The next day at noon, Xiao Jiu accompanied Wen Wen to the therapy shop for a massage. Before lunch break, Wen Wen sent the location of a Japanese restaurant, telling Xiao Jiu to come eat first.

When Xiao Jiu arrived, she saw Wen Wen already sitting at the bar counter in a navy blue three-quarter sleeve knit dress, her fur coat and bag placed on the chair beside her, smiling and chatting with the handsome chef grilling eel for her. That chef looked to be around thirty, hair in a bun, wearing Japanese chef’s attire. Whatever Wen Wen said, Xiao Jiu saw him blush and lower his head, raising his eyebrows.

Xiao Jiu went over and sat down. The chef placed the freshly grilled eel and pork belly on two small plates, pushing them in front of the two women, said enjoy your meal, then specifically glanced at Wen Wen before going to serve other customers.

“Mom, know when to stop.” Xiao Jiu laughed and teased her.

Wen Wen was forty-five this year, but in mindset and preferences didn’t resemble a middle-aged person at all. Plus with her good foundation and excellent maintenance, applying a bit of light makeup to cover the fine lines under her eyes, looking ten years younger wasn’t an exaggeration.

On top of that, she had the currently popular small, delicate face type—beyond mature and sexy, there was also some charming simplicity. People her own age might think her thin and petty, but young men mostly ate this up.

Over these many years, the boyfriends who came and went, increasingly younger—rarely did Wen Wen actively flirt with them. Mostly she’d glance twice and the other party would follow along and strike up conversation. Xiao Jiu didn’t take these playful relationships seriously, thinking they were just one of the ways she maintained her vitality. As long as she didn’t cause trouble, it was fine. But somehow, Boss Xiao Fu seemed different. She was even afraid Mom would bully him, privately taking his side.

“I asked, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Wen Wen said.

“But you have a boyfriend.”

“But you don’t.”

Yu Jiuqi was mixing natto in her hand. Hearing this, she paused, unconsciously slowing down a bit.

Wen Wen watched her imperceptibly, then changed the subject: “But he won’t do, not good enough.”

Xiao Jiu continued vigorously stirring with her hands, from the corner of her eye seeing Mom’s expression had become more serious.

“My Xiao Jiu deserves better.”

Xiao Jiu placed the mixed natto in front of Wen Wen, then went to mix her own. At this moment, the phone in her pocket vibrated. She had a premonition who it was, but still took it out to look.

Sun Xi replied to her message from half an hour ago: [I have something today.]

Xiao Jiu asked: [What?]

The other side fell silent again for a while. Yu Jiuqi just turned off the screen and put the phone aside without bothering with it. Last night Xiao Jiu had ended up sleeping in Wen Wen’s room. Wen Wen had taken some headache medicine and said she couldn’t sleep, so she had Xiao Jiu bring her pillow over to keep her company.

That video call had been hung up by Sun Xi. Xiao Jiu initially didn’t think much of it, but later calculating the call time, he should have heard everything she said to Wen Wen. She waited all morning, thinking that given his temperament he’d chase after her asking something, but he didn’t say anything. By noon, Yu Jiuqi felt it was abnormal, so she took the initiative to ask if he was free today.

The phone vibrated again. This time she waited a moment before picking it up, swiping it open, staring blankly for quite a while.

He sent: [My grandmother knows I came back.]

After a pause, he added: [She’s calling me to eat.]

Yu Jiuqi felt a tight painful feeling in her heart. These two sentences looked calm and smooth, even revealing a bit of warmth, but Xiao Jiu knew very clearly the coldness and cruelty hidden behind that plain tone that had run through his entire adolescence—it wasn’t at all relaxed, much less warm. At this moment he might even be timid.

Sun Xi’s grandmother not only never liked him, but also used him, drove him away, and to some degree, even hated him.

But Xiao Jiu hesitated for a long time, not knowing how to advise him not to go without seeming petty.

He seemed to sense the thoughts on the other end. Two sentences popped up in succession:

[Just a meal.]

[It’s fine.]

Xiao Jiu was just about to reply when she heard a gentle voice beside her ask: “Why aren’t you eating?”

She looked up at Wen Wen, saw her take a big bite of half a piece of eel, eating on her own without bothering with Xiao Jiu anymore, saying never mind, Mom’s eating first, been busy all morning without eating anything, so hungry.

Xiao Jiu lowered her head and hastily replied to Sun Xi with one word: Okay.

Sun Xi didn’t arrive at the city hospital until the afternoon. On the phone, Old Lady Sun had told him very bluntly that she had to get two bottles of IV fluids at noon, no time, come later.

