In the eleventh month, the first snow fell in the capital.

The snow wasn’t heavy, but the weather had already grown extremely cold. It was said that the roads on the mountains to the east were blocked by snow, and hunters dared not venture into the mountains. There were also those who risked entering the mountains for their livelihood—not for anything else, but because at this time of year, hunting a white wolf pelt to sell to the ladies of wealthy families could fetch a hundred taels of silver.

For the sake of livelihood, people could do anything.

Outside the palace, the palace walls and roof eaves were all covered with a layer of white snow. Though not as thick as in the depths of winter, the silver-clad landscape was beginning to show itself. The newly arrived young eunuchs and palace maids still found it novel. When sweeping snow in the courtyards, they couldn’t help stepping on it with their feet. Sometimes during breaks when no one was around, they’d form snowballs and throw them at each other, finding it quite amusing.

The older servants didn’t have such fine spirits. In winter, people always became especially sentimental, as if everything had lost hope. Watching these newly arrived palace maids, they only shook their heads and sighed repeatedly. Living for today without tomorrow—every year people entered the palace, every year people died. Did they not see how pure the white snow was, yet how many nameless corpses were buried beneath the soil? The palace looked magnificent and splendid, but was actually fraught with danger. For them, probably the greatest fortune was to safely pass a few years and be successfully released from the palace when their term ended, to marry, have children, and live a stable life.

The sound of Buddhist sutras being chanted in Cining Palace had been less frequent lately. Probably because it was truly too cold—when the Empress Dowager sat in the hall copying scriptures, after just a short while her hands and feet would become stiff, and palace maids would hurriedly bring hand warmers for her.

“Getting old,” the Empress Dowager sighed. “Lately my hands and feet are always icy cold.”

“Perhaps the hall is too cold,” Meixiang replied. “This servant will have someone add more heated floors later.”

The Empress Dowager smiled slightly without speaking, only lightly frowning and pressing her forehead. Meixiang said, “Would the Empress Dowager like to rest in the bedchamber for a while?”

“Alright,” the Empress Dowager answered. Meixiang helped the Empress Dowager to the bedchamber. Just as they reached the entrance, the Empress Dowager froze and suddenly said, “Meixiang, guard the door. Don’t let anyone else enter.”

Meixiang didn’t ask why, only nodded and withdrew. Only then did the Empress Dowager look at the person inside.

Beside her bed sat a man, hands supporting himself from behind, legs propped up on the chair. She had always been pampered—the bed she slept on had the most exquisite and soft bedding. With him sitting like this, the bed had sunken more than halfway down. It was truly comical.

“Have you no regard for your life? You actually dared come here,” the Empress Dowager said calmly, trying her utmost to conceal the shock in her eyes.

It was a middle-aged man with a resolute, handsome appearance, carrying some of the unrestrained freedom that didn’t belong to the capital. Hearing this, he only smiled, unconcerned. “Roujia, it’s been a long time,” he said.

The Empress Dowager’s body trembled lightly. “Roujia” was her childhood name. After all these years, even when the Late Emperor was alive, he had never called her this. Yet the man before her eyes, whether she was Miss Lin, or the Crown Princess, or the Empress, or even now the Empress Dowager—when he called her, it was always “Roujia.”

This man was Yin Zhan.

Prince Jun of Xia, the Late Emperor’s brother, the renowned General Zhaode—he had thus broken into the Empress Dowager’s bedchamber and addressed her so intimately.

The Empress Dowager’s many years of calm composure finally showed a crack, and she even appeared somewhat nervous.

“Don’t worry,” Yin Zhan said. “I came to see His Majesty. When I came to you, no one discovered me. You must trust my abilities. Roujia, you’re still so cautious.”

The Empress Dowager said coldly, “After all, decades ago, I already caused great disaster because of carelessness.”

Yin Zhan was silent for a moment before saying, “That’s all in the past.”

“Not for me,” the Empress Dowager said lightly. “I’ve been eating vegetarian food and chanting Buddhist sutras for decades to atone for my sins back then.”

