After working at the newspaper for several days, Zhou Wan found she truly preferred this kind of work. Although it was busier and more tiring, with frequent field assignments and overtime, she found the work meaningful.
On the weekend, Zhou Wan went with Lu Xixiao to visit the grandmother they had interviewed last time. On the way, Zhou Wan bought some meat, vegetables, and instant food.
Outside the courtyard, a little girl sat by the door, looking about 7 or 8 years old. She was fair-skinned and cute, though her clothes didn’t fit well – they were a bit too big, probably second-hand clothes from neighbors.
“This must be the grandmother’s granddaughter,” Zhou Wan said to Lu Xixiao.
“Mm.” He stopped the car. “Let’s go in and see.”
Zhou Wan paused, then leaned over and said softly: “You can wait in the car if you’d like.”
Although they had helped clean the grandmother’s house last time, the place hadn’t been thoroughly cleaned for a long time. The ceiling and walls had blackened over the years, and there was an indescribable unpleasant odor.
While Lu Xixiao wasn’t a germaphobe, he had never set foot in such a place before and might feel uncomfortable.
Lu Xixiao looked at her and laughed, ruffling her hair: “What do you take me for, made of paper?”
He got out of the car, opened the trunk, and took out the bedding and walking stick they had brought.
Zhou Wan tried to help carry things but was stopped by him, so she could only take the bag of vegetables from the back seat.
She walked up to the little girl, bent down, and smiled: “Little one, is your grandmother inside?”
“Yes.” The little girl turned and ran inside, shouting, “Grandmother!”
The old grandmother remembered Zhou Wan. Seeing her, she exclaimed “Oh my!” and laboriously shuffled out: “Young lady, why have you come again? It must be such a long trip?”
“I came to see you.” Zhou Wan smiled, her eyes curved, as she helped carry the vegetables into the kitchen.
The grandmother was moved to tears, holding Zhou Wan’s hands, repeatedly saying thank you and telling her not to bring so many things next time, that it was too much.
“If my grandmother were still alive, she’d be about your age,” Zhou Wan said. “Seeing you reminds me of her. Making your life a bit more comfortable makes me feel better too.”
The grandmother patted Zhou Wan’s hand: “My condolences, young lady. With such a kind heart, your grandmother must be very proud of you in heaven.”
Zhou Wan smiled and shook her head: “I hope so.”
…
The little girl knew the brother and sister had come to help them. She took Lu Xixiao’s hand and led him to sit in the chair by the door: “Brother, please sit for a while.”
Lu Xixiao obliged.
The wooden chair was very low, and with his height and long legs, he looked somewhat cramped.
“How old are you?” he asked.
“Seven, I’m in first grade now.”
Lu Xixiao noticed the Chinese textbook on the bench nearby and raised an eyebrow: “How are your grades?”
“Okay,” the girl said.
“Study hard, and when you earn money later, you can give grandmother a good life,” Lu Xixiao said.
The girl paused. She crouched down, lowered her head, and traced circles on the ground with her finger: “Grandmother’s health isn’t good. I’m afraid… by the time I can earn money, she’ll be gone.”
Lu Xixiao’s eyelashes trembled.
He thought of Zhou Wan silently breaking down in that dark room filled with a coal gas smell.
Though the girl was young, they say children from poor families mature early. She was much more mature than others her age.
“I don’t want to study anymore,” the girl said. “Each semester costs several hundred yuan, but grandmother won’t even go to the hospital when she’s sick… I wish… I wish daddy hadn’t found me back then.”
“…”
“If daddy hadn’t picked me up, he wouldn’t have had to work so hard, and maybe he wouldn’t have died from cerebral hemorrhage. Grandmother wouldn’t be alone like now, having to take care of me instead.”
As the little girl spoke, her eyes slowly reddened. “Brother, can you promise me something?”
Lu Xixiao wasn’t good at handling such situations. He lowered his eyes and softened his voice: “What is it?”
“Could you help look after grandmother a little in the future?”
Lu Xixiao frowned slightly.
“I was just an abandoned burden, to begin with, I’ll be a burden wherever I go. If I leave, grandmother’s life will be easier,” the little girl said chokingly.
Lu Xixiao was stunned: “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere,” the little girl said. “After all, if daddy hadn’t found me, I probably would have frozen to death that winter.”
These words seemed impossible coming from such a young child.
But this was what she had been thinking about for the two years since her father’s death. She didn’t want to be a burden, especially not to her grandmother. Her father and grandmother were her benefactors; she couldn’t repay their kindness with trouble.
Today’s sunlight was somewhat harsh.
Lu Xixiao narrowed his eyes, seeing shadows of Zhou Wan’s past in this little girl.
After Zhou Jun’s death, Guo Xiangling viewed her as a burden and abandoned her, leaving her alone. From then on, Zhou Wan had only her grandmother to depend on.
When Lu Xixiao met her, she was already working to earn money, but when Zhou Jun died, she was only ten. Like this little girl, she had gone through a time of helplessness, watching her grandmother’s health deteriorate while being unable to do anything, feeling like a burden dragging at her grandmother’s legs, making her too tired to even walk.