He asked for directions before finding his way to the nephrology ward. Last time he came back he’d also been to the hospital, but only left some hospitalization fees downstairs, didn’t go up. He knew going up wouldn’t be welcome either. When Old Lady Sun was diagnosed with uremia four years ago, Sun Zhengwu had called him. Sun Xi asked if he needed to come back. A cold rebuke came through the phone, saying don’t let him come back, I don’t want to see him.

The corridor was permeated with a strong smell of disinfectant. The faces coming and going were mostly weary. The ward door was left with a gap half a person wide. Sun Xi looked inside and saw a nurse removing an IV needle from an old person half-lying on the hospital bed. That old person’s gray-white short hair was sparse and scattered, the wrinkled patient gown on her body also hung empty and loose, her breathing long and trembling, aged until only a frame remained.

He stopped for a while. His foot was just about to take a step when he heard a calm angry shout.

“Get out, wait for me outside!”

Not too unexpected.

He smoked a cigarette in the corridor, tilting his head calmly watching outside the window, watching a fearless sparrow persistently pecking at an icicle until it pecked the icicle off, falling to the ground and shattering. Only then did Sun Xi go back.

Old Lady Sun was standing at the ward door waiting for him, short hair combed neat and tidy, wearing a brown velvet hat, down jacket and pants all prim and proper, face also seemed to have some powder on it. When she saw Sun Xi, her downturned corners of her mouth pressed together lightly.

Although the bruising on the back of her hand was obvious, the area around her eyes frighteningly dark, thin until only a handful of bones remained, she still managed in the time of one cigarette and one icicle to fight for a bit of dignity and respectability in front of the biological grandson with whom she’d been secretly competing for years.

“Just the two of us?” Walking to the hospital entrance, Sun Xi asked.

“I told Tingting to pick me up after class.” Her aged eyes looked into the distance.

Sun Xi nodded: “What do you want to eat?”

“Fried chicken.”

Sun Xi was a bit puzzled: “Which fried chicken place?”

Old Lady Sun named a chain fried chicken restaurant.

This fried chicken restaurant had three locations total in Stone City. The nearest was near Stone City No. 2 Middle School, a ten-minute drive. The road was slippery. Sun Xi reached out wanting to support her to the parking spot across the way. Old Lady Sun dodged, stubbornly saying you go drive the car over.

It wasn’t yet student dismissal time. There weren’t many people in the fried chicken restaurant. They chose a corner seat by the window, ordered two non-spicy signature combo meals, two mild hot drinks, set on the narrow tabletop. Sun Xi, long-legged and long-footed, sat cramped, waiting for the old person opposite to choose first.

Old Lady Sun’s cloudy eyes slowly swept around in a circle. She only took out one set of utensils, opened it, took out a wet wipe, her bony hand pinching it, passing it over.

Sun Xi lifted his eyelids, confirming again and again, confirming she was passing it to him, before accepting it.

Undeniably, beyond surprise, the bottom of his heart also vaguely flashed a moment of discomfort.

He was a person used to being neglected, used to being disliked. After getting accustomed to being a bastard despised by everyone, he’d also developed a worthless problem—whenever he received even the slightest bit of goodwill, he reflexively felt it was unreal, shouldn’t be, didn’t deserve it.

Especially when that person was the grandmother who had used him again and again, belittled him, cursed him in the most vicious ways.

But he also vaguely remembered that initially their relationship hadn’t been like this.

Back then, Sun Zhengwu and Li Fang didn’t want to raise him, wanted to send him to an orphanage or find a foster family in another city. It was Old Lady Sun who sat on the living room floor holding two-and-a-half-year-old Sun Xi, slapping her thigh saying this is my house, my grandson, if you want to leave then you get out, we’re not leaving!

So what happened after that?

To make you hate me so much.

“You know your dad’s sick, right?” The opposite side, weak and listless, suddenly said.

Oh, that’s right.

Sun Xi suddenly felt at ease, suddenly understood the purpose of her calling him to eat, and also remembered how the hatred between them began.

“Didn’t know.” He was still slowly wiping his fingers with the wet wipe.

“Lymphoma, late stage.”

Sun Xi put down the wet wipe.

“This morning people from the prison called me, saying the medical conditions inside are just so-so, they’ve tried their best, told us to be mentally prepared. Whether he can make it through this New Year depends on fate.”

Sun Xi lightly pulled at the corner of his mouth, thinking what fate could he have.

“You should go see him.”