“Oh?” Yin Zhan smiled. “I thought you were praying for me, praying for my safety.”

His words were utterly frivolous, making the Empress Dowager furrow her brows. “I don’t understand why you’ve returned,” she said.

“Roujia,” Yin Zhan put away his smile. “You’re always unwilling to speak your true feelings. The purpose of my return—isn’t it the same as your purpose all these years?”

The Empress Dowager said, “I have no purpose.”

“You must have met Zhili,” Yin Zhan interrupted her words. “He looks very much like you.”

The Empress Dowager’s body suddenly began trembling uncontrollably. Her composure from the beginning until now suddenly collapsed in an instant at this moment.

“Zhili, he is…”

“He is your child,” Yin Zhan said gently. “All these years, I’ve taught him well. He’s very outstanding, just a bit too soft-hearted. This is unfavorable,” a trace of vexation appeared on his face. “For what he must do in the future, this is an obstacle.”

“Why are you telling me these things?” The Empress Dowager sneered coldly. “Even if he is my… he cannot see the light of day. Since you’ve already remarried, just live your days peacefully.”

“So you’re angry with me because of this.” Yin Zhan instead seemed somewhat delighted and smiled. If the Yin family members or Madam Yin saw this expression, they would be greatly shocked. He was resolute and rough, unrestrained and carefree, but never tender. It turned out he had used all his tenderness on the person before his eyes.

“Back then, the Late Emperor was guarding against me. I had no choice but to marry—not just for myself, but also for you, for Zhili,” Yin Zhan said. “After having Zhiqing, the Late Emperor’s concerns were dispelled. I never touched her again. Roujia,” he stared into the Empress Dowager’s eyes, “there has never been anyone else in my heart.”

The Empress Dowager turned her head, wanting to avoid his gaze. But turning her head, she caught sight of the bronze mirror beside her. The woman in the mirror no longer had the charming, captivating appearance of years past. So many years had passed—her face had gradually aged, even white hairs had grown among her hair. She was no longer young. Time’s ravaging of beauty was never merciful, and among this, it was even more cruel to women than to men. Yin Zhan was more mature than before, more attractive. Standing beside him, no one would think they were well-matched.

The palace had finally transformed her into an unfamiliar appearance.

“I don’t want to hear these things,” the Empress Dowager said. “If you came to reminisce about the past, please leave. I already made it very clear back then—we should never meet again in this life. It seems you didn’t take my words to heart.”

“Back then circumstances forced us. I’ve been planning for twenty years, all for this moment,” Yin Zhan said. “Roujia, even now, you still have me in your heart, don’t you? Even if you can bear to part with me, you surely cannot bear to part with Zhili. You and he haven’t seen each other for so many years. He’s always thought his birth mother died long ago. If I tell him his identity…”

“No!” The Empress Dowager quickly interrupted him. “Don’t tell him.”

“You know that’s impossible, Roujia,” Yin Zhan said. “He should learn to accept his fate. He should also acknowledge his birth mother. Don’t you want him to call you mother? Zhili is very kind. He won’t hate anyone. He can’t bear to see you sad.”

The Empress Dowager’s shoulders began to shake.

She had stayed in the palace for so many years, appearing detached from worldly affairs, yet able to firmly maintain the position of Empress Dowager. To be precise, when the Late Emperor was alive, she had always sat very securely in the position of Empress, doing everything impeccably.

The Empress Dowager was Miss Lin, the eldest daughter of the Earl of Fengcheng when she was young. Her reputation for being gentle and virtuous was widely known. At sixteen, she was bestowed by the Emperor of that time upon the Crown Prince, becoming the Crown Princess.

Once entering the deep palace, it’s as deep as the sea; from then on, the beloved becomes a passerby. The Empress Dowager’s heart also held such a beloved—none other than the Crown Prince’s half-brother from the same father, the Prince Jun of Xia who was then still an imperial prince, Yin Zhan.