Lu Xixiao suddenly understood why Zhou Wan had become who she was.
Why does she always habitually choose to run away?
Why she had been able to leave so decisively back then?
Perhaps, for her, it wasn’t even about running away, but about doing what she thought was right.
The young woman had forced herself to use the most rational, mature approach to find the best solution. She saw herself as a burden, an encumbrance, and could only remove herself from his life so he could move forward without hesitation.
Just like what Zhou Wan had told him that year on the “Eye of the City.”
She had encountered those misfortunes when she was too young.
Lu Xixiao didn’t know what Guo Xiangling had done to her in those years, how many harsh words she had spoken, to make someone like Zhou Wan develop thoughts of revenge, to shape her into someone with such a complicated personality.
Lu Xixiao’s heart suddenly surged with indescribable emotions.
How he wished he could go back in time, to have met Zhou Wan earlier, to have stood beside her sooner, to have told that little Zhou Wan: you were never a burden, you are my only treasure.
The sunlight hurt his eyes, and he raised his hand to press his eyelids.
He lowered his eyes again to look at the little girl crouching before him.
“That’s not true,” he said softly. “If you just leave like that, grandmother will truly be all alone, and she’ll be very sad.”
The little girl looked up. Her eyes were large, clear, and pure.
“Don’t worry about school,” Lu Xixiao said. “Grandmother will be happy to see you studying well. Brother will help pay for your tuition in the future.”
The little girl was stunned and quickly waved her hands: “No, brother, you’re already so kind to help grandmother, you don’t need to do this for me.”
“It’s fine,” Lu Xixiao gently ruffled her hair. “Think of it as a loan from brother. You can pay me back when you earn money in the future.”
…
Zhou Wan came out after helping the grandmother tidy up the house and saw this scene.
In the brilliant sunlight, Lu Xixiao sat on the low wooden chair, leaning forward slightly, smiling as he talked to the little girl, his expression gentle and patient, yet his pupils seemed to hide too many unspoken emotions.
Zhou Wan’s lips curved upward as she walked over: “Lu Xixiao.”
“Mm.” Lu Xixiao stood up.
It was nearly mealtime, so they didn’t stay long at grandmother’s house, leaving after a brief chat.
Zhou Wan got into the car and turned her head with a smile: “I never noticed before – do you really like children?”
“I don’t like most children.”
Zhou Wan remembered when they went to the amusement park long ago, and Lu Xixiao had made a child cry while riding bumper cars.
Thinking of the past, she couldn’t help but smile.
Lu Xixiao glanced at her: “What are you smiling at?”
“Nothing.” Zhou Wan kept smiling, shaking her head, and said, “Seems like you and that little girl got along well.”
“Because she’s like you.”
“Hm? Why?”
Lu Xixiao didn’t explain further, simply saying: “After we get back, I’ll have someone coordinate with their village. I’ll sponsor her education through university graduation.”
Zhou Wan was stunned, not expecting Lu Xixiao to do this.
She paused, feeling the warmth spread through her heart.
Lu Xixiao was always cold on the outside but warm inside. His exterior often led to many misunderstandings, making people think he was cold-blooded and indifferent, but he had always been kind.
“Mm.” Zhou Wan smiled, unable to help saying, “Lu Xixiao, you’re so good.”
Lu Xixiao glanced at her: “Giving me the ‘nice guy’ card?”
“…No, I mean it sincerely.”
He rolled down the window halfway, put a cigarette in his mouth, resting his arm on the windowsill, looking somewhat lazy and roguish: “Fine, then when do you plan to date this nice guy?”
“…”
Zhou Wan stared at him, blinking, then shifted her gaze to look ahead.
Red light.
The car slowly stopped at the crosswalk.
Lu Xixiao exhaled a breath of smoke, his right hand reaching over to grab Zhou Wan’s palm.
His fingertips were slightly hot, long, and bony, his fingerpads lightly tracing her palm, unhurried, brief but deliberate, effortlessly making her heart race.
Zhou Wan felt even the air in the car had become thin.
Her ears grew hot as she lowered her eyes and said softly: “Lu Xixiao, I’m not ready yet.”
He continued holding her hand, gently squeezing her palm and fingertips, maintaining his composure, patiently waiting for her to continue.
“You don’t need to pursue me. You’re so good, so excellent, you don’t need to pursue me at all – it’s my issue.”
Zhou Wan’s voice was very soft. “Before, it was all my fault, so now I need to become better, to be worthy of you, to not let you down.”
Lu Xixiao laughed slightly, flicking his cigarette ash: “Alright.” He agreed quickly.
If Zhou Wan couldn’t get past that mental barrier, he would wait until she could cross it.
At least now her first reaction wasn’t to run away anymore. That was enough.
*
Over the next few days, both Zhou Wan and Lu Xixiao were very busy with work, rarely having time even to eat together.
Spring had arrived, and the weather was getting warmer day by day. There was a flower bed at the bottom of the newspaper office building, with many flowers blooming. Zhou Wan couldn’t help wondering if the flowers they had planted in Pingchuan City had also bloomed.