Sun Xi looked toward the window.

“He says he wants to see you.”

Outside the window, an extended coal truck drove past, kicking up a layer of fine snow from the ground. The fine snow leaped up, landing on a father and son each holding a starch sausage.

“He’s about to die, you should at least go see him once.” Her tone became increasingly stiff.

Sun Xi watched that father and son pair, casually took a french fry, put it in his mouth, still not picking up the conversation as if he hadn’t heard, slowly chewing. Only after finishing eating did he turn his head back.

As expected, he encountered those disappointed and contemptuous eyes he’d seen countless times in his youth. Although she was much older now, the force of her glare far less than before, she still held her body upright, held her breath, and from a very close distance, used all her strength to convey hatred toward him.

Just because he’d never been willing to go to prison to see her most beloved eldest son, not even once, she deeply hated him—hated him for not being obedient, unfilial, heartless little calf, wolf cub that couldn’t be tamed.

Hated him enough to use his most precious relationship to take revenge on her enemy, causing that year when he and Yu Jiuqi, after being depressed for three months each, wanted to take one risk under suppression, but it brewed into a catastrophe.

Hated him enough that after that disaster, when everyone was cursing and driving him away, as the closest relative in his life who should have protected him, when the injury on his finger hadn’t yet healed properly, she dragged him to the police station to get an ID card. The first day the ID card came through, she stuffed him with a thousand yuan and said go, you go, Stone City can’t hold you, this home can’t hold you anymore either.

He remembered that at the time he had begged her. He said Grandma, can you let me finish high school, I have one more year until the college entrance exam. If I really can’t stay in Stone City anymore, can you give me some money, I’ll transfer to another city to study.

She just sneered coldly, saying you still want to take the college entrance exam? Still want a future? Aren’t you disgusted by your dad? Aren’t you disgusted that your dad is a murderer? Then what future and prospects does the son of a murderer need? Look at what you’ve done. Accept your fate, Sun Xi, this is your fate.

Just because he’d never been willing to accept his so-called father, his grandmother cursed him in the most vicious way.

But that person, what right did he have to be his father?

Sun Xi gazed at the old person opposite, not dodging or avoiding, gradually calming down. After all these years he’d already convinced himself not to blame her anymore. She was like many people shrouded under this grudge—all were pitiful people still trapped in that past blizzard, unable to walk out.

Moreover, she might never truly be free until the end of her life.

Outside the window, students walked past in twos and threes. It was dismissal time, people increasing. Sun Xi lowered his head, seeing the food on the table untouched, and asked lightly:

“Aren’t you eating?”

The old person opposite said: “I can’t eat fried food.”

Sun Xi frowned: “Then why come here?”

She didn’t answer this question, but still stared at the grandson before her whom she hadn’t seen in nine years, now with the appearance of a mature man, her mind sketching another person extremely similar to his features—that sinner, confused person, also the most beloved person who once made her deeply proud and deeply frustrated.

Life was about to reach its end. She of course knew clearly she wasn’t a competent mother or grandmother, but what could be done? Which mother under heaven could truly be fair and clear-headed?

She just wanted to make a final effort before dying, so she steadied her breath and answered his earlier question: “I come to this fried chicken place every week, and I don’t eat anything.”

“Then what are you coming for?”

“Just want to be closer to your dad.”

Sun Xi didn’t understand, his eyes fiercely questioning.

“The napkin you just used might have passed through your dad’s hands.”

“What?”

Old Lady Sun pressed her lips together and continued: “The napkins, utensils, and takeout boxes this fried chicken place uses are all packaged by your dad and them in prison. I asked around, your dad inside is doing…”

Sun Xi suddenly felt nauseous, moved back, wanting to distance himself from all this before him. The chair scraped a harsh friction sound across the floor.

His hands didn’t know where to go, stiffly spread out and placed on his legs, his whole body tense, looking at the old person opposite who had tricked him into coming here, full of anger and humiliation. Finally unable to bear it anymore, he directly faced the biggest rift between them, looking at her with a sinister gaze.

“I can’t possibly go see him!”

Suppressing his voice, he said again: “When I was little you hit me, scolded me, threatened to sell me, starve me, freeze me to death. I never went. Do you think I’ll go now?”

Old Lady Sun also got angry: “He’s your biological father after all!”

“I have nothing to do with him.” Emphasizing again, “Even less to do with past events.”

“You’ve already come back!”

“I didn’t come back for him.”

“Then who did you come back for?”

A moment of softness flashed in Sun Xi’s eyes.

