The bedroom curtains weren’t tightly drawn. Sunlight leaped forward, sweeping across at an aggressive angle, landing precisely between his sparse, indifferent brows.

His brow center tightened slightly, gathering irregular creases. His thin eyelids jumped, also restless.

Yu Jiuqi’s slender arm emerged from under the blanket. She raised her hand, holding it above both their heads, trying to help him block the dazzling winter morning sun, not daring to make too much movement, afraid of waking him.

Although she knew he’d been awake for a long time. More accurately, another night without much sleep.

Actually, closing the curtains properly might have been better, but his hand was tightly locked around her waist, not yielding an inch, making it impossible to move.

Xiao Jiu raised her eyes, watching the sunlight scatter through the gaps between her fingers, illuminating his face with a fuzzy golden glow. Playfulness arose. She moved her fingers, watching the golden light flicker and hide on his face, like playing hide-and-seek, like dancing.

“Is it fun?” His large hand suddenly applied force, pulling her close.

Xiao Jiu looked at him, seeing he still had his eyes closed, still that weary expression. She lowered her hand, placing it on his soft hair, extending her thumb to his brow center, gently rubbing, trying to smooth it out.

“Still not sleeping well?”

He knew clearly he couldn’t fool the person beside him, restraining himself as he said: “Much better than before.”

Xiao Jiu knew what his good sleep used to be like—sleeping on his side, never turning over, light snoring. But now he tossed and turned all night. Sometimes, afraid of disturbing her, he would simply escape outside to endure for a while, not returning until near dawn, like this morning.

“Why don’t you go sleep in 411?”

Sun Xi’s thin eyelids jumped.

“Or move that disco ball from the KTV back?” Xiao Jiu said again.

His brow relaxed slightly. His early morning voice was hoarse and dry: “That would make such a bad impression.”

“How so?”

Joking, he said: “Neighbors looking from outside would think our place runs some improper business.”

Xiao Jiu played along: “We basically do.”

“Hmm?”

“One of us runs a bathhouse, the other a KTV. To outsiders, it’s at least somewhat gray-area.”

Sun Xi smiled with pursed lips. Against the increasingly glaring sunlight, he lifted his eyelids and looked down at the person in his arms, kissed her forehead, then pressed her further into his embrace.

“What are you doing today?” He knew Xiao Jiu had the day off.

“Dad’s being discharged this morning.” Xiao Jiu paused, then said quietly, “I need to go home.”

The two suddenly fell into synchronized silence. Neither spoke. Even their breathing became cautious.

As if both were waiting for the other to say something first, but neither opened their mouth.

It had been several days. Although they had already moved in together, officially making their relationship public, they had never once discussed what happened that night under the cold light pillars—about Ding Manguang, about Wen Wen, about the anxiety and unknowns that still stood between them.

Their bodies were infinitely close, yet their souls were separated by forbidden boundaries and restricted zones, both eager to try yet stopping at a taste.

Xiao Jiu avoided it first, steering the conversation back. She clearly understood that Sun Xi’s sleep had deteriorated to a pathological degree, but wasn’t sure if the crux was merely that breakup from years ago. She had other suspicions but didn’t mention them. She just gently reached out to embrace him, nestling in the familiar scent of his chest, saying, why not see a doctor?

Above her head, he first slowly exhaled, then in a muffled voice said he had seen doctors for insomnia in Beijing, both Chinese medicine and Western medicine. Xiao Jiu said quietly, what about a psychologist?

The sun rose higher and higher. Sun Xi’s face was now completely immersed in that patch of sunlight. He didn’t speak, his eyelashes casting a small shadow beneath his eyes.

His chest was scalding yet dully heavy. Clearly this was the embrace he most craved on this rare winter sunny day—the temperature and flesh and blood were all tangible—yet there was this vague illusion, like holding a handful of sand, unwilling to let go, not daring to apply force.

But also worried that continued silence and internal friction would cause that handful of sand to slip away grain by grain on its own.

So suddenly he pressed her down on the bed, leaning over, burying himself in her slender neck, accurately finding the position where her pulse beat most powerfully, using this as a starting point to slowly grind kisses downward, just like in these moments of powerlessness as always, using his habitual method to greedily trace and possess with all his senses.

She had once described him at such times as exactly like a vampire. He didn’t refute her. If she said so, then so be it.

