Could it be… that she was expecting?
These past months had been so relentlessly busy that she’d never once had the time to sit down and eat a proper meal. It had to be said — Ziqing had completely neglected her own body. Ever since Yanzi had submerged her in that corpse-poison water, her physical condition had never been particularly good, and even her monthly cycle had grown irregular — she had entirely overlooked this possibility!
Thinking back on it now, it had been nearly three months since that time with Jun Beiyue in the snow.
“A child…”
The words rose unbidden in her mind. She slowly lowered her head, gazing at her own belly for a long, long moment, not yet daring to touch it.
To place a hand on her own belly!
Was it a child?
Was there truly a child coming?
She hadn’t felt anything different before — but after all these days of eating and sleeping, why did her belly suddenly feel a little different, rounder than before?
Could it be that her body had been simply too weak before to notice it at all?
Was that why she’d been so drowsy, so ravenously hungry these past days — because she’d been simply too weak?
A child. Her child, and Jun Beiyue’s.
Ziqing kept her head bowed, her pale hand hovering just above her belly, trembling, unable to bring herself to touch it.
“A child…”
She murmured the word aloud, her voice trembling as well.
A child — the child that man had promised her.
Before they’d parted that last time, he’d said: once the war is over, let’s have a child. Never mind being immune to all poisons, never mind being an orphan of the isolated island, never mind whether the child would be human or Gu!
But now the child had come, and he wasn’t beside her at all — in that raging storm, he had held another woman’s hand, and let go of her.
Ziqing’s whole body began to sag forward; her hand never made it to her belly, instead bracing itself against the ground.
At last, the pain she’d suppressed within herself for so many days, hidden away, refused to be held back any longer. She bowed her head against the ground, her forehead pressed tight against the cold stone floor. No one could see her expression, but her entire body trembled violently.
“Jun Beiyue, where are you?”
“Jun Beiyue, what are you doing right now?”
“Jun Beiyue, are you searching for me at all?”
“Jun Beiyue, is Bai Mengmeng still by your side?”
“Jun Beiyue… we… we’re going to have a child…”
…
She had no father, no mother, no siblings, no family, no friends — not until she met him.
He had, in truth, filled every one of those roles at once — family, friend, lover.
In her world, there had only ever, ever been him.
Because of him, she’d found Situ Haonan and Yelu Qianqian — the only two friends she’d ever truly trusted, the only two who never schemed against her.
Because of him, she’d always kept a certain distance from Lige, that rare kindred soul.
He was everything.
It wasn’t that she was naturally solitary — it was simply the fate she’d been dealt.
A mercenary in her past life, an orphan in this one.
Not until she met him did her world suddenly open up, suddenly feel safe. Only then did she come to know there truly was an embrace in this world she could rely on, someone who would shield and protect her.
How could she possibly just stop wanting that, just like that?
How could she possibly just stop loving him, just like that?
She couldn’t let go of it, and yet she couldn’t understand — why, at the very moment she needed him most, had he turned away?
So many times before, when she’d needed him and he wasn’t there, she hadn’t minded — she’d gritted her teeth and pushed through on her own.
But that didn’t mean he could be absent every single time!
“Jun Beiyue… we’re going to have a child, and yet… you’re still not here!”
Ziqing kept her head bowed, unsure whether she was crying or not, her voice so heavy with sorrow, tinged with utter despair — as if it were the Lishang score she hadn’t played in so long.
She kept murmuring to herself, indistinct except for those three words: Jun Beiyue!
If a woman’s heart had truly died, that name would never fall from her lips again.
But a wounded heart, in truth, was far more agonizing than a dead one.
After a long while, Ziqing slowly lifted her head, her gaze somewhat hollow. She hadn’t cried — she’d said she wouldn’t, and she wouldn’t.
But then, in an instant, everything went dark before her eyes, and she slipped into unconsciousness!
To be wounded so deeply in the heart that one fainted from it — what unbearable torment that must be!
Seeing this, the big foolish bear grew frantic. It no longer cared whether Ziqing was truly a special-grade poisonous beast or not — desperate, it rubbed its long snout against her, but no matter how it nuzzled her, she wouldn’t wake.
It tried licking her, but even after a long while of licking, Ziqing still wouldn’t stir.
The big foolish bear let out anxious howls, circling around Ziqing again and again, utterly unable to understand what had happened. A child was coming — wasn’t that supposed to be something to celebrate? Why was she so devastated?
The big foolish bear paced in frantic circles, on the verge of madness!
Finally, its gaze fell on the empty honeycomb. It wondered — could it be that this creature simply hadn’t eaten enough?
And so, it gently picked Ziqing up in its mouth, carried her to the most hidden corner of the cave, and immediately rushed out to search for food.
Day after day passed in the world of poisonous beasts, and day after day passed in the world above as well.
Yelu Qianqian and Yingzi hadn’t gotten any useful information at Nangong Cheng. The people there only said that when they had left, Situ Haonan and Han Ziqing had still been at Mingsha Mountain, and refused to say anything more — they didn’t even mention the fact that the Situ Cheng patriarch had been involved!
They simply drove the two of them out.
To Yelu Qianqian and Yingzi, this piece of information was essentially worthless either way.
Yelu Qianqian, breathless with fury, snapped, “Yingzi, I’m going back to West Jing. I’m going to have Father send troops to wipe out that entire clan! This is absolutely outrageous — what kind of people are they!”
“You’re half in-laws with them now,” Yingzi said with a cold smirk.
“Pah! Let me tell you, I don’t accept it. If Situ Haonan wants to acknowledge them, that’s his business — this princess would rather die than acknowledge that clan! What kind of people are they!” Yelu Qianqian was so furious she felt she might cough up blood.
Yingzi’s expression turned grim and menacing. “Just wait. If my master wakes up, the very first ones he won’t forgive will be Nangong Cheng.”
Seeing the sinister look on Yingzi’s face, Yelu Qianqian couldn’t help but feel a flicker of fear.
“Let’s go. To the small Mobei town.” Yingzi said flatly, no longer dwelling on the matter of Nangong Cheng.
There was nothing left at Mingsha Mountain, and nothing had turned up at Nangong Cheng either — the search parties had turned up no leads whatsoever, even now.
It was only in Mobei that Yingzi needed to go personally.
He wasn’t going there to search for anyone — he knew, without a doubt, that something had happened to the Consort; otherwise she wouldn’t have vanished for so long without a single word.
He was going there to beg. He intended to plead with the long-reclusive Xuanyuan Lige to re-enter the world and help find the Consort.
In this entire world, as far as Yingzi could see, the only person besides Prince Yao who might offer any real hope was Xuanyuan Lige.
“Will he agree to it?” Yelu Qianqian asked timidly. She wasn’t well acquainted with Xuanyuan Lige, but after their last meeting, she’d had the distinct impression that man intended to never leave that small Mobei town for the rest of his life.
“He’ll agree. He absolutely will agree! He must know nothing about any of this yet!” Yingzi said with complete certainty.
With that, Yingzi immediately leapt onto his horse and rode off at a gallop.
In his heart, he silently confessed his fault. “Master, please forgive this servant for seeking out that man — forgive this servant for acting on his own authority. This servant truly had no other choice left.”