One day when Lin Roujia went up the mountain to pray at a temple, she encountered villains. Coincidentally, Yin Zhan was nearby and saved Lin Roujia’s life. Lin Roujia was grateful and bandaged the wounded Yin Zhan. Special feelings arose between the two young people. She was moved by Yin Zhan’s bravery and might; Yin Zhan liked her gentleness and grace. The Earl of Fengcheng felt it would be bad if word spread about his daughter being attacked, so he didn’t make it public. All the Lin family servants present at the time were also dealt with. Thus, no one knew about this past matter. In others’ eyes, Lin Roujia and Yin Zhan remained two unrelated people.

But the growth of feelings didn’t require any environment. Liking was simply liking. Sometimes a single fleeting glance, over time, would trigger enormous obsession. Yin Zhan originally planned to have someone propose marriage to the Lin family, but before he could, news of the palace’s marriage decree arrived.

Lin Roujia became the Crown Princess.

Life was probably like this—there would always be such imperfections. Lin Roujia thought that perhaps Yin Zhan was an obsession she could never fulfill in this life. She decided to let go of this youthful longing and properly fulfill her duties as Crown Princess.

She did very well. The Emperor passed away, the Crown Prince became the new Emperor, she became Empress, and even gave birth to a young Crown Prince.

Those were the happiest days for Lin Roujia after entering the palace. The Earl of Fengcheng was very satisfied. Every few days he would have Madam Lin enter the palace to keep their daughter company and talk. The entire Lin family took pride in Lin Roujia. Her brothers and sisters received favor because of this. And the Emperor—because he first had the young Crown Prince, he paid special attention to this eldest son. When he had nothing to do, he would come to Cining Palace to visit. This was what most delighted Lin Roujia.

The Emperor had three palaces, six courts, and seventy-two consorts. It was impossible to favor only one woman. Especially as Empress, one had to be wise and magnanimous, not jealous. But in Lin Roujia’s heart, she was always just a small woman who couldn’t bear being neglected. So the attention brought by her son was especially useful to her.

After that, the palace gradually had other imperial princes. Consort Liu Shu gave birth to the Second Prince, Noble Consort Xia gave birth to the Third Prince, and there were new beauties and consorts. The Emperor favored Consort Liu Shu, appreciated Noble Consort Xia, and also treated the Second and Third Princes well. Fortunately, the Crown Prince was raised by the Emperor himself, and the Emperor’s favorite was still the Crown Prince.

After Noble Consort Xia gave birth to the Third Prince, she quickly passed away. The Emperor placed the Third Prince under the Empress’s care. Lin Roujia appeared amiable toward the Third Prince on the surface but was actually disgusted. She feared this child would develop improper thoughts and want to compete with the Crown Prince for things, so she guarded against him everywhere. After all, the Crown Prince was Lin Roujia’s last hope.

But heaven actually took this last hope away from Lin Roujia.

The Crown Prince died at age five.

Lin Roujia nearly went mad. Teetering on the edge of insanity, she insisted it was the Third Prince’s doing. Otherwise, why would only the Crown Prince meet with misfortune when both princes were playing together in the Imperial Garden?

The Emperor consoled her. Lin Roujia wished the Third Prince would die immediately. Then the imperial physicians came, examined the body, and with palace servants testifying, the Crown Prince had died of congenital deficiency and sudden heart disease. The Third Prince was innocent.

Lin Roujia was on the verge of collapse. She knew that with so many people, the imperial physicians wouldn’t lie. However, this wasn’t the answer she wanted. If it wasn’t the Third Prince, she would have no object upon which to place her hatred. She would die.

After the Crown Prince’s death, the Emperor was very considerate of Lin Roujia for a time, indulging her in everything. However, an emperor’s patience had limits. With Lin Roujia gloomy day after day, over time, the Emperor stopped coming to Kunning Palace. And the palace’s struggles were the most cruel—one step back could mean plummeting into an endless abyss. For instance, the Second Prince’s mother, Consort Liu Shu, was stirring restlessly at this time.

