Shen Xihe didn’t know what expression to show to Xiao Huayong. His self-praising words were delivered in such a matter-of-fact tone, yet with his dignified bearing and composed demeanor, one couldn’t help but feel his words were beyond question.
Though seeing Shen Xihe’s speechlessness, Xiao Huayong pretended not to notice and instead asked seriously, “Do Youyou think my words inappropriate?”
Taking a light deep breath, Shen Xihe truly had no way to refute him. While she felt he was somewhat self-satisfied, she had to admit he had the capital to be so. She could only respond stiffly, “What you say is right.”
Her expression appeared somewhat wooden as if she’d spoken against her true feelings – a look Xiao Huayong had never seen before. Thinking of her usual calm intelligence, so unlike her current state, Xiao Huayong felt an inexplicable tingling in his fingers. He squeezed his fingers, trying to control himself, but ultimately couldn’t resist reaching out to pinch her cheek.
As the delicate sensation reached his fingertips, Xiao Huayong suddenly realized what he’d done instinctively, and for a moment didn’t know what to do, feeling both lingering attachment to the soft warmth and anxiety about her reaction.
This was the first time someone had pinched Shen Xihe’s cheek, at least in her memory, and she was momentarily stunned.
By the time she reacted, Xiao Huayong had already withdrawn his offending hand and was seriously holding his teacup, lowering his head to take a small sip.
Looking at Xiao Huayong calmly drinking tea, Shen Xihe even wondered if having her cheek pinched had been an illusion. She unconsciously touched her cheek, where the warmth of his fingertips seemed to still linger.
The warmth made Shen Xihe feel somewhat flushed.
Strangely enough, though the poison in Xiao Huayong’s body was cold, becoming particularly fierce in winter, his body wasn’t particularly cold. He only became especially sensitive to cold from late autumn through early spring. After early spring, for a long time, he seemed as if he hadn’t been poisoned at all. Because of this, Shen Xihe had specifically discussed with Sui Axi and others whether the poison in Xiao Huayong’s body feared heat.
Sui Axi and Xie Yunhuai both agreed with this speculation, but no matter how they experimented, they couldn’t make further progress. They could only obtain poisoned blood from Xiao Huayong’s body. Xie Yunhuai believed they needed the actual poison to distinguish things clearly.
“Late autumn is approaching,” thinking of this, Shen Xihe couldn’t help but sigh softly, putting aside what had happened earlier and looking worriedly at Xiao Huayong.
Xiao Huayong’s birthday was also approaching. After this birthday, he would be twenty-two. Outside, people said he wouldn’t live past two cycles, and these words weren’t entirely false. If the poison in his body remained unresolved, then he…
Her mood dropped unexpectedly, and how could someone as perceptive as Xiao Huayong not understand what she was thinking about?
Leaning forward and taking her hand, his eyes gentle, he asked, “Youyou, what birthday gift have you prepared for me this year?”
“What do you want?” Shen Xihe’s gaze fell on their joined hands, her long lashes trembling slightly as she gripped his hand back and looked up to ask softly, her obsidian eyes bright yet gentle.
“Anything I want is fine?” Xiao Huayong’s gaze shifted, a mischievous smile spilling from the corner of his eye.
Shen Xihe didn’t speak but nodded without hesitation yet with absolute firmness.
Her seriousness made Xiao Huayong put away his playful expression, sighing almost inaudibly, “Youyou, they say that trouble lives a thousand years. I’ve never thought of myself as a good person, and there’s still much time ahead – why should we grieve over autumn winds?”
“If you think there’s still much time, why are you pushing so urgently, so impatiently?” Shen Xihe countered.
Xiao Huayong carried a complex smile on his lips, both joy and bitterness within: “I knew I could never hide it from you.”
He had already begun laying out his plans. This trip to Dengzhou was filled with hidden dangers at every turn, forcing Xiao Zhangyan to move according to his calculations, allowing him to reach Dengzhou as planned.
This time in Dengzhou was extremely dangerous. It wouldn’t be difficult to strike fatally – he could even use natural and human disasters to eliminate both Xiao Zhangyan and Xiao Zhangqin at once. In the imperial court, without these two, no one would be Shen Xihe’s match.
There was still some time. If he could send the Emperor away at the last moment, the path he was paving for her would be clear.
“Bei Chen, please don’t do this, alright?” Shen Xihe couldn’t describe where the breathless feeling in her chest came from.
In her childhood, when she was weak, she often felt this way. She couldn’t move quickly, couldn’t travel far, couldn’t be startled, couldn’t worry – otherwise, she might lose her breath at any moment and faint, perhaps never to wake again.
After taking the Bone-Shedding Dan, she never had this feeling again, yet now it suddenly returned.
Xiao Huayong remained silent.
Shen Xihe looked at him: “Bei Chen, how certain are you of success? No, perhaps I should ask, how much will you have to sacrifice to succeed?”
Shen Xihe didn’t doubt that Xiao Huayong could do it, but how much would need to be sacrificed to achieve this? Xiao Zhangqin and Xiao Zhangyan weren’t ordinary people – if it came to blows, even victory would be pyrrhic.
Both men had skilled martial artists protecting them, and they were accomplished in martial arts. Xiao Huayong would inevitably have to fight personally, and if he had a poison attack during a life-or-death struggle, the consequences would be unthinkable.
“On the one hand, you tell me not to worry, yet on the other, you arrange everything as if preparing for the aftermath…” As she spoke, Shen Xihe’s eyes grew slightly sour, “You truly are… a man who says one thing but means another.”
The hint of blood red at the corner of her eye made Xiao Huayong’s heart stop, feeling himself deserving of death. He hurriedly said, “I was wrong, I did say one thing and mean another, I made plans without consulting you. You can scold me, be angry with me, hit me – whatever punishment, I’ll willingly accept it. Please don’t be upset.”
Shen Xihe was a strong woman. Though she felt some distress, it was only momentary – how could she shed tears?
Though feeling her sadness, yet unable to see any trace of it or find evidence, Xiao Huayong was so anxious he didn’t know what to do, not knowing how to comfort her, only repeatedly admitting his fault.
“Don’t make your move in Dengzhou. The people there have suffered enough. As those in power, we shouldn’t add frost to snow,” Shen Xihe said softly.
Drought, landslides, and the emerging floods – this year would be remembered as a disaster for life by the people of Dengzhou. She didn’t want the struggle and competition for power to strike another heavy blow on their backs, which might break them completely.
“Yes, yes, yes, I promise,” Xiao Huayong agreed repeatedly.
“Bei Chen, I’m not a kind person, nor dare I say that to this day, I haven’t harmed any innocent people,” Shen Xihe thought for a moment and continued, “To survive, to protect those dearest to me, I too have times when I indulge in selfish desires. I just think, if we can carry fewer sins, we should.”
Like them, people bound by power had no right to possess pure souls.