Those few words made Lu Xixiao understand how much Zhou Wan had changed.
Even though it was difficult for her to say it, she was finally willing to tell him and depend on him.
She was also trying hard to change, wanting to make up for the regrets between them.
Lu Xixiao felt his nose tingle as he pulled Zhou Wan into his embrace.
“Don’t be afraid, Wan Wan,” he coaxed softly. “She can’t do anything. Even if she wants to try something, it won’t affect us.”
At the sound of his voice, Zhou Wan’s suspended heart gradually settled.
The shadow Guo Xiangling cast over her was immense.
All her unpleasant childhood memories stemmed from Guo Xiangling, including the darkness and selfishness that Guo Xiangling had brought out in her.
All of Zhou Wan’s childhood hardships were caused by her.
So much so that years later, hearing her voice again, Zhou Wan’s first reaction was fear and instability, worried that her current life would once again be disrupted.
It wasn’t until she heard Lu Xixiao’s words that she suddenly realized they were all grown up now, and no external force could hinder them anymore.
Guo Xiangling was just a middle-aged woman, without much capability, who couldn’t do anything outrageous.
Lu Xixiao gently patted her shoulder and lowered his head to look directly into her eyes, his gaze focused and serious as he told her word by word: “Don’t be afraid. No matter what happens, I’ll handle it.”
Zhou Wan sniffled and nodded.
He was standing while she sat, her face pressed against his chest, her mood still a bit low. After a while, she said, “I’m sorry.”
Lu Xixiao smiled. “What are you sorry for?”
“Always making you worry about my problems.”
“Wan Wan, I’m happy that you’re willing to tell me about your concerns,” Lu Xixiao said.
Zhou Wan pressed her lips together, tilted her head up and kissed him lightly on the lips: “I won’t keep things from you anymore.”
…
Over the weekend, Zhou Wan was busy preparing for the next round of competition, leaving her little time to think about Guo Xiangling’s matters. After blocking her, she couldn’t harass Zhou Wan anymore.
Until Tuesday afternoon, when Zhou Wan received several more messages.
The phone number had changed.
[Wan Wan, we haven’t seen each other for so many years. When are you free? Mom wants to see you again and wants to apologize in person. Back then, Mom was blinded by money and did many things that hurt you. Mom has regretted it all these years. Mom is getting old now, with no one by her side, and can’t help crying at night thinking about the past.]
[Wan Wan, you’re working in B City now, right? Mom saw your interview video online. So many people in the comments praised you. You’ve always had good grades, Mom always knew you’d be successful when you grew up.]
[After some time, when Mom is less busy and saves some money, I’ll take a bus to B City to find you.]
When she saw the last message, Zhou Wan’s fingers froze, and that nauseating feeling welled up again.
She gritted her teeth, forcing herself to calm down again.
She didn’t want to see Guo Xiangling at all.
Their relationship had been severed long ago, the mother-daughter bond completely exhausted that year, leaving nothing behind. They should simply stay in their lanes and not disturb each other.
If she came to B City, with her shameless personality, Zhou Wan couldn’t imagine what she might do.
If it only affected her, that would be one thing, but now it involved Lu Xixiao too. She didn’t want others to look at Lu Xixiao through colored glasses.
“Wan Wan.”
Ji Jie came over and patted her shoulder. “Are you alright? You look quite pale.”
Zhou Wan came back to herself, smiling and shaking her head: “I’m fine.”
Looking at her complexion, Ji Jie was still worried: “Is it because the competition schedule is too tight and you’re too tired? There’s no interview this afternoon anyway, why don’t you tell the chief editor and go home to rest?”
“I’m fine. I just need to sit for a while,” Zhou Wan thanked her again for her concern.
“Alright, but call me if you need anything.”
“Mm.”
Zhou Wan sat alone at her desk, staring at those messages several more times before finally getting up and walking to an empty corridor to dial that new number. After two rings, it was answered, and Guo Xiangling’s voice came through.
“Hello, Wan Wan.”
Zhou Wan closed her eyes briefly: “Where did you get my phone number?”
“Oh, that? I saw your competition video on my phone and asked someone about it,” Guo Xiangling said. “Mom just wants to talk to you properly and apologize.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me. Just don’t disturb my life from now on, that’s all.”
After a moment of silence, Guo Xiangling seemed to sigh, her voice softening further: “Wan Wan, we’re still mother and daughter, connected by blood.”
Zhou Wan’s chest tightened, feeling utterly disgusted.