If the Second Prince were established as Crown Prince, Consort Liu Shu would become the Crown Prince’s mother. Replacing her as Empress would be a matter of time. The Empress grew anxious. The Earl of Fengcheng told her not to fear—she still had a Third Prince. This Third Prince’s temperament resembled the deceased Noble Consort Xia, clever and understanding of propriety. He could certainly be used. In any case, having already lost one Crown Prince, she absolutely could not lose even the position of Empress.

Lin Roujia was enlightened by the Earl of Fengcheng’s words, suddenly understanding. She resolved to protect her position, not giving anyone an opportunity to exploit. She began treating the Third Prince gently again, raising him as if in the role of a loving mother. This Third Prince also truly didn’t disappoint her expectations, becoming sharp and calling her “Mother Empress” constantly, as if very affectionate. It almost made people forget that several years ago, because of the Crown Prince’s death, the Empress had wanted nothing more than to put him to death.

Sometimes Lin Roujia herself, watching the seemingly filial picture of her and the Prince, would silently mock in her heart, feeling they were nothing but two people pretending. She increasingly missed her deceased son and grew cold-hearted toward the Emperor’s ruthlessness.

It was at this time that the triumphantly returning Yin Zhan appeared.

Since Lin Roujia became Crown Princess, Yin Zhan had left the capital for the frontier. Lin Roujia could only learn of his news from palace servants’ victory reports. But as time passed and she became busy with scheming and compromising, with life undergoing tremendous changes, she cast all these matters behind her. Yin Zhan seemed like a very distant, very distant phantom. When Lin Roujia learned he would return, she was also very calm, believing that after so many years, when she saw Yin Zhan again, they would probably just be two strangers meeting.

She didn’t know if she had overestimated her resolve or underestimated her feelings. When she and Yin Zhan met, in an instant, she suddenly discovered that thousands of days and nights hadn’t worn away her feelings for Yin Zhan. Yin Zhan was still as she remembered him, even more captivating than before. Only, Yin Zhan had now married. She knew that family’s young lady—gentle and kind as she herself once was. Looking at herself, Lin Roujia felt her completely changed appearance made it difficult to face Yin Zhan.

Yet Yin Zhan actually broke into her palace.

He risked being discovered and losing his head, reckless and desperate. Just like at their first meeting, when he protected a strange young lady he’d met by chance, not hesitating to be wounded with his bravery—he broke into her bedchamber, broke into her long-parched heart.

Yin Zhan knew all her unwillingness, knew her pain, knew her anger. He used his forceful and overwhelming manner to smooth over these years of hurt and emptiness. Their feelings became uncontrollable, like a spark about to extinguish that suddenly received firewood, burning brilliantly, becoming a sky-consuming fire.

Neither of them could stop this fire from growing larger, even knowing the final result would be irredeemable disaster. Like walking a tightrope, sinking in danger, but neither willing to call a halt. As if dying like this would be worth it.

Yin Zhan told her that the wife he married was only due to parental orders, without feelings. In his heart, through all lifetimes, he would only love one woman—Lin Roujia.

Lin Roujia was a woman. She had pretended to be dignified and virtuous for so many years, all for a man she didn’t love. At this moment, before Yin Zhan, she suddenly tasted what it felt like to be loved. She became crazed because of it, threw herself into it recklessly. She even bore Yin Zhan a son.

This son—Yin Zhan gave him a Yin family identity. Even Yin Zhan’s deceased first wife was a sacrificial victim of this secret.

She had betrayed her husband. He had betrayed his closest brother. The two achieved ultimate pleasure in moral transgression, but pleasure wasn’t eternal.

The Emperor eventually heard some rumors. However, they had concealed things too well—he couldn’t find evidence. So with one transfer order, the Emperor sent Yin Zhan to Yunzhong.

When Yin Zhan left, he was very carefree. Before leaving, he even married another wife, and soon after, that wife became pregnant. He left in great haste, not leaving Lin Roujia a single word. Lin Roujia hated him for many years because of this. She thought she had been abandoned again, yet still wasn’t resigned to it.

