The heating in the apartment was strong. Even with half a window open for ventilation, it was still stuffy. Yu Jiuqi unwrapped her scarf, loosened her coat, strode over and touched Sun Xi’s arm, asking him what was really going on. How did he end up arranging dinner with Brother Er Kai?

Sun Xi turned to look at her. His old habit of not liking to answer questions kicked in again. He raised his hand to brush the loose hair from her forehead and suddenly asked if her dad liked eating fish.

Xiao Jiu said sure, he likes it stewed. She asked again why are you having dinner with my dad?

Sun Xi still didn’t answer. He asked again if she could get up really early tomorrow.

Get up early for what, to shovel snow?

He said to go with him to Chagan Lake.

Of course Xiao Jiu knew it was currently Chagan Lake’s winter fishing season. She asked if he was really going to stew fish for Brother Er Kai.

This time Sun Xi was straightforward, saying if you’re going to stew it, you have to stew the best, freshest fish—buy it the same day.

Xiao Jiu got even more anxious. She grabbed the corner of his sweater and pulled him closer, making him speak more clearly. Sun Xi simply used the momentum to pull her into his arms, held her and rubbed her, lowered his head to kiss her face, deliberately teasing her, saying you come with me to buy fish tomorrow, and if you go, I’ll tell you.

“Do we have to make a trip to Chagan Lake?”

“Have to.”

“What time do we get up?”

“Four o’clock, I guess.”

Deep winter, four in the morning, the sky not yet light, sanitation workers not even at work yet, the fish in Chagan Lake not even awake. Yu Jiuqi reluctantly climbed out of bed, put on her thickest down jacket, grabbed gloves and a hat and quietly left the house. The day before, she’d cleverly laid the groundwork with Wen Wen, saying she had to go to the countryside early in the morning. At the time, Wen Wen was gnawing on a pig trotter and said nothing.

Bright moon and sparse stars, dark heaven and earth, freezing cold enough to kill someone.

A black SUV parked at the street corner with its hazard lights on. Seeing the person he was waiting for approaching, a long arm reached over to help open the car door. He was smiling, about to ask if she was cold or tired, when a resentful and angry gaze shot directly at him, piercing him with guilt. He obediently sat back, knowing her morning grumpiness wouldn’t get better for two hours, not daring to provoke her.

So he confessed on the road.

Nearly three hours of driving. Besides eating some breakfast and drinking a cup of strong coffee he’d brewed at home, occasionally checking the road conditions, Sun Xi tried to tell Xiao Jiu in as much detail as possible how he had step by step, steadily and carefully laid the groundwork to get Yu Kaixuan to approach him for dinner in a friendly, proactive manner.

In short, Sun Xi had played Brother Er Kai.

But unlike the naked manipulation of Ge Fan before, he didn’t dare play tricks with Yu Kaixuan. He also knew well that being too eager wouldn’t get him anywhere. So the first step—Sun Xi kept a low profile, appeared infrequently, kept his head down, avoided him when they ran into each other.

Of course there were times when he didn’t gauge the distance well and they ran into each other head-on. One day when parking, they both spotted the same spot. Although Sun Xi had clearly gotten there first, seeing Yu Kaixuan’s car also coming, he flexibly maneuvered and backed out, giving up the parking spot. After getting out of the car, a face-to-face encounter was inevitable. He lowered his head to greet him, called him uncle, didn’t expect a response, but seeing he didn’t get scolded, his courage grew a bit.

Then the second step—he began strategically yielding Le Sheng Huang’s interests to curry favor with Wendu Shuihui.

Including but not limited to helping shovel snow downstairs, proactively maintaining public area hygiene, giving up some parking spaces, paying out of pocket to repair the unstable voltage circuit used by both upstairs and downstairs, and even ordering the few private rooms directly above Wendu Shuihui’s guest room section to reduce disco dancing, not to disturb those downstairs, reduce complaints, maintain neighborly harmony.

Ge Fan wasn’t stupid either. He’d long seen that this wave of seemingly brainless operations had ulterior motives. Sun Xi didn’t hide it from him either. From him, he gauged Yu Kaixuan’s attitude, figured out that the other party was both aware and appreciative, felt comfortable about it, but also didn’t dare to advance too quickly. He was still missing an opportunity.

It was also coincidental that last weekend, a housewife called the police saying Wendu Shuihui’s massage center offered sexual services, saying her husband had been scammed out of a large sum of money by a female masseuse, creating an uproar both upstairs and downstairs. From short videos shot by onlookers, Sun Xi recognized that husband—he’d recently been frequently bringing a woman from out of town to Le Sheng Huang, always ordering the most expensive liquor. He specifically had someone tell the police officer downstairs and the parties involved that the adultery and fraud were committed by someone else, essentially resolving a major crisis for Wendu Shuihui.