He also felt her metaphor was already quite restrained. He saw himself as a beast, a monster, and the damp sticky moss in dark corners.

Occupying her without retreating, in the dazzling sunlight, insisting on sinking together.

Two hours later, Sun Xi left first. He was going to the industrial and commercial bureau today to submit some supplementary documents. Standing in the entrance hall, having changed his shoes, he suddenly dawdled, as if hesitating about something.

Circling around that forbidden boundary and restricted zone, he supported himself with one hand on the shoe cabinet, turning to call her: “Jiu.”

Xiao Jiu was still wearing home clothes, eating a mochi ball, walking out from the kitchen in response: “Hmm?”

“Help me get the employee social insurance documents.”

“Where are they?”

“On the bookshelf.”

She went to the bookshelf: “Where on the bookshelf?”

“Under the file folder.” His voice suddenly turned cold and hard, as if emphasizing, “That kraft paper folder.”

Xiao Jiu saw it immediately. Very obvious, placed alone in an empty space. Her hand and gaze both paused: “Found it.”

After handing it to him, Sun Xi glanced at Xiao Jiu again, not rushing to leave.

Xiao Jiu waited a while. Seeing he didn’t speak, she held out the half-eaten mochi: “Want some?”

Sun Xi actually opened his mouth. She fed it to him.

After the door closed, Xiao Jiu slowly turned back, looking toward the bookshelf, blinking.

Xiao Jiu had thought Yu Kaixuan’s hospital discharge would be a big production, but from the hospital to home, coming and going to help arrange things, aside from the bathhouse’s Xu Ming and Brother Dali, everyone was family.

Second Brother Kai had specifically instructed that with New Year approaching and no serious illness, they wouldn’t receive visitors. Auntie Hong also mentioned in the family group chat not to make a big fuss, no gatherings either—the doctor instructed complete rest before New Year. The group was quiet, just a few younger generation kids sending some perfunctory emojis. After that, the family group had no more activity.

Wen Wen never said a word. Even for Yu Kaixuan’s discharge, she didn’t show up. She only sent a huge flower basket together with Manager Xiao Fu.

Yu Kaixuan, strapped in a back brace, walking stiffly and mechanically, just entered the front door when he immediately spotted the nearly half-person-height flower basket standing there. He instantly knew it was from Wen Wen, muttering that he’d told her he didn’t want this thing, why did she still buy it? That old lady. Have Zhu Duomei move it away later—too fragrant, it’s overwhelming.

Xiao Jiu followed behind carrying a bag of Dad’s change of clothes, hearing between the lines that he seemed to be in contact with Wen Wen. She pricked up her ears, hoping he would say more, but Second Brother Kai changed topics, entered the room, lay down on the bed, and asked Xu Ming about Wendu Water Resort’s recent situation.

Yu Jiuqi turned around, looking at that rather tropical-style giant flower basket, seeing a handwritten card tucked between two tall sunflowers, the rounded childish handwriting on it belonging to Wen Wen.

She was stunned for a moment, until she heard someone mention her name, then came back to her senses.

Xu Ming answered Yu Kaixuan’s question loudly, saying Brother, you can rest easy. These past few days our bathhouse revenue has been climbing daily. We’re all working from dawn to dusk, can’t even keep up with the busyness. It’s thanks to Xiao Jiu. Xiao Jiu’s been there almost every day, helping handle customer complaints and feedback, keeping an eye on various department trivialities, upstairs and downstairs, she can take care of everything. He lowered his voice, saying mainly these past few days with you and Sister Hong both away, Xiao Jiu’s presence gave everyone a backbone.

Yu Kaixuan tilted his head, looking outward from the master bedroom bedside. Through the door frame, he saw Xiao Jiu in the living room, head down tidying the house. The house had been empty for several days, accumulating quite a bit of housework and dust.

Second Brother Kai stared at his daughter for a moment, watching her fold clothes, then arrange the sofa. She still looked like that obedient, sensible appearance. When others spoke to her, she smiled, smiling in agreement, clever and gentle. But something felt off to him—just a wave of melancholy, feeling that Xiao Jiu had changed.

“Xiao Jiu.” Yu Kaixuan called her softly.

“Yes, Dad.” Xiao Jiu took two steps, coming to stand in the master bedroom doorway.