She didn’t know how Guo Xiangling could say such things, abandoning her when she needed a mother most, and now coming to disrupt her life again.
“Guo Xiangling.”
Zhou Wan forced herself to stabilize again, “You caused Grandmother to miss her transplant surgery, and you never took care of me. You were the one who said you didn’t have a daughter like me. Don’t you find it ridiculous to say these things now?”
“I…”
Zhou Wan stood by the window, gripping the railing so tightly her knuckles turned white: “If you had even the slightest bit of remorse, you wouldn’t make this call. I will never forgive you, and I don’t want to see you again. Please stop harassing me in the future.”
After hanging up, Zhou Wan supported herself on the railing, hunching over as her chest heaved with heavy breaths.
After composing herself, she blocked the new number as well.
…
For the next few days, Guo Xiangling didn’t contact her again.
Zhou Wan could finally breathe and continue preparing to host the competition.
In this competition, she was completely a dark horse, far exceeding the chief editor’s original expectations. As a result, all her original work was redistributed, allowing her to focus entirely on the competition.
The day after the 15-to-9 competition ended, Lu Xixiao needed to go on a business trip.
That evening, Zhou Wan helped him pack his luggage.
“You don’t need to pack so much.” Lu Xixiao took the coat from her hands, “It’s not cold there, and it’s only three days.”
“I checked the weather forecast. There’ll be cold air the day after tomorrow, dropping the temperature by 7 or 8 degrees,” Zhou Wan stuffed the coat back into the suitcase.
Lu Xixiao chuckled softly, ruffling her hair: “Take good care of yourself these three days, and tell me if anything happens.”
“Mm.” After responding, Zhou Wan blinked and couldn’t help smiling, “It’s only three days, how could I not take care of myself?”
She had managed all those years before.
“What do you mean ‘only’ three days?”
Lu Xixiao picked at her words again, pinching her chin and shaking it gently, “I see other girlfriends missing their boyfriends after three days apart, but with you, it’s just ‘only’?”
“…”
It was just three days.
Zhou Wan would indeed miss him and worry about him not taking good care of himself, but she wasn’t a fussy person by nature. They’d see each other again in three days, so she felt it wasn’t a big deal.
No matter how much she’d miss him, it was just three days.
However, in their time together, she had figured out his personality.
When he was unhappy, she needed to comfort him quickly, or he’d keep escalating things, eventually starting to make baseless accusations.
He could be quite difficult.
“Not at all.” Zhou Wan took the initiative to kiss him, “I’ll miss you too.”
Unfortunately, Lu Xixiao had also figured out her tactics.
He bit her lip, scoffing unsympathetically: “Acting all sweet now.”
“…”
The next morning, Zhou Wan took an hour off work to accompany Lu Xixiao to the airport.
Outside the airport, Lu Xixiao held his suitcase in one hand and his phone in the other, sending his secretary’s number to Zhou Wan: “I’ll have a lot of meetings these next few days. If you can’t reach me and it’s urgent, contact him first.”
“Mm.” Zhou Wan smiled, giving him a hug: “Go in now, don’t be late.”
“Mm.”
He bent down again, his tongue intertwining with Zhou Wan’s in a kiss. The crowd bustled around them, coming and going, but Lu Xixiao kissed her deeply, paying no mind to others.
In such an environment, Zhou Wan felt uncomfortable, pushing him away with a red face.
At that moment, nearby, a couple who looked like college students – the girl seeing off the boy – were reluctant to part. The girl was crying, her eyes red, holding hands unwilling to let go, while the boy patiently comforted her, saying he’d fly back to see her next month.
Seems they were in a long-distance relationship.
Zhou Wan glanced their way, and when she looked back, she found Lu Xixiao also watching in that direction.
Then, he raised an eyebrow.
Zhou Wan’s heart skipped a beat.
She felt she could see several clear words written on his face — I’m. About. To. Start. Acting. Up.
Then she saw Lu Xixiao lower his gaze back to her and start complaining: “Look at them.”
“…”
He continued: “I’m leaving, how come you’re not shedding a single tear?”
“…”
Zhou Wan remained silent outwardly, but couldn’t help thinking to herself that this was just three days, not like those long-distance couples.
After a moment of silence, Zhou Wan decided to play along, speaking slowly and seriously: “How come you’re not shedding a single tear about not seeing me for three days?”
“…”
After a pause, Zhou Wan thought about how he usually acted up and added: “Is this how you’re supposed to be as a boyfriend?”
She was completely imitating Lu Xixiao, repeating like a recording, without much inflection, dragging out her words, sounding listless.
