Lin Fei’s trunks were all neatly packed. They had only to be loaded onto the carriages.

The two siblings gave Xie Yuzhang and her uncle a little time; once they had finished their own preparations, they came to say their farewells.

Xie Yuzhang held Lin Fei’s hand. “I am in Chongren Ward; you will be in Xuanping Ward — we are this close to each other. Once you have settled things at home, come and find me. Whenever you wish to come, just come.”

Lin Fei had held herself together until this moment and had nothing more to say. She only gripped Xie Yuzhang’s hand tightly. Then she got into the carriage and followed Lin Zi home.

When they reached the Lin family residence, the two younger cousins — Ninth Brother and Tenth Brother — had heard the news and came running out to greet her. When they were small, this elder cousin had doted on them. Then, when they had followed their father to his post elsewhere and were leaving, they had cried — and she had told them, It’s only two or three years; what is there to cry about? Yet one parting had stretched into more than ten years.

Even Lin Zi, thinking of the tragedy of those early years and the years of wandering that had followed, felt his eyes sting.

It was Lin Fei herself, the young woman at the center of it all, who only stroked their heads and said, “We have come back together — this is a joyful reunion. Why tears? You have both grown up well. That is good.”

Her sister might have been composed and quietly perceptive from childhood, but Lin Zi looked at her and could not shake the feeling that something about her was fundamentally different from before.

He said, “Coming back sooner is a good thing. Third Uncle is on duty today; when he returns, we’ll celebrate together this evening. What a pity that Fifth Uncle’s family is not in the capital — they won’t be coming up to the capital to report for another year.”

In Yunjing at present, the Lin family residence held Lin Zi, his Third Uncle and Third Aunt, two younger cousins, and several clan relations. He was currently a drafter in the Central Secretariat — the salary was not large, but it was a prestigious post where one participated in state deliberations, with a promising future ahead of him. It was clear that he and his Third Uncle had already received support from the Lin clan’s main branch in Jiangdong. The family’s resources would naturally concentrate in his direction.

While she was still turning this over in her mind, the Third Aunt in the inner courtyard had already heard that she had arrived. Not standing on ceremony at all, she came running — running — and a hairpin fell as she did. When she saw Lin Fei, she threw her arms around her and sobbed aloud.

“You have suffered so much! You have suffered so much!” Third Aunt’s tears would not stop.

Lin Fei said, “It has not been easy for Uncle and Aunt either.”

In those days when the Lin family had abruptly fallen into disaster, only Third Uncle’s family, Fifth Uncle’s family, and Third Brother who had been away traveling for his studies had escaped. When they received word of what had happened, they could only go into hiding; through the years when the former Zhao dynasty still stood, they had been forced to live under assumed names and concealed identities.

Who had not suffered?

“I placed myself under the shelter of the Zhaoxia Palace, and later went to Mobei — all along I was protected by the Princess. I suffered nothing,” Lin Fei said.

But no one believed her. Everyone felt that she must have been the one who suffered the most.

Third Aunt cried until she was gasping for breath, and so everyone had to turn to comforting her. Lin Fei and the two younger cousins helped her back to the inner courtyard to rest. Coming out of Third Aunt’s courtyard, Lin Zi said, “Come with me.”

He led Lin Fei to a courtyard that had already been tidied and set in order. A plum vase stood in the resting room, a painting of birds and flowers hung on the wall — it was fresh and refined, and somehow, faintly, just like the bedchamber she had known in the old Lin Prime Minister’s Residence all those years ago.

“I did my best to arrange things in the way I remembered from before. Look — I remember that your platform bed used to have a small decorative screen, a double-sided embroidery piece. Unfortunately, double-sided embroidery is quite rare in the north nowadays; I found this design of seeking plum blossoms in the snow instead, and I thought you would like it.”

Lin Zi walked Lin Fei through each detail of the room’s arrangement.

Every corner had been thought over. Every corner was the tender longing of a family waiting for her return.

As he spoke, Lin Zi suddenly sensed a deep stillness. He turned around, and a shock went through him.