Yu Kaixuan suddenly didn’t know what to say, hesitating as he asked: “You’re always running to the bathhouse—what about the bank?”

Xiao Jiu didn’t hide it: “I took an extended leave, combining it with my annual leave.”

“That won’t work! Won’t that affect your evaluation? Next year no matter what you should strive to be promoted to commercial loan manager!” Yu Kaixuan was anxious.

But Xiao Jiu wasn’t anxious: “It’s fine.”

“What do you mean it’s fine!”

“We’ll talk about it later.”

“What do you mean we’ll talk about it!”

“Next year’s matters, we’ll discuss next year.” Xiao Jiu suddenly looked at Dad cautiously.

Yu Kaixuan’s heart suddenly seized, as if gripped hard by an invisible large hand, more painful than his lower back that felt like it had a nail hammered into it. He steadied himself, but Xiao Jiu had already left.

Inexplicably irritable, Yu Kaixuan no longer had the mood for pleasantries and chased away all the bathhouse people. Ge Fan insisted on dismounting the living room TV to install in the bedroom, walking back and forth annoyingly. Second Brother Kai yelled at him a couple times, saying stop it, I’m not watching. Besides, if I want to watch TV I’ll go to the living room. It’s just my back that’s not working well, I’m not paralyzed.

Ge Fan didn’t dare talk back, looking at Meng Huihong with difficulty. Seeing his mother give him a look, he left with his head down.

But Yu Kaixuan suddenly called him: “Did you take leave too?”

Ge Fan said: “No, it’s just these past two days the KTV hasn’t been too busy.”

“Peak season at year-end, how is it not busy?”

Ge Fan said he didn’t know.

“If you ask me, this newcomer just doesn’t cut it. Thinks money in a small place is so easy to make.” Yu Kaixuan snorted, his tone not serious, then glanced at Xiao Jiu in the living room after speaking.

Ge Fan also followed suit, glancing at Yu Jiuqi mopping the floor, seeing she clearly heard but said nothing.

Everyone could hear that this mildly toned remark was Yu Kaixuan deliberately handing to Xiao Jiu, hoping she would pick it up. With her usually sharp and perceptive personality, climbing up the ladder, being unreasonably persistent and saying some nice words, she might pave the way at home for her unwelcome boyfriend. But she remained silent.

The room suddenly fell quiet for a long time, until a snap sound came from the doorway.

Xiao Jiu looked over. The handwritten card from the flower basket had fallen to the ground.

After lunch, Yu Jiuqi went to Wendu Water Resort. She first went to the Naughty Castle game room to check on Third Uncle. Third Uncle was afraid of the cold. These past few days he’d been living at Wendu Water Resort. Coincidentally, an old employee was his childhood friend who could help take care of him.

After seeing Third Uncle, Xiao Jiu went to handle bathhouse matters. Today the bathhouse was simultaneously receiving two southern tourist groups. One group wasn’t staying overnight. Room scheduling worked out, but the sauna rooms and restaurant were both crowded. Even the self-paid VIP restaurant had long queues. The self-service area was even more unable to meet demand, with several fruit varieties once in short supply.

Xiao Jiu, together with Sister Liu who was in charge of food and beverage, specifically ran to two markets, snatching goods from a supermarket, barely securing two boxes of jackfruit and Sunshine Rose grapes. After returning, she also set up a large projector in the book bar lounge, specifically playing the hottest current variety shows, attracting many people. The sauna room gradually emptied out.

She stayed in Yu Kaixuan’s office, reviewing several personnel, revenue, and procurement documents. When encountering complex ones, she photographed them to confirm with Dad, then signed them all uniformly. Yu Jiuqi was legally a director of Wendu Water Resort with certain management authority.

Then she suddenly heard a rumbling music sound outside. She pushed open the door, standing in the office doorway, seeing the self-service dining area in the distance beginning to serve limited seafood. Same old rule—lights and DJ cooperating, customers queuing while dancing, except today the lead dancer wasn’t Second Brother Kai but a server she wasn’t too familiar with.

That server saw Xiao Jiu, twisted their hips over, wanting to pull her to dance together. Xiao Jiu waved her hand with no expression, saying I don’t know how. Seeing her insistence, the person twisted their hips and left.