“…”
Lu Xixiao looked at her expression for a long while, then laughed in exasperation: “Zhou Wan.”
She pressed her lips together, falling silent again.
“Do you think I can’t deal with you just because I’m leaving?” Lu Xixiao asked.
“…”
Zhou Wan shrank her neck, mumbling softly: “No.”
“Apologize.”
“I’m sorry,” Zhou Wan said immediately.
Lu Xixiao messed up her hair randomly, making it completely disheveled: “Just look at you.”
Zhou Wan let him “vent,” and after he finished, reminded him: “Go in now, it’s almost boarding time.”
“Kiss me.”
Though he said this, he neither lowered his head nor bent down.
Having no choice, Zhou Wan had to put her hands on his shoulders and stand on tiptoes to reach him.
Lu Xixiao bit her lip lightly again and patted her bottom: “I’m going.”
*
After watching Lu Xixiao enter security, Zhou Wan waved goodbye to him once more before leaving.
She was somewhat happy about Lu Xixiao being away for these three days. The night he returned would be November 18th, his birthday, and she could use these few days to think carefully about what birthday gifts to prepare for him.
Back at the newspaper office, everyone was currently focusing on doing a theme about families who had lost their only child. Zhou Wan prepared the topic for the next competition stage, and in the afternoon went with colleagues to do research and interviews at a nursing home.
During this time, Lu Xixiao messaged to say he had landed.
Zhou Wan smiled at her phone and took a picture of the nursing home to send him, telling him what she was doing.
After finishing the research and interviews, it was almost time to get off work. Some colleagues who drove themselves went straight home, while others took the company car back to the office first.
“Wan Wan, your boyfriend’s not picking you up today?” Ji Jie asked.
Zhou Wan: “He’s on a business trip.”
Uncle Ye turned around: “Then how are you getting back? I can give you a ride if we’re going the same way.”
“It’s fine.” Zhou Wan smiled, her eyes curving, “Taking the subway from the office is very convenient.”
Although she had gotten her driver’s license, B City was always congested, and Zhou Wan didn’t like driving normally.
At first, Lu Xixiao told her to call his secretary for a ride after work, but Zhou Wan always felt embarrassed about troubling others and was used to taking the subway.
Uncle Ye didn’t insist: “Alright, be careful on your way then.”
The group returned to the newspaper office, and Zhou Wan went back to her desk to tidy up before going downstairs with Ji Jie.
She had been thinking all day about what birthday gift to buy for Lu Xixiao, but Lu Xixiao lacked nothing, and though she wanted to give something meaningful, she couldn’t think of anything.
“Xiao Jie,” Zhou Wan asked, “do you know what kind of gifts guys like?”
“Hmm?” Ji Jie blinked, “Is it your boyfriend’s birthday?”
“Yes, the day he returns from his business trip is his birthday.”
“Someone like Mr. Lu can probably buy anything he wants,” Ji Jie analyzed for her. “This kind of gift needs to touch his heart. Why don’t you cook him a candlelight dinner when he returns?”
“A candlelight dinner… wouldn’t that be too little? Like it’s not sincere enough.”
Ji Jie: “I wasn’t finished. After dinner, you can give yourself to him as a gift, buy some sexy sleepwear, and let him unwrap his present personally.”
“…”
Zhou Wan tried to imagine that scene but didn’t dare continue halfway through.
It was just… too frightening.
Ji Jie had no filter.
Never mind, she’d think about it more herself.
The two chatted as they went downstairs. At the bottom, Zhou Wan waved goodbye: “Be careful on your way, see you tomorrow.”
“Bye-bye!”
Just as Zhou Wan turned around, a voice came from beside her ear, Guo Xiangling’s voice: “Wan Wan.”
Her whole body stiffened as she turned to look.
Guo Xiangling was standing on the other side of the service road.
They hadn’t seen each other for seven or eight years.
She had aged a lot, with many wrinkles on her face, deep creases at her eyes, sallow skin, and pupils that had lost their former brightness. She wore a short black down jacket with sleeve protectors on both arms.
This Guo Xiangling was vastly different from Zhou Wan’s memories.
So much so that when she first saw Guo Xiangling, Zhou Wan froze completely, her heart instantly filled with mixed emotions.
In her memory, Guo Xiangling always dressed well. Even before her divorce from Zhou Jun when they didn’t have much spare money, she would still spend generously on her appearance.
Even if she fell on hard times, she should still maintain herself meticulously.
For a moment, Zhou Wan wondered if she had dressed this way deliberately to gain sympathy.
