On the last day of 2012, Wen Wen had a sudden impulse to go to Grandpa’s house for hot pot to ring in the New Year. At six in the afternoon, while Yu Jiuqi was accompanying her to buy ingredients at the supermarket, she received a text from Sun Xi, brief and to the point.

[Fireworks start at ten. At nine I’ll wait for you at the pedestrian street behind the small plaza.]

[I’m not coming.]

He didn’t reply.

After buying groceries, Yu Jiuqi and Wen Wen carried several large bags of vegetables, meatballs, beef and lamb to Grandpa’s house. While washing vegetables, Grandpa and Wen Wen started arguing. Xiao Jiu got caught up in it too. In the end, the vegetables were thrown out, and mother and daughter were also driven out.

Wen Wen picked up the dirtied vegetables and threw them in the trash can, brushed away the loose hair on her face, smiled eerily, and said she was going to the dance hall to dance. She stuffed one hundred yuan into Xiao Jiu’s hand, telling her to buy some good food and go home to watch the New Year’s Eve show.

Yu Jiuqi looked at the time on her phone—exactly eight o’clock.

She asked, “Mom, can I go to a classmate’s house?” Wen Wen didn’t ask much and said okay, then stuffed another hundred yuan to her.

Yu Jiuqi turned to head home. Her steps grew slower and slower, then stopped. She sent Sun Xi a text: [Where on the pedestrian street?]

Sun Xi replied instantly: [At the bookstore entrance.]

Yu Jiuqi directly hailed a taxi. When she arrived at the bustling pedestrian street, it was exactly 8:40.

She got out at the pedestrian street entrance. The bookstore was at the exit—a twenty-minute walk to get there. Nine o’clock exactly.

In those days, the pedestrian street was Shicheng’s most youthful and fashionable dating destination. On one side was a row of trendy internet-famous shops, on the other a row of night market food stalls. Overhead was a ceiling decorated with colored lights. Underfoot were bustling crowds. Not far away, the music store played that year’s popular hits on loop. The oily smoke and savory sauce of barbecue grills mixed with the cloying sweetness of cotton candy, threads of scent tempting people to blindly push forward.

“Yu Jiuqi!”

When she walked to the fried skewer stall, she suddenly heard someone call her name from behind. It wasn’t Sun Xi’s voice, but it wasn’t unfamiliar either.

She turned around and saw three familiar older male students behind her. They were Sun Xi’s classmates, all from Xifeng Street. Most of the injuries on Sun Xi’s face had been inflicted by them. Each of the three held a starch sausage, looking at her with interest.

Oh, Xiao Jiu remembered. The one with the acne-covered face leading them was called Yuan Xuan. His dad was Brother Dacheng, who’d had a feud with Yu Kaixuan. They’d met when she was little, but Brother Dacheng had now latched onto Shicheng’s biggest developer and was much more arrogant.

“You’ve grown taller!” Yuan Xuan walked over, looking her up and down.

Yu Jiuqi smiled reluctantly.

“And paler.” Yuan Xuan finished his last bite of starch sausage and tossed the bamboo stick aside. “Why are you so pale? Are you malnourished? Let me take you to get some food?”

Yu Jiuqi wasn’t particularly eye-catching at school, nor did she think Yuan Xuan had his eye on her specifically. He was probably just bored on New Year’s Eve and wanted to hit on someone. She was just unlucky. But at a time like this, she didn’t want a confrontation. She smiled and said: “Thanks, but I’m meeting someone later.”

“Meeting who?”

At this moment, the short classmate behind Yuan Xuan nudged him and jerked his chin forward: “Look, that bad seed is here too.”

At the same time, Yu Jiuqi received a new text: [Want me to come over?]

She turned her head slightly and saw the person who’d sent the message standing sternly at the bookstore entrance two stalls ahead. The smoke from the teppanyaki across the way drifted in front of him, obscuring everything, making his mood indistinguishable.

He’d changed his outfit—a mid-length black horn-button coat, thick gray hoodie underneath, his hair looking like it had been cut, almost hugging his scalp, much shorter.

“Why’s he staring at us?” That short classmate muttered quietly.

“Having another episode, probably.” Yuan Xuan also lowered his voice.

“Should we leave?” The short one suddenly chickened out.

“Damn, really unlucky.” Yuan Xuan’s eyes dodged away.

Yu Jiuqi suddenly felt something was off, very off. She lowered her head and first replied to Sun Xi: [It’s fine.]

Then she looked up, smiling at Yuan Xuan. Before he could leave, she stopped him, deliberately saying with surprise: “No way, you guys are actually afraid of him?”

“Afraid of who? Him?” Yuan Xuan laughed disdainfully. “If I’m afraid of him, I’m his grandson! Go ask around on Xifeng Street—have I ever lost any of those nasty fights with him? Which time didn’t I leave his face messed up before calling it quits?”