Old Lady Sun immediately understood, pulled a smile, then looked at him with a superior attitude, as if seeing through him completely: “You think you really have nothing to do with him? Really got rid of him?”

“Yes.”

“Did you do it?”

“I’ve done it now.”

“If you’d done it, you wouldn’t come back to Stone City again and again.”

Sun Xi suddenly became extremely irritable, feeling she was unreasonable, inexplicable, even not caring that before him was a seriously ill elder. Just as he was about to lose his temper and refute, Old Lady Sun pressed him down, using all her strength to say the last few sentences that instantly made him explode.

She said: “The bathhouse family’s women, whoever they are, all have unclear connections to the past.”

“If you really got rid of him, got rid of the past, you wouldn’t come back for anyone.”

“You definitely know that as long as you come back, you can’t avoid these things, they’ll all entangle you.”

“You know better than anyone why you really came back!”

Sun Xi suddenly stood up, looking oppressively at the frail old person opposite, his chest heaving violently, glaring down at her angrily. He wanted to deny everything—this was all unreasonable nonsense that made no sense—but didn’t know where to start. His face taut, his eyes frighteningly fierce.

People around looked over, pointing and commenting, even reproaching him for bullying an old person. Amid the commotion, a crisp footstep walked over, accompanied by a familiar inquiring voice.

“Brother?”

Sun Xi hastily turned around, seeing Sun Tingting coming over with an art board on her back.

“Brother, how did you come back?”

Sun Xi just waved his hand: “Take her back to the hospital.”

Saying this, he turned and left.

The sky had already darkened, the horizon hung with orange-yellow sunset glow, streetlights lighting up one after another. He plunged headlong into the magnificent and bitter cold deep winter evening of his hometown, like a hollow person rushing into unknown territory, never looking back.

Yu Jiuqi received Sun Xi’s call just as she’d rushed into the Wendu Water Spa lobby, clip-clopping up the spiral staircase toward the second floor, her heart set on seeing Third Uncle.

Third Uncle was Yu Kaixuan’s younger brother. He’d been resting at a sanatorium in Haikou before, just came back for New Year. Before getting off work, Yu Kaixuan had sent her a cheek-to-cheek selfie with Third Uncle. Xiao Jiu replied with a string of ahhhhh, then said keep Third Uncle steady for me, don’t let him run off, I’m flying over right now.

Xiao Jiu had loved playing with Third Uncle since childhood. Not having seen him for a year, she was especially excited. So when the phone rang, she didn’t even look at who it was, answering on the spiral staircase. Only when she heard Sun Xi’s voice did she stop.

But Sun Xi didn’t speak for a long time.

Xiao Jiu thought the signal was bad, picked it up to look—no problem—and asked: “What’s wrong?”

“Can you come out for a moment?”

Yu Jiuqi’s heart tightened. His voice was excessively low. She asked again: “What’s wrong?”

He said again: “Can you come out for a moment?”

Xiao Jiu looked back at the main entrance: “Where are you?”

“Side door.”

“In the alley?”

“Mm.”

Yu Jiuqi glanced upstairs, then outside, hesitated, turned around and went out.

The sky had long since gone completely dark. The alley by Wendu Water Spa’s side door had always been dim. Usually it gathered drunks coming down from Lesheng Huang, or little punks hiding here to smoke. Today it was cold and deserted with hardly anyone.

Xiao Jiu looked left and right, didn’t see anyone, and softly called out: “Sun Xi.”

“Here.”

A strong force from behind pulled her arm, yanking her over. Xiao Jiu hadn’t yet stood steady, hadn’t seen his face clearly, when she was tightly hugged around the waist.

Strong, powerful arms gripped her tightly, pressing her into his embrace. Xiao Jiu wanted to lift her head to look at him—he wouldn’t let her—tightened even more, as if kneading her to pieces and stuffing her into his body.

The tobacco smell was much heavier than usual, wafting over from the cold down jacket and the heavy breathing from above her head. She sniffed and felt like he’d been standing here for a long time.

“Sun Xi?”

“Mm.”

He responded, lowering his head, burying it in the space between her neck and shoulder, his nose tip rubbing against the smooth skin.

Xiao Jiu felt a chill, then an itch, gently tried to dodge. He trapped her, following over.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“What’s really wrong?”

He didn’t speak, his lips also falling down.

Xiao Jiu felt unbearable, her heart also uneasy, so she reached out and gently put her arms around his waist.

Then she heard a low, fragile, hoarse voice come from the space at her neck, answering her.

“Just suddenly wanted to hold you.”