But then she saw how rough the skin on her hands had become, covered in chilblains already in November’s weather.
This wasn’t something that could change overnight; it was clear that she hadn’t been living well these years.
“Wan Wan.”
Guo Xiangling called out again, stumbling forward quickly and gripping Zhou Wan’s wrist tightly.
Her voice trembled with sincere emotion, her eyes reddened, and tears immediately rolled down along the winding wrinkles at her eyes, like a pitiful mother who had finally found her daughter after traversing mountains and rivers.
“Mom has missed you so much these years.”
Zhou Wan felt cold all over. When Guo Xiangling reached for her sleeve again, she instinctively raised her hand, avoiding her touch and taking a clear step back in rejection.
“Wan Wan.”
Ji Jie had stopped at Guo Xiangling’s first call, watching this scene in surprise, and tentatively asked, “Is everything okay?”
In this bustling city of flowing traffic and concrete, with skyscrapers behind them and asphalt roads ahead, Zhou Wan wore proper, clean clothes and elegant flats, radiantly beautiful, while Guo Xiangling was the complete opposite. Under such contrast, every inch Zhou Wan retreated could be misinterpreted as disdain.
She had already been forced to the edge of a precarious cliff, the moral high ground.
Working in the news herself, Zhou Wan knew too well how this scene could be misinterpreted.
But she didn’t want others prying open her past wounds for public viewing.
“It’s fine.”
Zhou Wan smiled at Ji Jie, then grabbed Guo Xiangling’s hand with her cold one and walked toward the subway station on the other side.
“Wan Wan…”
“Don’t speak right now,” Zhou Wan cut her off coldly, walking quickly. “And don’t call me that.”
Guo Xiangling opened her mouth but finally said nothing.
Zhou Wan bought her a subway ticket and they boarded a train heading toward the suburbs.
Finally, Zhou Wan found a coffee shop that wasn’t too crowded. She ordered two coffees and sat with Guo Xiangling by the window.
As she sat down, Zhou Wan suddenly remembered something and found it all rather laughable.
She still remembered meeting Guo Xiangling at a coffee shop in her second year of high school about Grandmother’s illness. When leaving, it started pouring rain. Guo Xiangling left in a sedan while she ran through the rain to the bus stop. At the platform, she turned to look at that car and saw it stopped by the roadside, Guo Xiangling leaning out to talk to Lu Xixiao.
“Why did you suddenly come to find me?” Zhou Wan asked directly.
“Wan Wan, Mom just wants to apologize. Mom knows I was wrong before. Can you forgive Mom?”
“No.”
Zhou Wan looked at her, her voice soft but firm, “Why should I forgive you? You had no real difficulties, you simply didn’t want me anymore.”
Guo Xiangling started crying again.
Tears fell one by one until she covered her face, weeping.
The tissue box was right beside Zhou Wan, but she never pulled out a single piece to offer.
“I will never forgive you in this lifetime, and I’ve ruined what would have been your peaceful latter years.”
Zhou Wan calmly watched her cry, “So we might as well just hate and resent each other, and not disturb one another anymore.”
The server brought two coffees.
Zhou Wan picked up her cup and took a sip, then got up to exchange five hundred yuan in cash from the staff.
She put the cash in front of Guo Xiangling: “You probably can’t buy a ticket now. Find a hotel, and use this money to go back tomorrow. You won’t get anything else from me.”
With that, Zhou Wan picked up her bag and turned to leave.
“Wan Wan.”
She didn’t stop walking.
Guo Xiangling said hoarsely: “I have nowhere else to turn—”
Zhou Wan didn’t look back. She hunched over, her back very bent, white strands hidden in her dry hair, shoulder blades protruding through her sweater.
“I later invested in a beauty salon, but business has been bad these years and it went bankrupt,” Guo Xiangling said. “I had no choice but to borrow money. If I can’t pay it back, they’ll beat me to death…”
Zhou Wan’s steps faltered, her throat involuntarily swallowing, her legs feeling as heavy as lead. When she opened her mouth, she could barely make a sound, saying softly: “So you came to find me because you want me to help you repay the money?”
Guo Xiangling turned back with red eyes: “I have no other choice. That year…”
Zhou Wan’s eyelids burned fiercely, something hot threatening to spill out, but she held it back forcefully, her eye sockets burning red as she refused to let a single tear fall.
“I told you not to call me that!”
Her emotions exploded as she stared at this rapidly aged woman, “Now you don’t want to die, but what about Dad and Grandmother back then? What did you do at that time?”