Yu Jiuqi frowned, lowered her head with a slight smile, then looked up again beaming: “Then why do you run when you see him?”

“Tired.”

“Tired?”

“Tired of fighting.”

Yu Jiuqi stared at that acne-covered face, confused.

“It’s just… lately, I keep feeling like he deliberately… you know…” Yuan Xuan stammered.

“Deliberately what?” Yu Jiuqi pressed.

“Ugh, deliberately asking for a beating!” That short guy said.

Several chattering girls walked over side by side laughing, dispersing them. When Yu Jiuqi looked around again, Yuan Xuan had already left. The curiosity he’d aroused in her and the key questions she hadn’t had time to ask came to an abrupt halt.

But she couldn’t say why—her mind flashed chaotically through the various injuries on his face during this recent period, those fresh bloodstains, bruises and wounds, those things that had attracted her to approach him again and again. They suddenly inexplicably changed flavor.

Someone lightly bumped into her in the crowd. She hastily turned around—it was Sun Xi. Yu Jiuqi deliberately looked up at his face. His healing ability was pretty strong. In just three short days, his face was much cleaner. Or maybe it was the late night and dim lights—if you didn’t look carefully, you almost couldn’t see the previous scars.

“Let’s go.” He tilted his head slightly.

Yu Jiuqi walked in front. He kept one step’s distance behind her.

“Do you want to eat anything?” His voice also kept to the minimum volume both could hear.

“No need.”

“Drink anything?”

“No need.”

He paused: “The fireworks are in forty minutes. Should we go to the viewing area?”

Yu Jiuqi nodded.

The viewing area consisted of several rows of tiered bench seats at different heights. The long benches divided the small plaza in two from the center. On one side was a yangge dance troupe fully dressed with their own band, on the other was a uniform square dance crowd. Both counted as entertainment programs to liven things up before the fireworks show—after all, in the dead of winter at year’s end, people needed to get rowdy and jump around to not feel too cold.

People could sit on either side of the long benches. Everyone chose freely—sitting facing whichever program they wanted to watch. The fireworks would be set off from the riverside not far away. The viewing angle from either side made no difference.

Yu Jiuqi and Sun Xi followed the crowd, one in front and one behind, to the same long bench. Sun Xi sat down first facing the square dance side, then Yu Jiuqi turned around, facing the yangge troupe, sitting beside him.

They sat close together with only a palm’s width between them, but facing different directions. To anyone looking, they were a pair of strangers not bothering each other.

The tiered benches gradually filled up, mostly with young people. Some huddled together under blankets cracking sunflower seeds and eating snacks, others holding cups of hot milk tea chatting and laughing playfully. The surroundings grew increasingly noisy. Everyone had their own excitement. Only they, sitting back-to-back with their own thoughts, remained silent.

Sun Xi broke the silence first. He turned his head slightly and casually asked quietly: “Didn’t you say you weren’t coming? Why did you suddenly come?”

“Had nowhere else to go.” Yu Jiuqi also answered casually.

“What happened?”

“My mom and my grandpa got into an argument. My mom went dancing.”

“What about your dad?”

“He moved to live at the bathhouse.” Yu Jiuqi’s volume dropped even lower. “They’re getting divorced.”

Sun Xi glanced at her but said nothing, not knowing what to say, somewhat regretting asking such a stupid question.

But Yu Jiuqi didn’t stop there. She suddenly felt stifled, as if covered by layer after layer of airtight netting. Some words and emotions had to be released. And somehow, it seemed if she didn’t resist a bit right now, she’d never have another chance to counter that oppressive stuffiness weighing on her.

Perhaps the noisy festive night gave her some sense of safety. Or perhaps after saving that drunk together a few days ago, she’d somewhat changed her view of Sun Xi. Without much guard and not caring how he’d see it, Xiao Jiu continued on the previous topic as if telling a story:

“My grandpa didn’t agree to their divorce. He said my mom isn’t responsible to the family and it’s unfair to my dad. My mom got anxious and said how is it unfair? My grandpa said why did you marry Yu Kaixuan in the first place? My mom said if we didn’t marry, how could Xiao Jiu get household registration? She’s a child I picked up. Back then the policy was you had to be married to adopt!”

Sun Xi turned his head sharply to look at her. He saw her gaze fixed straight ahead at the dancing crowd, her profile clean and solemn, but her eyes hollow.

Yu Jiuqi’s background wasn’t any big secret in Shicheng. Sun Xi naturally knew long ago, but hearing her bring it up so unexpectedly still felt shocking.