As if telepathically connected, Lu Xixiao sent her a photo that afternoon.
Zhou Wan opened it to see his home’s small garden.
The flowers were all blooming, some in full bloom, others still in bud, full of vitality.
This was Zhou Wan’s first time seeing the blooming garden, and she couldn’t help smiling, her eyes curved.
[Zhou Wan: Where did you get this photo?]
[6: Had someone go over to tend it in spring, and asked them to take a photo.]
In all these years since she left, Lu Xixiao had taken good care of the flowers she had planted.
Lu Xixiao wasn’t the type to spend effort caring for plants, and couldn’t be bothered normally – the garden his mother had kept had gradually fallen into disrepair.
She didn’t know what state of mind Lu Xixiao had been in when he first started tending the garden.
He had still resented her then, yet he had taken such good care of the flowers she planted as if they were some kind of emotional anchor.
Zhou Wan felt both sweet and bitter, smiling as she put her phone aside.
Beside her, Ji Jie caught a glimpse of the contact name – 6.
She asked in surprise: “Is that your boyfriend’s contact name?”
“Ah, yes,” Zhou Wan said. “We’re not together yet.”
“What? But I heard Uncle Ye say that the Shengxing Media incident with Huang Hui was him getting revenge for you. I thought you were a couple! So what’s your relationship now?”
Such a relationship couldn’t be hidden, of course.
By now, all her colleagues at the newspaper knew about her relationship with Lu Xixiao, but everyone was nice to begin with. Though some were curious and gossipy, often trying to get inside information from her, they treated her no differently than anyone else.
Zhou Wan thought about how to describe her relationship with Lu Xixiao: “We’ve known each other for a long time, dated briefly in high school.”
“Wow! A broken mirror made whole again!”
Ji Jie was a romantic at heart. “That’s so romantic! Why haven’t you gotten back together yet?”
“Because our breakup was complicated, we need some time to sort things out. Plus we’ve been apart for several years, so I want to slowly get to know him again, and treat him better.”
Ji Jie nodded with partial understanding: “But your contact name for him is strange – 6? Is it because his surname is Lu?”
“Mm.”
“When I was in school, I had a crush on our student council president, Huo Jian. After adding him on WeChat, I didn’t dare use his name directly, so I secretly changed it to the rocket emoji. Only I knew it was him.”
Ji Jie smiled, “Your contact name has that same crushing-on-someone feeling. Say, did you have a crush on him when you first met?”
Zhou Wan paused.
Her thoughts seemed to return to a time long, long ago, those memories somewhat yellowed now, falling away like fragments carrying pieces of memory.
She lowered her head and pressed her lips together: “I suppose so.”
…
Today was unusually quiet. A male colleague nicknamed “Fang Xiaosa” sitting on the other side had been scrolling on his phone when he suddenly cursed and sat up straight.
“What’s wrong?” someone asked.
“Breaking news from S University – there’s been a murder in the dormitory. Police are already outside the dorm.”
“Murder?!”
“Don’t know the reason yet. I’m seeing comments from students at the school – they’re all confused too.”
Everyone quickly sprang into action, shouldering their equipment bags and grabbing notepads as they headed downstairs.
The road was somewhat congested, especially near S University where it was completely blocked. Police were setting up cordons.
“Just stop here, driver,” Uncle Ye said. “We’ll walk in.”
Zhou Wan followed everyone toward the dormitory area where the incident occurred.
The dormitory entrance was already sealed off, with many students gathered outside discussing the incident. An ambulance had arrived, but they heard it was too late for rescue – the wound was too deep, and there had been too much blood loss.
Zhou Wan tied up her hair and took out her notepad to question the surrounding students.
There were various accounts, and Zhou Wan recorded them all.
By evening, everyone had finally pieced together what had happened.
The victim and perpetrator were roommates, studying under the same advisor. They had maintained poor relations due to disputes over research authorship credits. Today, during an argument, emotions exploded. When the perpetrator pulled the victim down from the upper bunk, his forehead hit the table corner, knocking over a flower pot. Then, when his head hit the ground, it was severely pierced by glass shards – a case of involuntary manslaughter.
When the police led the young man out, he was crying inconsolably, his legs shaking so much he could barely walk.
A reporter’s work often exposed them to life’s impermanence and the good and evil in people’s hearts.
On the car ride back, everyone was sighing about it.
Both had been promising graduate students at a prestigious university, about to graduate, only to encounter such a tragedy.
Zhou Wan sat by the window looking at her phone. There were already many photos of the incident online, including students’ shots of the victim being carried out covered in blood.
Zhou Wan looked at the screens of blood, disturbing and shocking, making her frown with discomfort.
No one knows what might happen in the next moment.
Now that she was older and more mature, looking back at past events, Zhou Wan could break out in a cold sweat all over again.
The umbrella rib she had stabbed into Luo He’s shoulder.
And the knife Luo He had stabbed into Lu Xixiao’s chest.
They had also nearly had something happen that could never be taken back.
At that moment, a notification popped up on her phone, a news headline:
— 26-year-old Physics Genius Jiang Yan Wins Highest Honor in Physics!