Until the Crown Prince ascended the throne and became Emperor Hongxiao, she became the Empress Dowager, spending every day hiding in Cining Palace copying Buddhist sutras. She copied for many years, making herself impassive. But when this man, the man who had entangled with her for half a lifetime, took such risks to break into her bedchamber, she sadly discovered that her heart still surged for him. Those Buddhist sutras were utterly useless. He easily stirred up her crazed emotions. There was no cure.

“You’ve confused me, Yin Zhan,” she said softly. This sentence carried no pretense, instead becoming gentle, just like Lin Roujia of many years ago. She said, “What I want to do, I’ll naturally do myself. I don’t understand you breaking in like this.”

“When I left back then, it was truly too hasty. Imperial Brother had arranged eyes and ears everywhere throughout the palace. If I had come to bid you farewell, we definitely would have been discovered. I didn’t want to implicate you, Roujia,” he said tenderly. “All these years, you’ve suffered.”

Lin Roujia’s tears nearly fell. She turned her head away. “Yin Zhan, I’m not suffering—I’m tired.”

The room fell silent for a moment before he said, “Last time I didn’t bid you farewell, and you might have resented me for it. So now, before leaving, I must bid you farewell.”

“Farewell?” The Empress Dowager turned her head, staring at Yin Zhan, her voice changing slightly. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to do something, Roujia.” Yin Zhan stood up and walked to the Empress Dowager’s side. The Empress Dowager imperceptibly stepped back, but he pressed down on her shoulders. He looked down at her—the Empress Dowager appeared especially petite beneath him. He continued, “About what happened back then, there are many things that weren’t cleanly handled. If I don’t deal with all these troubles, you and Zhili will both suffer greatly. I’m your man, Zhili’s father. These matters should be handled by me.”

The Empress Dowager heard some implications in his words. Her heart grew inexplicably nervous. She could no longer maintain her pretense of reserve and asked, “What exactly are you going to do?”

“See,” he looked at the Empress Dowager’s reaction, seeming satisfied as he smiled. “You do still care about me after all.”

“Ji-xiong’s son, the current Duke of Su—you’ve seen him,” Yin Zhan said. “He’s coming for me.”

The Empress Dowager’s body suddenly trembled violently. Twenty-some years—twenty-some years had passed, yet hearing this name, she still felt afraid.

“That person Ji Heng…” she said. “I don’t understand. All these years, I’ve wanted to kill him, but,” she shook her head, “I can’t kill him.”

No matter how powerful she was, she was still just a woman in the palace. Ji Heng wasn’t an ordinary person. Wanting to kill him wasn’t easy. At least the Empress Dowager had tried for many years and never once succeeded.

“I actually don’t want to kill him,” Yin Zhan said. “But he already knows. His purpose is to kill me. If I don’t kill him, he’ll harm Zhili. Roujia, I can’t let such a thing happen. The son Ji-xiong produced is nothing like Ji-xiong. Ji-xiong was upright and honorable, straightforward and generous. This son of his will stop at nothing, with deep schemes. He’s very much like his mother.”

The Empress Dowager’s body couldn’t help trembling again.

Yu Hongye—this name had once been her nightmare for a very long time. She wouldn’t deliberately think of this person, but this person would always appear uninvited in her mind.

Her intelligence, her cunning, her boldness, and her anger and despair, her curses and disbelief.

The Empress Dowager suddenly closed her eyes tightly.

“Roujia, don’t be afraid. I came back to resolve this matter. Ji Heng has been planning this for a long time. From very early on, when he supported Prince Cheng, it was to force me to return. Even if I hadn’t come forward this time, he would have made his move on you,” Yin Zhan said. “Roujia, we have no other choice. Are you afraid?”

He stared at the Empress Dowager.

A smile immediately appeared on the Empress Dowager’s face. This smile carried some contempt, some mockery, finally showing some traces of the Empress Dowager. “From birth until now, I’ve never had another choice. You ask if I’m afraid—I understood many years ago, is being afraid useful? Go then.” She lowered her head. “I’ve long known this day would come. Go kill all those people. The world will be yours, and so will I. If you die, I’ll die with you.”