Yu Jiuqi seemed unbothered, her tone strangely calm: “My grandpa said, then you have to be responsible for Xiao Jiu. If you raised her, you have to see it through, right? My mom said I didn’t say I won’t care for her. Xiao Jiu will definitely stay with me. My grandpa said, have you asked Xiao Jiu’s opinion? Does she agree to your divorce? Have you asked if she wants to stay with you or her dad?”

Sun Xi felt somewhat uncomfortable. Just as he was about to tell her to stop, Yu Jiuqi’s speech quickened.

“Then my mom dragged me out from the kitchen and asked if they could divorce. If I didn’t agree, she wouldn’t divorce. She said although she’s had enough of being with my dad, she’s willing to endure it for me. Then she asked if they divorced, who would I go with? She said if I chose my dad, she’d immediately go out and get hit by a car and die.”

“Guess what I said? I said Mom, I’ve already thought it through. I support your choice. If divorce makes you happier, then divorce. Don’t worry about me. And of course I choose you. I won’t leave you.”

Yu Jiuqi laughed coldly. Her words came faster and faster, pronunciation clear, but her voice trembled much more. She said it all in one breath to the end.

“My grandpa got anxious and pulled me over. He said Xiao Jiu, don’t be afraid. Didn’t you cry that day? Didn’t you tell Grandpa you didn’t want them to divorce? Didn’t you say you feel more comfortable with your dad? You should speak up. I’m here, what are you afraid of? Speak your mind. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to make a fuss, make a fuss. Stay with whoever you want!”

“My grandpa also said, you don’t have to be a well-behaved child. You don’t have to be a good child. Don’t be afraid, no one will abandon you again. Don’t be afraid. Tell the truth.”

“He said, Xiao Jiu, people should be a bit more of a bastard. Think of yourself first in everything. Be selfish!”

“But guess what I said? I didn’t hesitate at all. I said Grandpa, I’m telling the truth. I sincerely support my mom. My mom has it hard. She suffered so much back then, and went through such effort to save me and raise me.”

“My grandpa got even angrier. He pointed at my mom’s nose and scolded her, saying my mom had ruined me as a child. My mom also got anxious, saying my grandpa just hates her, still hates her because of what happened years ago. My grandpa said you deserve to be hated. Without you, your mom and Wen Ya wouldn’t have died. Then he drove us both out.”

Someone on the plaza led a sudden cheer and shout—turned out a local Shicheng celebrity had mixed into the yangge troupe.

“Then I came to find you.” In the cheering, Yu Jiuqi let out a long sigh, dragging out threads of trembling notes.

She hastily sniffed, looked around, and suddenly asked: “Why haven’t the fireworks started yet?”

Sun Xi kept his head tilted, watching her from the corner of his eye, his whole body tense, cautiously: “Still more than ten minutes.”

“That long…” Yu Jiuqi muttered. “I’m not waiting. I’m leaving.”

“Not watching the fireworks?” Sun Xi suddenly turned his head.

“I didn’t really want to see them anyway.”

Yu Jiuqi suddenly didn’t understand why she’d come. After saying all that, she even somewhat regretted coming.

But just as she stood up, her hand was suddenly pressed down. A warm palm covered her fingertips, pressing them on the long bench.

Sun Xi pressed down on that coldness, turned to look at her, wouldn’t let her go, but also kept his face tense not knowing what to do.

“Should I buy you a candied hawthorn skewer?”

“Don’t want it.”

“Cotton candy? Grilled cold noodles?” Sun Xi observed her expression. “Milk tea? Jasmine milk green?”

“Don’t want any of it.”

She tried to pull her fingers out but couldn’t.

Sun Xi simply held them. He knew if he let her leave now, she’d really be gone.

“Let go, Sun Xi.”

“Really leaving?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, but you can’t come for nothing. At least see something you like before leaving.”

Sun Xi suddenly let go, stood up, took two large strides down several bench rows, jumped to the ground, and headed straight into the yangge troupe crowd.

Yu Jiuqi couldn’t figure out what he was doing. She straightened up to look down and saw him burrow into the chaotic yangge troupe. For a moment, she thought he was going to do the yangge dance. But soon, a scream rose from the crowd, then a boy was kicked out of the crowd by several people.

Xiao Jiu suddenly stood up. Without much effort, she identified the person being beaten as Sun Xi, and those beating him were Yuan Xuan and those three idiots.

She hurriedly walked down a few steps, then froze there, seeing Sun Xi not fighting back at all. He didn’t even defend his face, letting them kick with their feet, hit with their fists, and strike him twice with a tree branch from who knows where.

Only when nearby patrolling security came over and chased away Yuan Xuan and the others did he stand up from the ground, casually brushed off his dirtied clothes, then turned around, looked up, and gazed nonchalantly at Yu Jiuqi.