The next day, Yu Kaixuan asked through Ge Fan if Sun Xi had time for a meal.

Sun Xi naturally agreed. At this point, if he acted aloof, that would be truly stupid. Not only would he not act aloof, he had to be more proactive. He told Ge Fan to help him convey to uncle that he would arrange the location.

He’d thought it over and felt that nothing could be more sincere than personally going to buy the freshest, most seasonal fish—the winter catch from Chagan Lake, raised in the best freshwater quality of the entire Northeast.

“Don’t you think?” The person in the driver’s seat turned his head, eyes questioning.

Yu Jiuqi just looked at him plainly, not making a sound.

“What are you looking at?” He was a bit panicked.

“Looking at how cute you are.” She teased him.

“Not charming anymore?”

“Cute and charming.”

Sun Xi knew she was worried. He was nervous too, of course, but even less willing to drag it out. He didn’t continue asking her, turned back. Seeing Chagan Lake scenic area ahead, he stared blankly for a moment, then said softly, Xiao Jiu, look.

Yu Jiuqi looked over and saw in the distance a vast, endless icy plain. Dawn had broken. The horizon was pressed down by several layers of gradient sunrise glow. Sunlight was cut into huge sword-like beams, first piercing through the sky’s edge, then leaping straight across the vast lake surface, spreading over with vigorous force.

There were already winter fishing teams and sightseeing tourists on the lake surface. In such a bitterly cold and vast world, the crowds buzzed with excitement yet were also densely tiny and insignificant.

Under this magnificence, Xiao Jiu suddenly felt that the worry that had flickered through her mind just now, that she hadn’t had time to tell Sun Xi about, didn’t matter anymore. Whether they had actively walked to this point or fate had pushed them here, whatever ups and downs lay ahead—from a distance, it was all just another spectacle under fate’s giant beam of light.

They had each stumbled their way here. What reason was there to be afraid of more changes?

Besides, isn’t the beauty of life precisely in its adventure and uncertainty?

When they arrived at the lake surface, Xiao Jiu pulled Sun Xi onto the ice field. Against the light, they took a selfie together.

He had his arm around her shoulder, she pressed her face against his, their noses frozen bright red, the corners of their eyes and brows smiling richly and sweetly. This was their first photo together in many years.

They were lucky—they happened to catch today’s first net. Following the large batch of tourists who came for the spectacle, they watched the fishermen drill holes in the ice, set nets, use horses to turn the winch. Then in the bitter cold of minus thirty-some degrees, they waited half an hour and were fortunate enough to witness a bountiful haul.

Sun Xi selected a twenty-pound bighead carp and packed it in a water tank. At that moment, a strong wind suddenly picked up. It looked like the weather was changing. They didn’t linger and drove back.

On the road back, the sky quickly darkened. Outside, cold wind howled. The accumulated snow from the last storm was rolled into fine haze, tumbling and twisting, heralding the next storm.

Along the way, there were many locals who’d missed the bus trying to hitch rides. Just after exiting the Shi City expressway, Xiao Jiu saw from afar a middle-aged uncle carrying a child on his back. Seeing him carrying two luggage bags, looking exhausted, dressed thinly, looking truly pitiful, she had Sun Xi stop and gave them a ride for a stretch.

That uncle held the child from his back, about two years old, in his arms, thanking them repeatedly. Seeing the transparent water tank behind them, he smiled and asked where they’d bought the fish—the size was really impressive. Yu Jiuqi heard his southern accent. Making small talk, she learned he was from Guangdong, visiting relatives in Shi City. She said this bighead carp was a Northeast freshwater fish, very fresh, worth trying.

Then Xiao Jiu turned back around, lamenting that she wouldn’t have the good fortune to eat it, couldn’t eat the fish stewed by her Brother Sun.

Sun Xi was driving, smiling with pursed lips: “How about I save you a section? You pick—fish head or tail?”

“Don’t. My dad hates eating fish without the head or tail. He says it looks inauspicious, unlucky.” Xiao Jiu looked at him. “Especially with New Year approaching, he could turn on you right then and there.”

“Does he have any other taboos?”

“Don’t mix beer and liquor.”

“What else?”

“Don’t leave the table until he’s drunk enough.”

Sun Xi nodded, saying don’t worry, I’ll definitely keep him good company.