Yin Zhan smiled slightly. “I won’t die.”

The Empress Dowager looked at his face. “Remember what you said.”

Yin Zhan kissed the Empress Dowager. She stood stiffly. After Yin Zhan left, Meixiang pushed the door open and saw the Empress Dowager collapsed in the chair, her face pale.

“Empress Dowager.” Meixiang hurriedly came to support her, but before reaching the Empress Dowager’s side, the Empress Dowager waved her hand, telling her not to approach.

She covered her heart—it was beating very fast.

She had answered Yin Zhan saying she wasn’t afraid, but how could she not be afraid? They were like cornered rats making their last stand—dark, base, waiting for the right moment. Many years ago, that intoxicating pleasure had planted seeds of disaster. These seeds had lain dormant for many years. Now, it was time for them to erupt.

No one knew what the result would be.

…

Yin Zhan left Cining Palace. He took a roundabout route. He hadn’t discovered—his entering the palace today was ostensibly to see the Emperor, but actually to see Lin Roujia. However, he still couldn’t do so openly now. He couldn’t cause trouble for Lin Roujia.

As he rounded the palace corridor and headed toward the palace exit, someone came from the opposite direction, perfectly blocking his path.

This person wore red robes with black butterflies embroidered on the edges, black boots and a silver belt, exceptionally bewitching. He held a folding fan. Even in winter, the fan never left his hand. A pair of soul-stealing eyes, smiling yet not smiling, stared at Yin Zhan. “Prince Jun of Xia,” he said.

“Duke of Su.” Yin Zhan stopped in his tracks.

He examined Ji Heng. Back then, Ji Minghan was Northern Yan’s famous handsome man, and Ji Heng’s mother was a renowned peerless beauty of the world, worthy of being called an enchantress. Looking now, Ji Heng not only resembled Yu Hongye in temperament, but even his features and appearance inherited Yu Hongye’s dazzling beauty. As for Ji Minghan, he inherited rather little.

“You and your father are truly very unlike,” he said.

“But I resemble my mother,” Ji Heng smiled. “Yin Zhili and his mother are quite alike, aren’t they?”

Yin Zhan laughed heartily. “People’s appearances can’t be explained simply by resemblance or lack thereof.”

“Prince Jun of Xia is right,” Ji Heng said lightly. “For Prince Jun of Xia to understand my father and mother so well, no wonder you were friends back then.”

Yin Zhan felt somewhat conflicted. He and Ji Minghan could indeed be called sworn brothers who once admired each other. When Yu Hongye encountered trouble in the brothel back then, knowing Ji Minghan’s feelings, Yin Zhan had even helped resolve the situation several times. He and Ji Heng’s parents could indeed be called friends—sincere friends at that. If not for later mishaps, Ji Heng should call him uncle, and he should call Ji Heng nephew.

Rather than now, where Ji Heng spoke to him in a frivolous, equal, even secretly contemptuous tone. Ji Heng looked down from above; his own feelings were mixed.

“Indeed so,” Yin Zhan smiled. “If your parents were still alive, they would be very gratified to see your current state.”

“Not everyone has the fortune of the Prince’s heir,” Ji Heng said with a smile.

Yin Zhan’s expression changed. On the surface, Yin Zhili’s birth mother had already passed away, yet Ji Heng insisted on saying this… He truly knew.

Though mentally prepared, hearing Ji Heng speak it aloud, Yin Zhan still couldn’t help his heart skipping a beat.

“General Zhaode need not be nervous,” Ji Heng said leisurely, looking at him. He spoke lightly, “Debts must be repaid—this is natural law. A life for a life—it should be the same. No matter who it is, not one can escape. Isn’t that right?”

His trailing tone cut through the air, his smile so cruel it sent chills through one’s heart.

Author’s Note: Two successive emperors were cuckolded… how terrifying