Just then, amid waves of cheering and screaming, the first firework rose swiftly and burst in the air, dots of light illuminating the entire sky. Under that brilliant canopy, Yu Jiuqi looked down at Sun Xi and clearly saw the blood flowing under his nose, the scraped skin on his cheekbone, and those sharp eyes brighter than the fireworks.

She shivered, momentarily feeling that his alert and sharp yet secretly humble eyes looked extremely like a young wolf’s.

As another cluster of fireworks exploded, she suddenly understood. She’d thought she was a fisher with a full harvest, when actually it was all bait he’d cast out.

Those casual encounters in school hallways, at bus stops, and behind milk tea shops—the old and new overlapping injuries on his face that lured people closer—standing there now at a high vantage point, recalling them, Yu Jiuqi felt them all take on a different bitter flavor.

He clearly knew she detested that face. He clearly knew she hated him. He clearly knew she’d once used watching his pain as an outlet for suppressed emotions.

Yet he still cast out the bait, even though that bait was flesh cut from his own body.

But why?

Yu Jiuqi asked Sun Xi this question many times. He never answered directly.

After the fireworks show, in a small pharmacy in a corner of the pedestrian street, Sun Xi sat on a stool while Yu Jiuqi stood in front of him, using the medicinal solution they’d just bought to clean the blood and wounds. She’d asked him then—why?

Why do something so childish, stupid, and insane?

Sun Xi tilted his head back but wouldn’t let his eyes fall on her face. After a moment of silence, he only said: “It won’t happen again.”

Yu Jiuqi wouldn’t give up: “Why won’t it happen again?”

He pursed his lips and smiled: “Don’t need to anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Well… we’ve already watched the fireworks.” He smiled even more.

Yu Jiuqi also smiled, her face inexplicably reddening.

Only then did he dare look at her: “Unless you still won’t come next year.”

The pharmacy’s heating was unusually hot: “Next year?”

“Mm.” When he smiled, his eyes weren’t so fierce. “This year’s fireworks weren’t watched properly. Next year we’ll make up for it.”

Yu Jiuqi hastily lowered her eyes, pinching the cotton swab soaked in medicine and wiping toward his scraped cheekbone. For a moment, she lost control of the pressure. He hissed and dodged.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

He pressed his lips together, saying nothing.

“Never let yourself hurt for someone else’s sake.” Xiao Jiu lowered her eyes, saying as if to herself.

Sun Xi only looked at her, still saying nothing.

On the last day of 2012, as the New Year was about to arrive, Yu Jiuqi made no wishes and had no expectations. But she knew very clearly—life seemed to be starting to become different.

Some things had disappeared, and some things were sprouting.

At the time, she hadn’t yet foreseen the things they would experience later. She thought the end of the world could really also be a new beginning.

At the moment 2013 officially arrived, they’d each returned to their own homes. At midnight, Yu Jiuqi received a text from Sun Xi.

He said: [Happy New Year.]

She replied: [Happy New Year.]

He said again: [That phrase—you were right.]

Xiao Jiu knew what he was referring to. She replied: [Let’s both strive for it.]

……

Like many casually spoken words, Yu Jiuqi gradually forgot this one, until the deep winter night of 2023, the day before Aunt and Grandma’s death anniversary, when she recalled it again.

She stood by the road outside her building. After watching her father’s car drive past and disappear, she crouched on the ground, unable to muster the strength to stand for a long time. Then he suddenly appeared from somewhere, carrying a scent of tobacco mixed with light cologne, cupping her face.

Yu Jiuqi stared dazedly at the person before her. Her eyes couldn’t see clearly. She thought it was another illusion about to collapse.

So she asked: “Sun Xi?”

He frowned looking at her: “It’s not me.”

Yu Jiuqi sniffed and roughly wiped her tears: “Why are you here? Why did you come back again?”

He didn’t answer. He never liked answering people’s questions.

Sun Xi looked up, checking the left and right sides of her head, then settling on her left temple. His finger gently touched it.

Xiao Jiu hissed and dodged.

“Does it hurt a lot?” he asked.

“It doesn’t hurt.”

Sun Xi placed one hand on her neck, the other gently brushing aside several strands of her messy fallen hair to look. His gaze tightened. He suddenly became somewhat angry.

“Why didn’t you dodge?” He stared at her asking.

“Because my mom…”

Sun Xi suddenly became serious: “No matter who it is! Didn’t you say back then, you said…”

Sun Xi didn’t finish the rest of his words, but Xiao Jiu looked at him and suddenly remembered that phrase. Her heart twisted painfully.

“Come with me.”

Sun Xi suddenly took her hand, pulled her up, pulling her away.

“Where to?” Yu Jiuqi’s legs were a bit numb. She stumbled along a few steps, trying to pull him back but couldn’t.

So she asked again: “Where to?”

Sun Xi only gripped her hand tighter, took longer strides, still not answering.