At this moment, the uncle in the back suddenly interjected with a question, his voice small, as if shy and reserved: “Um, are you two a couple?”

Xiao Jiu turned around, finding it odd, but still smiled and said yes.

He kept saying oh several times, looking at the two of them: “Very good. You’re well-matched.”

Sun Xi looked at him through the rearview mirror. Seeing the corners of his mouth holding a smile, as if gratified, while the child in his arms was dark and thin, looking sickly. For some reason, his eyebrows suddenly jumped.

Before they even reached the city center, he stopped the car and let him off.

Yu Jiuqi returned to the bank after lunch. There was still some scattered work to handle. Fine snow mixed with level four or five winds fell all afternoon. Sitting in her cubicle, she was inexplicably restless, shaking her legs and stamping her feet. Just before getting off work, Yu Kaixuan suddenly called her.

Xiao Jiu nervously answered, her brain racing, thinking something had been exposed. But Brother Er Kai sounded normal, just saying a customer had given him a case of sea cucumbers. Wen Wen loved that stuff, so he wanted Xiao Jiu to come get it for her mom.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Xiao Jiu agreed. As soon as work ended, she rushed over, afraid she’d run into their dinner time. Sun Xi was stewing fish right now—Xiao Jiu had just asked him.

Yu Kaixuan was waiting for her in the car, wearing a newly bought black Descente jacket. Xiao Jiu had seen it in the family group chat a couple days ago—it was the New Year battle robe Auntie Hong had bought him. Xiao Jiu greeted him, picked up the sea cucumbers to leave. Brother Er Kai said it’s quite heavy, and the wind’s strong outside, I’ll drive you home.

On the road, Yu Jiuqi sensed something was wrong. Yu Kaixuan had a somber expression and wasn’t talking much. Xiao Jiu made awkward small talk the whole way. He’d occasionally respond with a couple sentences. Not until an intersection did he turn to ask her, have you eaten dinner yet?

Xiao Jiu casually said my mom’s not home today, I’ll order delivery when I get back. Yu Kaixuan said don’t eat delivery, I’ll take you to eat fish. Then without waiting for Xiao Jiu to refuse, he suddenly turned the car around, drove a few meters, and abruptly stopped in front of a farmhouse restaurant on the roadside.

Yu Jiuqi’s mind fell into chaos, anxious and uneasy. She suddenly understood that Dad had deliberately used a case of sea cucumbers to trick her into coming to this restaurant where you could cook your own firewood meals, to attend the banquet Sun Xi had specially arranged for him.

But, why?

“Get out.”

Yu Kaixuan stood in front of the pitch-black car door. Just like countless times in childhood when he’d taken her to freeload meals at different banquets, he very naturally called to his daughter: “Hurry up, what are you dawdling for?”

Xiao Jiu’s legs were numb. She wanted to say I’m not going, not hungry, won’t eat, don’t dare, not ready either. Spare me, Dad. I don’t want to act in front of you, but I also don’t know if you can accept the whole truth today.

Yu Kaixuan’s brows furrowed. He urged again: “What’s there to be afraid of eating a meal? Be confident about it and get out.”

Xiao Jiu responded: “Okay.”

Walking into the restaurant, she deliberately lagged behind and sent Sun Xi a WeChat message: [My dad dragged me here.]

He replied instantly: [I saw.]

[What do we do?]

[Go with the flow.]

Going with the flow meant that Xiao Jiu followed Yu Kaixuan’s stride—chest out, beer belly prominent—walking into a doorless compartment, which meant temporarily continuing the act.

She sat down next to Yu Kaixuan. For a moment, she felt extremely sad. Of all the people in the family, the one she least wanted to deceive was Dad. She wasn’t sure if this counted as deception. She didn’t think it was, but she also knew deeply that the truth behind it would hurt him to some degree.

Yu Jiuqi recalled the trouble they’d gotten into on that New Year’s Eve many years ago. Yu Kaixuan had protected her by sacrificing his dignity, then spent great effort smoothing over all the relationships, allowing Xiao Jiu to completely extricate herself from that matter. Even Meng Huihong, who he was in the passionate throes of love with at the time, he kept it completely hidden from. Then, after Xiao Jiu had been dispirited for many days, one afternoon, he called her to eat Western food. He downed a large pitcher of beer and, rarely, chatted with his teenage daughter about feelings.

He said: “Xiao Jiu, do you blame Dad? Blame Dad for driving him away?”

At the time, Xiao Jiu lowered her head stirring the pasta in her hand, tensely silent.

He took another stuffy sip of alcohol, as if it was very difficult to speak: “Do you think you two like each other?”