Yu Jiuqi just watched the enthusiastic carnival ahead, a wild dance of demons. Quite a few familiar faces greeted her. She responded faintly to all, then suddenly felt emotional—she no longer needed to pretend to be happy, but was still a certain distance from true happiness.

For a moment she wondered—clearly things were all developing in the direction she wanted, clearly she had spit out that poisonous weed suppressed for many years, clearly she was already being herself, so why was she still so uneasy, hesitant?

Why did her heart still have regrets, as if someone had hollowly dug out a large piece?

She couldn’t sort out what that piece of loss contained. Really wanting to talk to someone, she opened WeChat, pulling up Sun Xi’s chat window to look. The conversation stopped at this afternoon when Sun Xi asked what she wanted to eat for dinner. Xiao Jiu said they’d discuss when they met. Sun Xi said okay. Scrolling forward, it was all roughly like this.

She closed her phone and waited until getting off work.

After work, Yu Jiuqi walked out of Wendu Water Resort’s main entrance, directly circling to the back, walking into Le Sheng Huang’s main entrance.

Now that she was dating Le Sheng Huang’s new owner, Sun Yuwen’s son, was practically common knowledge. Behind her back there was naturally no shortage of gossip. But she still came up to wait for Sun Xi every day after finishing her busy work, waiting to go home together with him, not caring about anyone’s gaze.

Xiao Jiu exited the elevator, meeting Lin Hui head-on, smiling and greeting her, walking directly toward 411.

Passing a medium-sized private room, the door suddenly opened. High-heeled boots made several crisp thuds. Someone stumbled over, grabbing her arm.

“Xiao Jiu, come, play for a bit!”

Yu Jiuqi turned her head, seeing Zhu Duomei dressed as a hot girl. Looks like she was also on vacation, beginning her fairy days of nightly revelry. Xiao Jiu waved her hand, saying you all play, Sister. I’m looking for someone.

“Looking for who?” Zhu Duomei smiled at her, deliberately asking.

Before Xiao Jiu could answer, she grabbed her shoulder and pushed her toward the private room, saying: “Looking for him?”

Xiao Jiu looked over. In the private room, aside from an unfamiliar man and woman singing, on the opposite single sofa, Sun Xi wore a black shirt, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, with several bottles of liquor in front of him, mixing drinks.

The sound system was very loud, so he didn’t speak. He just looked at Xiao Jiu, helplessly shrugging his shoulders, meaning I’m not here voluntarily, I have no choice either.

Zhu Duomei, drunk, leaned close to Xiao Jiu’s ear and loudly explained: “Soft-eared. I just greeted him and he sent over a bottle of liquor. I called him brother-in-law once and he simply came over to help us mix drinks.”

Sun Xi sat there, raising his eyebrows, not responding.

Probably due to Zhu Duomei’s free and unrestrained personality, she had the highest acceptance level of their relationship among all family members. Ge Fan still felt somewhat awkward when alone with them to this day. Zhu Duomei had long ago started treating Sun Xi as family to tease.

Xiao Jiu remembered last week, when they had just announced their relationship by moving in together, Zhu Duomei sent her three consecutive WeChat messages.

【Alright little sister, that Boss Sun is divine quality.】

【You treat him well. When you’re done with him, Sister will help you treat him for two days.】

Finally saying: 【Heard from Ge Fan about your childhood matters. Too moving. Is it really not made up?】

Later, whenever Zhu Duomei ran into Xiao Jiu, she loved pulling her to ask about past events. Perhaps she herself considered herself a cold person, didn’t believe such pure burning love existed in the world. So having encountered it, it became extraordinarily precious, like encountering rare treasures, deeply knowing they were unique pieces, taking a glance for comfort.

So after that singing couple took a phone call and went out, the sound system still looping music, Zhu Duomei leaned against the doorway sofa, chin tilting toward Sun Xi opposite, asking Xiao Jiu: “So you two were also together in Beijing?”

Xiao Jiu sat closer to Zhu Duomei, nodding.

Sun Xi came over, placing two small glasses of mixed sweet liquor in front of them, then sat back down, switching to the next flavor.

Zhu Duomei downed that glass in one gulp, asking again: “You two separated for three years and neither dated anyone else?”

Xiao Jiu also sipped the liquor, still finding it spicy, nodding.