Even when they had first been reunited the day before — after more than ten years of difficult separation — this sister of his had only reddened her eyes; to this day she had not once shed a tear. Yet now Lin Fei was standing there with her head bowed, and two lines of clear tears were making their way down her cheeks.

Lin Zi was both startled and uncertain. He called, “Fei?”

Lin Fei raised her head and looked at him, weeping as she said, “Brother, I am so useless.”

“I chased all the way after her to Mobei, yet I was unable to do anything for her. In Yunjing, in Mobei — she was always the one protecting me. You have no idea how much of her energy and thought she spent on me, always afraid I might be hurt the smallest bit, always anxious for me day and night.”

“I followed her there claiming it was to repay her kindness, yet I became instead a burden to her — someone she had to worry about and guard, day and night, without rest.”

Lin Fei’s tears would not stop. “Brother, I am so useless. I am a true disgrace to the Lin family.”

Lin Zi watched her in silence for a moment, then let out a slow sigh. He walked over and reached out to touch the top of her head.

“Foolish Fei,” he said with a gentle smile. “If she did not truly know you and cherish you, why would she spend her days and nights in worry for you?”

He said, “Do not be in such a hurry. Our grandfather, when he was repaying his debt of gratitude, also waited seventeen years before the chance arose. You and she still have a long future ahead of you. There is no need to rush.”

But her princess was so formidably capable — she did not need Lin Fei’s repayment at all.

Lin Fei had long since understood, from the “past life” Xie Yuzhang had recounted, that the Lin Fei of that other life had accomplished what this Lin Fei had not. That Lin Fei had truly repaid Xie Yuzhang.

But that Lin Fei was not her. And this Xie Yuzhang gave her no opportunity to repay anything. Leaving Xie Yuzhang — so that Xie Yuzhang would no longer have to spend her energy and worry on her account — had become the only thing this Lin Fei could do for her.

Lin Fei was already twenty-five years old, yet beneath her brother’s warm, steady hand, she wept like a child.

Watching the carriage bearing Lin Fei drive away, Xie Yuzhang felt as though a great stone had lifted from her shoulders. From the moment of her rebirth, she had never felt so light.

“Uncle, let us go as well,” she said.

And so she and Yang Changyuan went together to the Marquis of Xiaoyao’s Residence.

The residence was exactly as she remembered it. Only, in her past life she had entered from the side gate — this time, the Marquis of Xiaoyao’s Residence opened its central gate for her.

Because her title was the imperial-bestowed Princess Yongning of Da Mu.

Living in the Marquis of Xiaoyao’s Residence were: Xie Yuzhang’s father, the former last Emperor of Zhao; the former Crown Prince, his Crown Princess, and their five children; and, of the other imperial princes who still lived, the Fifth Prince, Eighth Prince, and Ninth Prince. The Seventh, Eleventh, and Twelfth Princes had perished in the chaos of war. Of the princesses, only Princess Jiayou remained; Princess Fukang had disappeared during the upheaval.

This life differed little from her past one — those who had survived in the past had survived again, and those who had died had died again. The only variable was Princess Jiayou.

The loss of Princess Fukang was a grief that cut like a blade every time it crossed her mind.

The residence was just as Xie Yuzhang remembered — still water, no movement. Among the female members of her generation, there was no one besides Princess Jiayou except the Crown Princess, née Yu; the Fifth Prince’s wife had been taken back by her natal family, with only a letter of dissolution of marriage sent in return.

The Eighth and Ninth Princes were, one of them, twenty-two years old this year, and the other, only seventeen. When the chaos broke out, neither had yet managed to take a wife. Now, they had no hope of taking one at all.

In her past life, after Xie Yuzhang returned, all three brothers had, one after another, married merchants’ daughters or women of common birth. Even so, they had still been forced to offer handsome betrothal gifts before those women would agree to come — and only families greedy enough for money would send their daughters into the Marquis of Xiaoyao’s Residence, a gilded cage for the former imperial clan.

Xie Yuzhang’s reunion with all of them had nothing particularly moving about it. Most of them wore expressions of wooden blankness.