She nodded.

“Then do you think this is love?”

She really wanted to continue nodding, but after a long while, there was no movement.

Yu Kaixuan understood: “You don’t know if that’s love, right? Then Dad will ask you, do you think when you were little, did I love your mom?”

Xiao Jiu nodded.

“What about now?”

She shook her head.

“Don’t even say not love—a couple years ago, I even hated Wen Wen. She wants to divorce, divorces. Wants to take you away, takes you away. What, does everything have to revolve around her?” Yu Kaixuan paused, his tone softening. “But what about now? We can get along. And Dad’s fallen in love too, with someone else. Not afraid of you laughing at me, but it’s no less than back then.”

Xiao Jiu knew he was referring to Meng Huihong.

“What does this prove? Jiu, do you know?”

Xiao Jiu looked up at Dad. She saw his face was flushed, carrying some alcohol smell. Then he sighed and used a relaxed tone to speak golden words of wisdom—comforting and healing his daughter while also summarizing from his not-particularly-successful emotional experience.

He said: “This thing called love, damn it, it can disappear, it can change.”

“In this life, one will fall in love with many people.”

“And as parents, what we do is ensure that among these many people, our child takes fewer detours, at least doesn’t choose someone who will bring her harm.”

“Understand?”

Yu Jiuqi’s eyes brimmed with tears, her mouth pursed. Through blurred vision, she looked at Yu Kaixuan’s outline. She didn’t remember what she said at the time, perhaps she’d also nodded in agreement. But what she remembered most deeply was that after Dad said those words, she ruthlessly told herself—yes, she would forget Sun Xi.

They would forget each other.

Would erase this current pain and go on to love better people.

But having gone full circle, at this moment Yu Jiuqi looked at the familiar figure walking into the restaurant compartment and suddenly really wanted to ask another question following up on Dad’s words from back then.

Love does indeed change, Dad.

But in this life, is it possible for a person to fall in love with the same person over and over again?

Naturally, she didn’t ask this out loud. After Sun Xi and Ge Fan each carried in a fish platter, side dishes were gradually served as well. This undercurrent-filled, destined-to-be-turbulent Chagan Lake fish stew banquet began.

Among the several people, the most restless was Ge Fan. He didn’t know what sins he’d committed. After more than a month, he was sitting at the same table eating with these three adversaries again. Last time he could still be an idiot who didn’t know anything, cheerfully maintaining the atmosphere. At this moment, he wished he could disappear immediately, get away from this trouble. He wanted to leave, but couldn’t extricate himself.

At least during the first half of this meal, Ge Fan’s role was still very critical. Both Yu Kaixuan and Sun Xi talked around him. Every topic had to be cushioned by him, every round of drinks had to be accompanied by him. Otherwise, these few people just standing here would be an awkward social torture.

Until after several rounds of drinks, three bottles of Shuijingfang emptied, half the fish eaten, after Ge Fan had exhausted all the harmless topics he could deploy, there was a brief silence. Yu Kaixuan took a heavy breath, glanced across the table, and poured himself a glass of alcohol.

He was already somewhat drunk. Slightly raising his hand with the glass, he said: “Sun Xi, let’s have a drink, you and me.”

Yu Jiuqi had already put down her chopsticks beside them, head down fiddling with her phone, hoping this torturous meal would end soon. Suddenly hearing this, she froze slightly but didn’t move.

Sun Xi quickly poured himself alcohol, but his bottle was empty. He turned back and hurriedly grabbed a new one, opened it, filled the glass to the brim, spilled some, his fingers quickly wiping it away, then raised it high toward the other side: “Uncle.”

Yu Kaixuan just watched him fumble around, not moving: “This drink, I have to thank you.”

Sun Xi quickly said: “You don’t need to, Uncle, I…”

“Let me finish first.” Yu Kaixuan interrupted him. His tone wasn’t exactly serious, but earnest. “First of all, during this time, you upstairs have really taken care of our bathhouse. I’ve seen it all, especially last week with that massage center incident. Thank you for that.”

“Secondly, I appreciate the gesture of today’s meal. It should have been me treating you, but here I am letting you go all that way to buy a fish and stew it.”

Sun Xi smiled. Some alcohol in his glass spilled over, dripping down his fingers onto the table. He didn’t mind it.