“So he came back for you?”

Yu Jiuqi suddenly froze, pausing before saying: “His uncle had that construction accident, called him back.”

“No, I’m asking about the second time.” Zhu Duomei emphasized.

“The second time.” Xiao Jiu inexplicably repeated.

“It was for you, right?”

Xiao Jiu held that small glass of liquor he had mixed, silent, no reaction.

Zhu Duomei pressed: “Didn’t he come back to find you?”

Still no answer. After a while, Yu Jiuqi tilted her head back and drank that small glass in one gulp.

The alcohol surged through her nasal cavity rushing to her head, choking her to close her eyes slightly. After adapting, recovering, opening her eyes, she saw the person mixing drinks on the opposite single sofa had already disappeared.

Yet that row of bartending tools was still there, the new flavor only half-completed, emptily displayed.

She didn’t know when he had left.

But he probably wouldn’t come back.

After that couple returned and sang another duet love song together, seeing the private room lively with a decent atmosphere, she greeted Zhu Duomei and left.

Going directly to 411.

Pushing the door open.

Closing the door.

He lay with his head back on the sofa, long legs bent, one hand cushioning his head behind, one hand playing with that blue bouncy ball, throwing it at the wall, catching it, throwing again, catching it.

Xiao Jiu recognized that bouncy ball. She wasn’t unfamiliar with his suddenly low aura at this moment. They should talk, but she didn’t want to now. She didn’t want to argue with Sun Xi anymore.

So after sitting a while, she stood up: “Why don’t you work first? I’ll head home.”

But he suddenly spoke: “Is it because of those letters?”

Xiao Jiu stood there, unable to move a single step.

The ball hit the wall with a dull thud.

He said: “Didn’t I just leave them there?”

Xiao Jiu thought of that kraft paper folder she had seen many times, the one he specifically reminded her about this morning. At this point, she couldn’t deny it, only saying: “You also didn’t say to let me look.”

The ball hit again. Caught.

“I thought if you were curious, you would have asked long ago.”

“That’s your privacy.”

“My privacy, heh.”

The ball hit hard again, louder. He laughed coldly, catching it again.

Xiao Jiu was suddenly provoked to anger, looking at him: “What are you laughing at?”

Sun Xi threw the ball once more: “Nothing.”

She got even angrier: “Sun Xi, can you stop playing with that ball?”

Sun Xi suddenly threw the ball forcefully to the side, turning to sit up. Xiao Jiu thought he was angry. Her eyes avoided his. Following that bouncy ball rolling on the ground, bouncing up and down, finally drilling under the invisible sofa bottom, she slowly turned to look at him. Just one glance made her shiver hard.

His elbows supported his legs, back slightly hunched, head raised looking directly over, lips pressed together, the whites of his eyes reddened. Although he deliberately controlled himself forcefully, wanting to be as steady as usual, or act tough, the vulnerability and pain on his face were fully exposed.

With difficulty, after several attempts, he finally mustered the courage to speak, saying what he had concealed deepest in his life, most embarrassing, and what tormented him most severely.

That forbidden boundary, restricted zone—he clenched his fists and leaped across.

Looking at Xiao Jiu, saying: “You want me to say it myself, right? Fine, then I’ll tell you. That Ding Manguang was right. He has indeed been writing me letters.”

“In those letters, he told me about the case from back then.”

“About my mother.”

“About his time in prison.”

“Fucking everything down to the smallest detail!” He roared with a crying tone.

Then steadying himself, saying: “Whatever you want to know, you can ask me.”

Xiao Jiu hesitated for a moment. She could see he wasn’t feeling well right now. She couldn’t bear it, but still asked: “The letters, did he start writing them three years ago?”

“Yes, right after he got cancer.”

“He said he was repenting to our family?”

“Yes.”

“He asked you to go do something, to atone for sins?”

“Yes.”

“Did you agree?”

“I never wrote back.”

“But did you do it?”

Sun Xi looked straight at her, his whole body rigid.

“You can just say it directly, Jiu.”

Xiao Jiu really did say it straightforwardly, with grievance, fear, and nervousness about not daring to hear the answer: “Sun Xi, did you come back to atone for his sins?”

“Are you atoning for his sins?”

Sun Xi tensed his face, frowning as he looked at her, incredulous, even wanting to laugh.