Though word had reached them that Xie Yuzhang had been enfeoffed as a princess, what could a woman change? It could not change their status as the former imperial clan of a past dynasty.

Only the former Emperor wept, tears streaming from aged eyes, murmuring over and over: “It is good that you came back. It is good that you came back.”

The Crown Prince still smelled of wine, his eyes dulled and clouded. The Crown Princess and Xie Yuzhang clasped each other’s hands and pressed them tightly together, but said nothing.

The Fifth Prince said, “Baohua, I hear you performed great service?”

Xie Yuzhang said, “Fifth Brother, please be careful with your words. I only ran about serving as a go-between. It was a modest contribution, nothing more. And my title now is not Baohua — it is Yongning.”

The Fifth Prince muttered, “A modest contribution wouldn’t earn a princess’s title…” But Xie Yuzhang’s expression toward him was cool and indifferent, and his voice trailed off.

She greeted the Eighth and Ninth Princes in turn; both gave a wooden nod and said nothing.

Only at the last, when she looked down at Princess Jiayou — who stood half a head shorter than herself — did Xie Yuzhang’s eyes fill with tears. “What a pity — Princess Fukang.”

Princess Jiayou was fourteen years old this year, the exact age Xie Yuzhang had been when she was sent off in marriage. She, too, like her two brothers, wore a face of utter blankness, and only said, “Yes,” before falling silent.

After the greetings were done, Xie Yuzhang said, “I would like to speak with Father alone.”

The Crown Prince nodded and turned to leave — without a single word. There was not a trace of vitality left in him.

The Fifth Prince cast several more glances at Xie Yuzhang; seeing she had no intention of asking him to stay, he could only leave as well. The rest followed the Crown Prince out one by one, each like a walking corpse.

When a dynasty changed hands, for the former imperial clan to receive such treatment was already the finest outcome imaginable. Better than this was simply not possible. And so their lives, at this juncture, had reached their ceiling. There was nothing more to look forward to.

Once everyone had withdrawn, Yang Changyuan also stepped outside, leaving only the Marquis of Xiaoyao and Xie Yuzhang in the hall.

The Marquis of Xiaoyao’s expression was somewhat unsteady, and he asked Xie Yuzhang haltingly, “In Mobei — did they treat you well?”

Xie Yuzhang said only, “The father died, the son continued.”

The Marquis of Xiaoyao had nothing to say to that. When he had sent fourteen-year-old Xie Yuzhang as a bride to a man past fifty, he had already known this day would come. His pampered daughter on that wild and distant land — a second marriage was nothing remarkable; a third or fourth would not have been unusual.

This had always been the fate of former peace-marriage princesses.

The Marquis of Xiaoyao faltered for a long while, and at last managed only, “I did not imagine you would turn out so strong.”

Then: “Thank heaven, you are a daughter and not a son.”

Xie Yuzhang truly had nothing to say to him. As for hatred — she had already hated him thoroughly in her past life. As for any feeling of being father and daughter — by now Xie Yuzhang barely knew how to write the word “feeling” at all.

The room fell into an awkward silence. The Marquis of Xiaoyao glanced this way and that, very much wanting to find a reason to end this encounter, which was making him deeply uncomfortable.

Fortunately, Xie Yuzhang finally spoke and broke the silence. “Father, His Majesty has enfeoffed me as a princess. Father ought to take up his brush and write a memorial of gratitude.”

The Marquis of Xiaoyao brightened at once. “Of course, of course. A memorial of gratitude must be written.”

Xie Yuzhang said, “How it should be written — Father knows, so I need say nothing more.”

The Marquis of Xiaoyao said, “I know, I know.”

Xie Yuzhang was quiet for a moment, then said, “Let Jiayou come away with me.”

The Marquis of Xiaoyao was also quiet for a moment before saying, with a desolate expression, “Very well. For you daughters, there are always more paths forward than for us. But you would need approval from above first.”

Xie Yuzhang said, “I will petition His Majesty.”

She finished speaking and could not give up, so she asked: “Is there truly no trace of Fukang at all?”

The Marquis of Xiaoyao let his tears fall. “Jiayou saw with her own eyes that she was taken by soldiers in the chaos.”