Yu Kaixuan cleared his throat, as if giving himself some courage, suddenly raising his volume a bit: “Finally, there are two things I’ve kept in my heart. I’ve wanted to thank you for a long time. Today, taking this opportunity, let’s be clear about things—what needs to be said should be said. One is last month in the county—thanks to you finding that woman’s identity in time, Xiao Jiu ultimately didn’t get into big trouble. And then there’s nine years ago…”

Yu Jiuqi heard this key phrase. Her whole body stiffened. She gripped her phone tightly, eyes on the screen, but seeing nothing but white blankness.

Yu Kaixuan continued: “Nine years ago, you shouldered such a huge thing for Yu Jiuqi. Regardless of what caused it, as her father, I should properly thank you for protecting my daughter. Thank you for getting injured, ending up with a criminal record, sacrificing your future, and being unable to return home all these years to protect my daughter. I’m saying this too late, Sun Xi. Don’t nitpick, but I know in my heart.”

Sun Xi’s hand trembled uncontrollably. He wanted to say something, but his lips also trembled, yet he couldn’t open his mouth.

Yu Kaixuan tapped his glass on the table: “Drink.”

Sun Xi tremblingly drank that glass. Looking up again, he saw Yu Kaixuan across from him already pouring a second glass. He anticipated the words weren’t finished, anticipated the severity ahead, and refilled his own glass.

Sure enough, Yu Kaixuan looked at him, holding the glass: “And then, I also need to apologize to you. Back then I drove you away. I made you leave Shi City, told you to stay away from Yu Jiuqi from then on. That was pretty shitty, even bullying. Making you suffer so much and then become homeless—I’m sorry. Uncle apologizes to you.”

The glass tapped the table again: “Drink.”

Then he poured another glass. This time, without waiting for Sun Xi to refill, Yu Kaixuan pressed on with one breath, taking advantage of that spicy rush of alcohol hitting his brain, stating his true intention behind this heartfelt sincerity: “But Sun Xi, you shouldn’t treat me like a fool. Do you think I don’t know what you’re up to with all this? Today I’ll be frank with you—no way. Your situation with her, I won’t agree to it.”

Sun Xi’s hand gripping the bottle stopped in midair, veins bulging on his hand.

Yu Jiuqi fiercely closed her eyes, then opened them again.

Outside, cold wind howled, pattering against the glass window. Inside the compartment, there was dead silence. Several souls that had finally met in confrontation silently faced off.

Until Ge Fan spoke first: “Dad, you see…”

Yu Kaixuan suddenly turned on him, roaring angrily: “You shut your mouth! Fuck, how have I treated you all these years? You gang up with others to scheme against me? Isn’t Yu Jiuqi your sister? Do you consider us family!”

Ge Fan had never seen Yu Kaixuan lose his temper like this. Frightened, he shrank back, not daring to breathe heavily.

Xiao Jiu beside them also flinched but still didn’t lift her head.

Yu Kaixuan looked at Sun Xi, fiercely: “Did you hear me clearly?”

Sun Xi fell silent. From the corner of his eye, he glanced at Xiao Jiu with her head down. Seeing her trembling, slowly taking another breath, as if brewing to say something, he suddenly straightened his back, unwilling to let her face it.

So he looked directly across, as calmly as possible: “Uncle, why exactly?”

“What do you mean why?”

“You also know I love her, right? You also know I’ll treat her well, right? Do it again, I’d still cut that finger, would still shoulder that burden. You know that, right?”

“So what?”

Yu Kaixuan snorted with laughter, then continued: “You think blind sacrifice is enough? Even if you chopped off your hand, staked your life, to us as parents, it’s useless! What I want is for what happened that night to never have happened at all! Never happen!”

Sun Xi was suddenly provoked by the injustice accumulated over many years. He simply asked it outright.

“But that wasn’t even my fault, was it?”

“Then whose fault was it?”

“It was Yuan Xuan, it was those bastards!”

“Then why did they target you?”

Sun Xi instantly froze.

“Wasn’t it because of you? Do you want me to say it more clearly?”

“That’s all in the past.”

“Is it really all in the past?”

Sun Xi said firmly: “It’s in the past.”

Yu Kaixuan asked again, meaningfully: “Sun Xi, do you really think it’s in the past?”

Sun Xi looked at him sharply and firmly, but gradually, somehow, his gaze became unfocused.

Fine snow was beaten against the window by angry wind, rustling loudly, as if fate and karma were slapping the faces of innocent people.

Outside the window in the cold wind, a thin figure carrying a child wrapped in a cotton blanket walked past, paused briefly beneath the window, circled around to the restaurant entrance, and walked in.

The server asked what he wanted to eat. Looking up, she saw this pitiful middle-aged man was actually crying, tears streaming down his face.

Crying, he said I’m not here to eat, I’m looking for someone.