“How can you treat me like this? You made me lose Dad and Grandmother, and now how can you still make such demands of me?”
Zhou Wan had no expectations of Guo Xiangling.
She knew with Guo Xiangling’s personality, suddenly coming to find her couldn’t be about genuine repentance.
But at this moment, she still felt incredibly sad and wronged.
After meeting Lu Xixiao again in B City, she met many good people and thought her unlucky life was finally turning around, but Guo Xiangling’s appearance dragged her back into the abyss.
Why did her birth mother have to be such a person?
Why did she have to endure all of this?
Zhou Wan lowered her eyes. Finally, that tear she couldn’t hold back fell to the ground.
“Why did you give birth to me in the first place? If you never loved me, why did you have me? Why is it that every time I think I’m finally going to see better days, you have to appear!”
“After Dad left, didn’t I beg you not to abandon me? I was kneeling on the ground clutching your clothes begging you not to leave, but you still left. Why do you have to come back now?”
“Am I your dog? You leave when you want to leave, and when you want to come back you just whistle and expect me to wag my tail at you? There’s no such unfair logic.”
Guo Xiangling: “Mom knows…”
“I won’t give you money, and I definitely won’t help you repay your debts.”
Zhou Wan said with red eyes, “Whether you live or die has nothing to do with me. If you harass me again, I’ll call the police directly.”
Guo Xiangling was taken aback.
She seemed shocked by these heartless words, her gaze turning cold and disbelieving.
“I carried you for ten months and cut open my flesh to give birth to you. If not merit, at least there was hardship. Now you not only refuse to help me in my hour of need but even threaten to call the police on me!?”
Guo Xiangling’s facade completely crumbled as she shrieked, “We’re blood relatives, still registered in the same household. What you’re doing now is abandonment!”
Such words couldn’t frighten Zhou Wan.
She found she was still used to this version of Guo Xiangling.
She even managed a self-mocking smile: “After all, we are blood relatives. What I’m doing now is just like when you abandoned me before.”
…
Back home, Zhou Wan lay in bed after taking a shower.
After seeing Guo Xiangling, she was completely exhausted, both physically and mentally. She tried to empty her mind, but Guo Xiangling’s appearance and words kept circling in her thoughts.
She couldn’t forget them no matter what.
She raised her arm across her eyes and let out a soft sigh.
At that moment, her phone rang.
It was Lu Xixiao.
Zhou Wan paused, not wanting him to hear her low mood. She coughed slightly and answered: “Hello?”
“What are you doing?”
“Lying down, doing nothing.”
He chuckled: “Not preparing for the competition today?”
“I looked at it during the day.” Because of what had happened earlier, Zhou Wan’s voice was a bit hoarse. “I’m a bit tired, just wanted to lie down for a while before looking at it again.”
“If you’re tired, rest early and look at it tomorrow.”
After a pause, Lu Xixiao seemed to sense something was off and asked: “You’re not feeling unwell, are you?”
“No.”
“Let’s do a video call, I want to see you.”
Zhou Wan was startled.
The next second, Lu Xixiao was calling for a video chat.
She quickly wiped her eyes, dimmed the lights, and then tucked her chin under the blanket.
It wasn’t that she wanted to hide it from him, but he was out of town now with lots of work to handle, and Zhou Wan didn’t want to make him worry at this time – at least not now.
She opened the video call.
The screen flickered, and Lu Xixiao’s face appeared.
He was back at the hotel, wearing the hotel’s bathrobe, probably just out of the shower too, his black hair slightly damp, his eyes looking particularly deep under the overhead light.
“Why are you hiding your face?”
His voice carried a slightly nasal tone of hoarseness, making it especially gentle. “Let me see.”
Zhou Wan lifted her chin slightly, mumbling softly: “I’m not unwell.”
“Then why do you look so listless?” Lu Xixiao furrowed his brows, glancing at the clock. “Should I fly back now?”
Zhou Wan blinked.
She looked at the man on the screen – his features and contours were naturally sharp, but at this moment they had all softened, leaving only distinct tenderness.
That tenderness seemed to penetrate through the phone screen, mixed with Lu Xixiao’s unique scent, squeezing out the grievance and unease in Zhou Wan’s heart.
“No need.”
She smiled, her eyes curving, holding back the sourness in her nose, “I just… miss you a bit.”
She gently rubbed her cheek against the pillow, dragging out his name softly: “Lu Xixiao.”
“Mm?”
“After you finish your work, can you come back quickly?”