Alive without word, dead without body. The same as in her past life.

Xie Yuzhang’s heart had been hardened through long tempering; there were few things left that could move her. Princess Fukang, Princess Jiayou, and Crown Princess Yu were among that small number.

Compared to her past life, at least Princess Jiayou was still alive. One saved is one saved, Xie Yuzhang told herself.

She rose. “Then I have nothing more to say. I will go visit Sister-in-Law.” She gave a bow and turned to leave.

The Marquis of Xiaoyao, his eyes blurred with tears, watched her retreating figure.

This daughter had grown much taller than she was eight years ago. Her bearing was upright and graceful, like a fine bamboo.

Xie Yuzhang went to the Crown Prince’s courtyard. It was broad daylight, yet the Crown Prince was already drinking. By the time she arrived, he was already bleary-eyed.

She had seen plenty of him like this in her past life. And yet, even having lived through two lifetimes, she had nothing to say to him. The Crown Prince’s status as the heir of a fallen dynasty had locked his life in an iron grip — there was no remedy for it, no way out.

The former last Emperor and the former Crown Prince: one consumed elixirs, one drowned in wine. One was deranged and muddled all day long, the other spent his hours in a drunken stupor.

But compared to whatever else they might do, Xie Yuzhang understood that Li Gu would certainly prefer to see them like this.

Xie Yuzhang asked only, “Where is Sister-in-Law?”

The Crown Prince said, vaguely, “Inside.”

In this life, too, he had once tried to make efforts on her behalf before she was sent off in marriage. Xie Yuzhang looked at him for a moment, then turned to find Crown Princess Yu.

When Xie Yuzhang was sent in marriage, Crown Princess Yu’s eldest son had been only two years old. Now she had two sons, one daughter, and also one son and one daughter born of a concubine.

In her past life, when Xie Yuzhang had been too ill to rise from her bed and had finally made her peace with things, she had held Crown Princess Yu’s hand as Yu cared for her, and urged her to go back to her natal family.

But Crown Princess Yu had refused. She could leave — but her children were all surnamed Xie, bound to the Marquis of Xiaoyao’s Residence for life. She would always stay to watch over them.

Her life, too, could be seen to its end at a single glance.

Still water. No movement.

Crown Princess Yu brewed her tea. Listening to the sound of water coming to a boil, she said, “You are completely different from before.”

Xie Yuzhang said, “Anyone who experienced what I have experienced would be completely different.”

Crown Princess Yu gave a bitter smile. “When you left for the north back then, who could have imagined that one day you would be the one among us who fared the best?”

She said, “Go back and live well. From now on, come here as seldom as possible.”

“Very well,” Xie Yuzhang said. “But I want to bring Jiayou to live with me.”

Crown Princess Yu said, “That is a good arrangement. Find her a family one day. There is no need for wealth or prestige — as long as they are honest and decent. Several of the Xie family village girls have been given as concubines to other households. Do not let Jiayou fall into such a fate.”

Xie Yuzhang said, “She won’t. I am here.”

But then she asked: “Is there any word of Da Hu’s whereabouts?”

Crown Princess Yu said, “Princess Kangle? She lives with Prince Shou.”

Xie Yuzhang asked, “She never married?”

Crown Princess Yu said, “With her health, how could she marry? Would she be trying to hasten her own end? In these past three years I’ve only been able to see her at New Year. She does look a little sturdier than before — still thin, though.”

Xie Yuzhang nodded.

She took in Crown Princess Yu’s appearance — the clothes and adornments, naturally, could not compare to when she had been Crown Princess, but they were all appropriate to the standing of the mistress of a marquis’s household.

“Sister-in-Law,” Xie Yuzhang said. “In truth, for all of us here in this residence — there is silk and brocade to wear, chicken and lamb to eat. For countless ordinary people, this is a life they could never hope for.”

Crown Princess Yu said nothing.

Xie Yuzhang said, “In truth — being alive is enough. Being alive is enough.”

She said, “As long as no one in this residence does anything reckless, everyone can go on living well.”

As long. No one acts recklessly.