waist belt, and further down…

Shen Yuance halted, briefly pausing, and followed her gaze to look down at himself.

He saw nothing unusual, but Jiang Zhiyi, as if seeing a ghost, trembled all over. The book in her palm fell with a thud.

The book hit the floor and unfolded section by section.

Vibrant colors burst forth. In picture after picture, the male and female protagonists were in the bedchamber, in the study, in the courtyard, among flowers—lying, sitting, standing, kneeling—their postures of mutual endeavor varied and fantastical, dazzling to the eye…

Jiang Zhiyi and Shen Yuance both lowered their heads, their gazes sweeping over these vivid scenes. Slowly, they raised their heads and exchanged a glance.